50 - Dawn's Big Date

[3_foot_6]

Next - and last, because my psyche can't take any more of her - in the "Dawn is a heinous bitch" series: Dawn hilariously repulses all males, even though chicks are always wanting to touch her hair and stuff

Comments

[kakeochi_umai]

Oh my God. Are you a lesbian? If so, can I marry you?

“THEY might have good hair and skin if they didn’t eat so much junk food.” Way to perpetuate the completely false belief that what you eat affects your hair and skin, way to make assumptions about the eating habits of people you don’t even know, and way to be a smug, superior, off-putting bitch.

I had a manager like that. I asked for time off to see a dermatologist and get put on Roaccutane, and I really shouldn't have told her why I wanted said time off, because she totally pulled a Dawn several times that I remember. Surprise surprise, by the end of my treatment my skin was great. Shut up, Carol. She was 60-something, though, not 13.

The Hills call for the first time, having been referred by the Johanssens, and Claudia takes down their information and says she’ll call back after they see who’s available. Kristy immediately bristles and wants to know if they asked for someone in particular because that’s not how the club works. Okay, a) Claudia just said they’d see who’s available, not “see if Mary Anne’s available” or something, and b) how would they even know who to ask for, since they’re brand-new clients?

K. Ron's a bit touchy about them Johanssens...

Oh my christ - first of all, smart is not odd, CLAUDIA. I know that intelligence is scary and foreign to you, but learn to handle it, because the smart people will be taking care of you a few years from now, what with all the turpentine you’ve obviously been inhaling. Second of all, binge eating is not “odd.” Just because you’re a judgmental shit who doesn’t have the same motivations and problems as your sibling does not give you the right to fucking harass them.
...
No, he’d be happier if kids weren’t little shitstains. He should work on healthier habits, yes, but he should not have to lose weight to make people like him. Why would you want to bend over backwards to impress people who make your life hell? Why should he cater to that level of bullshit? I know the Lesson of the Week is supposed to be “The Dangers of Binge Eating,” but I really think that telling kids they have to reshape themselves to make people like them is sick.

*STANDS. UP. AND. FUCKING. APPLAUDS.*

I’m also completely put out by the fact that this is actually a pop quiz she just failed. It’s one thing to get an answer wrong when the teacher just calls on you, and it’s another to purposely get your grade lowered.

I guess the teacher isn't a pusher...

continuing to accuse the pot of being Jessi

*dies*

I think this actually qualifies as mental abuse. They encourage Sarah to be a heinous bitch to him by calling him a gluttonous pig, because that will encourage him to lose weight.

I hated this so, so much, and I totally agree that it is mental abuse.

[kakeochi_umai]

Also, the other thing that really bugged me about this abuse is that they apparently took him to a bunch of doctors to see what was up with him. Did not ONE of them toss comfort eating out there as a possible issue? Cause, I mean, he explicitly SAYS that he comfort eats, and so shitting on him like that? Is going to have the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE EFFECT than these shit slices are intending.

And now I am going to walk away from this snark and remind myself that these are fictional characters in a fictional world and they are NOT REAL. Cause I am seriously about to throw something across the room here.

Before I do, though, I just wanted to say snark away! I love seeing these books get ripped to shreds, and I really don't mind how many times each gets done. Everyone notices different things, anyway.

[my_lady_aria]

If they were doctors worth their salt, yeah, at least one of them did. But the idiot parents would rather pin it on their kid instead of taking responsibility for letting him get fat in the first place instead of teaching him healthy eating and then beating him down for what's their fault. Blame the kid so they can keep buying junk food for themselves.