Dawn on the Coast - Continued
The gripping story of Dawn's adventures of a two week spring break now continue...
Dawn wakes up in her old room in her dad's house and for a moment she feels like she might have never left.
She says that the sun is streaming through the windows because as we all know the sun never shines in Stoneybrook unless Kristy says it can. Dawn then smells breakfast cooking and she gets up, commenting on how open and wonderful the house is and so unlike her home in the on the other side of the country.
Dawn there's this little thing called architectural style. When your moms's house was built in the 1790s, the builders did not give a flying crap about big windows (not to mention glass was insanely expensive and full of lead), or open rooms. In that era, you didn't have a big open house unless you had a shit ton of money. Colonial farmhouses were built they way they were for function, not fashion. The rooms are the way they are so that the occupants could stay warm in the FRIGID winter weather.
Now Dawn goes on about the terra cotta floors throughout the house, the skylights in every room which seem to be a safety hazard to me in a house that's in an area prone to earthquakes. Her dad now has a house keeper who keeps the place sparkling clean.
Last time I checked, Sharon was scatterbrained, not dirty.
Dad (called Jack from here on out) announces that today they're going to Disneyland. Somehow the house moves from Palo City to Anaheim. Jeff hears they're going to the park and starts shouting out what he wants to do in the park. Jack grabs a sheet of paper and starts to make a list and Dawn quips that that's her dad, Mr. Organization.
This is starting to make me wonder what exactly caused Jack and Sharon to go their separate ways. Was Jack too OCD and was Sharon driving him mad with her leaving shoes in the crisper drawer? Inquiring minds want to know!
Seriously. I want to know. We know what happened to the McGills and the Thomases, what happened in the Schaffer house?
They head out to the park and I'm sort of surprised that Jack has to buy them all passes. You'd think he and Jeff would have season passes, as surely it's cheaper to purchase one than pay the full admission cost every time.
Jeff takes a ton of pictures of his sister, because he's a creeper.
Dawn buys all the BSC Mickey Mouse hats. I don't know if Stacey got one or not. I'm thinking Claudia wore hers to school at least once. Probably with a red polka dot dress, yellow high tops and a white lacy tights - or leggings and red push down socks. You pick.
The next is all rides and yada yada - Dawn of course, wants to ride the haunted mansion because ghost stories are her character trait. However, she lacks the awesomeness to be a Ghostfacer, because she would be a total groupie if she met a Supernatural-style ghost and be sort of shocked when the angry spirit chucked her through a wall.
Sorry, went into a better story there...
They eat lunch at a buffeteria which sounds horrifically unhealthy for our health-food obsessed girl. It also sounds like the sort of waste she'd freak out about.
Then again, theme park can be strangely good - the best brisket I've had that wasn't cooked by a member of my family was at Sea World in San Antonio.
Chapter Five
Dawn returns from Disneyland and goes over to her friend Sunny's house - only to get the biggest shock +not+ of her life. Her friend started her own branch of the BSC! Well, not exactly. Baby-sitting groups are not all connected to the Baby-Sitter's Club, no matter how much Kristy thinks they are.
There's mention of a book called Kids Can Cook, Naturally and Dawn thinks the BSC would freak out and hate the book because it's all natural food.
You would think that people in the 'brook subsist on nothing but junk food, the way Dawn talks.
I'm going to give the We Love Kids Club props for the following: there are no officers, the meetings relaxed - and the snacks... the snacks are way better. There's actually some thought put into them from Sunny, who makes apple slices with peanut butter for this meeting.
Dawn calls the club very California - and I call bullshit. It's not Californian Dawn, it's Kristy-free.
The We Love Kids Club isn't nearly as busy as the BSC. Either because the parents in Cali watch their own kids, have nannies, or have the sense not to let thirteen year olds watch their children. Take your pick.
Chapter Six
Babysitting in Stoneybrook. The Perkinses, the Newtons and the Feldmans. This is a painful chapter because the Feldmans act like normal children and are made to be monsters by the perfect Perkinses and the Newtons who are the little darlings of the the BSC and always will be.
Dawn tells us that Rob Feldman is a girl-hater. He's ten. At ten years old, most boys believe that girls have cooties and vice versa. The reason that the Pike triplets don't say anything is because they're terrified of their sisters. Particularly Claire.
Claudia and Mary-Anne are both there to watch the kids, since there's so many of them. The girls and Jamie are sitting at the table coloring and Rob is GASP! Watching TV!
Then comes the single biggest line of BS in this chapter. Mrs. Newton tells the girls that the kids will all go to bed between 7 to 7:30.
Riiiight. And I'm the tooth fairy. Pajamas I'll buy, sleeping - no way.
I also remain stunned that neither baby sitter tries to turn off the TV and make Rob do something else. They are later stunned when he rolls a ball back over to Lucy and Laura because they're girls.
Anyway, the coloring kids are going along nicely until Brenda Feldman breaks her brown crayon and then steals her sister's. Rosie, as any kid would do, gets pissed. Dawn snipes that Rosie was probably waiting for an opportunity to make a lot of noise. The fuck? Her sister just took something that belonged to her and she's mad as hell. Granted, screaming is not the best choice, but she's FOUR.
Claudia takes the crayon from Brenda and Mary Anne gets her to come help with the babies.
Shortly afterwards, Rosie starts singing and doing some typical four-year old behavior and Gabbie tells her to be quiet.
Because only she and Myriah are allowed to get away with that shit and Rosie is talked about like she's a horrible child.
Speaking of adorable four year olds - on my birthday a few weeks ago, my four year old nephew came up to me and sang Happy Birthday to me - and then did it again the day afterwards. It was adorable and honestly? He made my birthday.
Rob feeds Lucy her dinner and it's cute. Mary Anne and Claud think he's future baby-sitter material. He learned about babies from a book called 'Babies in Space' and it reminds me of when the detective skills I learned watching Ghost Writer. I was able to use said skills during a mystery thing we did in high school and the teachers I questioned told the science teacher I had good interrogation skills.
The rest of the meal goes on and it's remarked that Rosie and Brenda don't sit next to each other because they're a bad combination. No, more like they're sisters. Brenda most likely thinks Rosie is a baby and Rosie wants to hang out with her big sis, but her big sis treats her like a dirty diaper.
Moving right along...
Chapter Seven
Dawn and company are headed to the beach and Jeff screams that they're going to the beach in their underwear because they're all wearing bikinis.
This chapter is mainly blond remarks and Dawn being surprised that the ocean water is cold. No shit, Dawn, it's called March. I assume it's March, as that's when most spring breaks take place. This is California, not Hawaii.
Dawn also thinks that Claudia would be building sandcastles if she was there. Riiiiight - she would be flirting with any guy over the age of twelve and under the age of thirty.
They have an unusual potato salad made with parsley and herbs. I think that's what is known as German Potato Salad, Dawn.
When they get home, Jack suggests that Dawn calls her mom, just to let her know how she's doing. Of course, Dawn immediately starts gushing about how much fun she's having and she notes at the end her mom sounds sad. Of course she does, Dawn. I'm guessing that Jack more or less told Sharon to get the fuck out of the house and you're all happy.
Your mother has the right to be sad.
There's not much more that's snarkable in this chapter.
Poor Sharon. None of this is your fault. Call Richard or Trip over for some snuggle time. I'm willing to bet that Trip is a very nice man.
Dawn wakes up in her old room in her dad's house and for a moment she feels like she might have never left.
She says that the sun is streaming through the windows because as we all know the sun never shines in Stoneybrook unless Kristy says it can. Dawn then smells breakfast cooking and she gets up, commenting on how open and wonderful the house is and so unlike her home in the on the other side of the country.
Dawn there's this little thing called architectural style. When your moms's house was built in the 1790s, the builders did not give a flying crap about big windows (not to mention glass was insanely expensive and full of lead), or open rooms. In that era, you didn't have a big open house unless you had a shit ton of money. Colonial farmhouses were built they way they were for function, not fashion. The rooms are the way they are so that the occupants could stay warm in the FRIGID winter weather.
Now Dawn goes on about the terra cotta floors throughout the house, the skylights in every room which seem to be a safety hazard to me in a house that's in an area prone to earthquakes. Her dad now has a house keeper who keeps the place sparkling clean.
Last time I checked, Sharon was scatterbrained, not dirty.
Dad (called Jack from here on out) announces that today they're going to Disneyland. Somehow the house moves from Palo City to Anaheim. Jeff hears they're going to the park and starts shouting out what he wants to do in the park. Jack grabs a sheet of paper and starts to make a list and Dawn quips that that's her dad, Mr. Organization.
This is starting to make me wonder what exactly caused Jack and Sharon to go their separate ways. Was Jack too OCD and was Sharon driving him mad with her leaving shoes in the crisper drawer? Inquiring minds want to know!
Seriously. I want to know. We know what happened to the McGills and the Thomases, what happened in the Schaffer house?
They head out to the park and I'm sort of surprised that Jack has to buy them all passes. You'd think he and Jeff would have season passes, as surely it's cheaper to purchase one than pay the full admission cost every time.
Jeff takes a ton of pictures of his sister, because he's a creeper.
Dawn buys all the BSC Mickey Mouse hats. I don't know if Stacey got one or not. I'm thinking Claudia wore hers to school at least once. Probably with a red polka dot dress, yellow high tops and a white lacy tights - or leggings and red push down socks. You pick.
The next is all rides and yada yada - Dawn of course, wants to ride the haunted mansion because ghost stories are her character trait. However, she lacks the awesomeness to be a Ghostfacer, because she would be a total groupie if she met a Supernatural-style ghost and be sort of shocked when the angry spirit chucked her through a wall.
Sorry, went into a better story there...
They eat lunch at a buffeteria which sounds horrifically unhealthy for our health-food obsessed girl. It also sounds like the sort of waste she'd freak out about.
Then again, theme park can be strangely good - the best brisket I've had that wasn't cooked by a member of my family was at Sea World in San Antonio.
Chapter Five
Dawn returns from Disneyland and goes over to her friend Sunny's house - only to get the biggest shock +not+ of her life. Her friend started her own branch of the BSC! Well, not exactly. Baby-sitting groups are not all connected to the Baby-Sitter's Club, no matter how much Kristy thinks they are.
There's mention of a book called Kids Can Cook, Naturally and Dawn thinks the BSC would freak out and hate the book because it's all natural food.
You would think that people in the 'brook subsist on nothing but junk food, the way Dawn talks.
I'm going to give the We Love Kids Club props for the following: there are no officers, the meetings relaxed - and the snacks... the snacks are way better. There's actually some thought put into them from Sunny, who makes apple slices with peanut butter for this meeting.
Dawn calls the club very California - and I call bullshit. It's not Californian Dawn, it's Kristy-free.
The We Love Kids Club isn't nearly as busy as the BSC. Either because the parents in Cali watch their own kids, have nannies, or have the sense not to let thirteen year olds watch their children. Take your pick.
Chapter Six
Babysitting in Stoneybrook. The Perkinses, the Newtons and the Feldmans. This is a painful chapter because the Feldmans act like normal children and are made to be monsters by the perfect Perkinses and the Newtons who are the little darlings of the the BSC and always will be.
Dawn tells us that Rob Feldman is a girl-hater. He's ten. At ten years old, most boys believe that girls have cooties and vice versa. The reason that the Pike triplets don't say anything is because they're terrified of their sisters. Particularly Claire.
Claudia and Mary-Anne are both there to watch the kids, since there's so many of them. The girls and Jamie are sitting at the table coloring and Rob is GASP! Watching TV!
Then comes the single biggest line of BS in this chapter. Mrs. Newton tells the girls that the kids will all go to bed between 7 to 7:30.
Riiiight. And I'm the tooth fairy. Pajamas I'll buy, sleeping - no way.
I also remain stunned that neither baby sitter tries to turn off the TV and make Rob do something else. They are later stunned when he rolls a ball back over to Lucy and Laura because they're girls.
Anyway, the coloring kids are going along nicely until Brenda Feldman breaks her brown crayon and then steals her sister's. Rosie, as any kid would do, gets pissed. Dawn snipes that Rosie was probably waiting for an opportunity to make a lot of noise. The fuck? Her sister just took something that belonged to her and she's mad as hell. Granted, screaming is not the best choice, but she's FOUR.
Claudia takes the crayon from Brenda and Mary Anne gets her to come help with the babies.
Shortly afterwards, Rosie starts singing and doing some typical four-year old behavior and Gabbie tells her to be quiet.
Because only she and Myriah are allowed to get away with that shit and Rosie is talked about like she's a horrible child.
Speaking of adorable four year olds - on my birthday a few weeks ago, my four year old nephew came up to me and sang Happy Birthday to me - and then did it again the day afterwards. It was adorable and honestly? He made my birthday.
Rob feeds Lucy her dinner and it's cute. Mary Anne and Claud think he's future baby-sitter material. He learned about babies from a book called 'Babies in Space' and it reminds me of when the detective skills I learned watching Ghost Writer. I was able to use said skills during a mystery thing we did in high school and the teachers I questioned told the science teacher I had good interrogation skills.
The rest of the meal goes on and it's remarked that Rosie and Brenda don't sit next to each other because they're a bad combination. No, more like they're sisters. Brenda most likely thinks Rosie is a baby and Rosie wants to hang out with her big sis, but her big sis treats her like a dirty diaper.
Moving right along...
Chapter Seven
Dawn and company are headed to the beach and Jeff screams that they're going to the beach in their underwear because they're all wearing bikinis.
This chapter is mainly blond remarks and Dawn being surprised that the ocean water is cold. No shit, Dawn, it's called March. I assume it's March, as that's when most spring breaks take place. This is California, not Hawaii.
Dawn also thinks that Claudia would be building sandcastles if she was there. Riiiiight - she would be flirting with any guy over the age of twelve and under the age of thirty.
They have an unusual potato salad made with parsley and herbs. I think that's what is known as German Potato Salad, Dawn.
When they get home, Jack suggests that Dawn calls her mom, just to let her know how she's doing. Of course, Dawn immediately starts gushing about how much fun she's having and she notes at the end her mom sounds sad. Of course she does, Dawn. I'm guessing that Jack more or less told Sharon to get the fuck out of the house and you're all happy.
Your mother has the right to be sad.
There's not much more that's snarkable in this chapter.
Poor Sharon. None of this is your fault. Call Richard or Trip over for some snuggle time. I'm willing to bet that Trip is a very nice man.