Stacey and the Cheerleaders Chapters 4-6
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/420869.html
Chapter 4
Stacey and her friends are watching the game on a Saturday night. Stacey is a wreck because she knows people on the team and is worried about them. I can see that. I have no friends on any sporting teams, so I wouldn’t care too much about the result of a game. I’d want my school to win, of course, but I wouldn’t have a high level of emotional investment. I probably would care a little more if I had friends on a sports team. Stacey thinks that the word dribbling is weird. She thinks that dribbling makes you think of drool and people should just use the word bouncing. Now I’m imagining Stacey hearing that someone was dribbling the ball and thinking that she didn’t see anyone drooling. I’m not sure why they use the word dribbling. Janine might be able to tell you, but that would mean being around her for more than two seconds.
Sheila and Marty look so in love. Stacey fantasizes about having a guy to love her. She’s thirteen. To be fair, I probably had ridiculous fantasies about romance when I was thirteen. Stacey’s eyes drift over to Robert without her knowing why. Robert’s your soulmate and you can feel his soul calling to yours. I thought Stacey though Robert was cute. I’d certainly try to find a guy I thought was cute at a sporting event. Stacey sees Corinne and waves. Corinne looks at Jessi, Kristy, Mary Anne, and Claudia and feels self-conscious because Kristy is waving a bag of chips around and lecturing Mary Anne about basketball, Mary Anne looks pale and bored, Claudia is wearing a weird outfit, and Jessi is hoping the basketball game goes on for a long time so they can stay up late. This is the outfit Claudia is wearing-a sequined vest over a man’s white shirt and bell-bottomed spandex pants. It’s the bell-bottoms, isn’t it? Only freaks wear bell bottoms.
These incidences seem mild compare to the behavior the BSC usually exhibit. I’m pretty sure people judge the BSC for being a bunch of snobs that are creepily involved with the kids in Stoneybrook. Has Stacey ever been embarrassed by Kristy’s lack of table manners or tendency to blurt out whatever comes to mind? Her lack of tact would make for some pretty embarrassing moments. I’m pretty sure no one is paying attention to a pale girl that looks bored. As for Jessi’s comment, isn’t she going to a sleepover? Will Watson and Elizabeth come into the room and tell them when it’s time to go to bed? If they do, what’s stopping them from talking quietly?
Stacey feels ashamed at her annoyance and resolves not to act like a snob. She isn’t going to judge her friends. I’m pretty sure the BSC judges each other all the time, but they do it in a backhanded manner. Stacey still doesn’t seem to realize that she and her friends are snobs because they look down on everyone. They always have to say that they’re the best, but they’re not conceited. I guess Stacey thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to look down on small towns because she’s from the big city. Seriously, she was such a snob in Stacey’s Mistake. No one in New York cares about you and your friends.
The game is really tense. Kristy nearly has a heart attack. I know Kristy isn’t friends with anyone on the team, but she is an athlete, so maybe she would get caught up in the excitement of a game. Mary Anne nearly cries. Why? She doesn’t like sports and isn’t friends with anyone on the team. I can get being tense, but being driven to tears? Why am I questioning Mary Anne’s crying?
Stacey goes to Robert and congratulates him. She hugs him but it doesn’t mean anything. Besides, he’s sweaty so the hug is gross. My teacher said she was attracted to her husband because of his smell. She also told us about studies where they have people sniff sweaty shirts. I think if a person has a compatible immune system with them they rate the smell as more pleasant. Stacey is inching closer to Robert when there’s a piercing whistle. Kristy has whistled to get Stacey’s attention. How loud can she whistle? The noise level in the gym was pretty high.
Kristy yells if Stacey is coming to the sleepover or not. There had to be a more subtle way to get Stacey’s attention, but Kristy doesn’t believe in subtlety. I shudder to think of her as a negotiator. Apparently sleepovers are rather childish. I’ve had a sleepover in college before, but it was co ed. Maybe if the sleepover is co ed it’s sophisticated.
Stacey broods until they get to Kristy’s house and they see a wide selection of fruits, veggies, dip, bread and cold cuts. Kristy is amazed and asks if Watson prepared all this. I wasn’t aware that fruits and veggies took preparation. If you’re catering for an event, I think there are places you can call that slices the fruits, veggies, and cold cuts for you. Other than that, I’m not sure how much effort it takes to slice up some vegetables and fruit. Maybe it is slightly time consuming when you’re catering an event.
Watson lets the BSC think he made the food until Elizabeth says he ordered it from the deli. They eat the food. Nothing is sugary. Watson prepared fruits and vegetables. I don’t think of sugar when I think of fruits and vegetables. The BSC has a great time at the sleepover. Stacey thinks she has such wonderful friends. Yeah, but if you have an interest that they don’t care about or an interest that conflicts with the BSC, they can turn on you so fast you wouldn’t even be able to wonder what happened. The BSC is only your friend when you behave in a way they approve of. The second you start wanting things outside of babysitting or benefitting the club, you’re outta there.
Chapter 5
Sheila, Darcy, and Penny are waiting outside Stacey’s homeroom. She thinks they’re going to laugh about the sleepover. I’m pretty sure no one remembers the fact that Stacey was going to a sleepover, but the BSC thinks that they’re more important than they really are. Sheila says that Stacey is going to die and Stacey is confused. Sheila tells Stacey that Robert likes her and Stacey is confused. Stacey isn’t part of the Group, so why would he be interested in her? Maybe Robert believes in associating outside his group of friends. I can see why Stacey is confused, because the BSC does not believe in that. You don’t need friends when you’re friends with the BSC.
Sheila says Robert is going to call Stacey, so she should be prepared. Whenever I hear the phrase “be prepared,” I start singing the Lion King song in my head. Penny tells Stacey that one of the cheerleaders is moving away and they’re holding tryouts to replace her. Darcy says Stacey is pretty enough to be on the squad and Stacey is confused about what if means. It means you’re pretty, Stacey. I thought Stacey was aware of the fact that she was attractive. Do you think the cheerleaders would let someone who looks like Mallory join the squad?
Stacey needs to know how to do cartwheels, splits, jumps, and pick up combinations. I’m sure there’s a dirty joke to be made about Stacey and splits, but I can’t think of any. Stacey thinks being asked to try out for cheerleading is weird because she’s never seen cheerleaders in New York. The girls preferred to have their own teams than cheering for the boys. Couldn’t they have made a cheerleading team, then? Don’t some schools have cheerleading teams that have their own competitions and events? Can’t boys be cheerleaders? I think boys may be able to help with moves that require lifting or catching a cheerleader?
Stacey doesn’t tell her friends about Robert in case he doesn’t call. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed. I’d be torn between wanting to tell my friends and being afraid that mentioning it will jinx the probability of a phone call. Robert doesn’t call until Stacey has to leave for the BSC meeting. A cute boy is calling Stacey, so Kristy will just have to force feed her candy as punishment. It will be totally worth it. Stacey and Robert talk a little bit. Stacey is attracted to Robert because he’s modest. I was unaware that the BSC even knew what modesty was. They agree to go out on a date. Stacey and Robert are going to get along fine because he dislikes Mall Warriors: II. They’re clearly a match made in heaven. They should just have the BSC plan the wedding right now. Stacey is too excited at the fact that her love life is no longer dryer than the Sahara desert to care that Kristy is preparing the instruments of torture for when she arrives at Claudia’s.
Chapter 6
Apparently Shannon might be offended that Kristy thought her little sister might be a bookworm. There are plenty of insults I can think of to describe a child, but bookworm isn’t one of them. Maybe I’m biased because I’m a bookworm. Why would Shannon be offended that Kristy thought Maria was going to be a bookworm? I guess Kristy doesn’t approve of bookworms and/or introverts, given her incredulity that Mallory was having a nice time reading instead of running around like she would. Now Maria is outgoing and athletic, so she gets the Kristy stamp of approval. The BSC only approves of kids who have hobbies they like so they don’t have to go through the inconvenience of sitting through Candyland or reading them a story. Tiffany’s a good kid as well. I guess that mean she kisses Kristy’s ass and has her interests.
Kristy is a great sitter. We all know this is a pack of lies, so let’s move on. The BSC doesn’t know Shannon’s family very well. Tiffany resembles Shannon and Maria is a redhead. Kristy thinks that Tiffany will be like one of her sisters instead of thinking that she might have her own interests and hobbies instead of being a mini Shannon or a mini Maria. Why would you automatically assume that the sibling you haven’t met is either polite and studious or bright and thoughtful? Since Kristy knows Shannon and Maria, she is expecting a cushy job. It’s probably a good idea not to make assumptions about people based on their siblings.
Kristy rings the doorbells and hears the siblings fighting. She suddenly regrets volunteering for the job because Maria and Tiffany are going to act like bickering siblings and this won’t be an easy job. Let’s see what a great sitter Kristy is now when she’s faced with a problem. She’s a great sitter when the kids are kissing her ass and not engaging in any inconvenient childhood behavior such as sibling rivalry or fears that they find inconvenient she can’t handle it. Shannon’s mom is happy and Kristy thinks it’s because she’s leaving. Yes, but she’ll have to come back and deal with bickering children for a longer time than Kristy will. Not to mention Kristy is getting paid.
Mrs. Kilbourne leaves and Maria and Tiffany look like the twin statues of doom and gloom. If I had Kristy Thomas as my babysitter I’d look like that too. Kristy wants to know if they want to go outside. They say nothing. She gets out the Kid Kit. Maria is interested in a word puzzle and Tiffany starts playing with a yo-yo. Tiffany is swinging the yo-yo in an arc and moving closer to Maria. Is Kristy not noticing this? It should be pretty obvious that she’s going to hit Maria. Sure enough, Tiffany does hit Maria on the elbow and Kristy finally tells Tiffany that she’s swinging the yo-yo too close and maybe she should do it in another room. Tiffany agrees and suggests the TV room. This will not end well, will it? But since the BSC views the TV as an evil last resort, I doubt they’d protest the destruction of it. Kristy asks Maria if she’s okay in the room by herself. I think Maria’s seven. I think she can be trusted in a room by herself while she does an activity quietly.
The TV room has glass in it. It may not be a good idea to do yo-yo tricks in there. But contrary to what the BSC would have you believe, Kristy doesn’t come up with great ideas. Kristy sees some trophies and asks if they belong to Tiffany. Tiffany impatiently tells her to read the name. But reading the name on the trophy might be considered common sense and we all know how the BSC feels about that.
The trophies belong to Maria. Maria comes into the room and Tiffany calls the trophies and awards boring. Kristy is impressed because Maria likes athletic things. Kristy obviously likes Maria now because she shares her interests. Maria is showing Kristy an article about her when Tiffany grabs it and calls her conceited. The article rips and Kristy tells the girls to call a truce. Maria shows Kristy to her room. She tells Kristy that Tiffany is bad and always getting into trouble. She’s about to say something else but stops herself. Kristy says Maria in that warning tone and raises a presidential eyebrow. I wonder why Kristy thinks that any problems Tiffany might be having in school is any of her concern.
Tiffany overhears and gets upset. Kristy goes to talk to her. Tiffany’s room is a mess. Kristy realizes that Maria is upset because her two sisters have hobbies and talents and she has nothing that she’s good at. I guess this will absolve Tiffany of any bratty behavior that she might display. Kristy tells Tiffany about how she used to misbehave in class until she got sent home with a note. She didn’t want her parents to see it, so she flushed it down the toilet. Unfortunately, the teacher called home and she got in trouble. The story sinks in and Tiffany is going to show her parents the note she got sent home with.