Reader's Request: Shannon's Story Chapters 8-15
Let the awkwardness continue.....
Chapter 8: Shannon’s dad sucks at life.
It’s Mother’s Day! I am prepared, I have my drink in hand and a surly attitude for Mr. Kilbourne, who I feel sure will fuck the day up. Asshole. I hope your pretty little college student girlfriend wises up and leaves your for her PHILOSOPHY professor. So, anyways, even in her anger at her mom, Sha-Kil feels bad for her mom, who is still mad at her dad and is just having a shitty year in general, it appears. In the AM, the Sisters Blonde do actually do a wonderful job of pampering their mom, and everyone is truly excited to present her with gifts and see her be happy. Then it happens. As I knew it would. Someone wants to go get Daddy. But Daddy is not there. Daddy left a note that on his ONE DAY OFF IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG, rather than spend it with the family he has so neglected lately, not to mention on a HOLIDAY, he had gone to play golf. This is when I know he is a CHEATER, because where did he find friends to go with? Most of his friends must be his age, and most people his age would have wives and kids, and therefore would have said they could not attend a golf outing as they would have been refused sex from their wives for the next 6 months. HE IS A LIAR AND HE MUST BE MADE TO PAY. Daddy shows up later, after Shannon gets caught lying about her mom-match dress, and has a chocolate box and a card. The card says Happy Birthday and her mom screams about it being an emergency gift he keeps for anytime he forgets some occasion and needs something quick and it is obvious she is right. Ouch, for realz. That is hateful and her dad is a sucky husband. And being a sucky dad right now too. They still go out to lunch together, with everyone pretending to be happy and SO over it. Later, Shannon snaps at her mom, and feels horrifically guilty since her mom had such a bad day. This is sad. Shannon has to walk on eggshells and bite her tongue over true issues with her mom that needs to be addressed, all because of guilt over the way her dad treats her mom.
Chapter 9: Somebody put on some Bikini Kill, cuz this bitch just got PUNK AS HELL.
School is almost over and the Paris trip is looming ever closer. I feel sad at the part where Shannon is seriously depressed about her mom coming on the trip but can’t manage to express that to her friends. I feel you girl. Do you want to go get Starbucks with me and have a heart to heart? The Shanster is seriously viewing her Paris trip now as a nightmare. So she gets an idea. She purposefully fails her French final.
OK, we need to stop right here. I have been pretty darn positive about this book so far. But here, we cross the line. But wait no. As I sit here thinking about it, it’s really NOT that unrealistic. Shannon is 13. 13 year olds, despite what AMM has tried to convince you in the character of Kristy, are not exactly confrontational and in control of their emotions. They see a problem, and look for the quickest way out, consequences be damned. And let’s face it, while the more rational thing would have been to talk to her mom, what would it have really done? Moms don’t change. I understand this. It’s just easier for me to adapt myself to what will make my life more comfortable. So this action to me, at least, makes sense. Maybe I am just emotionally stunted, I don’t know.
When that walking ball of future resentment, Mom, finds out, she is all KINDS of suspect about this. She doesn’t believe for one second Shannon would fail such an important test, but she is WAY too lost in the Land of Denial to think Shannon did this on purpose. She turns the cards and tells Shannon that she will be responsible for the week she is gone with all the duties her mom usually does. Shannon is all WHHHHATTTT? Since her mom treats her like such a toddler all the time, but I see no surprise since Daddy dearest will probably be holed up in Holiday Inn all week, so who else will make sure there are no satanic rituals and/or Hunger Game reenactments during the week?
Chapter 10: Last day of school, then BSC meeting. Really. That’s it.
It’s the last day of school, and Shannon gets all nostalgic. Don’t stress, you’ll be back to eighth grade in 3 more chapters! Don’t worry you’re pretty little head over time ACTUALLY lapsing! Silly girl. After school she goes to a BSC meeting. What? That’s really it. I warned you in the chapter title.
Chapter 11: It’s really not that hard. I do it all week, and even manage to do that thing called…called…um….oh yeah! WORK.
Shannon’s mom is leaving for Paris today. Her dad will be taking a work related trip right after to a remote cabin in Infidelity City, Utah, so they are all lovey dovey at breakfast. Shannon mentions her dad has a beeper. Great, now he’s a drug lord too. Jesus, Mr. Kilbourne, slow your roll. Since Shannon’s mom will be gone all week, their housekeeper will be coming in extra time, 3 full days and 2 half days. Why do they have a housekeeper when her mom doesn’t work? I don’t have a housekeeper and I work 40 hours a week. I still manage to keep the house from being condemned. The rest of the chapter is full of belly clenching anecdotes about various household mishaps, none of which are serious or entertaining. Oh no! The housekeeper didn’t get her fav brand of furniture polish! Guess Mr. Kilbourne’s desk won’t have that “just had sex on here with some random chick” shine like usual. I don’t like you, Shannon’s dad. Just so you know.
Chapter 12: Obligatory BSC over involvement in with youths, anyone?
It’s the day of the softball game. YAWN. I think softball is lame. Sorry, I just do. So this is even lamer for me than usual. Ha-ha, Bart is there. I always like Bart. There is no one else in the tri county area that would like Kristy, so she really just needs to seal the deal with this one. Possibly go ahead and put out. I’m just saying. Shannon dumps Tiffany off with Claudia and Mallory. Check this peeps. Why does Tiffany, aged 11, need to be babysat by Mallory…aged 11. And speaking of, Tiffany really needs to pull her weight around the house too. Why is just Shannon always in charge and having to be the adult? Man up, Tiff. Get out of the garden and get into REAL LIFE. There is a long description of the ballgame that affords me plenty of time to catch up on drinking.
Chapter 13: Holy Shit, this game had bled into another chapter.
SPOILER ALERT: Moms win. Sorry. Shannon comments on how the other moms have such busy, full lives. Yes, working will do that for you. Walking home, they see tons of families outside, playing, or as they peer into other people’s windows (?) families working together and having just a BLAST. When Shannon gets home, her dad is still not home (hey, why bother to get home in a timely fashion when your overly mature 13 year daughter has been guilted into running the household? I’M WATCHING YOU, MR. KILBOURNE). The dinner the Sisters Blonde have is quiet, but in a good way, and Shannon is kind of sorry that her parents will be back soon. Ouch.
Chapter 14: Shannon Kilbourne, Overachiever.
Shannon is going over the house with a fine tooth comb to make sure she has covered everything. Everything is in place and her lame ass Dad is at the golf course again (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU ARE THE WORST DAD EVER), and she finds herself bored. She realizes this must be how her mom feels (Very astute Captain Obvious. Despite your overly mature sensitivity in every other chapter, you are just now realizing this?). She decides her mom needs a welcome home party (somewhere, Kristy’s hair just stood on end at the mere mention of a get together without her involvement). They do some prep work, and Dead-beat-dad-except-with-money comes home. Shannon thinks at first that he forgot their mom was coming home tomorrow (he claims not) and pull him out on the back porch. Then we are all reminded that this is a BSC novel, and there WILL be an adolescent/adult conversation with the kid is way, way more right. God, no wonder teens are such self-righteous fuck heads. But it’s not too bad here. Shannon’s dad thanks her for taking charge and she just says something about understanding why her mom might seem so lonely. Her dad gets all guilty (should he dump BOTH college girlfriends, or just the one who seems most mentally unstable? Decisions, decisions….) and then they decide to go out to dinner. OK, I can live with that. It’s just a teenager making a comment. Not an entire chapter dedicated to how a BSC member has changed their lives, their parent’s lives, and the entire world in one fail swoop. Shannon wonders if this break from each other has made her parents realize how much they still cared for each other, but were just so locked into patterns that made it so hard for them to see/admit it. The chapter ends all hopeful and shit. Aw.
Chapter 15: Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket.
Shannon’s mom is arriving late afternoon, and her dad even shows up early to go get her. He is hums the whole time and buys her mom some flowers. Aw. Guilt can be so SWEET. When her mom gets off the plane, Shannon looks at her as if she not her mom, and notices how smart and put together she can look. And Shannon’s dad rescheduled his trip so he can be part of her homecoming. Shannon talks about how if you could see her family thru the windows that night, you would have thought they were perfect, and you would have been wrong. Her parents are still a bit formal, and her mom still drives her crazy with nagging comments. But there is so much less of the old tension, and that everyone was really putting forth an effort. GASP. A realistic ending? Oui, bitches. Oui. There is a mom-daughter chat (oh, GOD, give it a rest! )and Shannon expresses a desire to have her own life (how dare she?). Since Shannon and I are platonic soul mates, she takes my advice and tells her mom maybe it would be good for her to get a job. Shannon’s mom agrees and talks about the new friends she made on the trip, who conveniently call while they chat. Shannon tentatively wonders if they can become a real family again, and SCENE. That’s all she wrote. Shannon simply had to lose out on the most exciting experience in her young life to fix all the adults in her family’s lives. Simple. She’ll just live with this resent filled secret for the rest of her life. Small price to pay.
This was kind of emotional for me, guys. Just so you know.