Jessi's Babysitter Chapters 11-15
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Chapter 11
It’s two days until the science fair. Jackie is excited about the gigantic mess that the volcano will make. The volcano has been built. Jackie wants to test out the volcano to see if it works. It would be really awkward if they lit the volcano and nothing happened. Jessi tells Jackie that the volcano can only erupt once, and that has to wait for the science fair. She does agree to test out the chemicals in a can. The chemicals work.
Jessi says it’s time for the final preparations and I can almost see poor Jackie’s face falling. Jackie needs to think about how he’s going to present his project. Jessi rejects his title of “My Volcano,” and suggests, “Welcome to the World of Volcanic Activity. Jackie makes the sign, and being seven, misspells some of the words. Jessi is pissy at him because after all the studying they’ve been doing (as I recall, Jackie just sits there and looks bored while you do the work) he should know how to spell volcano. I feel a comparison to Claudia coming on. Jackie stares at the floor while Jessi thinks that she has to do everything. Shut up, Jessi. In the first place, Jackie didn’t want to enter the science fair. You’re the one who wouldn’t let him build a regular volcano. You’re the one who did all the research. You’re the one who keeps taking over instead of explaining things to Jackie. To be fair, I can see where Jessi is going wrong. I would probably be too lazy to explain how to spell words properly and just write the sign myself.
I’d also like to point out that I would be feeling pretty crummy about myself if I was Jackie. I’d be thinking that all my ideas were stupid and that I would never be able to do anything right. After the sign is made, Jessi tells Jackie it’s on to the next thing. Jackie is dismayed. I would have been banging my head against the wall by now, if I didn’t already throw a gigantic tantrum. Jackie is a more patient child than I was at that age. They have to stake out the science fair so Jackie can see where the best place to put his project is. Clearly attempting to win an elementary school science fair is akin to some sort of warfare.
Jackie and Jessi find a place to set up the project, and I’m seriously imaging the volcano to be some sort of weapon now. Now Jessi asks Jackie what he’s going to say, and immediately rejects his idea. I would have just said, “Why should I bother telling you my ideas? You’re just going to tell me that my ideas are stupid and we have to do things your way.” Jessi tells Jackie what to say and gets impatient because a seven-year-old can’t immediately pronounce igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary.
Jessi tells Jackie what he’s supposed to say and makes him memorize the speech. Now she wants him to do hand signals. I would have seriously ran out of patience by now. I applaud Jackie. Actually, Jackie does seem to like the idea of using hand signals. When his family gets home he has a great time demonstrating his project.
Chapter 12
I’m not going to lie. This chapter makes me angry. That being said, I want to finish snarking it as soon as possible. So if I rush through this chapter, I apologize. It turns out that Jessi is running a little late from her babysitting job. Aunt Cecelia is already on the phone with the police when Jessi comes in. Okay, she really isn’t, but she might as well be. Aunt Cecelia yells at Jessi for being ten minutes late and not calling. It was ten minutes. I don’t know if I’m going to be ten minutes late. Half an hour, sure. But ten minutes? It’s entirely possible that if I’m ten minutes late I ran into a friend, or there was a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why I’m ten minutes late.
Aunt Cecelia spouts some rubbish about calling when you’re going to be late. I agree, but then she says that you should call if you’re going to be two minutes late. I got enough of that bullshit in middle school. We’d get yelled at if we were two minutes late. I’d just think, “What the hell could you possibly say in two minutes that we can’t afford to miss? All you teachers ever say at the beginning of class is that we have a lot of work to do, so be quiet.” And it usually takes the teacher two minutes to calm the class down, and I’m not counting the whining my classmates would do at the prospect of work.
We also had two minutes to go to the bathroom in middle school. We had to go with a partner. I guess this was so we couldn’t skip class, but now I think this was in case someone had an upset stomach and would exceed the two minute time limit. The partner could go back to class and inform the teacher of the student’s upset stomach.
Jessi attempts to reason with Aunt Cecelia, saying that she’s responsible and that she would have called if she’d known she was going to be really late. She points out that her parents don’t worry if she’s ten minutes late, but Aunt Cecelia says that she’s in charge and ten minutes is too much. Next thing you know Aunt Cecelia will be saying Jessi is late because she’s the last one to arrive. My journalism teacher actually said that once. For the record, class hadn’t even started yet. Come to think of it, I wonder how long it will take before Kristy starts saying that the last person to arrive at the meeting regardless of the time is late.
Jessi doesn’t want to deal with Aunt Cecelia’s rubbish and says okay, okay, okay, prompting Aunt Cecelia to scold her for backtalk. Jessi argues that it wasn’t. Jessi, let me explain something to you. If you’re being scolded in my house, your best bet is to look contrite. Do not, under any circumstances, look discontent. You’re a child. You don’t have the right to be discontent. No joke. My parents seriously tried to tell me I had to right to get upset at certain things. I can take them telling me how to fix my hair and clothes, but I draw the line at them attempting to control my emotions. Anyway, don’t say anything. Don’t roll your eyes, don’t sigh, don’t make any rude hand gestures. In fact, don’t do anything. If you aren’t careful your parents are being rude and extend your punishment. If you must have a tantrum at the injustice of the universe, do it quietly. Oh, and if you write down what jerks your parents are, make sure to hide the evidence. One time I was mad at my mom and wrote something down on a piece of paper. I made up with mom and forgot all about the paper. My brother found the paper and ratted me out. Dad still yelled at me even though I tried to explain that I was just angry and over the argument now, so there was really no point in dragging this any further. Yeah, that’s basically how it would have gone down in my house. I still cannot hide my feelings, however.
Aunt Cecelia denies Jessi the right to go to the BSC meeting, which devastates Jessi. She pleads her case, talking about how the BSC needs her and depends on her, but Aunt Cecelia is unmoved. Jessi snaps and tells Aunt Cecelia that she doesn’t make the rules. She tries to call her parents to get permission to go to the BSC meeting, but her dad is out of the office and it isn’t an emergency. Seeing how unreasonable Kristy gets when people miss a BSC meeting, I think you could make a case for an emergency.
Jessi calls Kristy to tell her about Aunt Cecelia. I find it slightly amusing that Kristy is harping on someone else for overreacting about lateness. I guess being unreasonable is only okay if you’re Kristy. And I guess it’s also because Jessi might hero worship Kristy slightly, and she hates Aunt Cecelia. Jessi asks Kristy to call her a lot during the meeting so it seems like Aunt Cecelia is depriving them of a valuable member. They keep their word and Aunt Cecelia is exasperated.
At dinner, Jessi casually mentions that there’s some trouble with Aunt Cecelia. Her parents don’t enquire further. I don’t know why Jessi doesn’t tell her parents about Aunt Cecelia. Yes, having her around is a huge help for the family, but don’t you want as little conflict as possible? If you’re going to bring your relative in to help around the house, shouldn’t you let them know how you do things? Shouldn’t you say, “We allow the children to do x,y,z. We don’t believe in corporal punishment. Jessi babysits a lot, so we’ll let you know when her sitting jobs are in advance?” Wouldn’t that have made more sense and led to less conflict? But no, we have to keep milking a plot that can be easily solved if people just sat down and talked. I hate poor communication kills plots. They’re such a waste of time and can be solved really easily, if people just bloody talked to each other.
Aunt Cecelia comes in to fix Jessi’s hair. It looks horrible, but the hair won’ t get into her eyes. I assume Aunt Cecelia put Jessi’s hair into a bun. If I wear my hair in too tight of a ponytail, I get a headache. I imagine Jessi will have a headache. Oh, and Jessi goes to complain to her parents, but decides against it. You can at least tell your parents to let Aunt Cecelia know that you can pick out your own damn clothes and cut your own vegetables.
Chapter 13
Science fair time. I did not care about science fairs. I wasn’t very science-y or arty, so my projects would never win any prizes. Jackie is nervous and practicing his speech on Jessi. He makes a few mistakes. Jackie sees his parents and waves them over. Jessi goes to scope out the competition and destroy any projects that look like they might win.
Jessi goes back to Jackie and sees a girl asking Jackie about the volcano. She wants to know how volcanoes work, and Jackie’s speech does not answer her question. Jessi feels badly, but she’s distracted when her family shows up. Becca wants to see Charlotte’s project and the parents want to see the volcano.
The judging starts a little later. Jessi realizes that the judges are asking questions about the projects. Half of these projects are art projects. In what way is a shadow box of Barbie on the moon scientific? Do you want Margo to calculate the amount of air she and Ken will need to live on the moon? Do you want David Michael to recite the properties of the planets? I can understand if the kids did any experiment like Charlotte, but I don’t understand what kinds of questions the judges could ask if the projects are art projects that have to do with science.
The judges finally reach Jackie. Jessi has to light the match. The volcano erupts nicely and Jackie gives his speech. The judges ask him questions. What is this? When I did science fairs, we had to conduct experiments. A good bit of these projects are science-related art projects. Do the students have the option of either doing an experiment or making a display and answering questions about the display? Jackie totally bombs the questions and the judges walk off. Jackie did a really terrible job because the judges don’t even say that his project is interesting. In my experience if someone says that a project was interesting, they’re usually saying it sucks but they can’t say it outright. Of course, it depends on how you say it. If the judges say, “You’re project was…interesting,” it usually means you sucked.
Charlotte wins a ribbon. Jessi’s friends look as disappointed as she does, even though Mallory and Kristy both knew their siblings weren’t going to win anything. Still, maybe they harbored some home. Jackie looks really disappointed with his Honorable Mention ribbon, which is just a pity prize they give kids. It’s like saying, “We’re all winners here! Except you get this ugly little ribbon and that kid gets a trophy.” I never got any pity prizes when I entered competitions. I feel cheated.
Jessi goes over to Jackie’s project and apologizes for taking over. She says that she wanted Jackie to feel like a winner because he has low self-esteem because of his clumsiness. You girls could stop acting like it’s the end of the world when he trips or spills a glass of juice. Just saying. And if Jackie did win, it would be amusing if he’d said, “You did all the work. You rejected all my ideas. I really didn’t do anything.”
Jackie’s parents are understanding and admit that they may have taken over as well. I’m sorry, but I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a father to build a wood and glass box. I don’t want a seven-year-old, especially one as notoriously clumsy as Jackie, to be making a box out of wood and glass. Knowing Jackie he could slice a vein open. That was reasonable help. Jessi was the one who kept rejecting Jackie’s ideas. She wouldn’t even let him have his damn sign, for crying out loud.
Jackie’s classmates come over. They’re impressed with the volcano. Jackie is pleased and this causes him to forgive Jessi. Jackie’s parents suggest that Jessi help him next year, and Jessi declines. Jackie agrees and says he’ll lose on his own merit. This causes Jessi to realize she needs to talk to her parents. Finally.
Chapter 14
Jessi goes to her parents and asks to leave. She says she wants to talk to them about Aunt Cecelia. They go home and Jessi tells them about her part in Jackie’s science fair disaster. Just imagine what would have happened if Jackie had won. Jessi never would have realized that she was acting exactly like Aunt Cecelia and never would have decided to talk to her parents about her. She explains about the troubles she and Becca are having with Aunt Cecelia, prompting Jessi’s father to call a family conference.
They tell Aunt Cecelia that Jessi and Becca are capable of doing a lot of things. Aunt Cecelia gets offended and says maybe they don’t need her. Jessi’s mom says that they do, seeing as how Jessi and Becca can’t babysit at school, and neither of the girls can cook. I couldn’t cook at those ages either. I still can’t cook. If I’m home alone I can probably make macaroni, or rice, or heat up a can of soup, but forget anything complex. Aunt Cecelia only wanted to show the girls that she cared, but she went about it the wrong way. It’s so good that we had this parallel between the way Jessi was treating Jackie and how Aunt Cecelia was treating Jessi. The problem with Aunt Cecelia would never have been solved otherwise.
Aunt Cecelia admits that she was afraid she wouldn’t live up to Jessi as a babysitter. Jessi is shocked because Aunt Cecelia blamed her for Becca getting stranded on the island. Jerk move, Aunt Cecelia. Yes, Jessi showed poor judgment, but she’s eleven. You know who showed even worse judgment? Her father? What kind of idiot lets his eight-year-old daughter go on a sailboat without adult supervision? If my little brother did something like that, I would have cursed him out for being an irresponsible moron. Did Aunt Cecelia ever scold the parents, by the way?
Aunt Cecelia says she needed someone to blame for the tragedy. Why don’t you blame the adults for leaving the kids home alone for a weekend and giving Becca permission to go on the trip? Aunt Cecelia was afraid that she wouldn’t live up to Jessi. Aunt Cecelia mentions the pranks. The only scolding they get is a warning, “Girls,” from their mother. They should have gone to their parents a lot sooner if this was all the scolding they were going to get.
Jessi’s father tells Aunt Cecelia that they don’t withhold BSC meetings as punishment. He also proposes that the girls inform them of their plans so that Aunt Cecelia will know. Why the hell didn’t you do this sooner? Wouldn’t it have made more sense if someone had just told Aunt Cecelia what the girls were allowed to do, how they were usually punished, and their schedules? You guys are idiots. If I have someone coming to help with my kids, I’d want them to know what my kids were allowed to do and if I disapproved of certain methods of punishment. This all could have been avoided if everyone would have spoken to each other.
Aunt Cecelia and the girls agree to the new rules, and to refer to Cecelia as their aunt, and not their sitter. This problem is being solved so easily. Why didn’t you say something sooner? Why didn’t the parents inform tell Aunt Cecelia these things instead of letting her go in blind? The girls are going to be punished for the pranks, but Aunt Cecelia wants a word with the parents in private.
Chapter 15
BSC meeting time. David Michael is happy over his Honorable Mention. Margo’s happy with her project. Charlotte is happy. Winning the science fair boosted her self-esteem. My self-esteem was boosted when I won the literary fair. Jackie doesn’t hold a grudge.
There’s some foreshadowing when Mallory says that her father’s company is laying people off. Jessi goes home and sees Aunt Cecelia cooking dinner while Squirt plays with pots and pans at her feet. I hope she doesn’t trip over Squirt. Becca comes to get Jessi. She’s in shock because Aunt Cecelia has pranked them. It beats a lecture, being spanked, or losing TV privileges. I would have taken the pranks. Jessi and Becca apologize for the pranks, and Aunt Cecelia apologizes for taking over. Becca offers to tell Aunt Cecelia a joke to apologize. Aunt Cecelia laughs. Does anyone else think it’s kind of unusual that the books always mention that Ann did a lot of babysitting as a kid, and yet the kids in the books rarely act like kids? I’ll be snarking Claudia and the World’s Cutest Baby, next.