Super Mystery #2: Baby-sitters Beware
Okay. So. You know how sometimes something is creepy but ALSO stupid? Like, it's really messed up but you're also rolling your eyes? No? Well you're about to know about it if this book fell out of your memory. This book has it all- mystery, stalking, unresolved plot lines, dumping on Jessi, Karen, and potential murder.
So, let's dip our toes into the frigid Shadow Lake, shall we?
Cover:
Yeah, so, this never happens. Is that supposed to be Kristy and Stacey? And is that Andrew? Why is Andrew looking away from the guy in the leather jacket? Hell, what are the mystery girls looking at? Oh, by the way, there is no man in a leather jacket who walks past the window. Hodges just glued some stuff onto the canvas from previous, rejected covers.
Anyhoooo, prologue! Oh, and the copyright page isn't in this book. The title page says, "To: Christina, From: Monica, May 2, 1999 (This is a great book)" The top of the pages is stamped Linden Free Public Library so it's clearly made some rounds. I'm going to assume Ann wrote this one, but it could have been anyone really.
Prologue, or "But boy was I in for a surprise!"
This book is being uh... framed?... by Kristy. This is the introduction of the Mystery Notebook, which, okay it wasn't until 1999 that they got that? Or, you know, this book has CLEAR time warp problems anyway so who the hell knows.
Anyway, she's just talking about going to Shadow Lake and talking about some old mysteries. Clue #1 for this mystery- the answer is in the first one she lists. Page 4. Dawn and that pet-napper. Keep that in mind before it gets hammered over your head.
I'm also snarking this with a Coke and vanilla vodka. My first booze-snark!
Chapter 1 - Kristy, or So Who's Going to Shadow Lake and Who's a Side Plot?
Kristy is babysitting for her younger siblings while everyone's our. Sam's breaking up with his girlfriend, Charlie's... I don't know, waiting in the car, and Watson and Elizabeth are at a Christmas party. Keep thinking about that Christmas party. It's not important to the plot, just the time warp.
Karen and DM are watching a horror movie on TV, telling Kristy they won't get scared. It's too cheesy to get scared at! Yeah, except Karen thinks the neighbor is a witch sooo. Karen also uses one contraction in this whole book. She says "don't" in this book, but the rest of the time she sounds EXACTLY like she does in her books while David Michael sounds normal. It is CLEARLY just Karen that is awful.
Though Kristy is preoccupied. She's thinking about how it's almost time to go to Shadow Lake because Watson wants to go check on the cabin. She gets to take some friends and is getting all excited about it because the cabin is Mansion 2.0 since it sleeps 24 comfortably. Though it hasn't been snowing and Kristy is worried there won't be any good snow up at the lake. Which... since this year was pretty dry out here, the ski season wasn't so great. Kinda understandable that Kristy wouldn't be happy for once.
At the next BSC meeting Kristy brings up the trip and asks who can go. Mal can't go because she has to watch her siblings while her parents install insulation and Jessi has to help. Shannon has French club, MA has a social studies paper and date with Logan, and Logan has a football banquet and that date. So that leaves Abby, Stacey, and Claudia who are going. Kristy says she's worried about Watson though. This is the post-heart attack era and she doesn't want him to strain himself on the trip. Again, a valid fear, but that's about it for this book. She's also worried about Stacey since Sam is going on the trip and is ~single~. She's worried they may ~rekindle~ their relationship even though Stacey's with... I don't know... Kevin... Richard... some guy.
Chapter 2 - Jessi, or Welp, Sorry Jessi!
Chapter 2 but in full. Pages 18-32 are ALL chapter 2 stuff but expanded vastly. Jessi gets two chapters in this thing and one is wasted on absolutely nothing. The only thing that comes out of it is that the Rodowskies call and need a sitter so Logan takes the job. Kristy mentions the horror movie and Mal pulls the, "With MY luck SOMETHING WEIRD will happen to YOU guys LOL!"
Oh foreshadowing... You are terrible in BSC books.
Chapter 3 - Abby, or Sgt. Johnson Should be Kicked Off the Force
Kristy and Abby are leaving a sports committee meeting in which they tried to tell the administration that they should have a say in how fundraising money gets spent since they need to use the stuff. Sort of logical but Abby proves that she is my favorite character and that I'm just like her when she says that she doubts anyone was actually listening to them. You know Kristy was thinking the exact opposite.
As they walk toward Claudia's for a meeting they hear the sound of glass breaking at the Rodoswky's neighbor's yard. They go and "investigate" and Abby thinks the police should be called- because she's the only one with a damn brain. The girls see a ratty old Ford Escort pull up as two very stereotypical robbers run out of the house and hop in the car.
They run to the Rodowsky house and have Mrs. R call the police and Kristy calls Claudia to start the meeting without them. This really is a mystery. Compared to book 100, Kristy is being rational.
Sgt. Johnson shows up and asks questions of the girls and Mrs. R. The neighbor is a Mr. Seger who isn't very social so Mrs. R doesn't know him very well. So since this is a BSC mystery he's automatically a super suspect and can't be trusted. Kristy asks if she can call Johnson for updates and he pretty much just goes, "Yeah, sure, I see no problem with that."
Kristy, this doesn't involve you anymore. You told him you saw some guys with no distinguishing anything in a crappy Escort. You couldn't get the plate number either. If anything this is a Rodowsky problem since it was THEIR neighbor. Eyeroll. Move on.
Chapter 4 - Stacey, or Let's Not Tell Our Parents Shit
Stacey says in her... notebook entry (not sure what these handwritten bits really are this time)... that she's never seen a robbery- not even in New York! Cuz she's ~sophisticated~ and would never bother to look when someone got mugged on the street corner.
Abby and Kristy get to the meeting and tell everyone about what they saw. Everyone reacts with their "OMG and you okay?!"'s and Mal's is the best:
'"No way!' shrieked Mal. 'That's great!'"
Oh, Mal. Honey. You're telling your friends it is great that they were involved in a crime. Everyone gives her side eye and Kristy just laughs. Because this book is just Dump on Mal & Jessi for these first few chapters. Mmm... Gonna be a long book, huh?
Then they start to do what they do in every mystery. They try to solve the mystery with no fucking clues. They just start spouting shit with nothing to go off of. Kristy then says she's not going to tell her parents because she doesn't want to kill Watson. Which, okay, fine. You don't want to worry Watson. BUT COME ON. You JUST saw a crime and are all worried but you won't tell your parents?! At least the called the police... but... ugh. Yeah, sure, let's just withhold info from our parents. Let's all just get off on withholding like Lucille Bluth.
Anyway, speaking of Shadow Lake, Abby starts to talk about how great a skier she is. She can do some of them hard trails and just looooves skiing. This is where we find Claud's Butt Bug for the book. She starts getting pissy because Abby is "bragging" (she sort of is, but it's really not THAT bad) while Claudia is supposed to be the best skier ever so of course she's going to be a bitch. Remember last-this winter when she was in the Winter War in this-last 8th grade? And that's not even the worst of the time warp.
Stacey starts to think about how she's worried that Sam's going on the trip. She's really involved with... Robert, I knew I wrote it in my notes. What if Sam wants to start going OH GOD MEETING RAN OVER PAST 6 EVERYONE SCATTER!
Yeah that's really how the chapter ends.
Chapter 5 - Mary Anne, or Oh My God, SHUT UP, MARY ANNE
Okay, this is the chapter that starts a COMPLETELY STUPID plot line that only serves to make MA a passive aggressive bitch toward Logan. But first, MA's letter to Penthouse:
"No one ever believes it when something strange is happening to them. I don't. I think, I'm imagining this. I think, it's all just a coincidence. I think, things like this don't really happen. Not to real people. But they do."
...
'Kay, no one really wants to hear about you and Logan kissing lightly and blushing while promising to be pure and wait for your marriage that will occur in #265: Mary Anne and the Something Blue. Think on that one.
MA's gotten a note from Logan with two words on it: STOP CRYING. She shows it to Kristy and they're both confused since Logan didn't seem to be mad or anything. Kristy just shrugs and is all, "It's a joke, PEACE!" as the bell rings, but MA is still not so sure. Though that night, around 9 pm, when she's in the middle of her homework, Kristy calls. Why is MA in the MIDDLE of her homework at 9 AT NIGHT? I don't know about you, but when I was a kid (and... in college) I did my homework as soon as I got home. When did MA start that it's 9 pm and she's still chugging along?
Hm. Back to Kristy. She says there's someone outside her house and MA tells her to call the police. She did but she wanted someone to talk to while she waited for the police to arrive. Again, very normal and a decent way to get MA in on the action. Any kid would totally be freaked if there was some creeper outside and everyone was in bed and the adults out. I'd have pissed myself at that point.
Shannon starts barking and Kristy goes to try and stop her, hanging up on MA. MA freaks and calls the police to get over to Kristy's house and is told the police just arrived. After she finds that out she thinks Kristy's dead because she starts trying to ask the 911 operator if Kristy's okay. They hang up and MA immediately calls Kristy back. A rock was thrown through the window and someone had painted, "YOU'RE NEXT" on the door but otherwise she's okay.
So here's where the creepstupid starts. The whole scenario is pretty freaky, especially for a 13-year-old. It's almost not even snark worthy because that would be a traumatic thing to go through. The snark comes in with the fact that the person wrote, "YOU'RE NEXT" when they pretty much did their creeptastic deed already. The stalking around outside, the rock... I mean, unless you're going to kidnap Kristy, what else is there? Hm. Moving on from that.
MA wants to call Logan, but omg he left that note maybe. Well when in doubt, just sleep. Before she does, she decides to sit and look out the window sadly. It's dark, but she can see someone outside near the tree. She can barely see him, but she knows he can see her since she's backlit against an incredibly dark background seeing that she's out in the country where there's no light pollution-causers.
She shuts the curtains, slams the light off, and then decides to just peek out again. There's no one there now... BUT HOLD UP. If it WAS the guy that was outside Kristy's house, did he teleport to MA's? This book has an ad for the BSC Fanclub and you get A MAP OF STONEYBROOK if you sign up. A MAP. If I had that map, I could find this out. Stoneybrook is probably like Silent Hill in that the map just changes based on who's perceiving it (though I'd just say SH2 has the "real" map cuz I like SH2).
Does MA run downstairs to tell Sharon and her dad? Pfft. No. She makes a conscious effort NOT to. She's worried the rules would be back and it's be Mary Anne, Plain and Tall all over again. You know, cuz that's a legit reason not to tell your parents there was a creeper outside the house. STOP HAVING TRAUMATIC EVENTS AND THEN BEING STUPID.
Ugh. MA then goes to the Mall with Stacey and Claudia to buy an outfit for her date with Logan to celebrate the end of the football season. He's taking her to a "real" restaurant since she can't go to the banquet or he can't take her or... I dunno. As they go to the bus stop, MA feels like she's being watched. She can't see anyone, but she swears she can feel someone watching her. Nothing happens on the ride home, but when they get back to Claudia's they start to help her prep for dinner and they smell smoke.
MA suggests someone's burning leaves, but Stacey reminds her of the time Dawn was a bitch and banned leaf burning. Okay, so, Dawn has a point but I'm sure she was still pretty heinous about it. Shut up, Dawn. As they ponder Dawn, they see smoke is starting to fill the dining room. Claudia hurries and grabs Janine who doesn't want to leave her computer. Well... it was 1999 so... that shit's expensive.
Claudia grabs her and they hurry to shut all the doors so the fire doesn't spread- I feel like I'm learning! After they're out, Claudia hurries next door to call the fire department. When they arrive they determine that the fire was started deliberately in the trash cans outside the house with the smoke going in through a window.
Again, legit creepy. Someone's messing with the girls in an actual stalker-y way. But then they do stupid shit, except for, shockingly, Claudia who somehow kicked into action mode in this chapter. This chapter was also really damn long.
Chapter 6 - Claudia, or I'm Realizing This Chapter was Useless
Let's look at Claudia's spelling: smoak, off instead of of, beleive, hapenned, some one, purpos, firefigters.
At the Friday meeting they're all trying to figure out who lit the fire. Stacey suggests Cokie, but they shoot that down in favor of Cary Retlin. Yes, Cary Retlin lit a fire and almost burned a house down. Cuz THAT'S logical. I swear, stop ruining a book that could have possibly been decent. But the police and fire marshal are on the case so Claudia isn't going to worry about it. Hm... That's new.
Abby says there hasn't been any news about the robbery. Everyone asks how the hell she knows that and she replies with, "I read the police blotter in the paper. You know, the newspaper. Local events. Duh." Though the Kishi fire was in the paper with nothing about who could have done it. They get so wrapped up in the mystery that they totally forget what they were supposed to be doing when the phone rings. They take the call and do some business before Kristy starts groaning about the snow again and Claudia is still being passive aggressive about Abby's bragging. Cuz she needs something to bitch about in EVERY book. Ugh... shut up.
The phone rings again and after a long pause the person on the other end says, "You're next."
Yep. This chapter was only good for the creeper and Claudia's bitching.
Chapter 7 - Kristy, or Hey Look, Making Shit Up is the Answer!
In Kristy's notebook entry she uses its incorrectly. Hrm.
The girls have been getting phantom phone calls again. There isn't much they can do though since it's the 90s and not everyone has a machine they can use to screen the calls and caller ID is nearly non-existant still. If I had to answer the phone blindly while getting creepy calls I'd be pretty freaked too. It's getting annoying I'm sure and the creeper knows there isn't anything they can do.
After Sunday comes they stop getting calls. They still check the paper for any news on the robbery but there's still nothing. Kristy calls Sgt. Johnson and finds out that Seger said he broke his own window while trimming his tree. Sounds logical BUT WAIT. Kristy's calling bull. It's December so who's pruning a tree? And she and Abby heard the glass break which means it happened that night when Seger wasn't home. Johnson tells her that if Seger doesn't want anything pursued then they won't pursue it so there will be no news.
I see in my notes that I wrote, "I like Abby." She snarks a line, but it's not worth repeating so... I guess I just like Abby!
Everyone drops by at lunch and say they think Seger is hiding stuff. Claudia character traits and says it's stolen art. Stacey flashes back and says counterfeit money. The money thing is something they obsess over soon too... Cuz apparently Stoneybrook is the Hood. This is confirmed when at the next meeting, Claudia says she doesn't want to sit for anyone new until all of this crime blows over (logical) and everyone agrees.
They get a call from Mrs. Arnold, but Kristy and Mary Anne decide to prank Claudia and Abby. Kristy says it's a new client who lives on Elm Street. MA says Abby's the only one free so she has to take it. It actually is sort of funny because they're all horror movie cliches and the girls don't get it. Bazinga.
Jessi then says that Becca has seen a guy in town with a blue tattoo that scared her. Then it's OMG REMEMBER THE COUNTERFEITER HAD ONE OF THOSE!!! Stacey gets the sitting notebook out and realizes they'll never find anything about that "mystery" since everything's mixed together and the time warp has ruined their sense of everything. Kristy gets a Great Idea to start the mystery notebook- I still feel like they had that before now. MA's all, "You think we'll be having more 'cases'?" and Kristy responds with, "At this rate, chyeah!"
Then Mal volunteers to go through the notebook and compile the mystery data into a separate one. Claudia is not enthused about there being more writing.
Chapter 8 - Shannon, or This Should be an Abby Chapter
Research is exciting! And scary!
The girls go to the library to do some research and don't explain how to use it for once. Abby also calls Kristy Agatha Kristy. I chuckled. Sue me, I like Abby and Agatha. They all also try to act normal around Mrs. Kishi but Abby hams it up. Mrs. Kishi just nods and smiles and tells Shannon they can find info on Stoneybrook people in the Who's Who. They find Seger in it and see he's a businessman who owns his own business. He also has a wife who is deceased and a son in high school.
They decide to photocopy the page for clues... after they say there's nothing on his entry page that would do anything to help them. Why copy something with NO information on it? Oh, I know. Plot device. Abby goes to copy the page and while doing so she starts to root through the trash, as you do, and finds pictures of Claudia, Stacey, Kristy, MA, and Dawn. They're all from the picture of them when they caught the pet napper and they were in the paper because of it.
She brings it to their attention and they decide they need to look Seger up in the news archives to see if he's done anything else. Nothing's there, of course, so Abby suggests he's using a fake name. This guy is CLEARLY evil what with him not wanting to go out very often and socialize with the Rodowsky family. And you know the tree thing. Maybe he's just weird!
And, okay, this was a Shannon chapter. Shannon doesn't DO anything though. Abby does everything so why wasn't this an Abby chapter? I think Shannon has more chapters than Jessi in this and yet in this one she's not even the focus. I really want to know who wrote this crap...
Chapter 9 - Mal, or Mal Stalking the Stalker like a Stalker
Mal's gone undercover with the ultimate disguise- as a babysitter. This is like one of two actual sitting chapters in this book. It's actually sort of shocking.
She's at the Rodowsky house, of course, and is mostly focused on looking out of the kitchen window to spy on the Seger house. They decide to make cookies since she can stay in the kitchen and watch the kids while doing so. As they bake she takes note that while Seger does have a tree in his yard, it isn't near any window.
The boys start calling the cookies Slammers because they're obsessed with Pogs. Man, we can't get a recent TV show but a fad that died as fast as it showed up made it in? I remember I bought so many of those things... I just liked looking at the art on them mostly. I don't even think I ever played the damn game.
Jackie, of course makes a mess and then lunges to open the oven when the timer goes off. Mal catches him and when the oven door opens her glasses steam up so she has to take them off. Though when she does she sees a shadow outside. She cleans her glasses and hurries to look, seeing a short guy with brown hair, a hat, backpack, ratty jeans and shoes, and an old jacket. He's going in through Seger's side door so Mal writes everything down in the notebook.
Then there's a weirdly written passage...
"And the only other disaster was when Jackie slammed the door on his finger and it fell in crumbs to the floor. As you may have guessed, 'it' wasn't his finger, it was the cookie he was holding."
...who... what is the point... Discuss.
Abby then comes by to relieve Mal from her stakeout/sitting (well no, she's just going home). They see Seger's car pull into his driveway and Abby takes that to mean she can go examine it. She gets the plate number, a description of the car and Seger, and finds there are two Business Association stickers on the car- one for last year and one for the current year (whichever those are).
The next day there's an emergency meeting on the stairs of the school. They go over Mal and Abby's new clues and decide they need to go to the business bureau. When they arrive they see there's a male secretary (REPRESENT. As a male who is a receptionist, I am fond of this) who just photo copies the list of members for their for their flimsy, "School project!" excuse. Though after he gives it to them and they go to leave he yells for them to STOP. He copied the wrong list. It was last year's and he has the current one's list in his desk.
...
Ugh.
Of course they keep the old one because male secretary was a plot device.
Claudia thinks Seger must be an embezzler and his house must be full of money. But he owns the business so he gets all the money anyway. Though this is Claudia.
This was also Mal's only chapter... Logan has more than Mal.
Chapter 10 - Stacey, or This Chapter is Barely About Stacey
The calls have started up again. Stacey gets one while packing for Shadow Lake and then finds out that Claud's been called as well when she calls to tell her. Though because Claud didn't pick up on the first ring Stacey thinks Claud's been bound and gagged. Ooookay, given the creepy stuff yes, I guess so, but... he hasn't even touched any of them yet, why would he tie up Claud?
They decide to call everyone to tell them to be careful when answering the phone again. Claudia calls MA and finds out that MA got another note that says, "Why do you do the things you do?" and STILL thinks it's from Logan. Though MA also says it probably is a cruel joke, but any time she has to deal with Logan she acts like a bitch! Uuuggghhh!
MA then makes some cocoa and sees Tigger come inside and has a note on his collar. It has the usual ransom note letters-from-magazines saying YOU'RE NEXT. Of course, all of this shouldn't be here because half this chapter is about CLAUDIA AND MARY ANNE! STOP IT. I get it if it's babysitting because of the notebook or so-and-so-told-me, but this is just sort of happening. Ugh.
Then the next Friday, Stacey's walking to Claudia's and thinking about the calls and the weather. She steps off the curb and isn't paying attention as a car comes speeding down the street toward her. She freezes and the car swerves around her as she stands there contemplating if getting hit by a car will hurt. It zooms off but Stacey is able to see it's a red Mercedes with a Business Administration sticker on it. She then rushes to Claud's to report her near death experience, but more importantly that it's a clue.
And THAT is all I can take right now. The other half shall be covered soon because it just gets wackier... Just... Yeah, this book. I don't even know.
So, let's dip our toes into the frigid Shadow Lake, shall we?
Cover:
Yeah, so, this never happens. Is that supposed to be Kristy and Stacey? And is that Andrew? Why is Andrew looking away from the guy in the leather jacket? Hell, what are the mystery girls looking at? Oh, by the way, there is no man in a leather jacket who walks past the window. Hodges just glued some stuff onto the canvas from previous, rejected covers.
Anyhoooo, prologue! Oh, and the copyright page isn't in this book. The title page says, "To: Christina, From: Monica, May 2, 1999 (This is a great book)" The top of the pages is stamped Linden Free Public Library so it's clearly made some rounds. I'm going to assume Ann wrote this one, but it could have been anyone really.
Prologue, or "But boy was I in for a surprise!"
This book is being uh... framed?... by Kristy. This is the introduction of the Mystery Notebook, which, okay it wasn't until 1999 that they got that? Or, you know, this book has CLEAR time warp problems anyway so who the hell knows.
Anyway, she's just talking about going to Shadow Lake and talking about some old mysteries. Clue #1 for this mystery- the answer is in the first one she lists. Page 4. Dawn and that pet-napper. Keep that in mind before it gets hammered over your head.
I'm also snarking this with a Coke and vanilla vodka. My first booze-snark!
Chapter 1 - Kristy, or So Who's Going to Shadow Lake and Who's a Side Plot?
Kristy is babysitting for her younger siblings while everyone's our. Sam's breaking up with his girlfriend, Charlie's... I don't know, waiting in the car, and Watson and Elizabeth are at a Christmas party. Keep thinking about that Christmas party. It's not important to the plot, just the time warp.
Karen and DM are watching a horror movie on TV, telling Kristy they won't get scared. It's too cheesy to get scared at! Yeah, except Karen thinks the neighbor is a witch sooo. Karen also uses one contraction in this whole book. She says "don't" in this book, but the rest of the time she sounds EXACTLY like she does in her books while David Michael sounds normal. It is CLEARLY just Karen that is awful.
Though Kristy is preoccupied. She's thinking about how it's almost time to go to Shadow Lake because Watson wants to go check on the cabin. She gets to take some friends and is getting all excited about it because the cabin is Mansion 2.0 since it sleeps 24 comfortably. Though it hasn't been snowing and Kristy is worried there won't be any good snow up at the lake. Which... since this year was pretty dry out here, the ski season wasn't so great. Kinda understandable that Kristy wouldn't be happy for once.
At the next BSC meeting Kristy brings up the trip and asks who can go. Mal can't go because she has to watch her siblings while her parents install insulation and Jessi has to help. Shannon has French club, MA has a social studies paper and date with Logan, and Logan has a football banquet and that date. So that leaves Abby, Stacey, and Claudia who are going. Kristy says she's worried about Watson though. This is the post-heart attack era and she doesn't want him to strain himself on the trip. Again, a valid fear, but that's about it for this book. She's also worried about Stacey since Sam is going on the trip and is ~single~. She's worried they may ~rekindle~ their relationship even though Stacey's with... I don't know... Kevin... Richard... some guy.
Chapter 2 - Jessi, or Welp, Sorry Jessi!
Chapter 2 but in full. Pages 18-32 are ALL chapter 2 stuff but expanded vastly. Jessi gets two chapters in this thing and one is wasted on absolutely nothing. The only thing that comes out of it is that the Rodowskies call and need a sitter so Logan takes the job. Kristy mentions the horror movie and Mal pulls the, "With MY luck SOMETHING WEIRD will happen to YOU guys LOL!"
Oh foreshadowing... You are terrible in BSC books.
Chapter 3 - Abby, or Sgt. Johnson Should be Kicked Off the Force
Kristy and Abby are leaving a sports committee meeting in which they tried to tell the administration that they should have a say in how fundraising money gets spent since they need to use the stuff. Sort of logical but Abby proves that she is my favorite character and that I'm just like her when she says that she doubts anyone was actually listening to them. You know Kristy was thinking the exact opposite.
As they walk toward Claudia's for a meeting they hear the sound of glass breaking at the Rodoswky's neighbor's yard. They go and "investigate" and Abby thinks the police should be called- because she's the only one with a damn brain. The girls see a ratty old Ford Escort pull up as two very stereotypical robbers run out of the house and hop in the car.
They run to the Rodowsky house and have Mrs. R call the police and Kristy calls Claudia to start the meeting without them. This really is a mystery. Compared to book 100, Kristy is being rational.
Sgt. Johnson shows up and asks questions of the girls and Mrs. R. The neighbor is a Mr. Seger who isn't very social so Mrs. R doesn't know him very well. So since this is a BSC mystery he's automatically a super suspect and can't be trusted. Kristy asks if she can call Johnson for updates and he pretty much just goes, "Yeah, sure, I see no problem with that."
Kristy, this doesn't involve you anymore. You told him you saw some guys with no distinguishing anything in a crappy Escort. You couldn't get the plate number either. If anything this is a Rodowsky problem since it was THEIR neighbor. Eyeroll. Move on.
Chapter 4 - Stacey, or Let's Not Tell Our Parents Shit
Stacey says in her... notebook entry (not sure what these handwritten bits really are this time)... that she's never seen a robbery- not even in New York! Cuz she's ~sophisticated~ and would never bother to look when someone got mugged on the street corner.
Abby and Kristy get to the meeting and tell everyone about what they saw. Everyone reacts with their "OMG and you okay?!"'s and Mal's is the best:
'"No way!' shrieked Mal. 'That's great!'"
Oh, Mal. Honey. You're telling your friends it is great that they were involved in a crime. Everyone gives her side eye and Kristy just laughs. Because this book is just Dump on Mal & Jessi for these first few chapters. Mmm... Gonna be a long book, huh?
Then they start to do what they do in every mystery. They try to solve the mystery with no fucking clues. They just start spouting shit with nothing to go off of. Kristy then says she's not going to tell her parents because she doesn't want to kill Watson. Which, okay, fine. You don't want to worry Watson. BUT COME ON. You JUST saw a crime and are all worried but you won't tell your parents?! At least the called the police... but... ugh. Yeah, sure, let's just withhold info from our parents. Let's all just get off on withholding like Lucille Bluth.
Anyway, speaking of Shadow Lake, Abby starts to talk about how great a skier she is. She can do some of them hard trails and just looooves skiing. This is where we find Claud's Butt Bug for the book. She starts getting pissy because Abby is "bragging" (she sort of is, but it's really not THAT bad) while Claudia is supposed to be the best skier ever so of course she's going to be a bitch. Remember last-this winter when she was in the Winter War in this-last 8th grade? And that's not even the worst of the time warp.
Stacey starts to think about how she's worried that Sam's going on the trip. She's really involved with... Robert, I knew I wrote it in my notes. What if Sam wants to start going OH GOD MEETING RAN OVER PAST 6 EVERYONE SCATTER!
Yeah that's really how the chapter ends.
Chapter 5 - Mary Anne, or Oh My God, SHUT UP, MARY ANNE
Okay, this is the chapter that starts a COMPLETELY STUPID plot line that only serves to make MA a passive aggressive bitch toward Logan. But first, MA's letter to Penthouse:
"No one ever believes it when something strange is happening to them. I don't. I think, I'm imagining this. I think, it's all just a coincidence. I think, things like this don't really happen. Not to real people. But they do."
...
'Kay, no one really wants to hear about you and Logan kissing lightly and blushing while promising to be pure and wait for your marriage that will occur in #265: Mary Anne and the Something Blue. Think on that one.
MA's gotten a note from Logan with two words on it: STOP CRYING. She shows it to Kristy and they're both confused since Logan didn't seem to be mad or anything. Kristy just shrugs and is all, "It's a joke, PEACE!" as the bell rings, but MA is still not so sure. Though that night, around 9 pm, when she's in the middle of her homework, Kristy calls. Why is MA in the MIDDLE of her homework at 9 AT NIGHT? I don't know about you, but when I was a kid (and... in college) I did my homework as soon as I got home. When did MA start that it's 9 pm and she's still chugging along?
Hm. Back to Kristy. She says there's someone outside her house and MA tells her to call the police. She did but she wanted someone to talk to while she waited for the police to arrive. Again, very normal and a decent way to get MA in on the action. Any kid would totally be freaked if there was some creeper outside and everyone was in bed and the adults out. I'd have pissed myself at that point.
Shannon starts barking and Kristy goes to try and stop her, hanging up on MA. MA freaks and calls the police to get over to Kristy's house and is told the police just arrived. After she finds that out she thinks Kristy's dead because she starts trying to ask the 911 operator if Kristy's okay. They hang up and MA immediately calls Kristy back. A rock was thrown through the window and someone had painted, "YOU'RE NEXT" on the door but otherwise she's okay.
So here's where the creepstupid starts. The whole scenario is pretty freaky, especially for a 13-year-old. It's almost not even snark worthy because that would be a traumatic thing to go through. The snark comes in with the fact that the person wrote, "YOU'RE NEXT" when they pretty much did their creeptastic deed already. The stalking around outside, the rock... I mean, unless you're going to kidnap Kristy, what else is there? Hm. Moving on from that.
MA wants to call Logan, but omg he left that note maybe. Well when in doubt, just sleep. Before she does, she decides to sit and look out the window sadly. It's dark, but she can see someone outside near the tree. She can barely see him, but she knows he can see her since she's backlit against an incredibly dark background seeing that she's out in the country where there's no light pollution-causers.
She shuts the curtains, slams the light off, and then decides to just peek out again. There's no one there now... BUT HOLD UP. If it WAS the guy that was outside Kristy's house, did he teleport to MA's? This book has an ad for the BSC Fanclub and you get A MAP OF STONEYBROOK if you sign up. A MAP. If I had that map, I could find this out. Stoneybrook is probably like Silent Hill in that the map just changes based on who's perceiving it (though I'd just say SH2 has the "real" map cuz I like SH2).
Does MA run downstairs to tell Sharon and her dad? Pfft. No. She makes a conscious effort NOT to. She's worried the rules would be back and it's be Mary Anne, Plain and Tall all over again. You know, cuz that's a legit reason not to tell your parents there was a creeper outside the house. STOP HAVING TRAUMATIC EVENTS AND THEN BEING STUPID.
Ugh. MA then goes to the Mall with Stacey and Claudia to buy an outfit for her date with Logan to celebrate the end of the football season. He's taking her to a "real" restaurant since she can't go to the banquet or he can't take her or... I dunno. As they go to the bus stop, MA feels like she's being watched. She can't see anyone, but she swears she can feel someone watching her. Nothing happens on the ride home, but when they get back to Claudia's they start to help her prep for dinner and they smell smoke.
MA suggests someone's burning leaves, but Stacey reminds her of the time Dawn was a bitch and banned leaf burning. Okay, so, Dawn has a point but I'm sure she was still pretty heinous about it. Shut up, Dawn. As they ponder Dawn, they see smoke is starting to fill the dining room. Claudia hurries and grabs Janine who doesn't want to leave her computer. Well... it was 1999 so... that shit's expensive.
Claudia grabs her and they hurry to shut all the doors so the fire doesn't spread- I feel like I'm learning! After they're out, Claudia hurries next door to call the fire department. When they arrive they determine that the fire was started deliberately in the trash cans outside the house with the smoke going in through a window.
Again, legit creepy. Someone's messing with the girls in an actual stalker-y way. But then they do stupid shit, except for, shockingly, Claudia who somehow kicked into action mode in this chapter. This chapter was also really damn long.
Chapter 6 - Claudia, or I'm Realizing This Chapter was Useless
Let's look at Claudia's spelling: smoak, off instead of of, beleive, hapenned, some one, purpos, firefigters.
At the Friday meeting they're all trying to figure out who lit the fire. Stacey suggests Cokie, but they shoot that down in favor of Cary Retlin. Yes, Cary Retlin lit a fire and almost burned a house down. Cuz THAT'S logical. I swear, stop ruining a book that could have possibly been decent. But the police and fire marshal are on the case so Claudia isn't going to worry about it. Hm... That's new.
Abby says there hasn't been any news about the robbery. Everyone asks how the hell she knows that and she replies with, "I read the police blotter in the paper. You know, the newspaper. Local events. Duh." Though the Kishi fire was in the paper with nothing about who could have done it. They get so wrapped up in the mystery that they totally forget what they were supposed to be doing when the phone rings. They take the call and do some business before Kristy starts groaning about the snow again and Claudia is still being passive aggressive about Abby's bragging. Cuz she needs something to bitch about in EVERY book. Ugh... shut up.
The phone rings again and after a long pause the person on the other end says, "You're next."
Yep. This chapter was only good for the creeper and Claudia's bitching.
Chapter 7 - Kristy, or Hey Look, Making Shit Up is the Answer!
In Kristy's notebook entry she uses its incorrectly. Hrm.
The girls have been getting phantom phone calls again. There isn't much they can do though since it's the 90s and not everyone has a machine they can use to screen the calls and caller ID is nearly non-existant still. If I had to answer the phone blindly while getting creepy calls I'd be pretty freaked too. It's getting annoying I'm sure and the creeper knows there isn't anything they can do.
After Sunday comes they stop getting calls. They still check the paper for any news on the robbery but there's still nothing. Kristy calls Sgt. Johnson and finds out that Seger said he broke his own window while trimming his tree. Sounds logical BUT WAIT. Kristy's calling bull. It's December so who's pruning a tree? And she and Abby heard the glass break which means it happened that night when Seger wasn't home. Johnson tells her that if Seger doesn't want anything pursued then they won't pursue it so there will be no news.
I see in my notes that I wrote, "I like Abby." She snarks a line, but it's not worth repeating so... I guess I just like Abby!
Everyone drops by at lunch and say they think Seger is hiding stuff. Claudia character traits and says it's stolen art. Stacey flashes back and says counterfeit money. The money thing is something they obsess over soon too... Cuz apparently Stoneybrook is the Hood. This is confirmed when at the next meeting, Claudia says she doesn't want to sit for anyone new until all of this crime blows over (logical) and everyone agrees.
They get a call from Mrs. Arnold, but Kristy and Mary Anne decide to prank Claudia and Abby. Kristy says it's a new client who lives on Elm Street. MA says Abby's the only one free so she has to take it. It actually is sort of funny because they're all horror movie cliches and the girls don't get it. Bazinga.
Jessi then says that Becca has seen a guy in town with a blue tattoo that scared her. Then it's OMG REMEMBER THE COUNTERFEITER HAD ONE OF THOSE!!! Stacey gets the sitting notebook out and realizes they'll never find anything about that "mystery" since everything's mixed together and the time warp has ruined their sense of everything. Kristy gets a Great Idea to start the mystery notebook- I still feel like they had that before now. MA's all, "You think we'll be having more 'cases'?" and Kristy responds with, "At this rate, chyeah!"
Then Mal volunteers to go through the notebook and compile the mystery data into a separate one. Claudia is not enthused about there being more writing.
Chapter 8 - Shannon, or This Should be an Abby Chapter
Research is exciting! And scary!
The girls go to the library to do some research and don't explain how to use it for once. Abby also calls Kristy Agatha Kristy. I chuckled. Sue me, I like Abby and Agatha. They all also try to act normal around Mrs. Kishi but Abby hams it up. Mrs. Kishi just nods and smiles and tells Shannon they can find info on Stoneybrook people in the Who's Who. They find Seger in it and see he's a businessman who owns his own business. He also has a wife who is deceased and a son in high school.
They decide to photocopy the page for clues... after they say there's nothing on his entry page that would do anything to help them. Why copy something with NO information on it? Oh, I know. Plot device. Abby goes to copy the page and while doing so she starts to root through the trash, as you do, and finds pictures of Claudia, Stacey, Kristy, MA, and Dawn. They're all from the picture of them when they caught the pet napper and they were in the paper because of it.
She brings it to their attention and they decide they need to look Seger up in the news archives to see if he's done anything else. Nothing's there, of course, so Abby suggests he's using a fake name. This guy is CLEARLY evil what with him not wanting to go out very often and socialize with the Rodowsky family. And you know the tree thing. Maybe he's just weird!
And, okay, this was a Shannon chapter. Shannon doesn't DO anything though. Abby does everything so why wasn't this an Abby chapter? I think Shannon has more chapters than Jessi in this and yet in this one she's not even the focus. I really want to know who wrote this crap...
Chapter 9 - Mal, or Mal Stalking the Stalker like a Stalker
Mal's gone undercover with the ultimate disguise- as a babysitter. This is like one of two actual sitting chapters in this book. It's actually sort of shocking.
She's at the Rodowsky house, of course, and is mostly focused on looking out of the kitchen window to spy on the Seger house. They decide to make cookies since she can stay in the kitchen and watch the kids while doing so. As they bake she takes note that while Seger does have a tree in his yard, it isn't near any window.
The boys start calling the cookies Slammers because they're obsessed with Pogs. Man, we can't get a recent TV show but a fad that died as fast as it showed up made it in? I remember I bought so many of those things... I just liked looking at the art on them mostly. I don't even think I ever played the damn game.
Jackie, of course makes a mess and then lunges to open the oven when the timer goes off. Mal catches him and when the oven door opens her glasses steam up so she has to take them off. Though when she does she sees a shadow outside. She cleans her glasses and hurries to look, seeing a short guy with brown hair, a hat, backpack, ratty jeans and shoes, and an old jacket. He's going in through Seger's side door so Mal writes everything down in the notebook.
Then there's a weirdly written passage...
"And the only other disaster was when Jackie slammed the door on his finger and it fell in crumbs to the floor. As you may have guessed, 'it' wasn't his finger, it was the cookie he was holding."
...who... what is the point... Discuss.
Abby then comes by to relieve Mal from her stakeout/sitting (well no, she's just going home). They see Seger's car pull into his driveway and Abby takes that to mean she can go examine it. She gets the plate number, a description of the car and Seger, and finds there are two Business Association stickers on the car- one for last year and one for the current year (whichever those are).
The next day there's an emergency meeting on the stairs of the school. They go over Mal and Abby's new clues and decide they need to go to the business bureau. When they arrive they see there's a male secretary (REPRESENT. As a male who is a receptionist, I am fond of this) who just photo copies the list of members for their for their flimsy, "School project!" excuse. Though after he gives it to them and they go to leave he yells for them to STOP. He copied the wrong list. It was last year's and he has the current one's list in his desk.
...
Ugh.
Of course they keep the old one because male secretary was a plot device.
Claudia thinks Seger must be an embezzler and his house must be full of money. But he owns the business so he gets all the money anyway. Though this is Claudia.
This was also Mal's only chapter... Logan has more than Mal.
Chapter 10 - Stacey, or This Chapter is Barely About Stacey
The calls have started up again. Stacey gets one while packing for Shadow Lake and then finds out that Claud's been called as well when she calls to tell her. Though because Claud didn't pick up on the first ring Stacey thinks Claud's been bound and gagged. Ooookay, given the creepy stuff yes, I guess so, but... he hasn't even touched any of them yet, why would he tie up Claud?
They decide to call everyone to tell them to be careful when answering the phone again. Claudia calls MA and finds out that MA got another note that says, "Why do you do the things you do?" and STILL thinks it's from Logan. Though MA also says it probably is a cruel joke, but any time she has to deal with Logan she acts like a bitch! Uuuggghhh!
MA then makes some cocoa and sees Tigger come inside and has a note on his collar. It has the usual ransom note letters-from-magazines saying YOU'RE NEXT. Of course, all of this shouldn't be here because half this chapter is about CLAUDIA AND MARY ANNE! STOP IT. I get it if it's babysitting because of the notebook or so-and-so-told-me, but this is just sort of happening. Ugh.
Then the next Friday, Stacey's walking to Claudia's and thinking about the calls and the weather. She steps off the curb and isn't paying attention as a car comes speeding down the street toward her. She freezes and the car swerves around her as she stands there contemplating if getting hit by a car will hurt. It zooms off but Stacey is able to see it's a red Mercedes with a Business Administration sticker on it. She then rushes to Claud's to report her near death experience, but more importantly that it's a clue.
And THAT is all I can take right now. The other half shall be covered soon because it just gets wackier... Just... Yeah, this book. I don't even know.