Friends Forever #1: Kristy's Big News Part 1
No I didn’t forget about this project, I promise. I just have a busy life but now I’m back with Friends Forever #1: Kristy’s Big News.
We’ll start off with the cover. Kristy actually looks 13 in it, so we have that. The sad part is that Hodges doesn’t draw them anymore. The covers in this series are far less snarkable than the covers in the main series. Also, Kristy looks like she’s trying to crush the flowers. Maybe its because she’s aware that she’s a) stuck in a timewarp and has been 13 for over a decade and b) that she’s surrounded by PINK!
Okay we all know its neither of those, because of the subject matter of the book. Anyway, speaking of, lets hop to shall we?
Chapter One
My stepfather, Watson Brewer, a mild-mannered millionaire, raised his fork and tapped his water glass.
That is the first line of the book. That Watson is a millionaire. That is very important information. Everyone must know that Watson is a millionaire. You there in the corner! Did you know Watson is a millionaire? You did. Okay. Carry on!
Anyway, Kristy says that normally no one would’ve noticed the sound of Watson tapping his water glass as their family is very large and vocal. Plus its the first dinner they’ve all had since practically the beginning of summer. But since its Watson, tapping his fork against a glass is the equivalent of someone yelling BE QUIET at the top of their lungs or Kristy giving someone the Look. It makes you sit up and pay attention.
Why did Watson want everyone’s attention? Are they adopting another baby? Are they taking in another seeing eye dog puppy? Are the parents going to yet another estate sale for another bird bath? No. Watson just wants to toast the family and the beginning of the new school year which will be starting soon. After the toast, everyone resumes their chatter and Kristy begins thinking about her family. Meaning we get the obligatory introduction paragraphs.
Skimming it: we have Kristy’s family history, Edie meets Watson, they get married. Boom! Mansion. Boom! Step-siblings. Boom! Little Vietnamese baby meant to bring the family… closer… together? Also, there’s a ghost.
And because it’s a book where Patrick actually exists, Kristy compares him a little to Watson. Apparently Patrick was always moving. Sometimes I think that his restlessness was one of the reasons he left us: he picked us up and then put us down, and walked onto something new. I can’t snark that guys. I’m sorry. Its one of the rare things I have trouble snarking, and that’s Kristy’s feelings about her dad walking out on the family.
In contrast to Patrick, Watson is thoughtful, serious, and a CEO. He also likes to garden. At that moment, Watson’s head is bent as he listens to something Hellbeast Karen is telling him. Nannie is praising Emily Michelle for successfully getting mashed potatoes to her mouth. Andrew is playing with his food the way Charlie taught him. Charlie is also playing with his food. Sam and David Michael are talking about the World Series. It’s a perfect family tableau.
Until the phone rang.
Watson says to let the machine get it but Elizabeth gets up and takes the call anyway. While Elizabeth is gone, Kristy jumps in on Sam and David Michael’s conversation to set them straight. She’s so into it she doesn’t notice that Elizabeth is back in the room until Nanny asks what’s wrong. Kristy isn’t reassured that nothing’s wrong until Elizabeth touches Watson’s hand and smiles a little.
Watson asks who called and Elizabeth says its Patrick. He wants to talk to Sam, Charlie, and Kristy. Not David Michael though. I think he forgot David Michael (now called DM cuz I don’t want to keep typing it on repeat) exists.
Chapter Two
Kristy demands to know what it is about. After all, she’s only seen him a hand full of times since he left. Like when he popped up and told her to keep it a secret (BSC movie and Kristy’s Book) and when they ran into each other at a baseball game in California (BSC in the USA, I believe). Watson says that they can use the extension in his office and off Kristy goes to find out why Daddy-Not-So-Dearest is calling.
Patrick greets Kristy like they were old friends and Kristy notes that he sounds a little too happy and cheerful. Charlie picks up another phone and wants to know why he’s calling. Patrick says he has great news and wants to make sure everyone is on the line. Before he even waits for Sam to answer (how many extensions do they have for one phone line? Christ on a crutch!) he launches into the news.
He’s getting married!
Crickets.
Patrick asks if anyone’s going to congratulate him and Charlie makes like honey badger, doesn’t give a shit, and hangs up. Patrick says for them not to all do it at once. Oh look, Sam is on this call. Good to know. He and Kristy give half hearted congratulations.
Patrick doesn’t seem to notice that his kids are decidedly not pleased (and probably doesn’t even know that Charlie bounced like Tigger right out of that damn call) and proceeds to invite them to California for the wedding. The children he walked out on and barely remembers to send birthday or Christmas cards to. Sam says that school is about to start as he tactfully tries to get out of this. Patrick says that Elizabeth already okayed this if they want it. He’s already bought and sent the tickets.
Sam tries to resist again and Patrick insists its all taken care of and asks if he’ll come. Sam finally and reluctantly agrees. Kristy wants to say no, but she just heard how well that worked out for Sam and agrees. And hey, he proves that he didn’t know Charlie hung up by asking if he’d come. Kristy covers for her oldest brother and says he’d let Patrick know.
“Oh. Well. He’ll be there. I know my kids won’t let me down. This is terrific!”
Yeah they won’t let you down the way you let them down time and time again. Like when you bought Kristy the right handed glove and she’s a leftie. Dick. I don’t like him. Patrick asks to talk to Elizabeth again and Kristy goes to get her. Elizabeth, like Sam, tries to bow out of the phone call saying that they’re in the middle of dinner but Patrick’s as good of a listener as he is a father. Elizabeth sends Kristy back to the dining room while she says whatever she has to say to Patrick in private.
Nannie is so preoccupied by the fact that her former son-in-law interrupted dinner that she doesn’t notice Emily playing her mashed ptoatoes. Watson, DM, and Andrew are sitting very quietly and very still, like someone pressed pause. Karen is bouncing. Kristy knows by how they’re acting that Sam told them what was going on.
Watson tries to make small talk about how weather in California is very nice this time of year. No one says anything so he turns to Nannie and says something about gardening in California.
Charlie breaks the tension by saying that he’s not going. Point blank. DM wants to go though and Kristy realizes that Patrick didn’t even ask about DM. Nor did he invite his youngest son to the wedding. Kristy tries to rationalize saying that Patrick probably thought DM was too young for the trip. I’m not so nice and say that he probably forgot DM existed. Charlie gives his own version of the Look to his younger siblings and asks if they’re going. They both said they would. DM says again that he wants to go and Kristy tells him to talk to Mom when she’s off the phone.
Charlie is peeved that Kristy and Sam agreed to go and that DM wants to go to the wedding. DM, in childlike innocence, says that Patrick is his real father and wants to go. Kristy sees Watson flinch at DM’s words and hopes his feelings aren’t hurt.
“Your real father,” sputtered Charlie. “A real father doesn’t go off and leave his family. I was ten when he left. I remember what it was like. I remember how Mom-“
Boom. Right in the feels from Charlie. What he remembers about Elizabeth we never find out though. Because she comes into the room and says they have a lot to talk about. Kristy says that if she weren’t so upset, she probably would’ve laughed at the giant understatement.
Chapter Three
The tickets arrived in the morning while the kids were outback playing with Shannon (the puppy) and Watson and Nannie were gardening. Kristy watches them play while eating her cereal before she puts her dishes in the dishwasher and goes to the family room. In there, Elizabeth is working on colors with Emily. The parents are a lot more involved with their kids in this series.
Kristy and Elizabeth talk about the fact that it’s a nice day. Kristy comments that she wonders how the weather is in California. Why doesn’t she just call Dawn and ask? After all, Dawn is the California expert. Elizabeth says that she’s not sure what to say about all of this and Kristy is disappointed. She expected her mom to have everything figured out. The doorbell rings and it’s the tickets. There are three tickets (Charlie, Sam, and Kristy). None for DM. He does not exist anymore in Patrick’s mind.
Charlie and Sam are summoned to the living room by the mere magic of plane tickets being opened. Charlie announces again that he’s not going, especially after what Patrick did to them. Kristy admits that she used to be jealous that Charlie had all of those memories with Patrick that she didn’t have, but now she’s starting to see the benefits of not having remembered. Elizabeth says its up to Charlie but she hopes that he’ll reconsider. Charlie says he won’t and leaves the room.
Kristy is confident he’ll change his mind and asks when they leave. The tickets are for Monday and they come back the following Sunday. It’s a week stay. Kristy wants to know where they’ll even stay for a week and is baffled to hear that she’d stay with Patrick of course. She realizes that she hasn’t spent a week with her father since he left and starts to panic. She bounces out to go visit Mary Anne.
We get a brief history of Mary Anne and why she’s back on Bradford Court. Kristy bikes to visit Mary Anne (because Stoneybrook has streets that change and time that never will). She realizes part of the way there that she hopes Mary Anne is home. She is. Mary Anne takes one look at Kristy and knows something is wrong. They go up to Mary Anne’s room to talk about what’s going on and Mary Anne says that Kristy can hold Tigger while she talks about it since cats are comforting.
We get a rundown of Charlie refusing to go and Kristy then comes up with a brilliant idea. Mary Anne can go instead of Charlie. They have the extra ticket. Mary Anne says that she thinks it should be a family thing. Kristy reluctantly agrees and then they start to talk about the woman Patrick is marrying: Zoey.
Claudia comes over and they spent the time up until the BSC meeting hanging out at Mary Anne’s house. Since this isn’t the BSC proper anymore, we don’t get an in-depth rundown of members, club history, and who would be what charm if they were on a charm bracelet. There is only one sentence about the meeting before Kristy is magically home in time for dinner.
DM is still saying he wants to go to the wedding and doesn’t get why he can’t. They have an extra ticket after all. Watson says what they’re having and then tells Kristy to call everyone to dinner. Charlie is still angry and Kristy doesn’t know how to talk to him about it, because Charlie doesn’t get angry often.
Now Karen and Andrew want to go to California too. If this were the main BSC series, they’d all go. And everyone in the BSC. And half the town. Throughout dinner, DM keeps saying he wants to go to the wedding and Elizabeth says he doesn’t have a ticket. Kristy again wonders if that’s the real reason DM can’t go to the wedding. At the end of the meal, Charlie says again that he’s not going and Elizabeth emotionally blackmails him by saying that if he doesn’t go, Sam and Kristy can’t either.
I mean I get why she says it. They’re 15 and 13. But Charlie’s only 17. Not exactly the world’s best chaperone.
Chapter Four
Kristy is in shock about her mom’s declaration to the point that she can’t even focus on baseball. She realizes that she actually did want to go and wonders if Sam is feeling the same way. So she asks and Sam admits that he would kind of like to see their father. Kristy decides she’s going to talk to Charlie and invites Sam. Sam is like ‘nope. You’re on your own little sister!’ so Kristy goes up to talk to her oldest brother.
She is momentarily distracted by the sport magazine Charlie is reading but refocuses quickly. Kristy says its not fair of Charlie to sabotage Patrick’s wedding and Charllie proves again that he’s awesome:
He can have a wedding without me. Just like I can have a life without him.
Oh Charlie, your seventeen-year-old angst appeals deeply to me. Especially as its valid angst and not just whining because Byron Pike won’t swim in the ocean. Kristy claims its important that they be there for their father and Charlie says to tell it to Elizabeth because he’s honey badger and he don’t give a fuck. Kristy insinuates that Charlie is just scared to see Patrick in her first attempt at emotional blackmail. Doesn’t work. So instead she appeals to his big brother side and it does work. Charlie is going to the wedding so Sam and Kristy don’t have to miss it. I love him.
She goes back downstairs to where Sam is watching the game and waits for a chance to tell him. At the end of the inning, she says that Charlie will go but he doesn’t like it. Sam admits he doesn’t like it either but thanks Kristy for getting Charlie to change his mind.
This chapter wasn’t very snarkable. Instead, I spent most of it drooling over the awesome that is Charlie Thomas.
Chapter Five
Kristy thinks that she should definitely know how to pack for a wedding, as she’s been to so many. However, she’s fairly certain she forgot something as they’re getting ready to leave. She pulls out a literal list from her pocket and declares that she hasn’t forgotten anything. Watson tries to help her with her suitcase and she doesn’t want him to because of his heart. I don’t care. That’s cute. Even if she realizes she’s being a bit overprotective of her step-dad.
Turns out Kristy did forget something. Her carry-on bag so she has something to read on the plane. Karen tells them not to get eaten by sharks in California and Kristy assures Andrew, who looks worried at the thought, that the wedding will be on land. Honestly, I think he was just wishing Karen would get eaten by a shark so he never has to play Let’s All Come In again.
Elizabeth managed to convince DM that he’s too young to go to the wedding, but he’s still not happy about it. Kristy, to try to make him feel better, promised to send him cool post cards and bring him home a surprise. I like it when we see the Thomas siblings being good siblings. And while Kristy agrees that DM is too young for the trip, she rightly thinks that it should’ve been Patrick who talked to him. But that requires Patrick remembering that DM exists.
Watson drives them to the airport and the Thomas kids (sans DM) slide into their row. Charlie snarks about Sam taking the window without asking if anyone else wanted it and Kristy quickly declares that they’ll switch during the flight.
Before take-off, Kristy makes sure they have the house key to Patrick’s because the ass can’t be bothered to pick his kids up from the airport. Instead he and Zoey left a car for them with directions to the house and sent a key. Charlie snarks that he’d be surprised if Patrick remembered to leave the car. Kristy feels a little guilty for guilt tripping Charlie into taking the trip.
Now we have some reminiscing about what life was like post-Patrick and pre-Watson and I refuse to snark it. It includes Charlie being perfect and helping his mom take care of the kids and diaper DM and keep Sam and Kristy quiet while she worked. There’s a cute story about Sam and Kristy helping with laundry and turning everything pink. Then, because none of them wanted to wear pink, they washed it all again with a bright yellow towel which made everything an ugly orange. Elizabeth never said anything.
There’s another cute story of Charlie giving them all haircuts to help save money and Elizabeth still taking them to the barber to get things evened up. Because a ten year old is not a good hair cutter. And then a sad memory of them pitching in to get Charlie a new baseball glove for his eleventh birthday and him saying he couldn’t play and Sam offering to take the responsibility once a week so Charlie could be a kid. Fuck I’m drowning in Thomas family feels.
The flight is uneventful and when they land, the car is exactly where Patrick said it would be. We get some info on the drive to Patrick’s, including impressions of San Francisco and Sausalito. Then we get to Patrick’s.
Chapter Six
Apparently, Patrick’s house is big. We get a description but since its not an honest to god mansion, I’m not describing it. Charlie bitterly says that Patrick did well for himself and Kristy shoots him the look. Sam says he’s thirsty and Kristy scolds him but he retorts that the note did say to make themselves at home. Sam offers a drink to everyone and both of his siblings refuse. Kristy has a hard time imagining Patrick taking care of any of the plants inside.
Kristy and Charlie explore the house. Kristy finds two offices and two bedrooms on the ground floor. Charlie finds four more bedrooms upstairs. WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEED SIX BEDROOMS? Sorry. I live in a three bedroom house with seven adults and a nine month old. Kristy and her brothers examine pictures of Patrick and what they assume is Zoey. They find a picture of Patrick in an apron and Kristy asks if they think he got a new job. The idea of their father as a cook instead of a sportswriter, like they always thought he was, doesn't go over well and they decide it must’ve been for a party. After all, as Charlie says: It’s the one thing he’s been consistant about. His dedication to his career as a sportswriter.
I now have a small headcanon of Charlie finding articles of Patrick’s and clipping them when he was younger. And then burning them when he got older when Patrick forgets a birthday or something. I don’t know. It’s 5:30 AM. I shouldn’t snark this late at night.
As if on cue, Patrick walks into the house with Zoey. Patrick seems surprised to see them there even though they said they would. Maybe he thinks that they’re as unreliable as he is. Zoey takes the shopping bag from Patrick’s hand and pushes him towards the kids. Kristy hugs him. Sam shakes his hand. Charlie doesn’t shake his hand. He just acts cool and aloof.
Patrick says that its been a long time and Charlie asks whose fault that is. I know this is supposed to be a Kristy book, but damn if I haven’t written a lot about the god that is Charlie Thomas. In my BSC pantheon, he’s basically the Zeus. Zoey breaks the tension by saying she’s heard a lot about them. Before Charlie snapped back, Patrick introduces her to the kids.
Chapter Seven
Kristy just now realizes that Zoey is about to be her step-mother. Kristy is polite and shakes her hand and says she’s glad to meet her. Charlie and Sam also shake her hand and Kristy wonders if Zoey knows how unreliable Patrick is. Patrick asks if anyone’s hungry and starts unloading food from the Greenhouse, where he is the cook. Kristy offers to help and Zoey sets her the task of setting out plates, glasses, and silverware. And then Kristy delegates silverware to Charlie and glasses to Sam. Patrick comments that she’s very organized and Charlie says that anyone who knows her knows that. As in: You don’t know her Daddy-Not-So-Dearest.
Turns out the Greenhouse is Zoey’s restaurant and Patrick is the chef, which confuses the kids. When Sam says that he thought he was a sportswriter, Patrick says he changed his mind but he still freelances on the side. Patrick tells about how he ended up in cooking after an interview and met Zoey there. After lunch, Zoey offers to take them on a tour of Sausalito.
The tour goes well and even Charlie is relaxing a little, though only to Zoey. They end up at the Greenhouse. Zoey stays behind at the restaurant to help with the dinner rush.
The kids offer to help with dinner but Patrick sends them out to explore the neighborhood. Ace parenting there, Patrick. Send the teenagers off in a strange neighborhood in a strange city they’d never been in. Richard Spier is judging you. By the time they get back to Patrick’s, Zoey is already home. They have pasta primavera for dinner.
They start talking about things they need to get for the wedding. The boys need tuxedos (which they aren’t happy about) and Kristy needs a new dress (which she isn’t happy about). Kristy notes that her father is very charming and remembers that he was always charming. Patrick asks Sam and Charlie to be his best men at the wedding since they’re his sons. Again, Kristy wonders about DM and I shout at my kindle that he’s forgotten that DM exists.
Sam agrees but Charlie says he’ll have to make do with one of his three sons. Fuck yeah Charlie. I need a Charlie Thomas fan club shirt. Patrick looks pissy that Charlie refuses and Zoey asks if he’s sure. Charlie gets ready to leave the table and Patrick is a dick: Hey, do your old man a favor, will you? I promise I won’t ask you to do it again.
Charlie very simply says no. When Patrick tries again, Charlie lays him out. I’m going to leave this chunk in tact so we can all fangirl over the wonder that is Charlie Thomas. Shit I’m 26 and in love with a fictional 17 year old because of this book.
Charlie said, “what right do you have to ask me to be your best man? You left when I was ten, in case you’ve forgotten. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Asking me to be your best man isn’t going to make us good buddies. And its not going to make you into the father you’ve never been to me. Or Sam or David Michael, in case you’ve forgotten him.”
Round of applause please. He’s amazing. Marry me Charlie Thomas. Patrick says that Charlie is out of line and Charlie says that it isn’t. Then he goes to his room.
To be continued in another post because apparently I am too long winded for LJ.