Karen's Ghost
Karen's Ghost
Baby Sitters Little Sister #12
Snarker's note: This snark is dedicated to Robin
Williams. The world got a little less funny with his
loss, and the best way to honor his memory is to
continue his work of making people laugh and think and
escape through great stories.
Cover Snark: Nothing too snark worthy, to be honest.
Karen is sitting in her bed at night sans glasses
looking terrified. If I thought ghosts were coming, I'd
want my glasses or contacts, just sayin'. She's also
got her sack of Halloween candy in bed with her and my
mother would never have let me do that. I could pig out
on Halloween night and on Easter too, but the candy
stayed in the kitchen or living room. I do like the
patch quilt on her bed, which hilariously looks like
one I'm working on that is upcycled from old, worn out
clothing. Real, live millionare indeed.
Chapter 1
The story opens with Karen whining to Kristy that she
doesn't want to go to sleep. Then in the next breath
she tells us you have to listen to your baby sitters
like you do your parents or police officers. Um..then
why are you NOT listening?
Kristy is concerned that four Halloween stories before
bed might keep Karen from being able to sleep, but
Karen is way scarier than ghosts or witches, so I'm
surprised that Kristy herself can sleep. Karen tries to
bluster about her bravery, then asks for the door to be
left open a crack. Even when I was her age, I found the
door being open a crack more stressing than having it
closed. I'm strange.
So Halloween is coming, but I'm not sure how it has any
meaning anymore since it seems to happen every six
weeks in Stoneybrook. And that gives Karen a chance to
tell us about Ben Brewer and Morbidda Destiny. You know
what the scary part is? No, not the ghost and witch
thing. That this little brat slanders her great-
grandfather and next door neighbor to every ear willing
to listen.
She spies on Mrs. Porter again, but figures she's
having a pizza and Netflix night since her broom is on
the front porch. Then she hears a creak and thinks it's
Ben Brewer. She tells him he can't scare her, then for
reasons I cannot come up with, she calls him "Honey."
That sounds like a healthy family dynamic!
Karen checks Mrs. Porter's house because she's a pain
in the ass like that and sees the porch light is off.
GASP! She must be off haunting! Or, you know, went to
bed.
She starts thinking about her two families then, so we
have an awkward seguay into....
Chapter 2
Two-two time. I'm skimming. I have a near photographic
memory so reading the same information over and over
again just pisses me off.
'Boo Boo scratches if you are not careful.' Uh, no. He
scratches if you're a little grabby brat with him. Big
difference.
Chapter 3
The next morning Karen, Andrew and David Michael start
planning their Halloween costumes. Emily Michelle
follows them into the play room only for DM to tell her
Halloween is just for the big kids. Yes, it is. And you
are NOT a big kid yet either, DM.
Karen tells the boys to let Emily play with the toys,
but DM is still acting offended by her mere prescence.
Apparently Watson buys costumes he thinks the kids will
like, and judging by the things Karen mentions, they
should have the right stuff to be the Village People.
David Michael wants to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
and I almost faint from Ann using a relevant piece of
pop culture. I also laugh that DM thinks Elizabeth can
make him a TMNT costume.
Unsurprisingly, Karen is a witch every year. Though I
think as many times as Halloween comes up in this
series, this is the only time she's a witch. You tried,
Ghosties. You tried.
Emily puts on a hat, high heels, a feather boa and a
tutu. She looks so adorable that her siblings can't
help but laugh. And then they have a lightbulb moment.
Taking Emily Michelle trick or treating with them might
mean more candy for them! Nice to know their priorties
are in order.
Karen falters a moment, no doubt not wanting to share
the spotlight, but then agrees they should dress her up
like a princes. So THEY get more candy. I love how pure
and kind children are, don't you?
Chapter 4
Karen goes over to the Papadakises to talk about
Halloween costumes. Hannie is going to wear her
mother's wedding dress, which she calls HER wedding
dress now by the way, from when she married Scott Hsu.
They try to come up with a costume for Karen. She wants
to be Ben Brewer, but Hannie points out no one is going
to KNOW that she's Ben Brewer and not a regular ghost.
Karen snaps SHE will know, and Hannie asks for the Ben
Brewer story again to soothe her ego.
She once again states that he was "crazy as anything"
and I'm not quite sure what that means, so my headcanon
is now that it's Karen's way of saying he was batshit
crazy. He never left the house when he was old and a
ghost began to haunt him. But when Hannie asks why,
Karen doesn't know. Nor does she know HOW Ben Brewer
himself became a ghost.
Um, he died? That's usually how it works, isn't it?
Chapter 5
Ms Colman is the best teacher EVAR because she never
makes you behave! Well, Karen says it's because she
hardly ever yells and doesn't make you feel stupid, but
we know that's what she really meant.
If you guessed that Ms Colman is mentioned because a
surprising announcement is forthcoming, pat yourself on
the back. Or take a shot of whiskey. You'll need it.
Because merely looking at Pamela makes Karen to stick
her tongue out. But she knows she has to act like other
second graders.
So, the big shocker is that the class is having a
Halloween party. Um...so did my class every farking
year. Even when I was in Catholic school we still had a
Halloween party! Complete with a costume parade, games,
snacks, and crafts. The only difference is Ms Colman is
letting them tell ghost stories and that could go
downhill very fast. Every class has that one student
that wants to shock the others.
Ricky proves my point, wanting to tell a story about
some guy's eyeballs falling out and walking around by
themselves. Karen already knows her story, of course.
If you're guessing it's about Ben Brewer, you're right.
And soon she gets into a pissing match with Pamela over
whose story will be better.
Ugh...Karen, not everything is a damn fucking contest!
Chapter 6
Nancy and Karen play with Emily Junior after school and
test out their scary stories on each other. Karen says
the scariest thing that happened to her was getting
lost at Disney World (you know, the trip when she
charged a manicure to her father's room after running
away from Kristy?) but her story for the party is MUCH
scarier than that!
Nancy is struggling to find a story, but Karen points
out she'll come up with one because she loves to be the
center of attention. Pot. Kettle. Jessi.
Also, Nancy believes a Leprechaun stole her charm
bracelet. And she says she knows for sure because she
found it in her underwear drawer. Silly girl! It wasn't
a Leprechaun! It was totally an Underpants Gnome.
Still, it's not very scary. None of Nancy's stories are
(according to Karen), so she suggests Karen tell a Ben
Brewer story. Ugh. Don't encourage her! Hilariously,
Nancy starts asking all sorts of questions Karen can't
answer.
Nancy wants to know why Karen is so worried about
having a great story, because Pamela isn't the only one
listening. Not to mention it's not a concert. But Karen
doesn't care, she has to be the best anyway. I think
that's her personal mantra.
Borrowing a page from Mallory, Karen insists a true
ghost story will be scarier.
Chapter 7
Nancy leaves and Karen goes downstairs to ask her
mother what she knew about Ben Brewer's ghost. Well,
first she asks Lisa if she remembers being married to
Watson and her mother gets nervous. Given the antics of
'Karen's Birthday', I think I would get nervous too.
Thankfully she's just worried about slandering her
great grandfather in front of her class this time.
Lisa is not amused, insisting that Ben was just a
lonely old man. She tries to tell Karen the stories
were just stories, but Karen demands to know how the
stories got started. Because bratty kids like you make
shit up, Karen. That's how.
Lisa says he was a recluse so people made shit up about
him. Sounds about right to me. And then she says Boo
Boo won't go on the third floor because he's lazy. And
Karen goes all Mulder on her, saying that cats can
sense ghosts. Then she decides they aren't treating
this like srs bznz, so she peace outs to call Kristy.
Chapter 8
The next afternoon Charlie picks Karen up and takes her
to the Big House. And seriously, Charlie, get some
fucking self respect. You're supposed to be trying to
get into college and lose your virginity at seventeen,
not chauffering your sisters around.
They try looking at the library. Not the public
library, but the Watson Brewer library. Watson collects
old books about Stoneybrook. And those things are
fucking expensive so I wouldn't be letting kids touch
them. Then again, I'm the crazy toy collecting lady
that won't let kids touch objects their parents whine
were meant for them, so don't listen to me.
After Karen is told an "E" on the end of "Stoneybrook"
was not a false spelling, they find jack shit until
Kristy stumbles upon a genealogy. But that only has the
bare information...family, marriage, birth, death.
So Karen decides they need to go upstairs to the third
floor and nose around Ben Brewer's bedroom. Now, as
much as I am anti-snooping...I totally would've been
down with that. He's dead. His next of kin hasn't tried
to clean it up and there might be a ghost.
Chapter 9
Kristy yells at Karen's suggestion, acting more like
another seven year old that someone mature enough to
dictate the raising of an entire town's children. But
they need some hard evidence to use to disparage poor
ol' Ben.
They hold hands like a pair of wimps going upstairs.
I'm not trying to be an ass, but I'm so not afraid of
ghosts and I don't see what they could really do to
hurt you. I've seen ghosts before, though, so I guess I
have an advantage that it's not a fear of the unknown.
No...no, I'm not wearing a tinfoil hat. Thanks for
asking.
So apparently the third floor has been shut up more or
less since Ben died. And how big of a house does Watson
have that he can just shut off a whole FLOOR instead of
clean up after a deceased relative? Karen likes the
drama of thinking no one's touched it since Ben's
death, but she just mentioned two paragraphs above that
David Michael had hidden up there recently to play a
trick on her and Kristy.
KRISTY points out the fireplace the ghost supposedly
came down to be able to haunt Ben. Seriously, K-Ron? A
dictater-in-training like you is afraid of a GHOST? But
alas, there's just ashes in the fireplace. And I don't
think it's Ben that's the messy one here, WATSON.
Karen finds a diary kept by Jeremy Brewer, Ben's son.
Kristy scans a few pages and deems it a great find. Our
brilliant narrator is thrilled because diaries have to
be true! And true stories are scarier!
I don't think Mallory should sit for Karen anymore.
Chapter 10
So they did find some information about Ben Brewer. For
starters, he was born on Halloween. I think that would
be awesome, because look at the awesome parties you
could have! Karen thinks this sucks because then you
don't get two parties, but think about it: candy,
awesome decorations, scary movies, costumes. PERFECT
BIRTHDAY!
Apparently Ben throws himself a birthday party every
ten years and only started this tradition after he
died. Wow. I admit, it makes a great story. I'm a
little surprised it's coming from his son, though.
Karen is so scared her teeth are chattering.
She wants to know what happens at the haunted parties
and I guess she's expecting an iternirary or something.
Karen, this is your half crazy, reclusive dead great-
grandfather's ghost, not Martha fucking Stewart.
Further proof that Kristy should not be trusted with
parenting the entire town's children: She tells Karen
that this year is a tenth year. Ben Brewer's birthday
party is about to happen!
Predictably, Karen freaks the fuck out because she's
going to be at the Big House for Halloween weekend and
Halloween is on Saturday! Then she decides she's
excited along with scared.
Unfortunately, she needs more information about Ben.
Why was he haunted? Who haunted him? How did HE become
a ghost himself? (Let's try this again: HE DIED!!!!)
And she realizes that she can make up the detials she
doesn't have, so that means Mallory Pike is less
emotionally mature than a seven year old spoiled brat.
Truth. It hurts.
Karen decides to take the diary home so she can destroy
her eyes trying to read it. She wants more facts so her
story will beat Pamela's.
I hope she gets eyestrain.
Chapter 11
Karen goes home with the diary, thinking of it as the
book with the best story ever in it. I can think of a
major world religion that will disagree with you there,
Karen.
HA! When Karen explains to Andrew a diary is a very
private thing, he wants to know how come she's reading
Jeremy Brewer's diary then. She says it doesn't matter
because "the guy" is dead now, then Lisa climbs on her
for calling her grandfather "the guy." And I agree with
her. At least at Karen's age. When you get my age, then
you get to go "I love so and so, but GOD is she a
bitch!"
Rest in Peace, Grandma.
Lisa wants to know where they got the diary and Karen
explains about Ben Brewer's room and ghostly birthday
parties. Andrew starts crying and doesn't want to go to
the Big House for Halloween. Instead of offering Andrew
the option of staying home, which would serve Karen
right if Lisa switched weekends with Watson, Lisa just
says there's no ghosts. And they will be asleep at
midnight anyway, so kindly STFU.
Karen reacts by whispering: "Yup. Every ten years. A
haunted party. A haunted birthday party. At
midnight.”
Fucking. Brat.
Lisa stops the car and turns around in her seat. When
my mother did that, I knew shit was about to get real.
I think I only made her do that once it scared me so
bad. Karen is sent to her room for fifteen minutes when
they get home. So she cries, because she TOTALLY did
not bring that on herself.
She does her timeout and tries to think about what she
did, but she can only think about Ben Brewer. Um,
that's healthy. But she's proud of herself when she
gets through dinner without mention Ben or Jeremy or
the diary.
Lisa gives Karen a hug and kiss after dinner. She's
glad her mother isn't mad at her anymore for Andrew
getting HER into trouble. How did he get her into
trouble, praytell? By being a crybaby.
No, my right eye doesn't normally twitch, why do you
ask?
Karen keeps singing "Haunted Birthday" to Andrew when
Lisa and Set aren't around. This time he sticks his
tongue out at her. I can't wait until he learns why the
Good Lord gave us a middle finger.
Chapter 12
They make Halloween decorations in class the week
before the big day. I'll admit it...I'm 32 years old
and I still love doing that. Pinterest is my crack from
about this time of year until the first of the year. I
love Halloween. I got excited today thinking in about
fifteenish days I can start making and decorating! :D
(Yes, I'm an annoying person who does two months of
Halloween and two months of Christmas. Blame Matt of X
-Entertaiment and Dinosaur Dracula fame for opening my
eyes up to Halloween starting September first.)
Ricky has decided to be a gas station person for
Halloween. Um, okay. Sure. Karen is still set on being
the ghost of Ben Brewer. Then she realizes that Ricky
and Nancy can come with her and Hannie to Trick or
Treat. And David Michael, Emily Michelle and Andrew.
And Scott Hsu, since Hannie hasn't filed for pretend
divorce yet.
So they need a theme costume! Their first thought is
Peanuts, and I'm surprised Ann knows who they are. But
no one wants to be Charlie Brown. Ricky wants
superheroes, but he's immediately shot down. Karen
decides the Wizard of Oz! And...ick.
Does Ann having a raging boner for that movie or
something? I know some people love it. I am one of the
very few that hate it. But I could probably roll with
it for a Halloween costume.
Karen lets Nancy be Dorothy because she already has a
witch costume, which means letting someone else be the
star. They should dress up as the cast of "Fiddler On
the Roof" instead, because I hear a rousing chorus of
"Wonders of Wonders" coming on right now.
Hannie still wants to be a bride. Gag me. They decide
it's easier to humor her than make her conform. Ricky
will be the Scarecrow, DM the Lion, Scott the Tinman,
Andrew will be Toto and Emily, a munchkin. And...I
would not let people pick my costume for me.
Pamela Harding calls the plan stupid. She must hate
Wizard of Oz too. She and her friends are dressing up
like waitresses and cheerleaders and punk rockers.
Waitresses are cool? I guess if you went retro? Punk
Rockers would be awesome if you were going as Jem, or a
Hologram or a MisFit. I love the outfits on the
original dolls from the 80's!
Chapter 13
Karen is running around singing in three days Halloween
will be here! And, I get excited too. Writing this
snark makes me want to go to Pinterest to start
planning decorations and crafts. I just got a new car
(WOOT!) so Halloween is going to be a budget for the
sake of Christmas. But I will still decorate...just DIY
and dollar store. I hope our church does Trunk R' Treat
this year. Our trick or treaters were sporadic last
year and I get bored, even if sitting outside on
Halloween night is spooky.
And....if you guys ever doubted about my ADD, you are
probably now believers.
Everyone went along with the costume ideas. I think the
idea of being in a big, themed group was fun enough no
one resisted. I wouldn't resist if it was, say, Sailor
Scouts or Harry Potter, but Wizard of Oz, I'm gonna at
least choose my own damn role.
Lisa is stunned Karen expects a full dog costume in
eight days. But unlike Ramona Quimby, who lived in a
world where mothers were not Time Lords, Andrew gets
his Toto costume. Even after stating that he must look
like TOTO, not just any dog.
My mom would've been all "If I'm doing all the work,
Toto will be whatever breed I can pull off." God, I
love my Momma!
Nancy comes over to show off her Dorothy costume which
is perfect right down to the ruby red slippers. Doesn't
anyone EVER tell their kids they have to deal with what
can be realistically done? Stoneybrook is even more
perfect then fucking Mayberry!
Ricky calls when Nancy's over and says he has real
straw for his costume. Then David Michael calls to say
Watson and Liz bought him a lion costume. Um..then why
didn't Watson buy Andrew's Toto costume? Talk about
playing favorites! Does Watson forget Karen and Andrew
exist when they're not where he can see them? Oh wait,
not Karen, she's too damn noisy. Poor Andrew.
Hannie is the last to call, she'll have fake flowers
for her wedding bouquet that will last forever. I hope
she finds them in the attic someday and is all "wtf
seven year old me?"
Chapter 14
On Friday, Ms Colman announces they can change into
their costumes and chaos breaks out. Sounds about
right. Karen admits she's been a loud, annoying kid all
morning because she was excited. I can't say much
because I do that and I'm old enough to be Karen's
mother.
They segregate the boys from girls for changing and Ms
Colman goes out into the hall. I appreciate that, but
we used to change in the girls bathroom at my school if
we didn't just wear the costume to class. (I always
did.)
The kids get ready and Hannie refuses to get near Karen
because she might get green makeup on her wedding
dress. Ick. I get not wanting to mess your costume up,
but I'm still kinda creeped out by the emotional
investment a seven year old has in a playground
marriage. I don't think I put that much into real
relationships the first half of my twenties!
Nancy waits until changing time is almost over before
putting on her ruby slippers. They'll show Pamela! And
yeah, their costumes sound a bit more fun than a
airline stewardess (Pamela), a punk rocker (Jannie) and
some random grown up Karen cannot define (Leslie.) And
wow...airline stewardess, haven't seen that in ages.
Oh, Leslie is a waitress. Karen feels babyish until she
sees the other girl's costumes and then the boys.
Pamela decides to point out there's no bride in the
Wizard of Oz. And...yeah. Don't let Hannie hear that or
she might want to play 'slap a bitch' as the first
party game.
They eat, drink and make merry. Karen wants to tell her
story last because she wants a chance to outshine all
of the other stories. Lovely.
Chapter 15
Karen admits she couldn't read most of Jeremy's diary,
so she made some shit up to fill in the plot holes.
That's depressing that she has a brighter future as a
writer than Mallory.
Ricky tells the walking eyeballs story, and Natalie
almost throws up. Five others tell stories, including
Pamela. Karen says her story was stupid, but adds no
details. Convieniant.
So Karen gets up and talks about how they have a ghost
in her house. Oh...here we go. Five hours of family
geneaology later, Pamela whispers that the story is
boring. So far...yeah, it is. But then Ben gets visited
by a ghost while eating dandelions.
Did she REALLY have to tell her classmates that Great
Grandpa Ben used to graze on the front lawn? I was
always taught there were some things you kept in the
family. This seems like one of them to me.
The ghosts tell Ben he's going to haunt him for the
rest of his life. Yawn. And then she goes into the
birthday parties, adding a clock that never works will
chime every hour until midnight on Halloween. Pamela
looks 'terrified' but I like to think she's suffering
second hand embarrasment over Karen telling the class
her great-grandfather cut the lawn his teeth.
Karen's story is cut short by the bell going off.
Wow..miracles DO happen!
Chapter 16
They got to the Big House, and Lisa reminds Andrew they
talked about Karen's ghost story, so yes, he has to go.
If Karen is able to feel remorse, she doesn't show us
that emotion at this time.
The next day, though, Andrew is all smiles. So are all
the kids. Hell, I get like that too when I get to dress
up for Halloween! They end up getting dressed at two-
thirty and..isn't that kind of early? Are you telling
me K-Ron the Supreme Babysitter can't come up with a
few Halloween activites to keep her siblings from
ringing doorbells while people are eating lunch?
At quarter to four, they get ready to go. Assuming
Watson and Liz and the Papadakis' picture taking spree
lasted fifteen minutes, that means the kids are out at
four o' clock. In our neighborhood, you would get shot
for that.
We expanded from a family oriented dead end street to a
small, family oriented subdivision about fifteen years
ago. There's a strict Halloween decorum...you get your
running around done before sunset so you aren't driving
down the street unless you're coming or going to work
or having an emergency. Plus it's signalled who gives
out candy or not by porch lights.
They start trick or treating and Ricky sings that
obnoxious 'smell my feet' song. Kristy makes him stop,
even though Ricky claims getting candy is proof it
works. They keep going and get two candy bars a piece
at one place because Emily Michelle is cute.
Karen decides to go to Mrs Porter's house and then is
disappointed when she's not home. Well, if she WAS
really a witch, Karen, it's like the biggest day on the
Pagan calendar. Pick up a damn encyclopedia.
Chapter 17
Karen is sitting in her room counting her candy out.
She seems to pour it right from the bag and none of the
adults look at it. She doesn't eat any because her
parents said no candy before dinner. No word of
checking it over to make sure there's no poision or
razor blades in it. Are they THAT desperate to get rid
of Karen?
Oh wait, it's Stoneberry...where it's always the 1950's
and kids really CAN do anything!
I always used to count my candy too. Then make an
inventory. It was part OCD and it was also self
preservation...my Dad could not be trusted not to
purlion my Halloween or Easter candy. Too bad he didn't
get diagnosed with Diabetes until I was fifteen. I
still hide my special chocolate stash anyway.
Karen gets super excited about Ben Brewer's haunted
birthday party and starts getting all jumpy. I do that
at Halloween too...but I'm not worried about ghosts.
Ghosts can't kill you. Unlike, say, Michael Meyers.
At the dinner tabe, she tries to get everyone's
attention about Ben Brewers birthday party and is
pretty much ignored. Trick or treaters are coming, so
I'm not sure why Karen and her friends went so damn
early. Kristy is star eyed because she went to a dance
the night before with Bart. That is one hell of a long
afterglow.
She decides she must protect herself from the ghosts
tonight. And...either you're scared of Ben and his
ghost buddies or you're not, Karen.
Chapter 18
Karen stays awake in bed, listening, waiting and
snitching candy. See, this is exactly why my mother
didn't let me keep the candy in my room. I have no
restriant with sugar. I've had less than ten drinks in
my entire life, but sugar...I'm doomed.
She wonders if she should get up to brush her teeth
after each piece and decides not to because she might
run into a ghost. A better reason is that it's a sure
way to get caught. No kids cares about oral hygiene
that much.
At some point Karen falls asleep and wakes up at
exactly midnight. She smells cake baking and hears
talking. She also hears horns and party favors popping.
She's too scared to move and ends up falling asleep
again, because that's a natural reaction to fear.
She's surprised to be alive the next morning and...how
can a ghost kill you other than frighten you to death?
It's also a surprise that Jeremy Brewer's diary is on
her bureau after she told Watson to take it back to
Ben's room. And it's open to two pages stuck together
that tell the real story of Ben Brewer.
In short, Ben was best friends with Edward Porter as a
child, who may or may not be related to Mrs Porter.
They fight right before Ben's tenth birthday and he
tells Edward he can't come to the party. Right after
that, Edward disappears and is suspected to have
drowned. Wow, maybe Ben REALLY didn't want Eddie to
show up!
Anyway, when he got older Ben told his son the ghost
that haunted him was named Edward and always wet. He
wanted a birthday party, and he told Ben he would make
him a ghost when he died to make sure he got it. So he
did. And he makes Ben do it every two years.
And...that's a much better story than Karen told at the
class party! Karen doesn't think about that,
thankfully. Instead she decides to take the diary back
upstairs and check for signs of a birthday party.
Chapters 19
Karen goes to the third floor and is disappointed that
there aren't balloons and party hats strewn about. How
does a ghost wear a party hat? Though I guess if one
can flush a toliet... (We had a ghost that would flush
the toliets in our house one by one, but only when my
parents and I were together, making it very clear it
wasn't one of us. My Mom dubbed him "The Phantom
Flusher.")
She notices the clock is missing and just about has a
heart attack. The part in her story about the clock
working was just made up! But now it must be true!
Annnnd...she and Mallory Pike are even once again in
their writing skills. Mallory might even be a pinch
ahead since she doesn't believe the stories she tells
are going to come true.
Karen screams and runs back downstairs, all the way to
the kitchen. She tells Watson, Liz and Nannie about the
party and they don't even remember her mentioning it
the previous day. I wouldn't pay attention to what she
said either, but they ARE her parents!
Apparently Elizabeth woke up in the middle of the night
and baked a cake to celebrate Emily learning to count
to ten. Wow, they really celebrate the milestones! But
baking a cake at MIDNIGHT? Shit, I would check my email
or read or listen to the radio or watch TV.
Big kids making mischief was the source of the noise
and Watson decided to have the clock fixed. But no one
could explain the diary being in there and it seems
likely even Sam didn't do it.
Spookeh.
Chapter 20
Hannie, Nancy, and Karen get together that afternoon,
but they don't want to eat candy because they're sick
of it already. Especially Karen, whose blood can pass
for syrup after snitching on it all night.
They try to decide what movie they should do costumes
from next year. And...there's beating a dead horse
there, guys. I can understand doing it for a convention
year after year, but I don't see the kids doing that
before they're old enough to drive.
Karen wonders how Pamela's Halloween went and if she
was too grown up to trick or treat. She decides next
year to find her house and really make her smell her
feet. Charming.
She tells them the real story of Ben Brewer and of
course they were terrified. They can't figure out if
the party happened or not, how the diary got into her
room, if Mrs. Porter is related to Edward Porter. So
many questions. Karen decides Ben must've wanted her to
know the truth about what happened to him, but then the
next sentence says she doesn't know if she has ghosts
in hr house or not. (After snotting that she's glad
Natalie isn't there because she'd start crying and
snarking. A hearty 'fuck you' to the young miss from
Conneticut.)
The next party, Karen will be seventeen years old. And
that scares me so very much more than Ben Brewer
getting together with a few fellow ghosties and getting
his groove beyond the grave on.
Thank God for the Stoneybrook time warp.
Baby Sitters Little Sister #12
Snarker's note: This snark is dedicated to Robin
Williams. The world got a little less funny with his
loss, and the best way to honor his memory is to
continue his work of making people laugh and think and
escape through great stories.
Cover Snark: Nothing too snark worthy, to be honest.
Karen is sitting in her bed at night sans glasses
looking terrified. If I thought ghosts were coming, I'd
want my glasses or contacts, just sayin'. She's also
got her sack of Halloween candy in bed with her and my
mother would never have let me do that. I could pig out
on Halloween night and on Easter too, but the candy
stayed in the kitchen or living room. I do like the
patch quilt on her bed, which hilariously looks like
one I'm working on that is upcycled from old, worn out
clothing. Real, live millionare indeed.
Chapter 1
The story opens with Karen whining to Kristy that she
doesn't want to go to sleep. Then in the next breath
she tells us you have to listen to your baby sitters
like you do your parents or police officers. Um..then
why are you NOT listening?
Kristy is concerned that four Halloween stories before
bed might keep Karen from being able to sleep, but
Karen is way scarier than ghosts or witches, so I'm
surprised that Kristy herself can sleep. Karen tries to
bluster about her bravery, then asks for the door to be
left open a crack. Even when I was her age, I found the
door being open a crack more stressing than having it
closed. I'm strange.
So Halloween is coming, but I'm not sure how it has any
meaning anymore since it seems to happen every six
weeks in Stoneybrook. And that gives Karen a chance to
tell us about Ben Brewer and Morbidda Destiny. You know
what the scary part is? No, not the ghost and witch
thing. That this little brat slanders her great-
grandfather and next door neighbor to every ear willing
to listen.
She spies on Mrs. Porter again, but figures she's
having a pizza and Netflix night since her broom is on
the front porch. Then she hears a creak and thinks it's
Ben Brewer. She tells him he can't scare her, then for
reasons I cannot come up with, she calls him "Honey."
That sounds like a healthy family dynamic!
Karen checks Mrs. Porter's house because she's a pain
in the ass like that and sees the porch light is off.
GASP! She must be off haunting! Or, you know, went to
bed.
She starts thinking about her two families then, so we
have an awkward seguay into....
Chapter 2
Two-two time. I'm skimming. I have a near photographic
memory so reading the same information over and over
again just pisses me off.
'Boo Boo scratches if you are not careful.' Uh, no. He
scratches if you're a little grabby brat with him. Big
difference.
Chapter 3
The next morning Karen, Andrew and David Michael start
planning their Halloween costumes. Emily Michelle
follows them into the play room only for DM to tell her
Halloween is just for the big kids. Yes, it is. And you
are NOT a big kid yet either, DM.
Karen tells the boys to let Emily play with the toys,
but DM is still acting offended by her mere prescence.
Apparently Watson buys costumes he thinks the kids will
like, and judging by the things Karen mentions, they
should have the right stuff to be the Village People.
David Michael wants to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
and I almost faint from Ann using a relevant piece of
pop culture. I also laugh that DM thinks Elizabeth can
make him a TMNT costume.
Unsurprisingly, Karen is a witch every year. Though I
think as many times as Halloween comes up in this
series, this is the only time she's a witch. You tried,
Ghosties. You tried.
Emily puts on a hat, high heels, a feather boa and a
tutu. She looks so adorable that her siblings can't
help but laugh. And then they have a lightbulb moment.
Taking Emily Michelle trick or treating with them might
mean more candy for them! Nice to know their priorties
are in order.
Karen falters a moment, no doubt not wanting to share
the spotlight, but then agrees they should dress her up
like a princes. So THEY get more candy. I love how pure
and kind children are, don't you?
Chapter 4
Karen goes over to the Papadakises to talk about
Halloween costumes. Hannie is going to wear her
mother's wedding dress, which she calls HER wedding
dress now by the way, from when she married Scott Hsu.
They try to come up with a costume for Karen. She wants
to be Ben Brewer, but Hannie points out no one is going
to KNOW that she's Ben Brewer and not a regular ghost.
Karen snaps SHE will know, and Hannie asks for the Ben
Brewer story again to soothe her ego.
She once again states that he was "crazy as anything"
and I'm not quite sure what that means, so my headcanon
is now that it's Karen's way of saying he was batshit
crazy. He never left the house when he was old and a
ghost began to haunt him. But when Hannie asks why,
Karen doesn't know. Nor does she know HOW Ben Brewer
himself became a ghost.
Um, he died? That's usually how it works, isn't it?
Chapter 5
Ms Colman is the best teacher EVAR because she never
makes you behave! Well, Karen says it's because she
hardly ever yells and doesn't make you feel stupid, but
we know that's what she really meant.
If you guessed that Ms Colman is mentioned because a
surprising announcement is forthcoming, pat yourself on
the back. Or take a shot of whiskey. You'll need it.
Because merely looking at Pamela makes Karen to stick
her tongue out. But she knows she has to act like other
second graders.
So, the big shocker is that the class is having a
Halloween party. Um...so did my class every farking
year. Even when I was in Catholic school we still had a
Halloween party! Complete with a costume parade, games,
snacks, and crafts. The only difference is Ms Colman is
letting them tell ghost stories and that could go
downhill very fast. Every class has that one student
that wants to shock the others.
Ricky proves my point, wanting to tell a story about
some guy's eyeballs falling out and walking around by
themselves. Karen already knows her story, of course.
If you're guessing it's about Ben Brewer, you're right.
And soon she gets into a pissing match with Pamela over
whose story will be better.
Ugh...Karen, not everything is a damn fucking contest!
Chapter 6
Nancy and Karen play with Emily Junior after school and
test out their scary stories on each other. Karen says
the scariest thing that happened to her was getting
lost at Disney World (you know, the trip when she
charged a manicure to her father's room after running
away from Kristy?) but her story for the party is MUCH
scarier than that!
Nancy is struggling to find a story, but Karen points
out she'll come up with one because she loves to be the
center of attention. Pot. Kettle. Jessi.
Also, Nancy believes a Leprechaun stole her charm
bracelet. And she says she knows for sure because she
found it in her underwear drawer. Silly girl! It wasn't
a Leprechaun! It was totally an Underpants Gnome.
Still, it's not very scary. None of Nancy's stories are
(according to Karen), so she suggests Karen tell a Ben
Brewer story. Ugh. Don't encourage her! Hilariously,
Nancy starts asking all sorts of questions Karen can't
answer.
Nancy wants to know why Karen is so worried about
having a great story, because Pamela isn't the only one
listening. Not to mention it's not a concert. But Karen
doesn't care, she has to be the best anyway. I think
that's her personal mantra.
Borrowing a page from Mallory, Karen insists a true
ghost story will be scarier.
Chapter 7
Nancy leaves and Karen goes downstairs to ask her
mother what she knew about Ben Brewer's ghost. Well,
first she asks Lisa if she remembers being married to
Watson and her mother gets nervous. Given the antics of
'Karen's Birthday', I think I would get nervous too.
Thankfully she's just worried about slandering her
great grandfather in front of her class this time.
Lisa is not amused, insisting that Ben was just a
lonely old man. She tries to tell Karen the stories
were just stories, but Karen demands to know how the
stories got started. Because bratty kids like you make
shit up, Karen. That's how.
Lisa says he was a recluse so people made shit up about
him. Sounds about right to me. And then she says Boo
Boo won't go on the third floor because he's lazy. And
Karen goes all Mulder on her, saying that cats can
sense ghosts. Then she decides they aren't treating
this like srs bznz, so she peace outs to call Kristy.
Chapter 8
The next afternoon Charlie picks Karen up and takes her
to the Big House. And seriously, Charlie, get some
fucking self respect. You're supposed to be trying to
get into college and lose your virginity at seventeen,
not chauffering your sisters around.
They try looking at the library. Not the public
library, but the Watson Brewer library. Watson collects
old books about Stoneybrook. And those things are
fucking expensive so I wouldn't be letting kids touch
them. Then again, I'm the crazy toy collecting lady
that won't let kids touch objects their parents whine
were meant for them, so don't listen to me.
After Karen is told an "E" on the end of "Stoneybrook"
was not a false spelling, they find jack shit until
Kristy stumbles upon a genealogy. But that only has the
bare information...family, marriage, birth, death.
So Karen decides they need to go upstairs to the third
floor and nose around Ben Brewer's bedroom. Now, as
much as I am anti-snooping...I totally would've been
down with that. He's dead. His next of kin hasn't tried
to clean it up and there might be a ghost.
Chapter 9
Kristy yells at Karen's suggestion, acting more like
another seven year old that someone mature enough to
dictate the raising of an entire town's children. But
they need some hard evidence to use to disparage poor
ol' Ben.
They hold hands like a pair of wimps going upstairs.
I'm not trying to be an ass, but I'm so not afraid of
ghosts and I don't see what they could really do to
hurt you. I've seen ghosts before, though, so I guess I
have an advantage that it's not a fear of the unknown.
No...no, I'm not wearing a tinfoil hat. Thanks for
asking.
So apparently the third floor has been shut up more or
less since Ben died. And how big of a house does Watson
have that he can just shut off a whole FLOOR instead of
clean up after a deceased relative? Karen likes the
drama of thinking no one's touched it since Ben's
death, but she just mentioned two paragraphs above that
David Michael had hidden up there recently to play a
trick on her and Kristy.
KRISTY points out the fireplace the ghost supposedly
came down to be able to haunt Ben. Seriously, K-Ron? A
dictater-in-training like you is afraid of a GHOST? But
alas, there's just ashes in the fireplace. And I don't
think it's Ben that's the messy one here, WATSON.
Karen finds a diary kept by Jeremy Brewer, Ben's son.
Kristy scans a few pages and deems it a great find. Our
brilliant narrator is thrilled because diaries have to
be true! And true stories are scarier!
I don't think Mallory should sit for Karen anymore.
Chapter 10
So they did find some information about Ben Brewer. For
starters, he was born on Halloween. I think that would
be awesome, because look at the awesome parties you
could have! Karen thinks this sucks because then you
don't get two parties, but think about it: candy,
awesome decorations, scary movies, costumes. PERFECT
BIRTHDAY!
Apparently Ben throws himself a birthday party every
ten years and only started this tradition after he
died. Wow. I admit, it makes a great story. I'm a
little surprised it's coming from his son, though.
Karen is so scared her teeth are chattering.
She wants to know what happens at the haunted parties
and I guess she's expecting an iternirary or something.
Karen, this is your half crazy, reclusive dead great-
grandfather's ghost, not Martha fucking Stewart.
Further proof that Kristy should not be trusted with
parenting the entire town's children: She tells Karen
that this year is a tenth year. Ben Brewer's birthday
party is about to happen!
Predictably, Karen freaks the fuck out because she's
going to be at the Big House for Halloween weekend and
Halloween is on Saturday! Then she decides she's
excited along with scared.
Unfortunately, she needs more information about Ben.
Why was he haunted? Who haunted him? How did HE become
a ghost himself? (Let's try this again: HE DIED!!!!)
And she realizes that she can make up the detials she
doesn't have, so that means Mallory Pike is less
emotionally mature than a seven year old spoiled brat.
Truth. It hurts.
Karen decides to take the diary home so she can destroy
her eyes trying to read it. She wants more facts so her
story will beat Pamela's.
I hope she gets eyestrain.
Chapter 11
Karen goes home with the diary, thinking of it as the
book with the best story ever in it. I can think of a
major world religion that will disagree with you there,
Karen.
HA! When Karen explains to Andrew a diary is a very
private thing, he wants to know how come she's reading
Jeremy Brewer's diary then. She says it doesn't matter
because "the guy" is dead now, then Lisa climbs on her
for calling her grandfather "the guy." And I agree with
her. At least at Karen's age. When you get my age, then
you get to go "I love so and so, but GOD is she a
bitch!"
Rest in Peace, Grandma.
Lisa wants to know where they got the diary and Karen
explains about Ben Brewer's room and ghostly birthday
parties. Andrew starts crying and doesn't want to go to
the Big House for Halloween. Instead of offering Andrew
the option of staying home, which would serve Karen
right if Lisa switched weekends with Watson, Lisa just
says there's no ghosts. And they will be asleep at
midnight anyway, so kindly STFU.
Karen reacts by whispering: "Yup. Every ten years. A
haunted party. A haunted birthday party. At
midnight.”
Fucking. Brat.
Lisa stops the car and turns around in her seat. When
my mother did that, I knew shit was about to get real.
I think I only made her do that once it scared me so
bad. Karen is sent to her room for fifteen minutes when
they get home. So she cries, because she TOTALLY did
not bring that on herself.
She does her timeout and tries to think about what she
did, but she can only think about Ben Brewer. Um,
that's healthy. But she's proud of herself when she
gets through dinner without mention Ben or Jeremy or
the diary.
Lisa gives Karen a hug and kiss after dinner. She's
glad her mother isn't mad at her anymore for Andrew
getting HER into trouble. How did he get her into
trouble, praytell? By being a crybaby.
No, my right eye doesn't normally twitch, why do you
ask?
Karen keeps singing "Haunted Birthday" to Andrew when
Lisa and Set aren't around. This time he sticks his
tongue out at her. I can't wait until he learns why the
Good Lord gave us a middle finger.
Chapter 12
They make Halloween decorations in class the week
before the big day. I'll admit it...I'm 32 years old
and I still love doing that. Pinterest is my crack from
about this time of year until the first of the year. I
love Halloween. I got excited today thinking in about
fifteenish days I can start making and decorating! :D
(Yes, I'm an annoying person who does two months of
Halloween and two months of Christmas. Blame Matt of X
-Entertaiment and Dinosaur Dracula fame for opening my
eyes up to Halloween starting September first.)
Ricky has decided to be a gas station person for
Halloween. Um, okay. Sure. Karen is still set on being
the ghost of Ben Brewer. Then she realizes that Ricky
and Nancy can come with her and Hannie to Trick or
Treat. And David Michael, Emily Michelle and Andrew.
And Scott Hsu, since Hannie hasn't filed for pretend
divorce yet.
So they need a theme costume! Their first thought is
Peanuts, and I'm surprised Ann knows who they are. But
no one wants to be Charlie Brown. Ricky wants
superheroes, but he's immediately shot down. Karen
decides the Wizard of Oz! And...ick.
Does Ann having a raging boner for that movie or
something? I know some people love it. I am one of the
very few that hate it. But I could probably roll with
it for a Halloween costume.
Karen lets Nancy be Dorothy because she already has a
witch costume, which means letting someone else be the
star. They should dress up as the cast of "Fiddler On
the Roof" instead, because I hear a rousing chorus of
"Wonders of Wonders" coming on right now.
Hannie still wants to be a bride. Gag me. They decide
it's easier to humor her than make her conform. Ricky
will be the Scarecrow, DM the Lion, Scott the Tinman,
Andrew will be Toto and Emily, a munchkin. And...I
would not let people pick my costume for me.
Pamela Harding calls the plan stupid. She must hate
Wizard of Oz too. She and her friends are dressing up
like waitresses and cheerleaders and punk rockers.
Waitresses are cool? I guess if you went retro? Punk
Rockers would be awesome if you were going as Jem, or a
Hologram or a MisFit. I love the outfits on the
original dolls from the 80's!
Chapter 13
Karen is running around singing in three days Halloween
will be here! And, I get excited too. Writing this
snark makes me want to go to Pinterest to start
planning decorations and crafts. I just got a new car
(WOOT!) so Halloween is going to be a budget for the
sake of Christmas. But I will still decorate...just DIY
and dollar store. I hope our church does Trunk R' Treat
this year. Our trick or treaters were sporadic last
year and I get bored, even if sitting outside on
Halloween night is spooky.
And....if you guys ever doubted about my ADD, you are
probably now believers.
Everyone went along with the costume ideas. I think the
idea of being in a big, themed group was fun enough no
one resisted. I wouldn't resist if it was, say, Sailor
Scouts or Harry Potter, but Wizard of Oz, I'm gonna at
least choose my own damn role.
Lisa is stunned Karen expects a full dog costume in
eight days. But unlike Ramona Quimby, who lived in a
world where mothers were not Time Lords, Andrew gets
his Toto costume. Even after stating that he must look
like TOTO, not just any dog.
My mom would've been all "If I'm doing all the work,
Toto will be whatever breed I can pull off." God, I
love my Momma!
Nancy comes over to show off her Dorothy costume which
is perfect right down to the ruby red slippers. Doesn't
anyone EVER tell their kids they have to deal with what
can be realistically done? Stoneybrook is even more
perfect then fucking Mayberry!
Ricky calls when Nancy's over and says he has real
straw for his costume. Then David Michael calls to say
Watson and Liz bought him a lion costume. Um..then why
didn't Watson buy Andrew's Toto costume? Talk about
playing favorites! Does Watson forget Karen and Andrew
exist when they're not where he can see them? Oh wait,
not Karen, she's too damn noisy. Poor Andrew.
Hannie is the last to call, she'll have fake flowers
for her wedding bouquet that will last forever. I hope
she finds them in the attic someday and is all "wtf
seven year old me?"
Chapter 14
On Friday, Ms Colman announces they can change into
their costumes and chaos breaks out. Sounds about
right. Karen admits she's been a loud, annoying kid all
morning because she was excited. I can't say much
because I do that and I'm old enough to be Karen's
mother.
They segregate the boys from girls for changing and Ms
Colman goes out into the hall. I appreciate that, but
we used to change in the girls bathroom at my school if
we didn't just wear the costume to class. (I always
did.)
The kids get ready and Hannie refuses to get near Karen
because she might get green makeup on her wedding
dress. Ick. I get not wanting to mess your costume up,
but I'm still kinda creeped out by the emotional
investment a seven year old has in a playground
marriage. I don't think I put that much into real
relationships the first half of my twenties!
Nancy waits until changing time is almost over before
putting on her ruby slippers. They'll show Pamela! And
yeah, their costumes sound a bit more fun than a
airline stewardess (Pamela), a punk rocker (Jannie) and
some random grown up Karen cannot define (Leslie.) And
wow...airline stewardess, haven't seen that in ages.
Oh, Leslie is a waitress. Karen feels babyish until she
sees the other girl's costumes and then the boys.
Pamela decides to point out there's no bride in the
Wizard of Oz. And...yeah. Don't let Hannie hear that or
she might want to play 'slap a bitch' as the first
party game.
They eat, drink and make merry. Karen wants to tell her
story last because she wants a chance to outshine all
of the other stories. Lovely.
Chapter 15
Karen admits she couldn't read most of Jeremy's diary,
so she made some shit up to fill in the plot holes.
That's depressing that she has a brighter future as a
writer than Mallory.
Ricky tells the walking eyeballs story, and Natalie
almost throws up. Five others tell stories, including
Pamela. Karen says her story was stupid, but adds no
details. Convieniant.
So Karen gets up and talks about how they have a ghost
in her house. Oh...here we go. Five hours of family
geneaology later, Pamela whispers that the story is
boring. So far...yeah, it is. But then Ben gets visited
by a ghost while eating dandelions.
Did she REALLY have to tell her classmates that Great
Grandpa Ben used to graze on the front lawn? I was
always taught there were some things you kept in the
family. This seems like one of them to me.
The ghosts tell Ben he's going to haunt him for the
rest of his life. Yawn. And then she goes into the
birthday parties, adding a clock that never works will
chime every hour until midnight on Halloween. Pamela
looks 'terrified' but I like to think she's suffering
second hand embarrasment over Karen telling the class
her great-grandfather cut the lawn his teeth.
Karen's story is cut short by the bell going off.
Wow..miracles DO happen!
Chapter 16
They got to the Big House, and Lisa reminds Andrew they
talked about Karen's ghost story, so yes, he has to go.
If Karen is able to feel remorse, she doesn't show us
that emotion at this time.
The next day, though, Andrew is all smiles. So are all
the kids. Hell, I get like that too when I get to dress
up for Halloween! They end up getting dressed at two-
thirty and..isn't that kind of early? Are you telling
me K-Ron the Supreme Babysitter can't come up with a
few Halloween activites to keep her siblings from
ringing doorbells while people are eating lunch?
At quarter to four, they get ready to go. Assuming
Watson and Liz and the Papadakis' picture taking spree
lasted fifteen minutes, that means the kids are out at
four o' clock. In our neighborhood, you would get shot
for that.
We expanded from a family oriented dead end street to a
small, family oriented subdivision about fifteen years
ago. There's a strict Halloween decorum...you get your
running around done before sunset so you aren't driving
down the street unless you're coming or going to work
or having an emergency. Plus it's signalled who gives
out candy or not by porch lights.
They start trick or treating and Ricky sings that
obnoxious 'smell my feet' song. Kristy makes him stop,
even though Ricky claims getting candy is proof it
works. They keep going and get two candy bars a piece
at one place because Emily Michelle is cute.
Karen decides to go to Mrs Porter's house and then is
disappointed when she's not home. Well, if she WAS
really a witch, Karen, it's like the biggest day on the
Pagan calendar. Pick up a damn encyclopedia.
Chapter 17
Karen is sitting in her room counting her candy out.
She seems to pour it right from the bag and none of the
adults look at it. She doesn't eat any because her
parents said no candy before dinner. No word of
checking it over to make sure there's no poision or
razor blades in it. Are they THAT desperate to get rid
of Karen?
Oh wait, it's Stoneberry...where it's always the 1950's
and kids really CAN do anything!
I always used to count my candy too. Then make an
inventory. It was part OCD and it was also self
preservation...my Dad could not be trusted not to
purlion my Halloween or Easter candy. Too bad he didn't
get diagnosed with Diabetes until I was fifteen. I
still hide my special chocolate stash anyway.
Karen gets super excited about Ben Brewer's haunted
birthday party and starts getting all jumpy. I do that
at Halloween too...but I'm not worried about ghosts.
Ghosts can't kill you. Unlike, say, Michael Meyers.
At the dinner tabe, she tries to get everyone's
attention about Ben Brewers birthday party and is
pretty much ignored. Trick or treaters are coming, so
I'm not sure why Karen and her friends went so damn
early. Kristy is star eyed because she went to a dance
the night before with Bart. That is one hell of a long
afterglow.
She decides she must protect herself from the ghosts
tonight. And...either you're scared of Ben and his
ghost buddies or you're not, Karen.
Chapter 18
Karen stays awake in bed, listening, waiting and
snitching candy. See, this is exactly why my mother
didn't let me keep the candy in my room. I have no
restriant with sugar. I've had less than ten drinks in
my entire life, but sugar...I'm doomed.
She wonders if she should get up to brush her teeth
after each piece and decides not to because she might
run into a ghost. A better reason is that it's a sure
way to get caught. No kids cares about oral hygiene
that much.
At some point Karen falls asleep and wakes up at
exactly midnight. She smells cake baking and hears
talking. She also hears horns and party favors popping.
She's too scared to move and ends up falling asleep
again, because that's a natural reaction to fear.
She's surprised to be alive the next morning and...how
can a ghost kill you other than frighten you to death?
It's also a surprise that Jeremy Brewer's diary is on
her bureau after she told Watson to take it back to
Ben's room. And it's open to two pages stuck together
that tell the real story of Ben Brewer.
In short, Ben was best friends with Edward Porter as a
child, who may or may not be related to Mrs Porter.
They fight right before Ben's tenth birthday and he
tells Edward he can't come to the party. Right after
that, Edward disappears and is suspected to have
drowned. Wow, maybe Ben REALLY didn't want Eddie to
show up!
Anyway, when he got older Ben told his son the ghost
that haunted him was named Edward and always wet. He
wanted a birthday party, and he told Ben he would make
him a ghost when he died to make sure he got it. So he
did. And he makes Ben do it every two years.
And...that's a much better story than Karen told at the
class party! Karen doesn't think about that,
thankfully. Instead she decides to take the diary back
upstairs and check for signs of a birthday party.
Chapters 19
Karen goes to the third floor and is disappointed that
there aren't balloons and party hats strewn about. How
does a ghost wear a party hat? Though I guess if one
can flush a toliet... (We had a ghost that would flush
the toliets in our house one by one, but only when my
parents and I were together, making it very clear it
wasn't one of us. My Mom dubbed him "The Phantom
Flusher.")
She notices the clock is missing and just about has a
heart attack. The part in her story about the clock
working was just made up! But now it must be true!
Annnnd...she and Mallory Pike are even once again in
their writing skills. Mallory might even be a pinch
ahead since she doesn't believe the stories she tells
are going to come true.
Karen screams and runs back downstairs, all the way to
the kitchen. She tells Watson, Liz and Nannie about the
party and they don't even remember her mentioning it
the previous day. I wouldn't pay attention to what she
said either, but they ARE her parents!
Apparently Elizabeth woke up in the middle of the night
and baked a cake to celebrate Emily learning to count
to ten. Wow, they really celebrate the milestones! But
baking a cake at MIDNIGHT? Shit, I would check my email
or read or listen to the radio or watch TV.
Big kids making mischief was the source of the noise
and Watson decided to have the clock fixed. But no one
could explain the diary being in there and it seems
likely even Sam didn't do it.
Spookeh.
Chapter 20
Hannie, Nancy, and Karen get together that afternoon,
but they don't want to eat candy because they're sick
of it already. Especially Karen, whose blood can pass
for syrup after snitching on it all night.
They try to decide what movie they should do costumes
from next year. And...there's beating a dead horse
there, guys. I can understand doing it for a convention
year after year, but I don't see the kids doing that
before they're old enough to drive.
Karen wonders how Pamela's Halloween went and if she
was too grown up to trick or treat. She decides next
year to find her house and really make her smell her
feet. Charming.
She tells them the real story of Ben Brewer and of
course they were terrified. They can't figure out if
the party happened or not, how the diary got into her
room, if Mrs. Porter is related to Edward Porter. So
many questions. Karen decides Ben must've wanted her to
know the truth about what happened to him, but then the
next sentence says she doesn't know if she has ghosts
in hr house or not. (After snotting that she's glad
Natalie isn't there because she'd start crying and
snarking. A hearty 'fuck you' to the young miss from
Conneticut.)
The next party, Karen will be seventeen years old. And
that scares me so very much more than Ben Brewer
getting together with a few fellow ghosties and getting
his groove beyond the grave on.
Thank God for the Stoneybrook time warp.