Claudia Makes Up Her Mind (1-5)
Let me begin this snark by saying: Claudia is my favorite member of the BSC, and my second-favorite character (after Karen) in the books overall. Originally before I started reading BSC (up until a few days ago, I only read Karen books) she was my favorite because I could relate to her when it came to fashion tastes (ya'll may think Claudia's outfits are henious, I think they're FABULOUS), a desire to be an artist by trade, and poor academic performance in school. Now that I've read my first Claudia book, I can also see that she's funny, witty, and an all-around great person to read about and someone I would be fast friends with if I had a friend like her in real life. I don't have to FORCE myself to get through this book. (:
Throughout the whole "seventh grade arc" that started with Claudia Kishi, Middle School Dropout, I didn't feel like the world was being very fair to Claudia. It's no different in this book, which marks when she goes back to grade 8.
Also her outfit on the cover is adorable but I think it's too matchy-matchy, especially for her.
Chapter 1
Claudia struggles to stay awake during a boring homeroom announcement about "litterquette" (puh-leeze!) and then some idiot throws spitballs. Claudia wakes up because a girl was yelling about the spitball-throwing. Unfortunately, she doesn't tell the boy to stop being a gross idiot, nor does she snap his spitball tube in half. For some reason the girl who got hit with the spitball is the one being mocked and not the immature idiot who feels the need to throw them in the first place. It's stupid and painful to read. The teacher does nothing at all, but is quick to scold Claudia's boyfriend mark for sleeping in class. Because taking a nap at your desk is SO much worse than throwing your disgusting germ-encrusted paper balls at people. Claudia finally decides to give him a Look, and he stops, because SHE'S GOT POWERRRR FUCK YEAH. She'd have more power if she insulted him or snapped the tube in half instead of just Looking, methinks. Claudia says she has this power because of her age. *facepalm* For fuck's sake, Claudia, this is GRADE 7. There are probably PLENTY of other 13-year-olds in your 7th grade class. You're a year older. It means nothing. NOTHING. Claudia talks about how she was sent back to the 7th grade because she was having too much academic trouble in 8th grade, and about how her grandma's artsy gene skipped a generation to her, and this isn't meant as a witty joke or anything: she thinks this is SERIOUSLY how she got her creativity, and says that Janine said that's bull but this is so oooobviously the one time when she's wrong. *facepalm* Oh Claudia. She then goes on to say that ever since she got put into seventh grade her grades have improved and she finally has material she understands, which is why the rest of the book kind of makes me mad. And she has friends outside of the BSC now which is a DEFINITE PLUS. Again, Mark is sleeping in class, the teacher scolds him but not the spitball thrower and I roll my eyes in her general direction. Then she references the King/Queen Of The Seventh Grade thing. Okay, I haven't read Claudia Queen Of The Seventh Grade yet, but I always thought that the Queen thing just meant she was the most popular girl in the seventh grade. Not that there was an actual elected king/queen! What is this bullshit? Mrs. Pilley announces the Color War and Claudia angsts ALL over the damn place when she finds out the seventh grade color is orange. NOOOO NOT ORANGE! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I'M A FASHIONISTA, DAMMIT! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH ORANGE! Claudia, honey, you are my fashion icon, but speaking from one fashionista to the other, you are a PRETTY DAMN BIG FAILURE AS A FASHIONISTA if you can't come up with ONE SINGLE WAY to make orange look cool. Orange? I could make a damn civvie replica of Samus Aran's powersuit using orange as a base! Orange is Ryan's color in Grand Chase and his Royal Guardian and Warrior Saint Armor are amazing! Lots of X-Men wear orange! Claudia angsts about this fucking orange thing for THE ENTIRETY OF THE CHAPTER, and we get an OUTFIT DESCRIPTION!: dark plaid skirt, purple leggings, lace-up boots (WANT!), long-sleeved white shirt, black tie, and a vest. Claudia comes up with adorable outfits like this but can't do anything with orange? I call bullshit! Claudia's like "bawww I have to be a citrus fruit all week." Hey! What a good idea! Get some orange stuff and combine it with fun fruit prints and that fruit jewelry you're so famous for! It turns out the color Claudia voted for was: ....black. ...So you're bitching about orange, when you picked one of the blandest, most limited colors in the world? Making black look awesome is a lot more difficult than doing so with orange. Claudia's friends say she should be an event coordinator and maybe she might be able to change the color. Claudia is still angsting the hell out of this situation. If she's THAT upset about the orange, why doesn't she just NOT PARTICIPATE? Also I find out SMS has a prom. Middle school...prom....what?
Chapter 2
Claudia feeds the BSC orange snacks in honor of the whole orange thing. When she mentions carrots, I get another idea for an orange outfit: a carrot theme! This is why I love Claudia books, they give me so many ideas. This is the part where Kristy acts like a brat. Claudia is trying to tell them about how she is going to be the event coordinator of the SMS Color War, Kristy interrupts like a rude little asshole and is all "Excuse me, is this new business?" in this annoyingly snotty tone. If I were Claudia I would've said "No, 'new business' would be the busted lip you're getting if you interrupt me again." Claudia's like "Uh, yeah?" and Kristy's like "Then save it for the meeting." What a little snot. I then find out the only reason Claudia was interrupted is because they're ONE MINUTE EARLY for the meeting. JESUS CHRIST, KRISTY. Then five-thirty hits, and Claudia tries again, and Kristy fucking INTERRUPTS HER AGAIN all "Any neeeew business?" Claudia, just bust her lip already. Abby throws something at her and tells her it's not a "dictatocracy." I'm gonna steal that word. I love Abby, she doesn't put up with Kristy's bullcrap. This is the BSC pimp-out part I don't care about, except I have to laugh when I see Claudia say "Kristy is not a dictator, she's actually a friendly and fun-loving person." AHAHAHA, SURE, CLAUD. YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT AFTER KRISTY INTERRUPTED YOUR ANNOUNCEMENT THREE TIMES. She then gushes over Kristy for the next three pages and ugh, shut up. I am shocked when I find out Claudia gets all her awesome clothes from thrift shops. I cannot pull something like that off! I have to go to the mall to get Claudia-style clothes, and I often have to spend hundreds of dollars for them. Claudia, I take that back about you being a fail fashionista. More Ann knowing nothing about how diabetes works because y'know, Stacey's entire persona is all about the diabetes. KUDOS TO CLAUDIA for treating the "junior officers" in a mature, equal, non-patrionizing way! That's more than I could say about Kristy, FOR REAL. Kristy decides it'd be a Great Idea to start a kids' color war because Claudia just cannot talk about anything at all without Kristy somehow working kids into it.
Chapter 3
Two kids suggested a pinball tournament (COOL!) and an arm-wrestling match for Color War events. Claudia shoots them both down and says, "With this kind of imagination, we're in big trouble." Um, what is wrong with a pinball tournament? I can understand arm-wrestling match, but pinball is awesome! Claudia then disses her competitor, Alan Gray, and says he is "the lowest form of life on the planet." I know nothing of this Alan Gray, but the way she talks about him, he better be the biggest douchebag in the book (after Kristy) and not just some nerdy boy. I'm seeing way too much of a pattern when it comes to nerds (Mallory, Natalie) and I hope that's not the situation here. Claudia's friends are actually pretty funny to read about and they seem like much better friends than the BSC. In homeroom, Claudia finds a note and thinks it's from the class douchebag (the spitball thrower) but it turns out to be from the guidance counselor. I nearly cried during these chapters, because I knew this situation far too damn well in high school. Claudia has a full-on freakout because she thinks she's in trouble and oh god, I just feel so bad for her and there's nothing at all she can tell herself that will convince her it's not a big deal. This is how I always felt when I thought I was going to get in trouble in school, but I also would scream, cry, and shake all day. The next chapter's really uncomfortable for me to read.
Chapter 4
Claudia's friends are awesome and are walking her to the guidance counselor and trying to console her. Again, this whole chapter is uncomfortable for me to read 'cause it literally made me break into a cold sweat reading it, and I also envied Claudia far too much for having as much composure as she did; I would be absolutely INCONSOLABLE. Claudia thinks she's gonna be sent to the sixth grade now, and then to kindergarten. Mark and Josh are such sweet people, and the way Claudia snuggled up to Mark for comfort like that reminded me of many, many high school days with my soulbonds in similar situations. WARM FUZZIES, ACTIVATE! Mark says they're probably just giving her a new locker and Claudia says guidance counselors don't do that, but since when do guidance counselors put kids back grades either? Last time I checked, the high-ups in the school office were in charge of that. Josh is being a jerk because Mark had to go be with his best friend and Claudia and Shira tell him to cut that shit out. Claudia finally goes into the office and pleads with the counselor that she's been trying hard, she's got good grades now, etc etc and the counselor is like "I knoooow!" And then Claudia finds out they plan on moving her back to the 8th grade. Okay, here's what's wrong with this:
A. Claudia is working to her full potential now, she's enjoying school a lot more, she's got better grades, and more confidence. This started when you put her back to the SEVENTH grade. Maybe, just MAYBE, it's because she is still on a seventh grade level and didn't understand the eighth grade material. Why, then, would you randomly throw her back into the eighth grade instead of waiting for her to finish out the year in seventh, and then she will be working on her level?
B. You already tossed her out of the eighth grade in the middle of the year to throw her back into the seventh. Don't you think, in addition to the lack of consideration for Claudia's academic level, such a change would instill a lot of pressure on her?
C. You're taking her out of classes in which she understands the material, and throwing her into classes in which she never did understand the material, but now you are doing it in the MIDDLE OF THE YEAR, when she will have missed MONTHS of lessons. Even if she didn't have her existing academic issues, that's enough to make her fall behind.
Mrs. Amer explains that they made this decision because she's working at top level in the seventh grade. WELL DUH, IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S WORKING ON HER LEVEL NOW, IDIOT. And then she puts the decision completely up to Claudia. Because it's fair to overload a 13-year-old with this kind of pressure. Claudia is given a week to decide and oh my god this is not FAIR to her at all! Also I really don't get why Claudia thinks going to the grade 8 means leaving Mark and turning her back on her friends...they are all still in the same school! They'll all still be able to see eachother and be friends! You don't need to only stick with people in the same grade as you!
Chapter 5
This is a babysitting chapter with Abby. Nothing important.
Throughout the whole "seventh grade arc" that started with Claudia Kishi, Middle School Dropout, I didn't feel like the world was being very fair to Claudia. It's no different in this book, which marks when she goes back to grade 8.
Also her outfit on the cover is adorable but I think it's too matchy-matchy, especially for her.
Chapter 1
Claudia struggles to stay awake during a boring homeroom announcement about "litterquette" (puh-leeze!) and then some idiot throws spitballs. Claudia wakes up because a girl was yelling about the spitball-throwing. Unfortunately, she doesn't tell the boy to stop being a gross idiot, nor does she snap his spitball tube in half. For some reason the girl who got hit with the spitball is the one being mocked and not the immature idiot who feels the need to throw them in the first place. It's stupid and painful to read. The teacher does nothing at all, but is quick to scold Claudia's boyfriend mark for sleeping in class. Because taking a nap at your desk is SO much worse than throwing your disgusting germ-encrusted paper balls at people. Claudia finally decides to give him a Look, and he stops, because SHE'S GOT POWERRRR FUCK YEAH. She'd have more power if she insulted him or snapped the tube in half instead of just Looking, methinks. Claudia says she has this power because of her age. *facepalm* For fuck's sake, Claudia, this is GRADE 7. There are probably PLENTY of other 13-year-olds in your 7th grade class. You're a year older. It means nothing. NOTHING. Claudia talks about how she was sent back to the 7th grade because she was having too much academic trouble in 8th grade, and about how her grandma's artsy gene skipped a generation to her, and this isn't meant as a witty joke or anything: she thinks this is SERIOUSLY how she got her creativity, and says that Janine said that's bull but this is so oooobviously the one time when she's wrong. *facepalm* Oh Claudia. She then goes on to say that ever since she got put into seventh grade her grades have improved and she finally has material she understands, which is why the rest of the book kind of makes me mad. And she has friends outside of the BSC now which is a DEFINITE PLUS. Again, Mark is sleeping in class, the teacher scolds him but not the spitball thrower and I roll my eyes in her general direction. Then she references the King/Queen Of The Seventh Grade thing. Okay, I haven't read Claudia Queen Of The Seventh Grade yet, but I always thought that the Queen thing just meant she was the most popular girl in the seventh grade. Not that there was an actual elected king/queen! What is this bullshit? Mrs. Pilley announces the Color War and Claudia angsts ALL over the damn place when she finds out the seventh grade color is orange. NOOOO NOT ORANGE! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I'M A FASHIONISTA, DAMMIT! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH ORANGE! Claudia, honey, you are my fashion icon, but speaking from one fashionista to the other, you are a PRETTY DAMN BIG FAILURE AS A FASHIONISTA if you can't come up with ONE SINGLE WAY to make orange look cool. Orange? I could make a damn civvie replica of Samus Aran's powersuit using orange as a base! Orange is Ryan's color in Grand Chase and his Royal Guardian and Warrior Saint Armor are amazing! Lots of X-Men wear orange! Claudia angsts about this fucking orange thing for THE ENTIRETY OF THE CHAPTER, and we get an OUTFIT DESCRIPTION!: dark plaid skirt, purple leggings, lace-up boots (WANT!), long-sleeved white shirt, black tie, and a vest. Claudia comes up with adorable outfits like this but can't do anything with orange? I call bullshit! Claudia's like "bawww I have to be a citrus fruit all week." Hey! What a good idea! Get some orange stuff and combine it with fun fruit prints and that fruit jewelry you're so famous for! It turns out the color Claudia voted for was: ....black. ...So you're bitching about orange, when you picked one of the blandest, most limited colors in the world? Making black look awesome is a lot more difficult than doing so with orange. Claudia's friends say she should be an event coordinator and maybe she might be able to change the color. Claudia is still angsting the hell out of this situation. If she's THAT upset about the orange, why doesn't she just NOT PARTICIPATE? Also I find out SMS has a prom. Middle school...prom....what?
Chapter 2
Claudia feeds the BSC orange snacks in honor of the whole orange thing. When she mentions carrots, I get another idea for an orange outfit: a carrot theme! This is why I love Claudia books, they give me so many ideas. This is the part where Kristy acts like a brat. Claudia is trying to tell them about how she is going to be the event coordinator of the SMS Color War, Kristy interrupts like a rude little asshole and is all "Excuse me, is this new business?" in this annoyingly snotty tone. If I were Claudia I would've said "No, 'new business' would be the busted lip you're getting if you interrupt me again." Claudia's like "Uh, yeah?" and Kristy's like "Then save it for the meeting." What a little snot. I then find out the only reason Claudia was interrupted is because they're ONE MINUTE EARLY for the meeting. JESUS CHRIST, KRISTY. Then five-thirty hits, and Claudia tries again, and Kristy fucking INTERRUPTS HER AGAIN all "Any neeeew business?" Claudia, just bust her lip already. Abby throws something at her and tells her it's not a "dictatocracy." I'm gonna steal that word. I love Abby, she doesn't put up with Kristy's bullcrap. This is the BSC pimp-out part I don't care about, except I have to laugh when I see Claudia say "Kristy is not a dictator, she's actually a friendly and fun-loving person." AHAHAHA, SURE, CLAUD. YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT AFTER KRISTY INTERRUPTED YOUR ANNOUNCEMENT THREE TIMES. She then gushes over Kristy for the next three pages and ugh, shut up. I am shocked when I find out Claudia gets all her awesome clothes from thrift shops. I cannot pull something like that off! I have to go to the mall to get Claudia-style clothes, and I often have to spend hundreds of dollars for them. Claudia, I take that back about you being a fail fashionista. More Ann knowing nothing about how diabetes works because y'know, Stacey's entire persona is all about the diabetes. KUDOS TO CLAUDIA for treating the "junior officers" in a mature, equal, non-patrionizing way! That's more than I could say about Kristy, FOR REAL. Kristy decides it'd be a Great Idea to start a kids' color war because Claudia just cannot talk about anything at all without Kristy somehow working kids into it.
Chapter 3
Two kids suggested a pinball tournament (COOL!) and an arm-wrestling match for Color War events. Claudia shoots them both down and says, "With this kind of imagination, we're in big trouble." Um, what is wrong with a pinball tournament? I can understand arm-wrestling match, but pinball is awesome! Claudia then disses her competitor, Alan Gray, and says he is "the lowest form of life on the planet." I know nothing of this Alan Gray, but the way she talks about him, he better be the biggest douchebag in the book (after Kristy) and not just some nerdy boy. I'm seeing way too much of a pattern when it comes to nerds (Mallory, Natalie) and I hope that's not the situation here. Claudia's friends are actually pretty funny to read about and they seem like much better friends than the BSC. In homeroom, Claudia finds a note and thinks it's from the class douchebag (the spitball thrower) but it turns out to be from the guidance counselor. I nearly cried during these chapters, because I knew this situation far too damn well in high school. Claudia has a full-on freakout because she thinks she's in trouble and oh god, I just feel so bad for her and there's nothing at all she can tell herself that will convince her it's not a big deal. This is how I always felt when I thought I was going to get in trouble in school, but I also would scream, cry, and shake all day. The next chapter's really uncomfortable for me to read.
Chapter 4
Claudia's friends are awesome and are walking her to the guidance counselor and trying to console her. Again, this whole chapter is uncomfortable for me to read 'cause it literally made me break into a cold sweat reading it, and I also envied Claudia far too much for having as much composure as she did; I would be absolutely INCONSOLABLE. Claudia thinks she's gonna be sent to the sixth grade now, and then to kindergarten. Mark and Josh are such sweet people, and the way Claudia snuggled up to Mark for comfort like that reminded me of many, many high school days with my soulbonds in similar situations. WARM FUZZIES, ACTIVATE! Mark says they're probably just giving her a new locker and Claudia says guidance counselors don't do that, but since when do guidance counselors put kids back grades either? Last time I checked, the high-ups in the school office were in charge of that. Josh is being a jerk because Mark had to go be with his best friend and Claudia and Shira tell him to cut that shit out. Claudia finally goes into the office and pleads with the counselor that she's been trying hard, she's got good grades now, etc etc and the counselor is like "I knoooow!" And then Claudia finds out they plan on moving her back to the 8th grade. Okay, here's what's wrong with this:
A. Claudia is working to her full potential now, she's enjoying school a lot more, she's got better grades, and more confidence. This started when you put her back to the SEVENTH grade. Maybe, just MAYBE, it's because she is still on a seventh grade level and didn't understand the eighth grade material. Why, then, would you randomly throw her back into the eighth grade instead of waiting for her to finish out the year in seventh, and then she will be working on her level?
B. You already tossed her out of the eighth grade in the middle of the year to throw her back into the seventh. Don't you think, in addition to the lack of consideration for Claudia's academic level, such a change would instill a lot of pressure on her?
C. You're taking her out of classes in which she understands the material, and throwing her into classes in which she never did understand the material, but now you are doing it in the MIDDLE OF THE YEAR, when she will have missed MONTHS of lessons. Even if she didn't have her existing academic issues, that's enough to make her fall behind.
Mrs. Amer explains that they made this decision because she's working at top level in the seventh grade. WELL DUH, IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S WORKING ON HER LEVEL NOW, IDIOT. And then she puts the decision completely up to Claudia. Because it's fair to overload a 13-year-old with this kind of pressure. Claudia is given a week to decide and oh my god this is not FAIR to her at all! Also I really don't get why Claudia thinks going to the grade 8 means leaving Mark and turning her back on her friends...they are all still in the same school! They'll all still be able to see eachother and be friends! You don't need to only stick with people in the same grade as you!
Chapter 5
This is a babysitting chapter with Abby. Nothing important.