Mary Anne and the Zoo Mystery Part Three!
Please note that I hadn't time to edit this but it won't make any difference, because the book makes NO DAMN SENSE.
Chapter ten is quite boring. Jessi sits for her own siblings and Becca invites too many girls over to help write letters to the animal-abusing shopping mall. Squirt rubs yogurt all over himself. There's some semi-pornographic descriptions of the little girls' leg lengths and soft chestnut hair.
Chapter eleven brings us back to the nonsense. Alan Gray is giving a speech of all the information he supposedly garnered from watching Edith the Emu: "The adult emu generally weighs about one hundred and twenty pounds," and so forth. MA completely believes that he just learned all this from observation. Even the part about the emu swallowing boluses the size of baseballs, which he could not possibly have seen. For some reason Logan is standing there while he recites his observations, and is also impressed.
Logan tries to impress MA by telling him that he also observed some interesting things about the gorillas. Alan makes a genuinely funny crack about Logan's horrible family, and Logan replies by pretending to pull a flea off of Alan's body. Alan retreats with a "that's so funny I forgot to laugh." Come on, Alan, you were in rare form!
Mary Anne physically pulls Alan away to stop the fight. She asks Alan how he managed to notice so much about the Emu, and he says "If you want to win the game, you have to do a little more than just sit and stare."
MA reminds him that it's not a game.
Alan responds that it's a war.
I kind of wish that the ghostie would have put those words in Logan's mouth because he's so much more of a dick.
MA reflects that she's going to get an ulcer if the fighting doesn't stop.
Then Jessi comes by with Matt Braddock, who is going to interrogate Mojo the gorilla about who released the emu. Which makes no sense, because although the giraffe cage is right near the gorillas, the emu pen is in a different part of the zoo entirely. The BSC thinks this is a "terrific plan."
Jessi translates for Matt that he can't wait to talk to the gorilla. MA admits that she doesn't know much sign language except for the lyrics to "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. "
Mojo the gorilla is sitting around minding her own business and eating Browse, which MA explains is like feeding a human carrots instead of crackers so they won't gain weight. Except that carrots are pretty high calorie, so celery would have been a much better example. Oh, and all of a sudden the gorilla cage is right next to the emu enclosure, despite the fact that two chapters ago the emu pen was so far away from the giraffe house (which was right next to the gorilla cage) that MA had to run across the zoo to get there. Whatever, maybe it's a portable cage. I would not put keeping a gorilla in a wheeled cage meant for a cockatiel past the Bedford Zoo.
Matt gets Mojo's attention somehow-- hopefully not by making eye contact, which is supposed to make gorillas charge-- and signs "hello." At least in my ebook, the ASL conversations are not indicated by quote marks or italics or anything else that would make them sound like dialogue.
Matt politely asks if the food is good, and Mojo signs "good."
Mr. Chester brings in the gorillas' lunch just at that moment.
Matt asks who let the emu out of the pen.
Mojo looks at Mr. Chester. No one realizes this is a clue, because they are dumbos. AMM is also a bit of a dumbo for thinking that a gorilla who knows a bit of speech would actually know the word for "emu." I would have bought this if Matt had signed "who let ugly gray bird out" or something.
Matt asks the question again, and Mojo responds by making the sign for "food," but they still don't get it.
Mr. Chester yells at Alan and Howie, who have stepped away from the path and are hiding in the bushes holding handfuls of the ornamental berries MA found by the emu cage.
The gorillas pound the walls of their cage, and Mr. Chester testily goes back to feeding them their lunches.
Howie and Alan flee.
MA reflects that if Mr. Chester had been that harsh with her, she would have cried. She does not ask herself what Howie and Alan were doing in the bushes with handfuls of berries.
Logan comes by and refers to Alan as The Jerk. MA says she's tired of all the fighting and wants Logan to stop.
Logan promises to stop being mean to Alan.
The two finally get around to wondering aloud how Alan was able to get so much information on the emu just by watching, but they can't figure it out. They go and watch a couple of seals who say "aroo aroo" get fed fish.
Then MA remembers that Mrs. Whoopie was going to give a presentation on Mojo's sign language at the gorilla cage at feeding time, and they head right back to where they were. The much-maligned "spy" couple is there, talking loudly about how many thousands of dollars somebody would pay for a pet gibbon. MA is shocked, shocked I tell you! But she doesn't tell anyone. She just goes to watch the presentation.
Chapter eleven! Yes, the Ebook lists two chapter elevens.
Mrs. Poopie begins the signing ape presentation by telling everyone that there's going to be a goodbye party for James and Mojo next weekend, and all the eighth graders, their families and friends are invited. I'm beginning to understand why the zoo has such cheap accommodations for the animals, if parties like this are a common thing.
Logan wonders if there will be cake.
Mrs. Swoopy introduces her guest speaker, whose name is Arden P. Wordsworth. MA is surprised that she's only in her fifties with a name like that, but she's tan and spry. I wonder who she's supposed to be... Jane Goodall perhaps?
Dawn asks if it's cruel to keep animals in captivity, and Ms. Wordsworth shoots her down by asking if there are pets in her house. Then she explains that at home in the San Diego zoo, the gorillas enjoy a three-acre enclosure with many challenging fun activities every day; also they're used to human contact and can't be returned to the wild. Fair enough, but then why did you loan them out to this trashy little hatbox of a zoo?
Mrs. Fruity asks Mr. Chester to press the "play" button on the video, but he's not there, so she has to go and figure out how it works by herself. MA takes the time to notice that Howie and Alan aren't in the room.
Then a security guard runs in and tells Mrs. Doobie that the gibbons' pen was open.
Mrs. Ood asks how many gibbons escaped. I wonder how many gibbons a zoo like this can afford. There was only one emu and one giraffe, after all.
The security guard assures her that the gibbons were too busy eating their lunches to escape. Because then there might be some action in this book. I would love to see the eighth grade at SMS face down a band of angry escaped gibbons.
Mr. Chester bumbles in, claims he was busy feeding seals, and loudly asks "what's that? We had another escape?" Then he blames everything on Mrs. Tooti-Fruity because she's an incompetent leader. He says if he were in charge, none of this would have happened.
Logan snaps his fingers and remembers that moments ago, mysterious people were talking about selling gibbons. MA wonders why they didn't just take a gibbon, after they opened the cage. Right, how hard can a gibbon be to shoplift anyway?
The two intrepid detectives run to the gibbon cage to find the door securely locked, and fresh berry stains on the sidewalk just like there were when the emu escaped. Mary Ann points them out and explains them to Logan. "I realized he hadn't been told about my berry discovery." Every boyfriend dreads finding out their girlfriend had a berry discovery.
Logan wonders if they can blame Howie and Alan for this, since they were skulking about in the bushes picking berries earlier.
Then we get a strange sequence where Matt and Jessi ask permission from Ms. Wordsworth to ask Mojo a question... even though they just asked her. Maybe AMM didn't read the ghostie's writing very carefully, thought that this chapter hadn't happened yet, and penned it in herself. Mrs. Wordsworth assures them that it's fine; deaf people come to her zoo to talk to Mojo all the time.
Matt asks if Mojo knows who freed the emu, and she says yes. Then he asks who, and she says "food." And still, no one gets that this is a clue about the person who was bringing Mojo food. They think she wants a snack.
Erica Blumberg scores huge points by pointing out that the gorilla probably didn't know the word "emu" anyway.
MA is disappointed, because if Mojo had pointed out the culprit "she would have gone down in history as the first gorilla detective."
Chapter twelve!
The Elephant Walkathon!!! The sitters have to recruit Stacey at the last minute, because apparently she's the only one in town with a tape player for their music. But they can't physically speak to Stacey, because then Kristy would lose her manhood. So they have to call Becca, who calls Charlotte, who calls Stacey, who agrees that they can use her tape player IF THEY LET HER LEAD THE PARADE and they have to say yes. All the children walk the four mile walkathon BEHIND STACEY. Kristy has a whistle she keeps blowing angrily.
Chapter thirteen!
Dawn is all for telling Mrs. Boobie what they know, but the BSC points out that they don't know anything yet. MA points out that there was berry juice on the sidewalk in front of the emu cage and the gibbon cage, but not the giraffe house. She wonders what that means. Kristy says it means that there were berry bushes in front of the two cages but not the giraffe house. Also my ebook keeps spelling "clues" as "dues" which is funny, especially when they say "Mrs. Wofsey needs all the dues she can get." Pay the woman her dues.
The next day, MA tries to unlock the bear kiosk at the zoo with her key, only to find it doesn't work. Then she notices that her key is metal instead of painted plastic, which she hadn't noticed before. Then she remembers the awkward backpack-dumping incident, and realizes that Alan must have had Mrs. Huey Dewy Louie's real key at the time the emu escaped! Of course, that explains everything! He was in the cage with the emu!!!!
She goes to confront Alan, who shows her the book he'd read on Emus. Imagine! Cheating! By reading a book for a school report! They both blurt out at once that Howie must have had the key, and they go to confront him. He blushes to the ears and admits that he found the zoo key on the ground, and used it to let himself into the pen; then he panicked and left. The emu must have gotten out after he ran away.
MA realizes that Howie lied about his alibi at the time of the emu escape, because bears don't sleep in trees.
Since MA has an alibi for the other two animal escapes, the three realize at once that the thief must have his or her own key.
When MA meets Claudia to tell her the news, Claud reveals that she's been tailing the sweatsuit couple, and it turns out they're just helping "an eccentric tycoon in New Hampshire" plan his own private zoo. MA giggles about how the neighbors will like that.
Then they all sort of looked around and realize that Mr. Chester has a key, and Mr. Chester lied about being the one to feed the seals, and that Mr. Chester is fat so basically it had to be him all along. They tell Mrs. Fluffy what they discovered.
Mrs. I can't think of another name isn't surprised. She says Mr. Chester is jealous that she was promoted to the head instead of him. She says the only way to stop him is to catch him in the act... and somehow she guesses that he's going to free the gorillas.
Chapter fourteen! The sitters arrive to stakeout the Goodbye Gorilla party. After Mrs. Wofsey expressed her concern about the gorillas, they had all "Agreed" that the best time for him to do it would be at the party. Why? If I were going to free a gorilla I wouldn't do it during the zoo's most crowded time.
Alan and Howie are in on the plan; Howie has worn all black and Alan is in camos. Logan starts to tease him, but then remembers his promise to MA and thanks him. Alan seems to have a personal vendetta against Mr. Chester for catching him hiding in the bushes... and somebody needs to write the slashfic about what he and Howie were DOING in the bushes with berries smeared all over their hands, because the book itself never tells us. Mrs. Wofsie, however, has "let [Howie] off with a warning" for breaking into the cage before.
The sitters and Alan and Howie agree to take turns watching Mr. Chester while the gorillas eat their gross banana cake. I'm not clear on why Mrs. Wofsey didn't have the security guards she hired do this, but whatever. I'm beyond questioning such things now.
MA has fun at the carnival with Kristy and Karen and David Michael while she waits her turn to spy on Mr. Chester. There's a place to get your picture taken with your face inside a Gorilla cutout, and she makes a mental note to bring Logan here later.
As MA takes her turn watching Mr. Chester, she sees Mrs. Wofsey give instructions to "the guys in gorilla suits." This doesn't alarm Mr. Chester in any way, apparently, or maybe he just doesn't notice.
MA watches Chester enter the locker room, change into different clothing and a pair of sunglasses, and leave again.
They run to the gorilla cage, where Dawn is hiding. Claudia is waiting across the path with a camera, poised to take an incriminating photo.
A stranger in a floppy hat starts tailing Claudia-- it's not Mr. Chester.
Alan hides in the bushes again. I think he and Howie need to get a room.
Chester lets himself into the cage. Claud starts snapping photos. Dawn shrieks that the gorillas are getting away! Alan attempts to "head them off at the pass," and Logan reminds him that James weighs four hundred pounds. The man in the floppy hat jumps out and shouts "Freeze!"
Chester tries to get away.
Then Mrs. Wofsey shouts " Mike! Curtis! Get him!"
The two escaping gorillas grab Mr. Chester, remove their masks and reveal themselves to be security guards.
The person in the floppy hat turns out to be Mrs. Wofsey.
Chester stammers that they don't have a reason to arrest him, and then Claudia says that she got the whole attempted break-in on camera.
Mrs. Wofsey delivers the following little speech with a straight face: "Mr. Chester, with the help of these young people, I can prove that you not only tried to set our gorillas free, but you also let the giraffe out of its corral and tried, unsuccessfully, to aid the gibbons in an escape. Now, you can deny it, and make this a long, drawn-out process. Or you can give me your resignation right now, along with a letter confessing your crimes and vowing never to work for any zoo or wildlife center again."
So... instead of calling the police, she's going to blackmail the bastard. Got it.
Mr. Chester stammers that her job was supposed to be HIS but he was overlooked, possibly because he's so bad at his job he can't tell the difference between a 400-pound gorilla and a guy in a costume.
Mrs. Wofsey explains that the real James and Mojo are in a holding pen, safe and sound. The security guards were able to pull off the deception because they kept themselves "slightly secluded from the public" and because they'd been observing the gorillas for so long.
Chapter fifteen! Some guy named Alexander Kurtzman won the contest, which is so un-dibble because he's a geek and carries a briefcase. Kristy growls that he must have been cheating to get fifty pages of information on lions.
MA ended up studying Tigger for a whole weekend with Howie and Alan, for her report, since the first one had embroiled them in a cheating scandal.
Babar has been freed-- a wealthy contributor saw the Elephant Walk and agreed to pay the rest of the expenses himself. Babar's going away to an undisclosed location, hopefully not the zoo of that eccentric tycoon in New Hampshire.
Oh, and everyone including Howie who broke into the cage has lifetime passes to the zoo. I don't care. I don't care. I just want to curl up under a blanket and clutch my teddy bear and sob until my brain feels like it's working again.
Okay, I read and snarked it. Now no one has to read it again. Never let it be said I never did anything for you.
Chapter ten is quite boring. Jessi sits for her own siblings and Becca invites too many girls over to help write letters to the animal-abusing shopping mall. Squirt rubs yogurt all over himself. There's some semi-pornographic descriptions of the little girls' leg lengths and soft chestnut hair.
Chapter eleven brings us back to the nonsense. Alan Gray is giving a speech of all the information he supposedly garnered from watching Edith the Emu: "The adult emu generally weighs about one hundred and twenty pounds," and so forth. MA completely believes that he just learned all this from observation. Even the part about the emu swallowing boluses the size of baseballs, which he could not possibly have seen. For some reason Logan is standing there while he recites his observations, and is also impressed.
Logan tries to impress MA by telling him that he also observed some interesting things about the gorillas. Alan makes a genuinely funny crack about Logan's horrible family, and Logan replies by pretending to pull a flea off of Alan's body. Alan retreats with a "that's so funny I forgot to laugh." Come on, Alan, you were in rare form!
Mary Anne physically pulls Alan away to stop the fight. She asks Alan how he managed to notice so much about the Emu, and he says "If you want to win the game, you have to do a little more than just sit and stare."
MA reminds him that it's not a game.
Alan responds that it's a war.
I kind of wish that the ghostie would have put those words in Logan's mouth because he's so much more of a dick.
MA reflects that she's going to get an ulcer if the fighting doesn't stop.
Then Jessi comes by with Matt Braddock, who is going to interrogate Mojo the gorilla about who released the emu. Which makes no sense, because although the giraffe cage is right near the gorillas, the emu pen is in a different part of the zoo entirely. The BSC thinks this is a "terrific plan."
Jessi translates for Matt that he can't wait to talk to the gorilla. MA admits that she doesn't know much sign language except for the lyrics to "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. "
Mojo the gorilla is sitting around minding her own business and eating Browse, which MA explains is like feeding a human carrots instead of crackers so they won't gain weight. Except that carrots are pretty high calorie, so celery would have been a much better example. Oh, and all of a sudden the gorilla cage is right next to the emu enclosure, despite the fact that two chapters ago the emu pen was so far away from the giraffe house (which was right next to the gorilla cage) that MA had to run across the zoo to get there. Whatever, maybe it's a portable cage. I would not put keeping a gorilla in a wheeled cage meant for a cockatiel past the Bedford Zoo.
Matt gets Mojo's attention somehow-- hopefully not by making eye contact, which is supposed to make gorillas charge-- and signs "hello." At least in my ebook, the ASL conversations are not indicated by quote marks or italics or anything else that would make them sound like dialogue.
Matt politely asks if the food is good, and Mojo signs "good."
Mr. Chester brings in the gorillas' lunch just at that moment.
Matt asks who let the emu out of the pen.
Mojo looks at Mr. Chester. No one realizes this is a clue, because they are dumbos. AMM is also a bit of a dumbo for thinking that a gorilla who knows a bit of speech would actually know the word for "emu." I would have bought this if Matt had signed "who let ugly gray bird out" or something.
Matt asks the question again, and Mojo responds by making the sign for "food," but they still don't get it.
Mr. Chester yells at Alan and Howie, who have stepped away from the path and are hiding in the bushes holding handfuls of the ornamental berries MA found by the emu cage.
The gorillas pound the walls of their cage, and Mr. Chester testily goes back to feeding them their lunches.
Howie and Alan flee.
MA reflects that if Mr. Chester had been that harsh with her, she would have cried. She does not ask herself what Howie and Alan were doing in the bushes with handfuls of berries.
Logan comes by and refers to Alan as The Jerk. MA says she's tired of all the fighting and wants Logan to stop.
Logan promises to stop being mean to Alan.
The two finally get around to wondering aloud how Alan was able to get so much information on the emu just by watching, but they can't figure it out. They go and watch a couple of seals who say "aroo aroo" get fed fish.
Then MA remembers that Mrs. Whoopie was going to give a presentation on Mojo's sign language at the gorilla cage at feeding time, and they head right back to where they were. The much-maligned "spy" couple is there, talking loudly about how many thousands of dollars somebody would pay for a pet gibbon. MA is shocked, shocked I tell you! But she doesn't tell anyone. She just goes to watch the presentation.
Chapter eleven! Yes, the Ebook lists two chapter elevens.
Mrs. Poopie begins the signing ape presentation by telling everyone that there's going to be a goodbye party for James and Mojo next weekend, and all the eighth graders, their families and friends are invited. I'm beginning to understand why the zoo has such cheap accommodations for the animals, if parties like this are a common thing.
Logan wonders if there will be cake.
Mrs. Swoopy introduces her guest speaker, whose name is Arden P. Wordsworth. MA is surprised that she's only in her fifties with a name like that, but she's tan and spry. I wonder who she's supposed to be... Jane Goodall perhaps?
Dawn asks if it's cruel to keep animals in captivity, and Ms. Wordsworth shoots her down by asking if there are pets in her house. Then she explains that at home in the San Diego zoo, the gorillas enjoy a three-acre enclosure with many challenging fun activities every day; also they're used to human contact and can't be returned to the wild. Fair enough, but then why did you loan them out to this trashy little hatbox of a zoo?
Mrs. Fruity asks Mr. Chester to press the "play" button on the video, but he's not there, so she has to go and figure out how it works by herself. MA takes the time to notice that Howie and Alan aren't in the room.
Then a security guard runs in and tells Mrs. Doobie that the gibbons' pen was open.
Mrs. Ood asks how many gibbons escaped. I wonder how many gibbons a zoo like this can afford. There was only one emu and one giraffe, after all.
The security guard assures her that the gibbons were too busy eating their lunches to escape. Because then there might be some action in this book. I would love to see the eighth grade at SMS face down a band of angry escaped gibbons.
Mr. Chester bumbles in, claims he was busy feeding seals, and loudly asks "what's that? We had another escape?" Then he blames everything on Mrs. Tooti-Fruity because she's an incompetent leader. He says if he were in charge, none of this would have happened.
Logan snaps his fingers and remembers that moments ago, mysterious people were talking about selling gibbons. MA wonders why they didn't just take a gibbon, after they opened the cage. Right, how hard can a gibbon be to shoplift anyway?
The two intrepid detectives run to the gibbon cage to find the door securely locked, and fresh berry stains on the sidewalk just like there were when the emu escaped. Mary Ann points them out and explains them to Logan. "I realized he hadn't been told about my berry discovery." Every boyfriend dreads finding out their girlfriend had a berry discovery.
Logan wonders if they can blame Howie and Alan for this, since they were skulking about in the bushes picking berries earlier.
Then we get a strange sequence where Matt and Jessi ask permission from Ms. Wordsworth to ask Mojo a question... even though they just asked her. Maybe AMM didn't read the ghostie's writing very carefully, thought that this chapter hadn't happened yet, and penned it in herself. Mrs. Wordsworth assures them that it's fine; deaf people come to her zoo to talk to Mojo all the time.
Matt asks if Mojo knows who freed the emu, and she says yes. Then he asks who, and she says "food." And still, no one gets that this is a clue about the person who was bringing Mojo food. They think she wants a snack.
Erica Blumberg scores huge points by pointing out that the gorilla probably didn't know the word "emu" anyway.
MA is disappointed, because if Mojo had pointed out the culprit "she would have gone down in history as the first gorilla detective."
Chapter twelve!
The Elephant Walkathon!!! The sitters have to recruit Stacey at the last minute, because apparently she's the only one in town with a tape player for their music. But they can't physically speak to Stacey, because then Kristy would lose her manhood. So they have to call Becca, who calls Charlotte, who calls Stacey, who agrees that they can use her tape player IF THEY LET HER LEAD THE PARADE and they have to say yes. All the children walk the four mile walkathon BEHIND STACEY. Kristy has a whistle she keeps blowing angrily.
Chapter thirteen!
Dawn is all for telling Mrs. Boobie what they know, but the BSC points out that they don't know anything yet. MA points out that there was berry juice on the sidewalk in front of the emu cage and the gibbon cage, but not the giraffe house. She wonders what that means. Kristy says it means that there were berry bushes in front of the two cages but not the giraffe house. Also my ebook keeps spelling "clues" as "dues" which is funny, especially when they say "Mrs. Wofsey needs all the dues she can get." Pay the woman her dues.
The next day, MA tries to unlock the bear kiosk at the zoo with her key, only to find it doesn't work. Then she notices that her key is metal instead of painted plastic, which she hadn't noticed before. Then she remembers the awkward backpack-dumping incident, and realizes that Alan must have had Mrs. Huey Dewy Louie's real key at the time the emu escaped! Of course, that explains everything! He was in the cage with the emu!!!!
She goes to confront Alan, who shows her the book he'd read on Emus. Imagine! Cheating! By reading a book for a school report! They both blurt out at once that Howie must have had the key, and they go to confront him. He blushes to the ears and admits that he found the zoo key on the ground, and used it to let himself into the pen; then he panicked and left. The emu must have gotten out after he ran away.
MA realizes that Howie lied about his alibi at the time of the emu escape, because bears don't sleep in trees.
Since MA has an alibi for the other two animal escapes, the three realize at once that the thief must have his or her own key.
When MA meets Claudia to tell her the news, Claud reveals that she's been tailing the sweatsuit couple, and it turns out they're just helping "an eccentric tycoon in New Hampshire" plan his own private zoo. MA giggles about how the neighbors will like that.
Then they all sort of looked around and realize that Mr. Chester has a key, and Mr. Chester lied about being the one to feed the seals, and that Mr. Chester is fat so basically it had to be him all along. They tell Mrs. Fluffy what they discovered.
Mrs. I can't think of another name isn't surprised. She says Mr. Chester is jealous that she was promoted to the head instead of him. She says the only way to stop him is to catch him in the act... and somehow she guesses that he's going to free the gorillas.
Chapter fourteen! The sitters arrive to stakeout the Goodbye Gorilla party. After Mrs. Wofsey expressed her concern about the gorillas, they had all "Agreed" that the best time for him to do it would be at the party. Why? If I were going to free a gorilla I wouldn't do it during the zoo's most crowded time.
Alan and Howie are in on the plan; Howie has worn all black and Alan is in camos. Logan starts to tease him, but then remembers his promise to MA and thanks him. Alan seems to have a personal vendetta against Mr. Chester for catching him hiding in the bushes... and somebody needs to write the slashfic about what he and Howie were DOING in the bushes with berries smeared all over their hands, because the book itself never tells us. Mrs. Wofsie, however, has "let [Howie] off with a warning" for breaking into the cage before.
The sitters and Alan and Howie agree to take turns watching Mr. Chester while the gorillas eat their gross banana cake. I'm not clear on why Mrs. Wofsey didn't have the security guards she hired do this, but whatever. I'm beyond questioning such things now.
MA has fun at the carnival with Kristy and Karen and David Michael while she waits her turn to spy on Mr. Chester. There's a place to get your picture taken with your face inside a Gorilla cutout, and she makes a mental note to bring Logan here later.
As MA takes her turn watching Mr. Chester, she sees Mrs. Wofsey give instructions to "the guys in gorilla suits." This doesn't alarm Mr. Chester in any way, apparently, or maybe he just doesn't notice.
MA watches Chester enter the locker room, change into different clothing and a pair of sunglasses, and leave again.
They run to the gorilla cage, where Dawn is hiding. Claudia is waiting across the path with a camera, poised to take an incriminating photo.
A stranger in a floppy hat starts tailing Claudia-- it's not Mr. Chester.
Alan hides in the bushes again. I think he and Howie need to get a room.
Chester lets himself into the cage. Claud starts snapping photos. Dawn shrieks that the gorillas are getting away! Alan attempts to "head them off at the pass," and Logan reminds him that James weighs four hundred pounds. The man in the floppy hat jumps out and shouts "Freeze!"
Chester tries to get away.
Then Mrs. Wofsey shouts " Mike! Curtis! Get him!"
The two escaping gorillas grab Mr. Chester, remove their masks and reveal themselves to be security guards.
The person in the floppy hat turns out to be Mrs. Wofsey.
Chester stammers that they don't have a reason to arrest him, and then Claudia says that she got the whole attempted break-in on camera.
Mrs. Wofsey delivers the following little speech with a straight face: "Mr. Chester, with the help of these young people, I can prove that you not only tried to set our gorillas free, but you also let the giraffe out of its corral and tried, unsuccessfully, to aid the gibbons in an escape. Now, you can deny it, and make this a long, drawn-out process. Or you can give me your resignation right now, along with a letter confessing your crimes and vowing never to work for any zoo or wildlife center again."
So... instead of calling the police, she's going to blackmail the bastard. Got it.
Mr. Chester stammers that her job was supposed to be HIS but he was overlooked, possibly because he's so bad at his job he can't tell the difference between a 400-pound gorilla and a guy in a costume.
Mrs. Wofsey explains that the real James and Mojo are in a holding pen, safe and sound. The security guards were able to pull off the deception because they kept themselves "slightly secluded from the public" and because they'd been observing the gorillas for so long.
Chapter fifteen! Some guy named Alexander Kurtzman won the contest, which is so un-dibble because he's a geek and carries a briefcase. Kristy growls that he must have been cheating to get fifty pages of information on lions.
MA ended up studying Tigger for a whole weekend with Howie and Alan, for her report, since the first one had embroiled them in a cheating scandal.
Babar has been freed-- a wealthy contributor saw the Elephant Walk and agreed to pay the rest of the expenses himself. Babar's going away to an undisclosed location, hopefully not the zoo of that eccentric tycoon in New Hampshire.
Oh, and everyone including Howie who broke into the cage has lifetime passes to the zoo. I don't care. I don't care. I just want to curl up under a blanket and clutch my teddy bear and sob until my brain feels like it's working again.
Okay, I read and snarked it. Now no one has to read it again. Never let it be said I never did anything for you.