Beware, Dawn Chapters 1-5
Chapter 1
Dawn is babysitting for the Hobarts. The youngest boy, Johnny, is playing find the picture in a magazine. Dawn says she loves babysitting because every kid is different. You only love the kids’ differences when it doesn’t clash with your likes. If they like something you dislike, they are horrible children. Dawn says that it takes a lot of experience to know what each kid will like. Have you considered letting them entertain themselves for a change?
Dawn brags that she has a lot of experience babysitting children. You’re thirteen, Dawn. You’re a child. I can’t take you seriously when you brag about how much experience you have with children because you’re a child yourself. Dawn introduces herself and says she lives in Connecticut. She didn’t always live in Connecticut. She’s originally from California. She says California as though she expects us to be impressed. I’m positive Stacey does the same thing when she mentions she’s from New York. I can just imagine her pausing so that people can gasp over this. I really don’t care about California or New York that much, so those statements would probably only merit, “That’s nice,” and slight small talk.
Dawn talks about her family a little bit and wants to know how she got to talking about Tigger when she was telling us about her sitting job. It’s because you just had to turn to the audience and introduce yourself, because we would be totally lost if we didn’t know you were from California. We also couldn’t wait to learn that your mother married Mary Anne’s father and Mary Anne has a kitten named Tigger.
Back to the sitting job. Dawn is still going on about how clever she is for thinking up individual activities for each kid. Again I say, let them entertain themselves. James and Matthew are playing in the yard by themselves. Ben is out with Mallory. Would Dawn really need to babysit Ben if he’s Mallory’s age? If anything, he’d probably just help out with his siblings. Wouldn’t it be awkward if Mallory’s sort-of-boyfriend was being babysat by her friends?
James and Matthew are playing with Nicky and two other kids, Zack and Mel. Dawn wouldn’t call them bad kids, but they do like to tease kids who are different from them, such as Susan. So let me get this straight. Kids who persecute other kids for being different aren’t bad kids. Kids who make up lies about their neighbors and trick kids into believing scary stories aren’t bad kids. But kids who like to be clean are horrible. Dawn, you dubbed Buddy, Suzi, and Marnie the Impossible Three because they had a messy house, spilled juice, wanted more cereal, weren’t dressed at eight in the morning on Saturday, and didn’t follow your idiotic schedule to the minute. Have you ever met a kid?
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised at Dawn’s attitude. The BSC does not have the most tolerant attitude when it comes to people who are different from them. Mel starts bullying the Hobarts because they’re Australian. Dawn believes that kids who are bullies have other problems and they take it out on everyone else. This leads her to talk about how Jeff had an attitude problem because he couldn’t adjust to Connecticut. So one of Dawn’s charges is being bullied and she stops to talk about her life. I wonder if the charges ever get in trouble because these girls are too busy daydreaming about their life stories and their friends to pay attention to them. The teasing hasn’t stopped, so Dawn tries to pretend she’s in charge. You are in charge, Dawn. She tells Zack and Mel to stop teasing the Hobarts. This reminds me of some of my teachers. They’d tell my classmates to stop their behavior and my classmates would listen for about two minutes before starting back up again. I’m guessing the teasing will start up again shortly.
The soccer game starts up again. Dawn says there’s not really that much she can do about the situation. So Dawn will be one of those teachers who make a half-assed attempt to control her students before saying, “Fuck it.” Kristy will be the type of teacher who won’t do anything about bullying because she believes the kids need to have thicker skin. I also have the feeling that Kristy might think that some kids brought it upon themselves. She’ll probably think that the kids are being too sensitive because she personally doesn’t see anything wrong with the bully’s taunts because she wouldn’t be offended herself.
Dawn turns to Johnny. She calls Johnny determined. Dawn calls herself determined. Are you going to find some way to relate what your charges are doing to yourself? Dawn says she tries not to let people’s opinions bother her too much. Yeah, but if she disagrees with their opinions, she has no trouble talking about why her opinions are superior. Dawn is an individual because she doesn’t follow fashion trends at all. She wears her hair straight down her back. And she’s an individual because of that? Lots of people wear their hair that way, don’t they? It’s not an uncommon hairstyle. She dresses in bright colors and likes to play around with her earrings. She says that people may think she’s weird, but she doesn’t care.
You’re friend with Claudia. Claudia is regarded as one of the best dressers in the school. I doubt you’d be a pariah because you wear bright clothes. You’d probably be a pariah because you’re an obnoxious, preachy jerk. I think Dawn just likes to go around shouting that she’s an individual because she needs validation that she is one. I don’t think individuals have to constantly point out what individuals they are.
Dawn’s also an individual when it comes to food. She’s the only teenager on the planet who dislikes junk food. Stop acting like no one else can possibly like what you do just to make yourself seem like an individual. I’m sure there are other people who enjoy health food besides Dawn. I’m going to feel dirty when I eat health food because I’ll be thinking of Dawn and her smug, self-righteous face. I can just see Dawn making a big production about her lunch at the cafeteria so she can go on about what an individual she is. I don’t think anyone cares that Dawn eats tofu. I think they wish she’d stop making faces when they eat Doritos and stop glaring when they eat a ham sandwich.
Mrs. Hobart arrives and stops Dawn from talking about the ghost in her secret passage. I need to get my mind out of the gutter because that sounded like a hentai film title. Maybe it sounds like a Nancy Drew title as well. I wonder if there was a Nancy Drew book about ghosts in secret passages. Ben and Mallory come walking up. They look good together because they both have red hair and glasses. Ben and Mallory clearly have something going on, so Dawn thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to go to Mary Anne and gossip with her about Mallory’s blossoming romance. I don’t mind discussing my love life with my friends sometimes, but I would prefer if they didn’t go rushing off to tell each other every time they see a guy smile at me.
Chapter 2
Mary Anne gets teary-eyed when she hears the news of Mallory and Ben becoming an item. Mary Anne cries at sappy television commercials. What book did Mary Anne cry over a Christmas tree being thrown out? Have you guys had those moments when you’re only able to recall one detail from a book but you can’t recall anything else?
Time for a brief history of Mary Anne’s past. She isn’t the wildest dresser. So she has to dress wildly in order to have any worth? Let’s say that Mary Anne wasn’t in the BSC and her father didn’t lighten up. She’d be looked down upon as a loser crybaby then. I also don’t see why it’s such a big deal that a shy person can have a boyfriend. Do you think the only people who can have boyfriends are extroverts? Don’t answer that.
Dawn talks about Kristy next. She says Kristy and Mary Anne must have a lot in common because they look alike. So by that logic I should run up to a black person with black hair and declare them my new best friend? They must love reading and writing because we look alike so we have to have that in common, right? Dawn mentions that clothes aren’t important to Kristy. I think personal hygiene isn’t important to Kristy.
Mentioning clothes means mentioning Claudia. Dawn talks about how she wishes she looks as exotic as Claudia. Have you considered going to an area where there aren’t a lot of white blondes? Maybe you’ll look exotic then. It’s not like there’s a bunch of Japanese-American families in Stoneybrook. Dawn has tried to lecture Claudia about her junk food habits. Real individuals wouldn’t care that their friends had different culinary preferences from them. But no, Dawn has to try to persuade people to think the way she does, instead of leaving them alone and eating her health food in silence. Dawn is really lucky that Claudia bothers to buy her special snacks. There is no way in hell Dawn would show the same courtesy to Claudia.
Stacey is sophisticated because she’s from New York. She’s from the richer side, right? It’s not like these people realize that New York has non-Gossip Girl like areas. Stacey is good at applying make-up. The other girls at school wear too much make-up and look like unwholesome whores. These girls are thirteen. Maybe the girls at school haven’t learned to put on makeup very well yet. Maybe they’re experimenting.
Mallory is stuck in the stage where she wants t grow up but her parents won’t let her. I can understand this. I did grow up and realize I might have been unreasonable a few times, but I wasn’t mature enough to see that my parents had points when I was eleven. Mallory and Jessi are pretty different, because Jessi is black and Mallory is white. Would it kill you to talk about other differences? I’m black. I have a white friend. When I talk about her differences, I don’t talk about how she’s white. I talk about how she laughs easier than I do and is more hyper and dislikes tattoos while I like them.
Dawn feels pretty lucky to have the BSC as her friends. I would not feel lucky to have these girls as my friends. If I had them as my friends, I’d prefer to be alone until I found friends that weren’t such jerks.
Chapter 3
Everyone knows that Mallory and Ben went to the library together and want her to spill. I would have blushed and told them to mind their own business. I wouldn’t want the spotlight to be put on me like that. For a second I thought that Kristy was being sensitive by telling Claudia to leave Mallory alone, but she’s only doing this because the BSC meeting needs to start. Jessi says that Ben thinks Mallory is a great girl. I wonder how she knows that. I’m thinking that Mallory called Jessi up to talk excitedly about that. I texted my best friend right away when I was kissed for the first time.
I love how Dawn says that we might be wondering how clients know the BSC number. I’m assuming they put up fliers and ads like businesses do. Maybe they have some super secret way of communicating, with passwords and everything. No, it’s just run-of-the-mill, word-of-mouth advertising, along with newspaper ads and flyers.
Mrs. Newton calls for a sitter for Jamie. The club loves Jamie. This is probably because Jamie is always agrees with them and never argues. They go back to discussing Mallory and Ben. Ben called Mallory a bonzer Sheila, which means a terrific girl. Sheila comes from the word they use for kangaroo, which sets the whole club into a laughing fit.
Chapter 4
Dawn is babysitting for Karen, Andrew,Emily and David Michael while Kristy goes shopping with her mother. Kristy isn’t looking forward to going shopping. Dawn thinks this is because Kristy doesn’t wear a variety of clothes, so shopping is boring to her. I don’t like shopping because when I go with my mother she always has to look at stuff and try on clothes, despite saying that we won’t be long. I’d rather just get some sneakers and be done with it, but my mom has to push me to try on other shoes despite my saying which ones I want. Then she has to look at high heels.
Dawn offers the kids some Cheez-its. I thought you were supposed to give the kids healthy snacks and not ask them what they wanted because it might lead to conflict. Dawn wants the kids to pass the Cheez-it box around. Karen says that’s not how you eat Cheez-its. Shut up, Karen. Maybe I would have let it slide if she said, “That’s not how we eat Cheez-its, because I would pour Cheez-its in a bowl instead of just passing the box around. I wouldn’t want to wait my turn again. But Karen said, “That’s not how you eat Cheez-its,” meaning that everyone must eat Cheez-its the way she does. The kids have to pour the snack in a bowl, make sure they have equal amounts, and see who can eat them the slowest.
Dawn agrees. She asks what’s going on with the kids and Karen says the goldfish are getting married. Dawn is feeling tired and not up to being Super Sitter. She thinks it’s good that the kids are entertaining themselves. The kids are capable of entertaining themselves if only you would let them. But you guys have to force them to play what you want so you can feel that you have good ideas.
David Michael isn’t in the room. So? He’s old enough to wander off in his own house without Dawn following him. David Michael comes and snaps a picture of Dawn. David Michael says it will look great in the newspaper, if Dawn wins. Kids at school decided to hold a Sitter of the Month Contest. Are you kidding me? I can understand if a couple of the charges got together, since some of them are friends, but the school? Just how many kids do the BSC babysit? There must be some parents who take their kids with them when they go out or ask the neighbor to babysit. I don’t think kids would have a contest to choose the Sitter of the Month. I bet this is a scam. They must have found out how bent out of shape these girls get when a kid likes someone else more than them and decided to use it to their advantage. All they have to do is say, “Claudia would let me do this. I bet she’d make a great sitter of the month,” and then they’d fall over themselves to do whatever the kids want.
Whoever is the nicest, most fun, and responsible babysitter will win the contest. Well then, Kristy and Dawn are right out when it comes to the nicest category. Dawn thinks she’s been pretty nice because she gave the kids a snack and listened to Karen. I agree that it’s a task to listen to Karen and not tell her that she’s full of shit and to shut up, but really, Dawn? You expect a reward because you listened to Karen? I know I pat myself on the back when I don’t tell my thirteen-year-old cousin to shut up when she talks to me about her problems. Isn’t that just being polite?
Little Miss Individual says this sounds like a great contest, because she’s such an individual that she needs to be validated by a bunch of kids. She decides to kiss ass by playing Let’s All Come in. So you decide to kiss Karen’s ass. David Michael and Andrew aren’t wild about the game, but we have to play what Karen likes. Andrew doesn’t want to be the dog. I would have bitten Karen if I was him. David Michael says the game is dumb and for babies. Dawn says it isn’t for babies because she’s playing. Dawn, you’re kissing up to Karen. There’s a difference.
Dawn decides to invent some new characters. I don’t know why Dawn doesn’t just let David Michael entertain himself, but everyone must participate in the designated activity. I always hated shit like that. I have no interest in your game. David Michael agrees and Dawn says that well on her way to becoming Sitter of the Month. I don’t get too upset at the thought that my younger cousins might like my brother better than me. They’re little kids. I don’t like playing games and running around, but he’s more patient and fun than I am. I’m better at listening to problems and helping with homework. That does come in handy with my preteen cousins.
Chapter 5
I wasn’t paying attention and thought that Claudia was giving Stacey a massage because Stacey couldn’t reach her back. They’re joking around and Kristy gets a stick up her ass because they aren’t discussing club business. I would have given a death glare right back at Kristy if I were Claudia and mentioned that this was my room and my phone line, so she should treat me with respect. Exactly what kind of club business do you need to talk about, aside from the Sitter of the Month contest?
They start talking about the Sitter of the Month contest and take it way too seriously. I still say the kids are exploiting the sitters’ insecurities. Jessi says it will be an honor to win. I can just see Jessi filling out a yearbook and writing, “Being nominated Sitter of the Month” as her greatest accomplishment. They start discussing how they’re going to be judged. I think they’ll nominate the sitter that lets them get away with the most shit and plays what they want. Dawn says that they have to know what makes kids like certain sitters. This really isn’t rocket science. This isn’t plans for war, either. It’s a simple contest. Calm down.
Kristy gets mad because her stepsiblings liked Dawn. I guess I can understand being insecure about your family members liking someone more than you. Kristy snipes at Dawn. Mary Anne looks upset at the thought of competition. She’s the type of person who will cry at contests or any other events of a competitive nature because why can’t we all just get along? I do think she has a point about not letting the contest get out of hand. Too late. Every time a kid likes a sitter, everyone else has to talk about why that sitter sucks and why that kid is an idiot and how they are so much better than that stupid sitter. I can just imagine Mallory and Jessi sitting on the floor and rolling their eyes like, “Here we go again.”
They bring up other incidents where the girls let their competitive natures get the best of them and ended up looking like jerks. I love the Little Miss Stoneybrook contest. I think it’s hilarious because Charlotte didn’t have a problem with the babysitters. She just wanted Claudia because Claudia babysitting her would comfort her. But no, Charlotte is horrible for requesting Claudia. They never had problems with Stacey’s bond with Charlotte before, did they?
I also think it’s hilarious because I don’t know how a charge winning the pageant means that they’re good babysitters. Kristy says she likes to win. There’s a difference between being competitive and being a jerk who insults the competition to make themselves feel better. Dawn wonders if she was campaigning on her last job. Well, you did decide to play Let’s All Come in and took extra measures to make sure David Michael had fun. She gets a job sitting for Jackie and his family and wants to impress them. What were you saying about being an individual, Dawn? I can understand wanting to win a contest, but wouldn’t someone who doesn’t care about what others think of her just say, “That’s cool,” and go back to babysitting without kissing up to the kids.