#35: Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook
Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six
Babysitting chapter, courtesy of Kristy. It's Karen and Andrew's Big House weekend, so, natch, Watson and Elizabeth have tickets to something. Sam, Charlie, and even Nannie have plans (ha ha, Kristy doesn't), so Kristy is left to sit for David Michael, Karen, Andrew, and Emily Michelle. Kristy blames a thunderstorm for influencing Karen to ruin the evening with Ben Brewer stories. I blame Kristy for not putting a fucking muzzle on that kid.
First, Karen starts off with Morbidda Destiny stories, convincing Andrew that if the witch ever catches Boo-Boo, she's going to put a curse on him and he'll never be the same. Since he always comes off as a grumpy old animal, this is probably a step up, but Andrew is upset, because he enjoys nearly having his face clawed off when he wants to pet the cat.
Stacey tells us that Kristy has no patience for Karen's stories, and I call bullshit. She seems to constantly be drawing from some deep, hidden reserve of patience specifically for Karen's stupid stories, because she's always putting up with them. She tries to take the kids' minds off the hope of nice cats by suggesting they make popcorn. The kids play the Name Game while she does so. In a moment of real cuteness, Andrew gets stuck on "bananafana" and keeps doing that part over and over. They quickly run out of names and start on appliances the see around the kitchen. "Toaster, toaster, bo boaster, bananafana fo foaster..." Reading this when I was little, it was the first time I realized this was actually, like, a thing, outside of the song. I never knew anyone bored enough to actually go around doing this.
They settle down with the popcorn and play some Chutes and Ladders. Halfway through, Karen remarks that she heard Ben Brewer pacing and throwing his boots around last night. Then a thunderstorm starts and all the kids cower in Kristy's lap. When the storm is over, Kristy tells them to go to bed. The kids are wired still, so Kristy reads to them, then gives up and sings to them. David Michael's favorite "lullabye," we're told, is the theme from Ghostbusters, which Kristy/Stacey erroneously refer to as "Who Ya Gonna Call." I like to imagine that the children were called upon to fill in the responses of Chevy Chase, John Candy, & co. to answer the eternal question of who they intended to call.
Once the kids are in bed, David Michael wants some water. In my house, that would mean you got your ass up and got yourself some water from the bathroom sink, but whatever, Kristy brings him a glass of water and waits while he drinks it. Then Karen gets up and says she hears Ben walking around again. Kristy handles the situation expertly by saying, "No, you don't. Go back to bed." Then Emily Michelle wants something, then Andrew wants some water. These kids are going to be wetting the bed left and right.
Kristy is unsettled and thinking about the freaky shit that went down at the abandoned house. She paces around. We're told about her pacing adventures in comical detail. At one point, she opens the fridge, looks inside, and closes it again without having any idea what she's seen in there (so not Zuul, I guess.) In another exciting moment, she eats the last handful of popcorn and then--get this--she washes the bowl out. And! She checks on her younger siblings who are, believe it or not, asleep. Kristy, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for explaining all this to Stacey in detail so she could later explain it to us.
She finally wanders into Watson's library, and Stacey feels the need to point out that Watson is so rich that he has a room just for his books, like this is unheard of or something. You were the one playing all that Clue with Charlotte the other night, Stace.
In the library, Kristy finds some old books Watson just bought at an estate sale. She picks up a history of Stoneybrook, hoping to find something about the old house. She opens the book and immediately spots the name Brewer inside, marveling that they really have been in Stoneybrook for a long time! Um, that last name isn't that uncommon. It's my boyfriend's last name, and I have countless other Brewers as regular customers at work who are no known relation to him. Now, this isn't a tiny town (nor is it a big one), but how small can Stoneybrook be? They have at least a few elementary and middle schools. I've lived in a small town before, and it had zero schools, zero grocery stores, zero restaurants, and one stoplight. Even there, not everyone with the same last name was related.
Anyway, ANYWAY, Stacey goes on to tell us about the blizzard of 1888, when the snow was so high that people were walking out of their second-story windows. She feels like that would be fun. Fun. Fun?! I'm sure it was a blast to the people sinking into snow over their heads, people desperately trying to make a trek outside of their house to get some food and driftwood before their family starved and froze to death. Oh, and I bet it was just fantastic when suppliers couldn't make it over the snowy roads and train tracks to town and you were completely, utterly cut off from the rest of civilization for weeks. Sounds great and not remotely bleak, miserable, or depressing.
As Kristy looks through an old book, an aged map falls out. She finds some familiar landmarks, reads the old handwriting, and discovers that the entire town was built over an ancient burial ground. And! The abandoned old house was built over the most sacred spot of all! Well, uh, Kristy, if Watson hasn't already built you kids a pool in the backyard, for the love of god, don't let him. We all know how that'll turn out.
Thoroughly freaked, Kristy puts the map back in the book and decides that storytime is over. She takes the books back to the box in the corner and starts repacking them. As she's doing so, she feels a presence in the room with her, watching her. She keeps packing the books away, very slowly, but finally knows she has to turn around. When she does, she sees Charlie and Sam in the doorway, silently making faces at her, and is so startled that she screams and falls over. Cue Charlie and Sam laughing for the rest of forever.
Chapter Seven
Stacey's walking down the street in New York. Gary Rockman's running after her, shouting, "Stacey, please come to me!" over and over. This is kind of an odd way to put it, and I feel like if I were in this position, I would run the other way, very fast, unless the person chasing me were Cillian Murphy.
Stacey wakes up and finds that it's actually Charlotte shouting for her, and I wonder if Gary Rockman's voice was that of an eight-year-old girl in the dream. Stacey goes in to find Charlotte flushed, feverish, and crying. Poor kid. Stacey feels bad for ignoring the warning signs, which well she should.
Dr. Johanssen left some emergency numbers, including one for Charlotte's pediatrician, a Dr. Dellenkamp. Stacey Mom drops them at the hospital and leaves to go shopping. Charlotte sleeps with her head in Stacey's lap while Stacey complains about the ugly waiting room furniture and how uncomfortable the material is. Shut up, Stacey. Unlike your sick companion, your throat isn't a huge swollen lump of pain sitting a few inches below a head that's burning up and probably feels like it's twice its normal size.
Stacey checks out the reading materials at hand. There's a Reader's Digest from 1979. It's always bothered me when I see jokes about old-ass stuff in waiting rooms, because that's pretty much never the case in waiting rooms I frequent, but now the waiting room from my job has a National Geographic from like '73 or something. I'm going to guess it's intentional, for some reason, because there's a pretty wide variety of up-to-date stuff in there, as well, and I see the owner changing out the magazines all the time.
Her other option is a current issue of Highlights for Children. I. Loved. Highlights. I had a subscription and I still have all my old ones in a box somewhere, dating back to 1989, which means that whatever imaginary issue Stacey is supposedly leafing through, I actually own. She comes across "Goofus and Gallant" and complains that Gallant is a goody-goody. Pffft. Like anyone in the BSC universe has room to touch that one.
Then a cute guy walks in, zeroes in on Stacey, and zeroes in on what she's reading. She drops the magazine like it's on fire and feels humiliated. Funk that. Highlights rules. Ain't no shame.
After a brief exam, Dr. Dellenkamp diagnoses Charlotte with tonsillitis--again. Charlotte is very unhappy to hear this. When they stop to pick up the prescription, Charlotte whines about how much she hates it. I guess I can't really blame her. I had to take medicine, both pills and liquid, quite a bit as a child, but I never put up a fight, because I knew it was going to make me better. I was briefly on a medicine that tasted just like bavarian cream (not the real stuff, but that crap they put in doughnuts and call bavarian cream). This was when we discovered that I was allergic to codeine, so I was taken off the medicine pretty quickly, and I've never been able to stand the taste of that yellowish cream filling since. WHITE CREAM 4 LIFE.
Aaanyway, so Stacey basically says she feels for the kid, buuuut she's tired of hearing her complain, regardless. As soon as they get back to the McGill household, Charlotte throws herself down on the couch, buries her face in a cushion, and refuses to take the medicine. You know, I don't recall Charlotte ever being this realistically child-like before. Stacey lies and says the medicine smells fine, then offers to make her an ice cream soda if she'll take it without any more fuss. Stacey admits that this is bribing and isn't the right way to go about it, and maybe not, but she's just a kid, man, and she's sick. In a stranger's house. Missing her parents. Worrying about her grandfather. Cut her a little slack, geez. Also, I'm picturing Stacey's idea of "the right way" to make her take medicine, which would include tying down Charlotte's arms and legs while Mrs. McGill pinches her mouth closed and waits for her to run out of air and open her mouth.
Charlotte still refuses to budge, so Stacey's bribe was full of fail anyway. Stacey feels herself getting frustrated (at the first sign of a child who doesn't bend to her will), but reminds herself of all the crap I just pointed out above that's probably making Charlotte act a little unpleasant. She comes up with the idea of showing Charlotte what she has to do every day to manage her diabeetus. Yeah, guilt-trip her into taking her medicine, that'll shut her up. Oh, yeah, you've got it soooo hard, chugging this shitty cherry syrup, right, Charlotte? Well, GUESS WHAT STACEY HAS TO DO, YOU LITTLE BRAT. She has to prick herself for tests and give herself shots every day. You wanna trade places for a little while, huh, Char-Char? You wanna drive a needle into your own skin every day while Stacey drinks your fucking cherry drink off for you? No? Then calm the hell down and taking your damn medicine.
This tactic works and Charlotte takes her prescription without any further problems. And Stacey decides to make her the ice cream soda anyway. She brings it up on a tray, along with a little vase with a flower in it, because Charlotte deserves to be spoiled a little. Spoiled a little. Taking two seconds to pluck a handful of dandelions out of your backyard isn't going to spoil anyone, Stacey, but you go ahead.
She spends the day in Charlotte's room with her, playing every game she has. "Yes, that does include War, if you're wondering." I wasn't. After a nap, Charlotte calls her parents and learns that her grandfather's surgery went well and everything's moving along as planned. About time this kid got some good news.
Chapter Eight
Charlotte's feeling better the next day, but still has to take it easy. Stacey's sick of all the games they've been playing, so she invites Kristy to bring the old books and the map over. They look through the things and Stacey finds herself doubting the authenticity of the map. Kristy and Charlotte give her a Look and Stacey goes all Agent Scully on them and scoffs that they just believe it's real because they want to. She also admits that she's growing more interested in the boring old house, and thinks about how Lainie from New York wouldn't believe it, because if Lainie were involved in a mystery, it'd be about who stole the countess's jewels or whether or not Elvis is haunting the Hard Rock Café. Because big city gals don't care about, like, houses and stuff. Everybody knows that.
Kristy wonders aloud who owns the house, and Charlotte suggests that the owner is dead and it's his ghost that they heard. Kristy shoots down this idea by saying, "How else could that developer ever have bought the house in order to knock it down?" Which seems like a dumb thing to imply that an eight-year-old should have already considered. Then Kristy thinks they should call Mary Anne, because she might know how to track down the owner, because her family's lived in the area for a long time. Um, so has Watson's, you already said, but I don't see you checking with Karen on this. Wtf do they want from Mary Ane here, seriously?
Understandably, MA has no idea what to tell them, but Kristy orders her to be on the lookout for clues in her own home, since the house is so old. What, do they want her to check the secret passage? Stacey thinks they might be making a mystery out of nothing, but is happy to see Charlotte engaged and not moping around feeling sick. I'll give her that.
Chapter Nine
Journal entry. Claudia knows that her friends dont think of the wordes "libary" and "Claud" in the same sentense, but they sure are now. She never knewe how much you could find out by using the referense books. Maybe when shes older she'll will be a libarian like her mom oh yeah, P.S. Gabie and Miryiah had a grate time at the libary to.
Claudia is babysitting the older Perkins kids so their mom can take baby Laura to Dr. Dellenkamp. Dr. Dellenkamp must make out like a bandit when Dr. Johanssen's out of town. Claud asks the girls if they want to go to the library for story hour, which will be followed by the painting of a mural to illustrate one of the stories being read. Gabbie wants to know what a mural is, and Myriah is happy to tell her, even though I don't think most five-year-olds would know.
The weird third-person-within-a-first-person perspective is shattered when Stacey asks us personally if we've ever read The Little House, one of the storytime books for the day. She tells us it's a great book about a little house and the big city that grows up around it. But she won't spoil the ending for us. Thank god, it sounds like a taut thriller.
Claudia drags the girls to the library in a wagon. Along the way, they sing "Tomorrow" and "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile," from Annie, and she points out, of course, that they know every word. Then they sing something from Sleeping Beauty and act it out. Yes, yes, we get it, they have perfect, bottomless pit memories.
Claud has trouble finding the local history books and is embarrassed that she doesn't know her way around the library when she's the head librarians daughter. Fortunately, some guy they know named Bruce Schermerhorn is there to tell her which way to go. Boy, she really lucked out, finding him there. I mean, if not for Bruce, she'd have to ask someone else she knows where to find the books.
After looking through a lot of boring history, she finds some stuff confirming everything about ancient burial grounds and sacred spots, and wonders how spirits can be at rest when they have Burger Kings on top of them. She who cannot spell "the" has the insight to check old property tax records and finds the the house is owned by someone named Ronald Hennessey. Claud, stumped as to what to do with this new information, turns to her mom, who smiles (condescendingly, I feel) and suggests that she check the phone book. Claudia wants to fall through the floor in embarrassment at this obvious answer. Really, though, why's Kishi Mom gotta be like that?
Claudia checks the phone book and Stacey whips out a drumroll and asks us to guess what. Just guess. Guess what?! HE'S TOTALLY IN THE PHONE BOOK, RIGHT THERE UNDER HIS NAME AND STUFF. And he's living where all old Stoneybrookers eventually go to die, Stoneybrook Manor.
Chapter Ten
Stacey outfit description! Pink polka-dotted short skirt with suspender straps and an over-sized white tee, pink high-top sneakers folded down to show their striped lining, and pink plastic heart earrings with little pink hearts hanging down from them. She also mentions that she likes pink, in case we didn't get that impression.
Stacey arrives home from school Monday to find Charlotte feeling "all well" (her quotes). They decide to take a walk. Stacey wants us to guess again. This time, she wants us to guess where they went on their walk. No, no, just guess, okay? Yeah. They went to that boring old abandoned house down the street again, yay! Maybe Stacey is secretly hoping a drug-addled hobo will run out and shank Charlotte? Then she won't have to go spoiling her "little sister" with any more vases of flowers and ice cream soda promises.
They arrive at the house before four, but find the workmen quickly packing to leave. When the workers are gone, the girls circle the house, as they did previously. Stacey tells Charlotte she thinks the sounds they heard were just their imagination. Apparently, she thinks Charlotte is too stupid to question why their imaginations are working in tandem. Charlotte is not, and points out that they also saw some weird stuff, like the swarm of flies and the face at the window. Stacey tells her the flies were probably actually termites. I guess, but it could also have been flies that were attracted to something old and rotten. While Stacey is trying to think of a comforting lie to explain the face in the window, Charlotte starts yelling about fire.
Flames are coming out of a window on the first floor. Stacey looks around frantically, spots a wheelbarrow full of rainwater in the weeds, and starts pushing it over, sloshing dirty water all over herself in her haste. She looks up when Charlotte's screaming stops and sees that there is no fire. She sets down the wheelbarrow, walks to the window, and inspects. The wood isn't charred, the paint isn't blistered, the sill doesn't feel warm, and she doesn't smell anything burning.
Charlotte asks hopefully if this was also their imaginations. Stacey isn't sure what to tell her, and they leave quickly. For once, a meeting is glossed over. Stace says they mostly just talked about the old house. For the rest of the evening, she avoids it in conversation with Charlotte, then has trouble sleeping. When she finally manages to drift off, she dreams she's standing in front of the house. The whole structure is on fire and she can see a figure in one of the windows, pleading to be rescued, only she can't move to get help. That really is pretty disturbing. I mean, for a kid's book? 'Cause it'd be an absolutely traumatizing thing for anyone to witness in real life.
Awake again, she lies there trying to relax and resist the urge to go sleep in her mom's room. Aww. She's finally starting to feel less tense when Charlotte busts down her door, jumps into bed with her, and curls up in a shaking ball under the covers. Charlotte eventually calms down and tells her about the nightmare she just had. In it, she's standing in front of the house amid a violet thunderstorm. The earth begins to shake and she sees a pair of old, bony hands beckoning to her from the gaping front doorway. Stacey wonders what it is that draws them to the house while simultaneously scaring them away, and suddenly, I feel like we're in a perfume ad.
Stacey tucks Charlotte in with her, musing to herself that Charlotte probably thinks it's so she won't be afraid, but that the little girl is as much of a comfort to her as she is to the little girl. Aw.
Chapter Six
Babysitting chapter, courtesy of Kristy. It's Karen and Andrew's Big House weekend, so, natch, Watson and Elizabeth have tickets to something. Sam, Charlie, and even Nannie have plans (ha ha, Kristy doesn't), so Kristy is left to sit for David Michael, Karen, Andrew, and Emily Michelle. Kristy blames a thunderstorm for influencing Karen to ruin the evening with Ben Brewer stories. I blame Kristy for not putting a fucking muzzle on that kid.
First, Karen starts off with Morbidda Destiny stories, convincing Andrew that if the witch ever catches Boo-Boo, she's going to put a curse on him and he'll never be the same. Since he always comes off as a grumpy old animal, this is probably a step up, but Andrew is upset, because he enjoys nearly having his face clawed off when he wants to pet the cat.
Stacey tells us that Kristy has no patience for Karen's stories, and I call bullshit. She seems to constantly be drawing from some deep, hidden reserve of patience specifically for Karen's stupid stories, because she's always putting up with them. She tries to take the kids' minds off the hope of nice cats by suggesting they make popcorn. The kids play the Name Game while she does so. In a moment of real cuteness, Andrew gets stuck on "bananafana" and keeps doing that part over and over. They quickly run out of names and start on appliances the see around the kitchen. "Toaster, toaster, bo boaster, bananafana fo foaster..." Reading this when I was little, it was the first time I realized this was actually, like, a thing, outside of the song. I never knew anyone bored enough to actually go around doing this.
They settle down with the popcorn and play some Chutes and Ladders. Halfway through, Karen remarks that she heard Ben Brewer pacing and throwing his boots around last night. Then a thunderstorm starts and all the kids cower in Kristy's lap. When the storm is over, Kristy tells them to go to bed. The kids are wired still, so Kristy reads to them, then gives up and sings to them. David Michael's favorite "lullabye," we're told, is the theme from Ghostbusters, which Kristy/Stacey erroneously refer to as "Who Ya Gonna Call." I like to imagine that the children were called upon to fill in the responses of Chevy Chase, John Candy, & co. to answer the eternal question of who they intended to call.
Once the kids are in bed, David Michael wants some water. In my house, that would mean you got your ass up and got yourself some water from the bathroom sink, but whatever, Kristy brings him a glass of water and waits while he drinks it. Then Karen gets up and says she hears Ben walking around again. Kristy handles the situation expertly by saying, "No, you don't. Go back to bed." Then Emily Michelle wants something, then Andrew wants some water. These kids are going to be wetting the bed left and right.
Kristy is unsettled and thinking about the freaky shit that went down at the abandoned house. She paces around. We're told about her pacing adventures in comical detail. At one point, she opens the fridge, looks inside, and closes it again without having any idea what she's seen in there (so not Zuul, I guess.) In another exciting moment, she eats the last handful of popcorn and then--get this--she washes the bowl out. And! She checks on her younger siblings who are, believe it or not, asleep. Kristy, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for explaining all this to Stacey in detail so she could later explain it to us.
She finally wanders into Watson's library, and Stacey feels the need to point out that Watson is so rich that he has a room just for his books, like this is unheard of or something. You were the one playing all that Clue with Charlotte the other night, Stace.
In the library, Kristy finds some old books Watson just bought at an estate sale. She picks up a history of Stoneybrook, hoping to find something about the old house. She opens the book and immediately spots the name Brewer inside, marveling that they really have been in Stoneybrook for a long time! Um, that last name isn't that uncommon. It's my boyfriend's last name, and I have countless other Brewers as regular customers at work who are no known relation to him. Now, this isn't a tiny town (nor is it a big one), but how small can Stoneybrook be? They have at least a few elementary and middle schools. I've lived in a small town before, and it had zero schools, zero grocery stores, zero restaurants, and one stoplight. Even there, not everyone with the same last name was related.
Anyway, ANYWAY, Stacey goes on to tell us about the blizzard of 1888, when the snow was so high that people were walking out of their second-story windows. She feels like that would be fun. Fun. Fun?! I'm sure it was a blast to the people sinking into snow over their heads, people desperately trying to make a trek outside of their house to get some food and driftwood before their family starved and froze to death. Oh, and I bet it was just fantastic when suppliers couldn't make it over the snowy roads and train tracks to town and you were completely, utterly cut off from the rest of civilization for weeks. Sounds great and not remotely bleak, miserable, or depressing.
As Kristy looks through an old book, an aged map falls out. She finds some familiar landmarks, reads the old handwriting, and discovers that the entire town was built over an ancient burial ground. And! The abandoned old house was built over the most sacred spot of all! Well, uh, Kristy, if Watson hasn't already built you kids a pool in the backyard, for the love of god, don't let him. We all know how that'll turn out.
Thoroughly freaked, Kristy puts the map back in the book and decides that storytime is over. She takes the books back to the box in the corner and starts repacking them. As she's doing so, she feels a presence in the room with her, watching her. She keeps packing the books away, very slowly, but finally knows she has to turn around. When she does, she sees Charlie and Sam in the doorway, silently making faces at her, and is so startled that she screams and falls over. Cue Charlie and Sam laughing for the rest of forever.
Chapter Seven
Stacey's walking down the street in New York. Gary Rockman's running after her, shouting, "Stacey, please come to me!" over and over. This is kind of an odd way to put it, and I feel like if I were in this position, I would run the other way, very fast, unless the person chasing me were Cillian Murphy.
Stacey wakes up and finds that it's actually Charlotte shouting for her, and I wonder if Gary Rockman's voice was that of an eight-year-old girl in the dream. Stacey goes in to find Charlotte flushed, feverish, and crying. Poor kid. Stacey feels bad for ignoring the warning signs, which well she should.
Dr. Johanssen left some emergency numbers, including one for Charlotte's pediatrician, a Dr. Dellenkamp. Stacey Mom drops them at the hospital and leaves to go shopping. Charlotte sleeps with her head in Stacey's lap while Stacey complains about the ugly waiting room furniture and how uncomfortable the material is. Shut up, Stacey. Unlike your sick companion, your throat isn't a huge swollen lump of pain sitting a few inches below a head that's burning up and probably feels like it's twice its normal size.
Stacey checks out the reading materials at hand. There's a Reader's Digest from 1979. It's always bothered me when I see jokes about old-ass stuff in waiting rooms, because that's pretty much never the case in waiting rooms I frequent, but now the waiting room from my job has a National Geographic from like '73 or something. I'm going to guess it's intentional, for some reason, because there's a pretty wide variety of up-to-date stuff in there, as well, and I see the owner changing out the magazines all the time.
Her other option is a current issue of Highlights for Children. I. Loved. Highlights. I had a subscription and I still have all my old ones in a box somewhere, dating back to 1989, which means that whatever imaginary issue Stacey is supposedly leafing through, I actually own. She comes across "Goofus and Gallant" and complains that Gallant is a goody-goody. Pffft. Like anyone in the BSC universe has room to touch that one.
Then a cute guy walks in, zeroes in on Stacey, and zeroes in on what she's reading. She drops the magazine like it's on fire and feels humiliated. Funk that. Highlights rules. Ain't no shame.
After a brief exam, Dr. Dellenkamp diagnoses Charlotte with tonsillitis--again. Charlotte is very unhappy to hear this. When they stop to pick up the prescription, Charlotte whines about how much she hates it. I guess I can't really blame her. I had to take medicine, both pills and liquid, quite a bit as a child, but I never put up a fight, because I knew it was going to make me better. I was briefly on a medicine that tasted just like bavarian cream (not the real stuff, but that crap they put in doughnuts and call bavarian cream). This was when we discovered that I was allergic to codeine, so I was taken off the medicine pretty quickly, and I've never been able to stand the taste of that yellowish cream filling since. WHITE CREAM 4 LIFE.
Aaanyway, so Stacey basically says she feels for the kid, buuuut she's tired of hearing her complain, regardless. As soon as they get back to the McGill household, Charlotte throws herself down on the couch, buries her face in a cushion, and refuses to take the medicine. You know, I don't recall Charlotte ever being this realistically child-like before. Stacey lies and says the medicine smells fine, then offers to make her an ice cream soda if she'll take it without any more fuss. Stacey admits that this is bribing and isn't the right way to go about it, and maybe not, but she's just a kid, man, and she's sick. In a stranger's house. Missing her parents. Worrying about her grandfather. Cut her a little slack, geez. Also, I'm picturing Stacey's idea of "the right way" to make her take medicine, which would include tying down Charlotte's arms and legs while Mrs. McGill pinches her mouth closed and waits for her to run out of air and open her mouth.
Charlotte still refuses to budge, so Stacey's bribe was full of fail anyway. Stacey feels herself getting frustrated (at the first sign of a child who doesn't bend to her will), but reminds herself of all the crap I just pointed out above that's probably making Charlotte act a little unpleasant. She comes up with the idea of showing Charlotte what she has to do every day to manage her diabeetus. Yeah, guilt-trip her into taking her medicine, that'll shut her up. Oh, yeah, you've got it soooo hard, chugging this shitty cherry syrup, right, Charlotte? Well, GUESS WHAT STACEY HAS TO DO, YOU LITTLE BRAT. She has to prick herself for tests and give herself shots every day. You wanna trade places for a little while, huh, Char-Char? You wanna drive a needle into your own skin every day while Stacey drinks your fucking cherry drink off for you? No? Then calm the hell down and taking your damn medicine.
This tactic works and Charlotte takes her prescription without any further problems. And Stacey decides to make her the ice cream soda anyway. She brings it up on a tray, along with a little vase with a flower in it, because Charlotte deserves to be spoiled a little. Spoiled a little. Taking two seconds to pluck a handful of dandelions out of your backyard isn't going to spoil anyone, Stacey, but you go ahead.
She spends the day in Charlotte's room with her, playing every game she has. "Yes, that does include War, if you're wondering." I wasn't. After a nap, Charlotte calls her parents and learns that her grandfather's surgery went well and everything's moving along as planned. About time this kid got some good news.
Chapter Eight
Charlotte's feeling better the next day, but still has to take it easy. Stacey's sick of all the games they've been playing, so she invites Kristy to bring the old books and the map over. They look through the things and Stacey finds herself doubting the authenticity of the map. Kristy and Charlotte give her a Look and Stacey goes all Agent Scully on them and scoffs that they just believe it's real because they want to. She also admits that she's growing more interested in the boring old house, and thinks about how Lainie from New York wouldn't believe it, because if Lainie were involved in a mystery, it'd be about who stole the countess's jewels or whether or not Elvis is haunting the Hard Rock Café. Because big city gals don't care about, like, houses and stuff. Everybody knows that.
Kristy wonders aloud who owns the house, and Charlotte suggests that the owner is dead and it's his ghost that they heard. Kristy shoots down this idea by saying, "How else could that developer ever have bought the house in order to knock it down?" Which seems like a dumb thing to imply that an eight-year-old should have already considered. Then Kristy thinks they should call Mary Anne, because she might know how to track down the owner, because her family's lived in the area for a long time. Um, so has Watson's, you already said, but I don't see you checking with Karen on this. Wtf do they want from Mary Ane here, seriously?
Understandably, MA has no idea what to tell them, but Kristy orders her to be on the lookout for clues in her own home, since the house is so old. What, do they want her to check the secret passage? Stacey thinks they might be making a mystery out of nothing, but is happy to see Charlotte engaged and not moping around feeling sick. I'll give her that.
Chapter Nine
Journal entry. Claudia knows that her friends dont think of the wordes "libary" and "Claud" in the same sentense, but they sure are now. She never knewe how much you could find out by using the referense books. Maybe when shes older she'll will be a libarian like her mom oh yeah, P.S. Gabie and Miryiah had a grate time at the libary to.
Claudia is babysitting the older Perkins kids so their mom can take baby Laura to Dr. Dellenkamp. Dr. Dellenkamp must make out like a bandit when Dr. Johanssen's out of town. Claud asks the girls if they want to go to the library for story hour, which will be followed by the painting of a mural to illustrate one of the stories being read. Gabbie wants to know what a mural is, and Myriah is happy to tell her, even though I don't think most five-year-olds would know.
The weird third-person-within-a-first-person perspective is shattered when Stacey asks us personally if we've ever read The Little House, one of the storytime books for the day. She tells us it's a great book about a little house and the big city that grows up around it. But she won't spoil the ending for us. Thank god, it sounds like a taut thriller.
Claudia drags the girls to the library in a wagon. Along the way, they sing "Tomorrow" and "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile," from Annie, and she points out, of course, that they know every word. Then they sing something from Sleeping Beauty and act it out. Yes, yes, we get it, they have perfect, bottomless pit memories.
Claud has trouble finding the local history books and is embarrassed that she doesn't know her way around the library when she's the head librarians daughter. Fortunately, some guy they know named Bruce Schermerhorn is there to tell her which way to go. Boy, she really lucked out, finding him there. I mean, if not for Bruce, she'd have to ask someone else she knows where to find the books.
After looking through a lot of boring history, she finds some stuff confirming everything about ancient burial grounds and sacred spots, and wonders how spirits can be at rest when they have Burger Kings on top of them. She who cannot spell "the" has the insight to check old property tax records and finds the the house is owned by someone named Ronald Hennessey. Claud, stumped as to what to do with this new information, turns to her mom, who smiles (condescendingly, I feel) and suggests that she check the phone book. Claudia wants to fall through the floor in embarrassment at this obvious answer. Really, though, why's Kishi Mom gotta be like that?
Claudia checks the phone book and Stacey whips out a drumroll and asks us to guess what. Just guess. Guess what?! HE'S TOTALLY IN THE PHONE BOOK, RIGHT THERE UNDER HIS NAME AND STUFF. And he's living where all old Stoneybrookers eventually go to die, Stoneybrook Manor.
Chapter Ten
Stacey outfit description! Pink polka-dotted short skirt with suspender straps and an over-sized white tee, pink high-top sneakers folded down to show their striped lining, and pink plastic heart earrings with little pink hearts hanging down from them. She also mentions that she likes pink, in case we didn't get that impression.
Stacey arrives home from school Monday to find Charlotte feeling "all well" (her quotes). They decide to take a walk. Stacey wants us to guess again. This time, she wants us to guess where they went on their walk. No, no, just guess, okay? Yeah. They went to that boring old abandoned house down the street again, yay! Maybe Stacey is secretly hoping a drug-addled hobo will run out and shank Charlotte? Then she won't have to go spoiling her "little sister" with any more vases of flowers and ice cream soda promises.
They arrive at the house before four, but find the workmen quickly packing to leave. When the workers are gone, the girls circle the house, as they did previously. Stacey tells Charlotte she thinks the sounds they heard were just their imagination. Apparently, she thinks Charlotte is too stupid to question why their imaginations are working in tandem. Charlotte is not, and points out that they also saw some weird stuff, like the swarm of flies and the face at the window. Stacey tells her the flies were probably actually termites. I guess, but it could also have been flies that were attracted to something old and rotten. While Stacey is trying to think of a comforting lie to explain the face in the window, Charlotte starts yelling about fire.
Flames are coming out of a window on the first floor. Stacey looks around frantically, spots a wheelbarrow full of rainwater in the weeds, and starts pushing it over, sloshing dirty water all over herself in her haste. She looks up when Charlotte's screaming stops and sees that there is no fire. She sets down the wheelbarrow, walks to the window, and inspects. The wood isn't charred, the paint isn't blistered, the sill doesn't feel warm, and she doesn't smell anything burning.
Charlotte asks hopefully if this was also their imaginations. Stacey isn't sure what to tell her, and they leave quickly. For once, a meeting is glossed over. Stace says they mostly just talked about the old house. For the rest of the evening, she avoids it in conversation with Charlotte, then has trouble sleeping. When she finally manages to drift off, she dreams she's standing in front of the house. The whole structure is on fire and she can see a figure in one of the windows, pleading to be rescued, only she can't move to get help. That really is pretty disturbing. I mean, for a kid's book? 'Cause it'd be an absolutely traumatizing thing for anyone to witness in real life.
Awake again, she lies there trying to relax and resist the urge to go sleep in her mom's room. Aww. She's finally starting to feel less tense when Charlotte busts down her door, jumps into bed with her, and curls up in a shaking ball under the covers. Charlotte eventually calms down and tells her about the nightmare she just had. In it, she's standing in front of the house amid a violet thunderstorm. The earth begins to shake and she sees a pair of old, bony hands beckoning to her from the gaping front doorway. Stacey wonders what it is that draws them to the house while simultaneously scaring them away, and suddenly, I feel like we're in a perfume ad.
Stacey tucks Charlotte in with her, musing to herself that Charlotte probably thinks it's so she won't be afraid, but that the little girl is as much of a comfort to her as she is to the little girl. Aw.