The Ghost at Dawn's House
Full Disclosure: As a kid, book didn't convince there were such things as ghosts (family members who still claim to have seen them, on the other hand...), but Dawn books in general convinced me every old house had a secret passage. Of course, they also convinced me that all the trees and the animals were going to die if I didn't make random save-the-planet speeches...
Chapter One
We get BSC-style screams. "AUGH!" "THAT'S DISGUSTING!" The occasion? Dawn went to California and got a tan and blonder hair. Lucky her; when I went to California I didn't get anything exceptionally "Cali" except a hamburger from the local In-N-Out. Also, I saw maybe five people with blonde hair the entire time.
There is some continuity here, I think - Dawn mentions that Mary Anne and Stacey were in Sea City with the Pikes, which I think may have been Boy Crazy Stacey? In any case, I'm impressed. I'm also impressed because Dawn mentions watching "European Vacation" with Chevy Chase on her flight. An actual 1980s movie? Wow! Sixteen Candles doesn't really count since I can't buy that AMM has actually seen it if she thinks it's Mary Anne's favorite movie.
Dawn talks about how her father's turned into a "Disneyland Daddy" who feels guilty and takes his kids everywhere on the rare occasions he has them. Which is actually true to a point and kind of sad. She contends that it's "better than no Dad at all."
Kristy orders them to, well, order, and Dawn explains that they're more like a business than a club. A family business, even. Robert De Niro explains it better. Claudia passes around the junk food and gives crackers to Dawn and Stacey, which I think is supposed to be nice but strikes me as patronizing. But I suppose 8th graders aren't good with tact.
Everyone talks about their exciting vacations... babysitting. Dawn talks about the kids she babysat, Clover and Daffodil. She explains that their parents were hippies and flower children, but admits to not knowing what that means. Claudia babysat some kid named Skip in New Hampshire, and Kristy met the Perkinses, who are AMM's special inserts. And Dawn feels great because there's more clients to meet and two weeks of vacation left.
Chapter Two
Dawn thinks her mother is like Oscar Madison, and that she's like Felix Unger. Like most 90's children, I've never seen The Odd Couple so I can't comment. Dawn is sad because she thought her mother was dating Mary Ann's father, but apparently she's been too busy to do even that. Either they broke up and it's too awkward to tell her daughter that she broke up with her best friend's father, or Sharon and Richard got very serious and it's not the time to tell your daughter you've gotten serious with her best friend's daughter. Sure, Dawn wants a stepsister now, but a lot of kids are fine with their mother or father's significant other and subsequent family until things get serious. We all know Sharon and Richard are going to get married eventually, so...
Dawn can't find Jeff, and looks for him in the barn. He jumps out at her and screams "boo!" - and Dawn thinks it's a ghost. Jeff accuses her of scaring him first, and they go back into the house to make dinner. Wow. That's two minutes of my life I'm not getting back.
Dawn explains how the house gives her the spooks because it's old, narrow, and looks like a dollhouse. She says that she thinks it must have a secret passage, because "all old houses have them." No, honey. No. The closest the old house I lived in came to having one was a connecting door. (Not that I checked or anything. Ahem.)
The Schafers start to eat outside, but have to go in because of thunder. Dawn goes to bed, reads a spooky book - and the lights flicker.
Dawn's first thought isn't "oh shit, the power's going to go out," but "weren't there tricky spirits called poltergeists that could cause things like that?"
Then Dawn hears the BIG noise - the rata-tat-a on the wall. She screeches, "ee-iii!" I respond with, "oo-uuu!" Poor "aa" feels left out now. :(
We're going to do the next part in pseudo script format.
Sharon: WTF?
Dawn: The lights are flickering and I hear things!
Sharon: There's a storm. We live in an old house. Go to bed.
Dawn still feels creeped out. I half want to laugh at her, half want to sympathize because when you're thinking about ghosts (I forgot to mention she was reading a book about them), you kind of think everything's a ghost. But still, Dawn, there was obviously a storm. It's creepier when things are quiet and out of nowhere you hear some random voice talking. Or see someone when nobody's there.
Chapter Three
The next day Dawn is babysitting at the Barrett's, and it's raining. Dawn trips on the grass, and Buddy tells her to have a nice "trip" and that he'll see her next "fall." Haha. Brat.
Dawn goes home (seriously, why is this book jumping around so quickly? It's giving me a headache), and plans on reading more ghost stories to scare the shit out of herself. But she decides first to search her house for a secret passage, and calls Mary Anne. She says, word for word and with no trace of irony, "I have this great idea. I want to invite the whole club to my house and we'll search for a hidden passage."
Mary Anne says that sounds fun, and she knows they're all free because nobody has anything on the appointment calendar. So apparently they have to write down every single plan they may have that day. That's almost a little creepy, and I don't mean because of ghosts. (Hey, maybe this book is a warning that there will soon be ghostwriters? Just a thought...)
Everyone shows up an hour later, and Dawn announces that they have to be "scientific" about this. She uses Nancy Drew as an example. Dawn wants to split up, which terrifies Mary Anne, probably because she knows if she chooses Dawn, Kristy might finally lose it. Dawn suggests two teams, with Claudia, Stacey and Kristy on one, herself and Mary Anne on the other. Given how Mary Anne tends to freak out at the sight of measuring tape, I think it makes more sense for her to go with someone more... collected than Dawn's being in this situation. But whatever.
Dawn tells a scary story, and Mary Anne and Stacey get the heebie jeebies. Kristy calls them scaredy cats and says they ought to be on the same team. Nice, Kristy. Stacey realizes right away that she's being patronized, but it either goes over Mary Anne's head or she's being passive and not biting back.
Dawn assigns Kristy and Claudia jobs (feeling for hidden springs and shining flashlights respectively - Dawn gets to tap the walls), which annoys Kristy because Dawn is evil or something. They search Jeff's room, and Dawn reasons that this is okay because "we're just looking at his walls." Then Dawn says they can search her own room, and Dawn taps on the first three walls. Nothing happens - then she hears a "rap rap thud thud." They waited for something to open or fly out at them, but instead... nothing happens. Wow.
They decide to explore the attic. Or Kristy does - Dawn is freaked out by the idea, and thinks the sound of lightning is a sign that it's a bad idea. Mmmhmm. Kristy finally loses her patience and says, "it's all this ghost stuff that's stupid."
Instead of getting offended, Dawn lets Kristy lead them to the attic. The door slams shut halfway up and they all clamor down. Then they hear it - a low moan and a growl. A three headed dog was waking up before them - oops, sorry, wrong trio. But they really do hear a moan, a growl, and scream their heads off.
Mary Anne and Stacey are behind the door, laughing their heads off. Didn't see that coming. They practically high-five each other and saunter off. Dawn declares "war."
So the three girls go to the heating vent and begin to make noises through it, as it goes all the way to the den. Stacey and Mary Anne start to shriek, and then Dawn sees a green hand on her shoulder.
Naturally, it's Jeff in a Halloween costume. Needless to say, everyone screams collectively while Jeff laughs hysterically. Which kind of looks like a horror movie in my head...
ETA: Eep, so sorry about the cut! Hopefully it's fixed now.