#33 Claudia and the Great Search part four
Here it is. Merry Frelling Christmas.
Chapter thirteen! Emily arrives at Claud's house for a tutoring session. This book doesn't really give a time frame for how long Claud's been tutoring Emily, but it happens in the same amount of time Claud believes herself to be adopted, so I'm thinking it's been a couple of weeks if that much. Emily Michelle is now verbal... she can say "hi" and "bye" and call people by adorable shortenings of their names. "Charlie" is "shar-ee" and yes, he's the one taking her to her tutoring. Elizabeth couldn't even be bothered to drive her own daughter to Claudia's twice a week. But I do like to think that Charlie's going to spend the hour having extremely scandalous quality time with Janine, who comes out to say hello to Emily and gives her a red balloon. She calls Janine "Nee-nee" and demands the balloon be "bwon up" after saying "Fank you." Then it's time for a counting lesson. Emily has heard the numbers chanted on Sesame Street, but doesn't understand the concept of counting yet. When Claudia asks her to count, she just goes through all the numbers: "one two free foe five sick seben eight nine ten."
Claudia arranges some cutout shapes on the floor and slowly, patiently, shows Emily how to stop counting when she reaches the end. They count things for an hour; then Claud sweetly gives Emily a piece of candy and Shar-ee drives her home.
This is all very sweet, but there's just one problem... it's nearly impossible for a delayed child to catch up so quickly. Emily in this chapter is almost where she should be instead of a year and a half behind. The only example I've ever heard of, of a child catching up to a speech delay this fast, is a case of a friend of mine whose previously nonverbal two-year-old was suddenly speaking in sentences after her abusive pot head father was thrown out of the house. Basically, if Claudia is able to make this much progress with Emily in this little time just by getting her out of the Brewer mansion twice a week, this says even worse things than we've previously said about Watson. Though it does explain why he's so keen on gardening...
After Emily leaves, Claudia listens to make sure Janine is completely absorbed in her computer. She's determined to call Wyoming to see if she can catch up with the Hos *still shuddering at that name in a children's book* and she doesn't want to get caught.
Claudia calls Wyoming, which fortunately has only one zip code, and says she needs the phone number for a family named Ho who lives in Cuchara. Apparently Cuchara is a swingin' place, because there are three Hos listed there: Mary Ho, Sidney and Shiela Ho, and Barry and Patty Ho.
Mary Ho is fortunate, and does not answer her phone.
Patty Ho answers and is flabbergasted when Claudia launches into a pitch about "Congratulations! Your daughter Resa has won..."
Patty interrupts Claudia to say that actually, her thirteen-year-old daughter's name is Pamela.
Claudia asks if Patty knows of any Resas in Cuchara. She really does. Patty does not. Claud says it's a shame, because Resa would have won a twenty-one-inch television and VCR.
Barry Ho's son answers the phone-- he is fourteen and has two younger brothers. I like how AMM specifically states his age, lest we imagine that perhaps this is Resa Ho after a sex change.
Claudia calls Stacey and announces that she's found her birth mother: Mary Ho.
Stacey patiently explains that it is possible that Claud wasn't born in Stonybrook, which means that there's quite a chance she ain't no Ho. They're not even 100% sure she's adopted.
Claud cries that SHE's sure. She's the only stupid one in the family, damn it, and she doesn't look like anyone else! She's not even sure she's 100% Asian! Now, I happen to have cousins who are 50% Asian (half-Chinese and half-Irish), and I can definitively state that they don't look 100% Asian. I don't really think it's possible for someone to be only half Asian and have the jet-black hair, tan skin and "almond eyes" of a Claudia, any more than it's possible for a white woman to sleep with a man who has an African-American ancestor and randomly end up with a baby who looks completely black. That's not how genetics work. And while we're on the subject, I'm more than a little miffed at the whole maybe-I'm-not-Japanese-maybe-I'm-another-Asian train of thought AMM is putting into Claudia's head here. I know AMM is whiter than white and, judging from her biography, was probably well out of college before she met someone of another race, if she ever did. And I know some clueless white people honestly can't tell the difference between Asian nationalities-- whether a person looks Japanese, Chinese, Hawaiian, Vietnamese (which I imagine is what the "Ho" name is supposed to be) or anything else. But I usually can, and I'm as white as Ann. And I'm positive Asian people can. Japanese people and Hawaiians or whatever actually don't look that much alike. Making Claudia wonder what kind of strange exotic Asian she really is just makes the character sound painfully like a clueless white person, and I don't think that's what Ann had in mind when she designed her diverse group of characters.
Stacey reminds Claud that family members aren't always alike. She's the only diabetic McGill. Becca is the only shy Ramsey. Nicky Pike is... whatever he is. Stacey warns claud that she's only going to feel at peace about this whole thing if she actually talks to her parents.
Claudia reluctantly agrees to do so.
Chapter fourteen! Claudia determines to ask her parents if she's adopted after dinner, which turns into the most awkward meal in history complete with fork-dropping, absent-minded muttering of "what? What?" and Rioko feeling Claud's forehead to see if she's sick. Claud doesn't want to pop the awkward question in front of Janine, because she's Janine and she's not allowed to know if her sister is adopted, or something. We're actually not told why Claud wants to leave Janine out of it.
At the end of the meal, Rioko and Mr. Kishi force Janine to do the dishes while they talk to Claud in private. Janine protests like a normal teenager and even whines "Okay" when they won't take no for an answer. I like this normal teenager Janine. I hope that after she finishes the dishes, she short-sheets Claudia's bed or replaces her shampoo with Nair.
Rioko and Mr. Kishi (I already forget if he had a name) usher Claudia into the study and ask her to come clean about why she's so nervous. Claud starts to cry as she accuses her parents of LYING, but they still don't get it. Then she sobs that they should have told her she's "an adopted baby."
Above her parents' adorable stammers of "But- But-," Claudia presents her evidence, such as it is. When she's finished, she demands that they tell her the real story.
Claudia says she bets "they didn't think I was smart enough to figure things out."
Claudia's mother firmly answers that she's not adopted.
Claudia says "Then I'm your real kid?" which makes me want to eat a roll of tinfoil. An adopted child IS HER ADOPTIVE PARENTS' REAL KID, just as much as the biological children are. Ann, you are a rude bitch. There, I said it and I'd say it again.
Her parents explain that there aren't as many photos of Claud because she's the second daughter. Oldest kids always get the most pictures because everything is new to the parents. This is probably true, but it's mean anyway and I resolve to take as many photos as possible of any other children I have. Then they explain that all families have "different" members. Think of Rioko and Murasaki/Peaches! And as for looks, Mimi looked just like Claud as a teenager and they've got a photo to prove it. And Claud's birth announcement was not in the Stonybrook News because it was published in the Stonybrook Gazette.
Then her parents show her the famous locked box, which turns out to have five hundred dollars' cash in it "for emergencies." This raises more questions than it answers, to me. What kind of emergency requires five hundred dollars cash? This is never explained.
Chapter fifteen! Claud has hung Mimi's photo and her own side by side in a single frame over her desk. She will take it with her to college "if I could get into any college."
Stacey sees the photo, agrees that Mimi could have solved this family problem, and says "I guess we just have to learn to get along without some of the people we love, though." Claud knows she's talking about Mr. McGill, even though Mr. McGill is not dead and Stacey sees him several times a month. This doesn't seem like the same thing to me.
Stacey gets into bed, complaining of exhaustion. Claud mentions that she looks very thin and pale lately. I thought that when diabetes was out of control, it would cause people to gain weight, not lose it, but I admit to knowing nothing about diabetes. Or perhaps AMM couldn't stand to have a sympathetic character with a weight problem. I don't think she thinks they exist. Then Kristy comes in for the meeting and reveals that Emily has been reevaluated by the preschool. She'll be going to preschool in the fall, when she's three, just like Karen and Andrew did at the same age! Oh thank the good Lord. I don't know how the Brewers could have borne having a child who was *shudder* delayed any longer. They probably would have sent Emily back to the orphanage and had to stay inside with the curtains drawn out of a decent sense of shame. Now, if only the time warp ever ends, Emily can be shipped off to pre-school so Elizabeth can have one less little burden at home. Elizabeth wants Claudia to continue her tutoring sessions until then.
Claudia calls the Brewers to schedule some more times.
"Hey-oh," says Emily, which is the exact same way my daughter pronounces the word.
The sitters take turns talking to Emily during precious meeting time.
After the meeting ends, Claud looks up at her photo and is grateful to be Mimi's "real" granddaughter. Then she and Janine decide to make dinner together.
Didn't think I'd ever really get through that. Next, I'll be snarking one of AMM's early works, the infamously melodramatic Missing Since Monday! My copy of which, strangely, has gone missing since I set it down. On Saturday. See you soon, folks!