SS#2: Baby-sitters' Summer Vacation
Tagline: Good-bye Stoneybrook...hello, Camp Mohawk!
Okay, I'll come clean: I'm a camp geek. So a book that merges my love for the BSC and my love of camp? JACKPOT! The only thing that could have made this better would be if they went to a music camp, but nobody at this stage has that as their sole trait, so I'm left by myself as a real-life Alyson Hannigan (except I *never* did *that* with my flute. Hello, grody).
Much like the other BSC books I've re-read as an adult, this one has left me disappointed, so at least they're consistent, eh? Also consistent: Ann not knowing what the heck is going on. Like, apparently 12-year-olds don't exist. Also, if you whine hard enough, a camp will create a position for you. And then there's Karen...what, did Watson get her for a whole two weeks? Of course he'd send her to camp! Why would he want to spend time with his child? Ugh.
So, I guess I should apologize before I even begin. I'm long-winded with the regular BSC books; I'll try not to go overboard here, but no promises.
Each chapter starts with a postcard from one of the sitters to whomever; I'll include names and addresses, simply because they're interesting, and because at least one includes a name I didn't think was possible.
Chapter 1: Stacey
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Edward McGill
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 12E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: Intertwined hearts
Yes, Stacey's back in New York at the time this book takes place. It's summer, the first of many following her 8th grade year, and the BSC wants to go to summer camp! And why not have a reunion with Stacey while they're at it! Except the convos (written letters and finally phone calls) appear to have gone like this:
BSC: Let's go to camp!
Stacey: No.
BSC: It'll be fun.
Stacey: No.
BSC: We'll be counselors-in-training!
Stacey: No.
BSC: Pleeeeeeeeeeease?
Stacey: NO MEANS NO.
BSC: But we're all going!
Stacey: Sigh.
...
Stacey: Can I go to camp?
Mr. & Mrs. McG: No.
Stacey: Please?
Mr. & Mrs. McG: No.
Stacey: But the BSC is all going!
Mr. & Mrs. McG: But your diabeetus!
Stacey: It's backed by Wilford Brimley.
Mr. & Mrs. McG: Sigh.
So city girl Stacey, who previously couldn't pry her Bloomie's card out of her cold, dead hands, finds herself boarding a bus to Upstate NY to head to Camp Mohawk. BTW, the very first page of the book is a letter from Kristy and signed by the other sitters (including Logan) imploring her to go. Stace decides to suck it up--it's two weeks, and CITs have the privileges of a counselor with the fun of being a camper. In return for bowing to peer pressure, she says she'll make her friends write their experiences up in a notebook--really? We can't get away from the damn notebook for two weeks?--so she'll have a keepsake. That's the premise of the book, that each sitter takes turns writing up their versions of events.
Naturally, since it was Stacey's Great Idea (and nobody else yet knows about it), she gets to write Chapter 1. Her trip north starts near the corner of 34th and Park Avenue, where the bus is picking up all the city people. It sounds like they're taking a coach bus, pretty fancy. Stacey's disappointed that nobody sits next to her on the ride up; most of the others seem like they know each other. Stace, it's okay. You'll have two weeks to make new friends or only hang around with the ones you already know. At least she knows what everyone has packed in their suitcases--Camp Mohawk-logoed clothing. Shirts, shorts, sweaters, socks, even night clothes. Really? They can't even bring their own PJs? The camps I attended (a day camp and an overnight music camp) made us wear the camp T-shirt and that was it. And that was really only for field trips (day camp) and the concert (music camp). Socks?!? You can't even wear your own socks? Oy. And every piece of clothing has the little teepee logo on it, which Stacey informs us isn't even correct; the Mohawk Indians, who are part of the Iroquois Nation, would have lived in longhouses. Yes, because I'm sure the Mohawks themselves really had anything to do with the creation of this camp and how authentic everything should be.
Speaking of the camp, the bus eventually arrives and Stacey and the other girls disembark; the boys would be driven around to the other side of Lake Dekanawida. As soon as she's off she hears a familiar voice; the rest of the BSC is already there. She's in the middle of greeting them when she gets attacked by a small, crying child: Charlotte Johanssen. Before Stacey can say anything to Char, though, there's an announcement; it's time to find out bunk assignments.
Chapter 2: Kristy
Postcard: To Charlie and Sam Thomas
Andrew and Emily Brewer
1210 McLelland Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: School bus
I suppose Kristy gets the second chapter in deference to her position. She's all shocked that Stacey's making everyone write in the book. Oh well. Kristy gives us the background on how they all found themselves at Camp Mohawk. See, it's Dawn's fault. She may live in a 200-year-old house, but it has all the modern amenities like cable *and* a VCR, and Dawn likes to tape movies off cable like The Parent Trap (of course) and Meatballs (wait, what?*), and since they have camp scenes or take place almost entirely at camp, well, that gets them thinking.
*So for whatever reason, I've apparently confused Meatballs with Porky's or something and have, for many, many years, been thinking it was an R-rated movie. I was therefore VERY confused as to why the BSC was even allowed to watch this movie, much less refer to it several times. Thank goodness for IMDb.com. Also, Ann would probably take away my camp-going card if she knew I'd never seen it. What, sorry, my Bill Murray tastes run more toward Ghostbusters. Ahem.
Of course, once the BSC decided to go, half of Stoneybrook had to join them (because apparently if the sitters aren't in town, the kids can't be, either?). There ends up being 23 Stoneybrookians who board the bus to Camp Mohawk--and they get a crappy old school bus, not a coach like fancy-pants Stacey. Of the kids who go, Charlotte is the most apprehensive; of the kids who don't, Andrew is confused as to why his siblings can't just spend lots of time at the park instead. Once on the bus, Jackie Rodowsky promptly loses his hat out the window, and Margo Pike vomits. David Michael starts singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," but changes it to a million bottles; the other kids play along. They're still in the 999,000s when they arrive, and Stacey's bus arrives while their bus is unloading. Kristy and the rest of the BSC greet her, followed closely by Charlotte, who'd been okay on the bus but was now fully in tears. Uh-oh. Except there's no time to deal with her--it's time to gather for bunk assignments.
Chapter 3: Claudia
Postcard: To Mrs. L. Yamamoto
58 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Doodles around the address
We finally get to the bunk assignment portion, and Char stops crying long enough to ask what's going on. Dawn explains it's when the counselors, CITs, and campers find out where they're staying. Mallory butts in with "And Junior CITs," which Claudia doesn't even bother to explain, probably because she's just as annoyed about the situation as I am. Each cabin has a counselor, two CITS, and six campers, with two adjoining cabins per age group, meaning there's a lot of names thrown at us in the next however-many chapters. Here's where I'm confused: The cabins are for ages 6-11. CITs start at age 13. What about the 12-year-olds? What do they do if they want to go to camp? Are they just SOL for a year? What if they've attended every single year before then? Way to ruin their continuity. Plus, why do the cabins need *two* CITs? There's only six campers. If a counselor can't handle that on her own, then sheesh. Okay, I'd give her one CIT, but two? Is that really necessary for the older ages? Also, where's the job security? Are they that sure that half the CITs won't want to come back as counselors? I mean, CITs are supposed to be training to be full-on counselors, right? I'd imagine most of them have been to the camp before--very few of the counselors at the music camp had never been to the camp--so it's not like it's a total surprise as to what the job entails.
I have a lot of feelings on this subject.
*deep, cleansing breaths*
Also, before getting to the whole rooming situation, Claudia has to greet Stacey and comment on her hair; Stacey has gotten a body wave, because her old perm grew out funny and left her hair kind of orange-ish. Okay, any true blondes here? I've had perms but I have dark blonde hair, and let me tell you, when they grew out, my hair did not change colors. That's...weird. So I don't know if that's a blonde thing or if that's an Ann-pulled-it-out-of-her-butt thing. Plus, how exactly would a body wave change her color back? Sigh. Meanwhile, Stace asks about Mimi, who's still alive at this point, and she's acting pretty strangely, saying odd things, which is a concern.
Mrs. Means, the camp director, starts handing out assignments; Claud and Stace are amused that the old-timers call her "Old Meanie." Claud ends up with the 9-year-olds, including Vanessa Pike and Haley Braddock. It takes them a while to even get to the cabin due to luggage issues, but they make it to "Home disgusting home," as counselor Meghan puts it. Claudia describes it as looking like the cabins out of the movies they'd watched--it's all wood. Well, stucco doesn't really have that woodsy feeling, does it? Claud takes a liking to her fellow CIT, Sally, and Sally seems to like Claudia despite Claudia's constant stepping on her as she gets down off her bunk. Sally tells Claud about the canteen--hello, junk food!--and that the CITs get to do fun things like attend a dance. With boys.
Claudia thinks she'll enjoy camp. Oh, that she will...
Chapter 4: Jessi
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Alex Ramsey
612 Fawcett Avenue
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Five Camp Mohawk teepees
So, before I even get to the chapter, this postcard is the entire reason I've included them all with the chapters. Hell, if I snarked just one part of this book, this would be it. Because this letter, as you've probably guessed from the address? Is to Jessi's Mama and Daddy.
YOUR SON IS NAMED JOHN PHILIP RAMSEY, JUNIOR. HE IS YOUR NAMESAKE. HOW ON EARTH DO YOU GET "ALEX" FROM JOHN PHILIP?
Way to go, Ann. Way to go.
So, you know, Jessi is black. And, you know, the people who don't know her are totally racist. Like, I kind of wish the poor girl could go somewhere and this wouldn't come up every. single. time. And then of course Ann has to add in the ridiculous story line of the Junior CIT situation, because Jessi doesn't already have it bad enough. Your average 11-year-old, again, is a standard camper. Because, hello, they're 11. Except of course this particular 11-year-old and her put-upon best friend are practically super-heroes back home in Stoneybrook, and since the rest of the BSC hold positions of importance at the camp, well, why can't they? So they totally wrote a whiny letter to Old Meanie pleading their case, and Old Meanie sighed and was like, whatever; you can help out with the younger campers. Which means the 8-year-olds. Um. Wouldn't they be a better fit with the youngest campers? Like, Karen is at this camp. She's a handful all on her own, and there are five other girls just like her contained within a cabin; why wouldn't you give those counselors and CITs an extra hand (or at least some time off to get away from her)?
So, anyway, Jessi and Mal have already forced the camp to create special positions for them. Jessi sticks out like a sore thumb because she's the darkest thing there aside from the trees at night. And then every other camper in her cabin has a Ma- name--Mallory, two Marys, a Maureen, and a Mandi. When they get to their cabin, Mal and Jessi immediately scramble to pick out their bunk; the others could not care less, because they're just that cool. They snicker as Mal and Jessi unpack, as well, and the situation doesn't get any better when Mal pulls out Junior CIT armbands she's made for them to wear. Mal. They might as well say "Super Dork" on them, because that's what they'll mean to every other person there. Poor Jessi. She already knows that the other girls don't like her, yet she puts her armband on out of loyalty to Mal. Soon after, Old Meanie arrives; one of the M girls snickers that they're in trouble, and a second chimes in that it's because they're wearing something that's not part of the uniform. Mal thinks she's being serious. Oy. No; OM is there to give them their Junior CIT assignment, which is to work with the 8-year-olds on their part of the Parents' Day program (which, for them, is their end-of-camp performance). Naturally, it'll be a dance routine. Conveniently, they'll be working with Char and Becca. Really? You're putting her in charge of her sister? That's pretty much stacking the deck, isn't it? Old Meanie sure has confidence in your abilities there. Since this occurred in the cabin, the M girls all heard and one calls them the Bobbsey Twins. Mandi goes, "They don't look like any sort of twins, if you know what I mean." Oh, Mal. She has to chime in that the Bobbseys were boy-girl twins, but this of course leads the Ms to go, wait, you still read those? Oh, yeah. Things are off to a smashing start in cabin 11-B.
Chapter 5: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mr. Richard Spier
59 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A cat, presumably Tigger, since the greeting is, "Hi, Dad! Hi, Tigger!"
Mary Anne knows cool. Mary Anne knows her fellow CITs are way cool. We're talking ice cold. Mary Anne, however, is a drippy popsicle. I mean, her co-CIT is named Randi. *And* she wears a bracelet with her name spelled out on it. The CITs next door are Faye and Julie, and Mary Anne melts into a puddle after explaining that their names remind her of "old movie-star names...Faye Dunaway, Julie Harris..." That's...kinda weird, MA. Anyway, Faye and Julie are practically from Antarctica, they're so cool and sophisticated; MA figures they came up on the NYC bus. They've never seen her before, and MA admits she's never been; Faye actually says, "What'd you do? See Meatballs or something and think camp would be the coolest, funnest place in the world?" MA can't actually agree with that sentiment, even though it's totally true, so she goes for what she thinks is her trump card: Her boyfriend is on the other side of the lake. Alas, she doesn't have time to bask in that glorious thought--which, of course, the others don't believe--because two of the 7-year-olds in her midst are fighting over a hairbrush. One is Margo Pike; the other is a girl who keeps going to Faye. Her name is Tara, and Faye is her older sister, and the whole family apparently lives at Camp Mohawk in the summer or something, and there's no way Tara could possibly lie, so the hairbrush *must* be hers and it's impossible that Margo's is identical. Mary Anne solves the issue by walking over to Tara's luggage and pulling out her brush, but this only causes everyone to glower at each other. Also, when Tara tries pulling rank with Faye being a CIT and their older sister Autumn being a counselor, Margo tries to counter with *her* sister being a Junior CIT; obnoxious Tara goes, "I never heard of such a thing!" And of course she's the expert, since she was at camp last year. MA starts thinking of her as Tara the Terror. Bet she's wishing she got the 6-year-olds right about now.
Connie, the counselor, suggests the CITs go out on the porch to get to know each other. Oh, I think they know enough already. Randi, Faye, and Julie all squeeze onto the porch swing, leaving no room for MA, and they promptly start grilling her on Logan. Mary Anne almost cries but manages to hold it in. Through the window, she can hear Tara taunting Margo with lies about what's in the food. MA, sensing a situation, runs inside in case Margo vomits again. Yeah, kinda sucks when dealing with vomit is preferable to hanging out with people your own age.
Chapter 6: Dawn
Postcard: To The Schafers
22 Buena Vista
Palo City, CA
92800
Drawing: A smiling sun (naturally)
Dawn ended up with the 11-year-olds who aren't pretending to be authority figures. She gives us little blurbs on everyone in her cabin--one camper tells dirty jokes, one has bionic vision and can see a tiny spider from across the room. One, Heather, is very quiet and barely talks. She's pretty much the opposite of every other camper in their cabin. To wit, when the group gets free time after unpacking, Heather is perfectly content to stay on her bunk and write while everyone else thunders outside. Dawn offers to stay with her, but Heather assures her she'll be fine. Now this is a girl after Mallory's own heart; too bad they didn't room together. But then we wouldn't have our fun conflict, now would we?
Chapter 7: Stacey
Postcard: To Laine Cummings
The Dakota
72nd and Central Park West
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: A thermometer, a pill bottle, and a couple pills
I'm pretty sure the pills on her postcard are aspirins, which she needed after dealing with her cabin of 6-year-olds. Yes, Stacey ended up with Karen. And a bunch of other little darlings who, as she explained to Laine, don't know the different between inside and outside voices. Also, they get sick. As in while they're unpacking, two girls have to go to the nurse because one has pinkeye and one has a sore throat. I'm not quite sure how a parent completely misses that their kid has pinkeye; not every parent is Watson thinks of camp as a place to dump their kid for the summer. One little girl helps out with the pinkeye diagnosis; her name is Nonie and she talksh like thish becaushe she hash a lishp. And lishp-shpeak getsh really old, really fasht. Nonie has several older siblings who've all attended the camp, so she claims to know all about Camp Mohawk, sickness...and practical jokes, which piques Karen's interest. Looks like Sam has a challenger in the Older Brother Who Plays Jokes On Younger Siblings category. Stacey's nervous as she hears them talk, because all she can think of is that evil Betsy Sobak, whose practical joking led to Claudia's broken leg.
Dinnertime comes along, and Stacey's concerned--not only does camp food have a bad reputation, but she's diabetic, you know. It's like she's half-expecting everything to be coated in Karo. It's not quite that bad, but half the food isn't edible in her case; no candied sweet potatoes or honeyed biscuit for her. This is despite Old Meanie assuring Stacey and her parents that food wouldn't be an issue. Sigh. Stacey gets up and goes back to the kitchen, where the cook promptly yells at her. Mrs. Means joins them back there, they have a talk, and Stacey walks out with meat, carrots (the two things she could eat), an apple, and a muffin (to replace what she couldn't), all on a clean plate, since if Stacey eats an M&M honey, she'll die. This upsets the little kids at the table, who don't understand that Stacey gets special food; they want an Oompa-Loompa apple, too. Sorry, kids; they're actually supposed to be for another meal, and apparently there aren't any extras.
She gets through dinner okay, and the whole camp ends up gathering around the camp flagpole for something called a group sing. I am so thankful that the camps I went to did not include such a thing, as that sounds incredibly dorky, and I'm unabashedly a music dork. Before getting to the singing portion, though, Old Meanie goes through the camp rules and warnings, particularly regarding certain plants (don't eat the mushrooms, look out for poison oak), and Stacey pays particular attention to her discussion on Lyme disease, which, if I recall correctly, was coming into prominence around that time. Stacey's kind of freaked out. She's also getting bitten by mosquitoes. She scootches away from the crowd and finds a patch of leaves and settles in, thinking the mosquitoes won't bother her as much in there. Except she somehow doesn't notice that the leaves are grouped in threes...
Chapter 8: Mallory
Postcard: To Claire Pike
134 Slate Street
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Girls sleeping in bunk beds
Mal's postcard to her baby sister is kind of cute. First, Claire gets the rare experience of being an only child for two weeks, since she's too young for camp (though I'm sure if she'd written a letter to Mrs. Means explaining that she had lots and lots of experience living in a house with nine other people, an exception could've been made for her). Mal explains that she's sleeping in bunk beds "just like the ones in the boys' room at home." And, at the group sing, they learned a song about a guy who couldn't wash his neck due to the lack of rain. Now, here's my problem with this--how had Mallory gotten to the age of 11 without hearing "Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more. How in the heck can I wash my neck if it ain't gonna rain no more?" Stacey hadn't heard it, either. Isn't that one of the standard little-kid songs? The farther I get in this book, the more annoyed I get.
Mal's entry is the first to take us to the next day at camp, yay. Except, of course, it's Mallory, meaning something unspeakably dorky will probably occur, because Ann hates her and can't let her be a normal kid at any point in time. Mal wakes up early, at 6:45; wake-up time isn't until 7. She peeks at Jessi, who's in the bottom bunk; Jessi is reading a horse book. They dare to say good morning to each other; one of the Ms hisses at them that it's not time to be up yet. Mal then pulled out her own horse book to read until wake-up time. No, Mal, there's no camp-sized alarm clock; they way they wake up is that Mrs. Means gets on the PA system, tells them what day it is, then announces what they're having for breakfast. What, and ruin the surprise? Since they've been awake for a while, Jessi and Mal close their books with a snap and pull on fresh teepee clothes. The Ms are not impressed. Mal says, but there's only a half-hour to breakfast! We don't want to be late for our burnt waffles and soggy bacon! Jessi links arms with her--really? And you don't realize that will invite more ridicule?--and they head off to the bathrooms to brush their teeth. Maureen calls out "Oreos" after them, which causes counselor Autumn (yes, Tara and Faye's sister) to snap that she never wanted to hear that term again. Jessi has to explain the derogatory term; Mallory thinks Maureen is stupid, because Mal's white on the outside *and* on the inside, so the insult didn't work on her.
The day isn't all bad. It's their first chance to work with cabin 8-B on their dance routine! Mal is concerned, knowing that Becca and Charlotte have stage fright and Becca can't dance. But there's four other girls, and they have two weeks, and Jessi is an expert on working with children (or so she told Old Meanie), so they head to the rec hall to start their work. It's daunting; the kids can't follow Jessi just with warm-ups. Also, Charlotte was freaked out by the thought of performing in front of an audience. Jessi tells them not to worry; it'll be fun. But they have no idea what they'll be doing.
(So, I'm going back and re-reading what I've written, and I've realized this is Mallory's only chapter. Mallory, the writer of the group. Yes, that's entirely realistic. High five, Ann.)
Chapter 9: Kristy
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Watson Brewer
1210 McLelland Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Life preserver and paddle board on water
In her postcard, Kristy asks her parents how they've raised so many children. Well, in Watson's case, he passes them off to others to raise, so that's how he still has lots of energy. Anyway, it's not that her crop of 8-year-olds is so exhausting; it's just that one of them, Charlotte, is so homesick. Kristy's not sure she'll make it the full two weeks, though she knows Becca will be very disappointed if Char goes home early.
Meanwhile, Kristy feels like a baby compared to her fellow CITs. For example, the other three (Tansy, Lauren, and Izzie) wear white lace-up sneakers; Kristy has "blue Ponies with Velcro straps." One, who remembers when Velcro first came out on shoes and it was the coolest thing since sliced bread? Well, apparently that was several years before Kristy went to Camp Mohawk. Second, Ponies? The only Ponies I hear about these days are on MLP:FiM. (Bring on the pony icons!) But seriously, did she not know that the uniforms were green and white? The girl is not colorblind. I know she's the least fashionable sitter aside from Claudia (because who are we kidding with those outfits), but blue? Does not go with green. Also, the other girls sigh about being away from their boyfriends; Kristy misses Bart. Who is not her boyfriend. The others get these glints in their eyes: Hello, human arts and crafts project! Making over Kristy is *so* much better than making another friendship bracelet. One of the girls leans in and Kristy notices--gasp--a bra strap, then suddenly realizes they're probably *all* wearing bras.
But Kristy doesn't have time to contemplate bras and shoes all day; she has a homesick camper to deal with. Char gets embarrassed by the littlest things; simply dropping her fork during dinner causes tears. It doesn't help that a honeyed biscuit, which went flying during Stacey's chapter (which she never saw land), ends up on her head. It's the first full night and already Char's in Mrs. Meanie's office calling home. Aaaaand...no. This is not something we allowed the kids to do at my camp. We'd pull them aside, talk to them, maybe give them a special treat, but home is a four-letter word. Dr. and Mr. J assure Char that she could come home if she really wanted to, but she decides to tough it out. That night, she sleeps with Kristy. "I mean, literally. In my sleeping bag." (Must. Resist. Penthouse letter joke.)
The next day, Kristy and her counselor discover Charlotte is afraid of everything at camp--no swimming, no horseback riding. She does okay with the dance rehearsal, but then what? She decides to try archery, and Kristy accompanies her with that, except the first time she shoots her arrow it almost appears that she nails a little kid with the arrow; the kid just tripped at the exact moment the arrow flew. Still? Charlotte cries. Goodness. Are we sure she's not related to Mary Anne?
Also, Kristy's counselor is Jo, "the only person at Camp Mohawk who actually has a mohawk." How jealous is Claud that she didn't think of it first?
Chapter 10: Claudia (or, vacation boyfriend alert!)
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. John Kishi
58 Bradford CT
Stoneybrook, Conn 06800
Drawing: A horse
Pro tip: If you're an artist, your horse should look better than your friends' drawings of water safety gear and people in bunk beds. Just sayin'.
So, breakfast was gross. Claudia and a few others immediately head to the canteen for junk food to fill their tummies; Claudia orders so much that the counselors (including Mohawk Jo) just stare. Seriously, Claud, it's Tuesday. The canteen will be there the whole time. You can go back.
Her cabin goes horseback riding and when they return everyone's a dirty, smelly mess. Everyone starts changing as soon as they get back; at that moment, three boy CITs knock on the door. Boys! At my cabin door? Naturally, the girls start screaming ("I'm changing!" "I'm naked!") but Claudia calmly introduces herself. One of them says he's John and...blah blah blah. Claudia neither hears nor cares because her Cute Japanese Boy Alarm is going off due to another of the boy CITs. They stare at each other until John finishes his spiel and they leave. The campers start teasing love-struck Claudia until they realize, wait, this isn't a joke; it's TRUE LUV. They vow to help Claud find out who he is. Also, the good news is that she'll get to see him again! The whole reason they came over was because they were inviting Claud and the other girl CITs to a movie night *and* a dance the following week. Oh, man. Claud *has* to find out who he is. Thank goodness she has long-time campers who have their ways of getting in touch with the forbidden boys' side.
Chapter 11: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mr. Richard Spier
59 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: None, because MA dashed this off right quickly
Each day, the CITs and campers have to write postcards and letters to people while their counselors get free time. On Thursday of the first week, MA's postcard to her father is so short and uninformative it looks like one of my 5th grade diary entries ("Dear Dad, Hi! How are you? I'm fine. Camp's fine. Gotta go. Bye. Love, Mary Anne P.S. Pat Tigger for me."). Instead, she focuses on writing a mushy-gushy love letter to Logan, her not-fake boyfriend who is definitely on the other side of the lake. (Meanwhile, this poor lake keeps getting its name mispronounced. What's so hard about Lake Dekanawida?) So, this letter isn't actually for Logan; it's for MA's snotty co-CITs to find...which they do. And they promptly chastise MA for leaving it where anyone, like the campers, could find it. Naturally, it backfires, because the other CITs wonder how she's going to get it to Logan in time for him to find her a yellow flower for the CIT dance, something mentioned in the letter. Tara the Terror suggests she go at night, and ultimately an elaborate plan is hatched. Randi draws up a map of the camp and gets a cantaloupe from the kitchen so MA can hide it under her pillow because Old Meanie does nightly bed checks. Why MA doesn't wait until *after* bed checks--they're only at 9:30--is beyond me. Hello. Just pretend you have to pee. Oh, she says, "I did not want to be wandering around woods infested with murderers at midnight." Uh, one, 10 o'clock isn't midnight; two, do you think the boys' camp is *that* far away? And, three, the two escaped murderers from the asylum in Peacham? You know they were made up by the other CITs to freak you out. Still, she goes, and it's dark; after a while, she hears voices. Oh, crap, there really are murderers out here! No--it's Mrs. Means, Connie her counselor, and a couple guys from the boys' side. Turns out Tara finked on her during bed checks, but when MA returns, and everyone finds out she was roughly halfway across, they're in awe. Hardly anyone had ever done that (though Connie was one of them), and no one had gotten nearly as far as she did. Well. The only bad part? The guys from the boys' side took her letter to give to Logan. Oh, dear.
Chapter 12: Logan
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Lyman Bruno
689 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: None. Like boys draw. Sheesh.
And so we have the fallout from Logan's side. First, we have to hear about the people in his cabin, who include Jackie Rodowsky, Buddy Barrett, and Matt Braddock, who are all bunking together because they're able to communicate with Matt. Naturally, with Jackie around, bunks are collapsing, the cabin has a mosquito infestation, and apparently Jackie stepped on his toothpaste tube and there's stuff all over the floor. The other boys are a handful, too. They're at lunch on Friday when a counselor comes over to Logan and hands him MA's letter, which the CITs read over Logan's shoulder. They've heard about "the feeb" who tried to sneak over the previous night and put two and two together, much to Logan's chagrin. Actually, CIT Cliff's dramatic reading of the letter was really to Logan's chagrin. Despite its ooey-gooey contents, Logan is touched; he thinks it's for real, even though most of MA's previous notes to him have been more like that postcard to her father. He can't think on it for too long, though, because a table full of seven-year-olds is now laughing at him. So, Logan does what comes natural to him, and fires off a spoonful of peas and creamed corn at Cliff. It's not long before the whole mess hall lives up to its name. For his transgression, Logan is barred from doing arts and crafts for three days. Yes, that's really going to teach him. (MA's punishment had been no swimming for three days. I think they mixed up the punishments.)
Chapter 13: Dawn
Postcard: To Mrs. Sharon Schafer
177 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A ghost with shaky lines around it
Dawn, she of tons of camping experience, probably got put with the 11-year-olds because...wait for it...they are the only campers who actually get to go camping. By now it's Sunday of the second week, and they're packing to leave the next day. She's excited, too, despite knowing "the food won't be too healthy." Well, sorry, but I haven't yet found a Whole Foods in the middle of a forest.
She's concerned about Heather, the oddball of her campers. She's still quiet and rebuffs any attempts at friendship by the other girls. She'll go to the arts and crafts cabin but won't do athletic things like swimming, even though it's mandatory; she cut one lesson and Dawn found her reading in her bunk. By now, the other girls have started ignoring her. Frankly, she seems okay with that; less interruptions that way when you're reading or writing. I tell you, this girl should have been with Mallory.
Dawn's discussion of Heather is interrupted because of sad news her counselor receives; Charlene's mother is sick and she has to go home immediately. Oh, dear. The cabin is hushed; everyone's concerned. Mrs. Means, who had come to break the news, tells the cabin that she'll have a replacement counselor there by the next day, but in the meantime Dawn is put in charge. They're so stunned that nobody questions it. Once Charlene leaves, Dawn decides to order everyone around--into having a good time, like the cabin had been planning. She makes them eat junk food and tell ghost stories and stay up late, and that gets the girls in better spirits...except for Heather, who is back to reading in her bunk.
Chapter 14: Stacey
Postcard: To Henry and Grace Walker
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 18E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: A wind-up teddy bear
And then there's Stacey. As if her diabetes isn't enough, she basically has the plague. She's achy and tired, has a rash, thinks she has Lyme disease and possibly chicken pox and allergies. Also, her stomach hurts due to dyspepsia. She's a mess. When the nurse almost faints upon seeing her walk into the infirmary, she's convinced she has leprosy, too. (BTW, that was one of the highlights of my camp years, walking into the nurse's office with nearly 150 bug bites on my legs. When you almost make the nurse faint, you know you're special. Also, you learn to hose yourself down with bug spray.) What it all really is, though, is this:
--A massive case of poison ivy; the nurse asks, "What did you do? Roll around in the leaves?" Actually, yes.
--An equally massive mosquito bite, which was made worse by the poison ivy
--Pinkeye from her cute little camper
--A cold
--Impetigo ("the disgusting thing by my mouth")
--Other bug bites
At least her stomach calmed down when she found out she didn't actually have Lyme disease.
The nurse makes her stay in the infirmary for a few days; Karen ends up bringing over some things for her. Stacey's not alone for long; she gets a roommate in the form of Miko, a CIT with a broken leg and a cast up to her thigh. Why Miko wasn't kept in the hospital for a few days, I don't know, but at least Stacey had company. They both get enough visitors that the nurse has to tell them to keep it down, even though it doesn't appear that anyone else is in there. By Monday, Stacey's doing well enough that she can go back to her cabin the next day. Nonie comes to visit, and Stacey's nervous, thinking she'll pull a prank. The visit goes well, but as Nonie leaves, she shoots a rubber band through a window at her.
Chapter 15: Kristy
Postcard: To Bart Taylor
65 Edgerstoune Drive
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: A bat and ball that suggest Kristy is a better artist than Claudia
Kristy discusses the ups and downs of camp, starting with Charlotte, who cries so much at camp I'm seriously starting to wonder if Richard didn't have a fling with Dr. J back a few years ago. At least Charlotte likes arts and crafts, but that's about it. Kristy then lists the things she likes and dislikes about camp; basically, if it has to do with the lake, she loves it, along with other sporty endeavors; if it's crafty, not so much, and that goes for the whole CITs wanting to make her over deal. (She also dislikes living with so many people, yet by my count there's one less person in her cabin than at her house when it's full, so go figure.) She mentions the routine her campers are doing with Jessi and Mal and describes it as "fun, funny, and touching." Becca, though, "doesn't have much of Jessi's talent," which I wouldn't expect unless Jessi had given birth to her, honestly, and even that's not a given.
For the past week, though, in between Charlotte's crying jags and taking the campers to their rehearsals, the other CITs have been making over Kristy in their heads. They finally sit her in a chair and go at her, though not before Kristy seriously imagines rolling around in Stacey's poison ivy patch to try to get out of the dance. My lord, Kristy. It's not that bad. You'll be wearing teepee clothing, so it's not like you have to get all dressed up for it or anything. (There is no mention of teepee skirts, for instance.) Anyway, on Monday of the second week the other CITs (including "Izzy"--was it that hard to keep spelling her name the same way?) sit Kristy down and attack her with makeup, more of an experiment than full-on makeover. When Izzy holds up a mirror, Kristy honestly doesn't recognize herself, though "I have to admit that I did not look revolting." She feels she looks older, though this isn't the Kristy she knows. She suddenly feels the need to get away from everyone...and understands some of what she imagines Charlotte's feeling.
Chapter 16: Claudia
Postcard: To Janine Kishi
58 Bradford
Stoneybrook, Connec 06800
Drawing: Flower doodles
I really, really dislike the Claudia drawings. They're pretty crappy. I don't know why the good drawings are done by people who want nothing to do with the arts (ahem, Kristy). Perhaps Claudia's artistic abilities have been hampered by her finding TRUE LUV at camp. Except, of course, she doesn't know his name. That is, until Tuesday. It's after lunch, and it's letter-writing time, except the campers take a page from the Mary Anne Book of Postcard Writing and are done in a flash. Haley Braddock's the one to announce they've found her cutie pie; Jayme, a longtime camper, tells her his name is Will Yamakawa and he'll be at CIT movie night. The following night, she puts on "my best teepee clothes" along with minor accessories and joins fellow CIT Sally in the Camp Mohawk mini-van. There's no sign of Mary Anne or Dawn, which surprises her--why wouldn't Mary Anne take the chance to see Logan?--but there was some sort of camp crisis so maybe they were attending to that, whatever, CUTE BOY HERE I COME. She spots Will and elbows her way over; he's pleasantly surprised to see her, and also shocked she knows his name. When the movie turns out to be Meatballs, and their talking through it disrupts everyone, they end up going outside to talk in peace. She finds out that he's from New York state and used to live with his grandmother, though she just died after an illness. Once the movie is over, the CITs sit around a campfire and roast marshmallows; Will roasts for both of them, and they sit there holding hands until the girls have to go back.
Chapter 17: Dawn (or, guess who has to eat a hot dog!)
Postcard: To Granny and Pop-Pop Porter
747 Bertrand Drive
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A knapsack
Dawn's new counselor arrived the next day; Debra's only two years older than Dawn, and was a CIT the previous year. Debra thinks things will be fine--she'd done the camping trip the previous year--yet she doesn't get more than two steps away from the cabin when she's reminded that she forgot something...by quiet Heather, who even reminds Dawn to bring extra canteens. The camping trip is the same thing over and over--follow the piles of rocks known as cairns roughly five miles away from camp to the camping site. Things are going well, and they're singing "Monster Mash" of all things, when Heather notices a cairn that collapsed. They don't know which way to go. Debra consults her map and says they have to go left. Heather disagrees, but they go left anyway and soon are completely lost. Heather ends up spotting a clearing and suggests they make camp there, which they do. She even helps get the fire going (which is useful for the hot dogs they made for dinner; Dawn admits to choking one down, because it "was okay as long as I didn't think about what was in it." Dawn, that's what everyone does. Shut up). Somehow the insane murderers from Peacham come up, which really freaks them out, especially since they don't know where they are. They don't sleep well that night. They walk for hours and hours the next day, with Heather helping out at times and surprisingly being a comfort to her fellow campers. Dawn discovers that one of the books she'd read was a camping and survival guide. Aha. Actually, the only person who doesn't ask Heather for help is Debra, which is part of how they ended up back at the same clearing as the night before. Heather asks to see the map, determines where they are, and says it's a long-enough walk that they should just stay in place and go back the next day. Within two hours of starting back, they run into a search party from camp that includes Mary Anne and Stacey. Heather ends up getting a bravery medal from Mrs. Means upon their return.
Chapter 18: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mrs. L. Yamamoto
58 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: An earring
Kristy's not the only CIT with makeover issues. Mary Anne's fellow CITs wanted to pierce her ears. They've given her more respect since the lake incident, but it's like they don't have total faith in her. For instance, they keep asking her for beauty tips. Mary Anne keeps making things up she thinks they want to hear. Yes, that's the way to build trust in others. Anyway, they suddenly think MA needs holes in her head, and she decides to call their bluff. The others are taken aback. MA plays cool, calm, and collected, even though she knows her father will disown her if she comes home pierced. The others gather the necessary materials, and Randi offers up earrings to use as studs; MA keeps playing dumb and selecting inappropriate pairs, but finally picks ones that will work, to her chagrin. Faye ends up having to do the piercing, and...she chickens out. Mary Anne's lobes are safe.
Chapter 19: Logan
Postcard: To Kerry and Hunter Bruno
689 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: None
Way to keep up character traits: Logan asks his brother if he's "a-chooing everywhere" in his postcard home. Really? With such little space on a postcard, you're going to waste time with that? At least he also mentions the CIT dance, to be held that night; he's looking forward to seeing Mary Anne, AKA "the feeb." He goes and surveys the boys' mess hall; it's festooned in red and white a la Valentine's Day. It's as ooey-gooey as MA's letter, which, by the way, he's trying to follow--he finds a yellow flower and borrows after-shave from a counselor. Also, he may be a Kentucky boy, but the East Coast has permeated his wardrobe: "I put on my teepee shorts and teepee polo shirt and tied my teepee sweater casually around my shoulders." Along with the outfit from Cats mentioned in #17, chalk this up to something I doubt an actual 13-year-old boy would wear.
Now, after MA skipped movie night, Logan is paranoid she won't show up for the dance. Oh, but she does, and immediately throws herself on him. When they let go of their embrace, they have an audience--all the boy and girl CITs who wanted to know the other actually existed. Canon alert: Logan references the first dance they attended, when MA's shoe flew off; understandably, MA's nervous about this dance, but things go well--so well that after a few dances CIT Cliff cuts in to dance with MA. This causes Logan to cut in on another couple, and the girl turns out to be a made-over Kristy. Logan doesn't even recognize her and goes, "Anyway, wow!" The boy CITs realize Mary Anne's not a feeb, and the girls are thrilled to finally meet Logan, and the night goes well. At one point Logan cuts in on Claudia, who'd been dancing with Will (who else?), but he quickly gets Will back because Claudia's acting spacey. That's fine, because it means he can get back to MA...and they can sneak away for a kiss. Or two.
Chapter 20: Claudia
Postcard: To Ashly Wyeth
12 Reilly Ln
Stoneybrook CT 06800
Drawing: Broken heart
Claud's postcard to Ashley (Ashly?) deals with the pain of breaking up with someone she's known for a week, and how pain is good for art; she theorizes she'll be plenty inspired once she gets home. But first, the dance. She gets plenty of help from her campers on how to accessorize and do her hair, because Claudia's never been able to do this for herself. Once ready, she joins the other BSC CITs on the van and heads over to the boys' side. I have to pause here and snark the vehicle, because it's described as a mini-van, a regular van, and a bus. Which is it? Those are three separate vehicles, and considering, if they're transporting all the CITs, that's 24 people; a mini-van would fit 7 or 8; a regular van seats what, 15? Even small school buses only fit maybe 16-20. And it sounds like they took just one vehicle. I think whoever built the van also built Kristy's house, since it can morph to fit Ann's needs. But I digress.
As soon as they arrived, Claudia was off the...um, vehicle...and into Will's arms. She mentions that some boys like to check out the food immediately upon arrival, but not Will; the two of them waste no time and get right to dancing. After a few dances people start cutting in, and Logan cuts in on her; she says, after 30 seconds, Logan got Will back and that "I don't remember much about dancing with Logan, but I remember every second of dancing with Will." The luv, it is true, people. They spend their dances talking, and Will says he thinks his grandmother's spirit is with him. They're in the middle of a slow dance when Kristy cuts in, much to Claud's chagrin, because oh, my lord, "Do you cut in on two people in the middle of a slow dance who look like they're having a heavy conversation?" Right, because Kristy is aware of the subtleties of interpersonal communication. The girl lives with Karen at times. Subtle is when someone's not shouting. Eventually they grab some food and dance a little more before heading outside, where Claudia breaks the spell and goes, you know, we'll probably never see each other again. Will wonders, what about next year? Claudia counters with, a lot can happen in a year; they agree to say good-bye, and just then the dance lets out--yep, it's really good-bye. Except their final words to each other are "I wish I could hold you forever" and "I wish time could stop right now." Aw. Somewhere, Mary Anne is crying, but I think it's because her flower pin is sticking her. Claudia board the vehicle, without even exchanging addresses or numbers, though I doubt there's that many Yamakawas in Ashfield, New York. They had operators and 411 back then. Alas, all Claud can think of is having to leave her beloved Will, and Stacey comforts her on the ride back while Claud cries. Once back at her cabin, though, her tears stop flowing; it's hard to cry when you have a bunch of 9-year-olds pestering you. Especially when they ask about kissing.
Chapter 21: Kristy
Postcard: To Shannon Kilbourne
Camp Eerie
Princeton, MI 48800
Drawing: Water skis
It's Kristy's turn to narrate the dance. Her experience includes the full-on makeover by her fellow CITs, done while Kristy protested that she, in fact, was not actually attending. The only person who sided with Kristy? Charlotte. Even Becca Ramsey chimes in with ideas to help Kristy look better, suggesting she borrow a pair of shoes from another CIT (because, hello, you can't impress the boys while wearing Velcro). She may have looked decent, even pretty, but she felt like Margo Pike and the bumpy ride to the boys' side didn't help matters. She tries to stay on the bus but the driver wasn't having it, so off she went. Tansy ends up being her wingwoman, suggesting they hang around the food table for a while to get comfortable. Kristy realizes she's surprisingly hungry, then remembers "I'd been too nervous to eat supper, and anyway, who could have eaten vegetable burgers?" Have you met Dawn?
Tansy eventually gets asked to dance--by a boy--so Kristy's alone for a little bit until a boy asks her to dance! And then Logan cuts in! Two boys in one night, wow! Won't Bart be jealous. Kristy decides to take charge and cuts in on a couple herself, though it ends up being Claudia and Will, and Claud is none too happy. You know those looks Kristy gives people when they're thirty seconds late to a meeting? Claud finally gets to return the favor.
After a while she ends up without a partner and heads back over to the food table; by then people are taking breaks and she catches up with the other BSC members plus a few others. Even so, she's not sorry to see the vehicle come to pick them back up. Back at the cabin, she checks in on Char; Char's glad to have her back.
Chapter 22: Stacey
Postcard: To Mrs. and Mrs. Edward McGill
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 12E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: Self-portrait with spots
Stacey's postcard starts off with her semi-mad at her parents because they called to check up on her while she was still in the infirmary. She repeats, "I'M NOT A BABY!" Perhaps not, but you're acting like one. Be glad your parents care enough to be concerned; some parents go off on their own vacations while their kids are at camp and they're hard to reach. On the flip side, they should be glad the camp was keeping them informed on Stacey's status and that they kept her in the infirmary long enough to make sure she was getting better and wasn't going to potentially infect other kids. That's all they'd need. Also, she mentions that she has to test her urine daily due to her diabetes. Um, any diabetics want to chime in on that? I know about blood tests, but urine? Daily? I have a close friend who's been diabetic for years and she's never mentioned that as part of her routine. The line even goes on to read "the test tells me if there's too much or too little sugar in my blood." ...From your urine you can tell this? So confused.
Stacey's backtracked a couple days and is still in the infirmary, though it's time for her to go "home." Miko and her broken leg have just gotten crutches, and she's working with them while Stacey packs up. Miko loses her balance and Stacey rescues her from falling, incurring a couple new bumps in the process. She's fine enough to still leave, at least, and lispy Nonie and loud Karen are the ones to accompany her back. Upon entering her cabin, Stacey promptly gets a splinter and has to go back to the nurse. Sigh. But, she promises, she stayed healthy after that, even attending movie night and the dance. She wakes up Thursday morning--after not having any jokes played on her by Nonie--to the declaration, "It'sh Chrishtmash!" Wait, what? No. It's like July. But she goes and looks outside and it's "snowed," and then Stacey looks around the cabin and, sure enough, it looks like Santa had come. Cabin 6-A had Christmased them, in the fine Camp Mohawk tradition. Stacey checks her stocking and inside her gifts include sugarless candy...and Calamine lotion and bandages. Nice.
Chapter 23: Jessi
Postcard: To Keisha Ramsey
8320 Wagner Lane
Oakley, NJ 07400
Drawing: Ballet slippers
Hello! Remember Jessi and Mallory? They're still here. They're the ones that aren't dealing with mosquito bites or makeovers. No, no; they have the honest-to-goodness serious topic of racism. Also, teaching 8-year-olds to dance. I do like her postcard because aside from Mary Anne's slap-dash one to her dad, it's the one most likely to have been written by a kid, at least in terms of style; she writes so much to Keisha that she has to scrunch her last few lines really closely to fit them in. Also, I've suddenly realized that her handwriting resembles something you'd get from your 70-year-old great aunt. This definitely is not sixth-grader handwriting.
What could have been the most interesting story line is glossed over in one paragraph: The Ms still suck. (There's no mention of how they got screwed out of going camping, either. Dawn's group getting lost meant the other 11-year-olds couldn't go.) But Mal and Jessi don't care. In fact, through their dramatic dance, they'll find a way to stick it to their fellow campers/non-junior CITs. That's right, let's use a bunch of 8-year-olds as pawns. Fabulous. There's also no mention that Becca was treated shabbily in any way, either, but then again it's not like Stacey forced her to write down all her feelings for posterity.
What Mal and Jessi have done is write a mini-musical "about friendship and trust and being black or white." Yes, because that's totally realistic and feasible to pull off in two weeks' time by two 11-year-olds who've never done such a thing, and who are coaching a bunch of kids who, at best, have little to no talent and, at worse, have severe stage fright. Yes. I can totally see this happening. They couldn't just, like, pick a Madonna song and teach them simple choreography? My day camp had a yearly talent show along the same lines and, trust me, it took us three to four weeks to learn a simple dance routine. Just once do I recall us writing our own material, and it was but one song. Not an entire musical. (Fun fact: I basically looked like Stacey at the time, since the song detailed things that had gone wrong at camp or something and people were pretending to hobble around on crutches. Good times.)
The stars of the show are Becca and Char, and they play twins. Jessi admits that the show isn't subtle and wonders how it'll go over with her cabin mates. By now it's Saturday, time to perform, just about time to go home. Jessi has lunch with her parents prior to show time, and she's thrilled they've brought Squirt with; "I'd been sure they'd leave our baby brother in Connecticut with a sitter. (What sitter? We were all at Camp Mohawk.)" ...I'll just leave that there.
The show started at two, and Jessi mentions the groups that go before her. Finally, it's their turn, and while lines are forgotten and dancers fall, overall it goes well, and Charlotte is even able to perform a crucial trust fall. The performance gets a standing ovation. Back at the cabin, packing up, everyone's silent until counselor Autumn congratulates them, and then most of the other campers apologize or offer up horse books to read. Only one of them, Maureen, stays silent. Can't win 'em all.
It's time to go, and the cars are packing up; Jessi and Kristy watch Char get in her parents' car, and they're both amazed she stayed the full two weeks. Kristy had talked with Char the night before, and basically Char had wanted to prove to herself she could do it. And she did. Other people leaving include Dawn and Mary Anne--together--and Claudia with only her parents, because Mimi wasn't doing well and she stayed home with Janine. Knowing what happens soon after this book makes me really, really sad. But, for now, the only ending comes from Camp Mohawk. Oh, and Stacey.
Epilogue: Stacey
Instead of a postcard, the final chapter includes letters from Kristy, Claud, Charlotte, and Nonie of all people. Stacey and Nonie exchange Christmas cards, which is pretty cute, actually. Claud's letter amuses me because she writes, "Today is the thrid day in a row Ive' worn something with no TP on it." I'm imagining this as toilet paper. I doubt there will be a fourth day. Stacey muses that going to camp has involved her getting a lot of mail--not only is she getting letters from people, she's also getting the diary entries that make up her book. As it turns out, Claud's campers got her Will's address, and they've been writing back and forth. TRUE LUV CONQUERS ALL. On occasion, Kristy wears mascara. It's pretty much only when she anticipates running into Bart, but it's a start. Mary Anne kept in touch with some of the other CITs, though she'll never pierce her ears. Super camper Dawn, upset with the whole camping debacle, is thinking about doing Outward Bound the following summer, if she ever gets to it. She's kept in touch with Heather, whose Camp Mohawk days are over. As for Mal and Jessi, they wrote to Mandi, their fellow camper who'd made the book recommendation--and even heard back. And as Stacey's favorite character might say, that's all, folks.
Well, that wasn't as snarkable as I'd hoped, but it still ended up really long. Sorry.
Okay, I'll come clean: I'm a camp geek. So a book that merges my love for the BSC and my love of camp? JACKPOT! The only thing that could have made this better would be if they went to a music camp, but nobody at this stage has that as their sole trait, so I'm left by myself as a real-life Alyson Hannigan (except I *never* did *that* with my flute. Hello, grody).
Much like the other BSC books I've re-read as an adult, this one has left me disappointed, so at least they're consistent, eh? Also consistent: Ann not knowing what the heck is going on. Like, apparently 12-year-olds don't exist. Also, if you whine hard enough, a camp will create a position for you. And then there's Karen...what, did Watson get her for a whole two weeks? Of course he'd send her to camp! Why would he want to spend time with his child? Ugh.
So, I guess I should apologize before I even begin. I'm long-winded with the regular BSC books; I'll try not to go overboard here, but no promises.
Each chapter starts with a postcard from one of the sitters to whomever; I'll include names and addresses, simply because they're interesting, and because at least one includes a name I didn't think was possible.
Chapter 1: Stacey
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Edward McGill
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 12E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: Intertwined hearts
Yes, Stacey's back in New York at the time this book takes place. It's summer, the first of many following her 8th grade year, and the BSC wants to go to summer camp! And why not have a reunion with Stacey while they're at it! Except the convos (written letters and finally phone calls) appear to have gone like this:
BSC: Let's go to camp!
Stacey: No.
BSC: It'll be fun.
Stacey: No.
BSC: We'll be counselors-in-training!
Stacey: No.
BSC: Pleeeeeeeeeeease?
Stacey: NO MEANS NO.
BSC: But we're all going!
Stacey: Sigh.
...
Stacey: Can I go to camp?
Mr. & Mrs. McG: No.
Stacey: Please?
Mr. & Mrs. McG: No.
Stacey: But the BSC is all going!
Mr. & Mrs. McG: But your diabeetus!
Stacey: It's backed by Wilford Brimley.
Mr. & Mrs. McG: Sigh.
So city girl Stacey, who previously couldn't pry her Bloomie's card out of her cold, dead hands, finds herself boarding a bus to Upstate NY to head to Camp Mohawk. BTW, the very first page of the book is a letter from Kristy and signed by the other sitters (including Logan) imploring her to go. Stace decides to suck it up--it's two weeks, and CITs have the privileges of a counselor with the fun of being a camper. In return for bowing to peer pressure, she says she'll make her friends write their experiences up in a notebook--really? We can't get away from the damn notebook for two weeks?--so she'll have a keepsake. That's the premise of the book, that each sitter takes turns writing up their versions of events.
Naturally, since it was Stacey's Great Idea (and nobody else yet knows about it), she gets to write Chapter 1. Her trip north starts near the corner of 34th and Park Avenue, where the bus is picking up all the city people. It sounds like they're taking a coach bus, pretty fancy. Stacey's disappointed that nobody sits next to her on the ride up; most of the others seem like they know each other. Stace, it's okay. You'll have two weeks to make new friends or only hang around with the ones you already know. At least she knows what everyone has packed in their suitcases--Camp Mohawk-logoed clothing. Shirts, shorts, sweaters, socks, even night clothes. Really? They can't even bring their own PJs? The camps I attended (a day camp and an overnight music camp) made us wear the camp T-shirt and that was it. And that was really only for field trips (day camp) and the concert (music camp). Socks?!? You can't even wear your own socks? Oy. And every piece of clothing has the little teepee logo on it, which Stacey informs us isn't even correct; the Mohawk Indians, who are part of the Iroquois Nation, would have lived in longhouses. Yes, because I'm sure the Mohawks themselves really had anything to do with the creation of this camp and how authentic everything should be.
Speaking of the camp, the bus eventually arrives and Stacey and the other girls disembark; the boys would be driven around to the other side of Lake Dekanawida. As soon as she's off she hears a familiar voice; the rest of the BSC is already there. She's in the middle of greeting them when she gets attacked by a small, crying child: Charlotte Johanssen. Before Stacey can say anything to Char, though, there's an announcement; it's time to find out bunk assignments.
Chapter 2: Kristy
Postcard: To Charlie and Sam Thomas
Andrew and Emily Brewer
1210 McLelland Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: School bus
I suppose Kristy gets the second chapter in deference to her position. She's all shocked that Stacey's making everyone write in the book. Oh well. Kristy gives us the background on how they all found themselves at Camp Mohawk. See, it's Dawn's fault. She may live in a 200-year-old house, but it has all the modern amenities like cable *and* a VCR, and Dawn likes to tape movies off cable like The Parent Trap (of course) and Meatballs (wait, what?*), and since they have camp scenes or take place almost entirely at camp, well, that gets them thinking.
*So for whatever reason, I've apparently confused Meatballs with Porky's or something and have, for many, many years, been thinking it was an R-rated movie. I was therefore VERY confused as to why the BSC was even allowed to watch this movie, much less refer to it several times. Thank goodness for IMDb.com. Also, Ann would probably take away my camp-going card if she knew I'd never seen it. What, sorry, my Bill Murray tastes run more toward Ghostbusters. Ahem.
Of course, once the BSC decided to go, half of Stoneybrook had to join them (because apparently if the sitters aren't in town, the kids can't be, either?). There ends up being 23 Stoneybrookians who board the bus to Camp Mohawk--and they get a crappy old school bus, not a coach like fancy-pants Stacey. Of the kids who go, Charlotte is the most apprehensive; of the kids who don't, Andrew is confused as to why his siblings can't just spend lots of time at the park instead. Once on the bus, Jackie Rodowsky promptly loses his hat out the window, and Margo Pike vomits. David Michael starts singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," but changes it to a million bottles; the other kids play along. They're still in the 999,000s when they arrive, and Stacey's bus arrives while their bus is unloading. Kristy and the rest of the BSC greet her, followed closely by Charlotte, who'd been okay on the bus but was now fully in tears. Uh-oh. Except there's no time to deal with her--it's time to gather for bunk assignments.
Chapter 3: Claudia
Postcard: To Mrs. L. Yamamoto
58 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Doodles around the address
We finally get to the bunk assignment portion, and Char stops crying long enough to ask what's going on. Dawn explains it's when the counselors, CITs, and campers find out where they're staying. Mallory butts in with "And Junior CITs," which Claudia doesn't even bother to explain, probably because she's just as annoyed about the situation as I am. Each cabin has a counselor, two CITS, and six campers, with two adjoining cabins per age group, meaning there's a lot of names thrown at us in the next however-many chapters. Here's where I'm confused: The cabins are for ages 6-11. CITs start at age 13. What about the 12-year-olds? What do they do if they want to go to camp? Are they just SOL for a year? What if they've attended every single year before then? Way to ruin their continuity. Plus, why do the cabins need *two* CITs? There's only six campers. If a counselor can't handle that on her own, then sheesh. Okay, I'd give her one CIT, but two? Is that really necessary for the older ages? Also, where's the job security? Are they that sure that half the CITs won't want to come back as counselors? I mean, CITs are supposed to be training to be full-on counselors, right? I'd imagine most of them have been to the camp before--very few of the counselors at the music camp had never been to the camp--so it's not like it's a total surprise as to what the job entails.
I have a lot of feelings on this subject.
*deep, cleansing breaths*
Also, before getting to the whole rooming situation, Claudia has to greet Stacey and comment on her hair; Stacey has gotten a body wave, because her old perm grew out funny and left her hair kind of orange-ish. Okay, any true blondes here? I've had perms but I have dark blonde hair, and let me tell you, when they grew out, my hair did not change colors. That's...weird. So I don't know if that's a blonde thing or if that's an Ann-pulled-it-out-of-her-butt thing. Plus, how exactly would a body wave change her color back? Sigh. Meanwhile, Stace asks about Mimi, who's still alive at this point, and she's acting pretty strangely, saying odd things, which is a concern.
Mrs. Means, the camp director, starts handing out assignments; Claud and Stace are amused that the old-timers call her "Old Meanie." Claud ends up with the 9-year-olds, including Vanessa Pike and Haley Braddock. It takes them a while to even get to the cabin due to luggage issues, but they make it to "Home disgusting home," as counselor Meghan puts it. Claudia describes it as looking like the cabins out of the movies they'd watched--it's all wood. Well, stucco doesn't really have that woodsy feeling, does it? Claud takes a liking to her fellow CIT, Sally, and Sally seems to like Claudia despite Claudia's constant stepping on her as she gets down off her bunk. Sally tells Claud about the canteen--hello, junk food!--and that the CITs get to do fun things like attend a dance. With boys.
Claudia thinks she'll enjoy camp. Oh, that she will...
Chapter 4: Jessi
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Alex Ramsey
612 Fawcett Avenue
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Five Camp Mohawk teepees
So, before I even get to the chapter, this postcard is the entire reason I've included them all with the chapters. Hell, if I snarked just one part of this book, this would be it. Because this letter, as you've probably guessed from the address? Is to Jessi's Mama and Daddy.
YOUR SON IS NAMED JOHN PHILIP RAMSEY, JUNIOR. HE IS YOUR NAMESAKE. HOW ON EARTH DO YOU GET "ALEX" FROM JOHN PHILIP?
Way to go, Ann. Way to go.
So, you know, Jessi is black. And, you know, the people who don't know her are totally racist. Like, I kind of wish the poor girl could go somewhere and this wouldn't come up every. single. time. And then of course Ann has to add in the ridiculous story line of the Junior CIT situation, because Jessi doesn't already have it bad enough. Your average 11-year-old, again, is a standard camper. Because, hello, they're 11. Except of course this particular 11-year-old and her put-upon best friend are practically super-heroes back home in Stoneybrook, and since the rest of the BSC hold positions of importance at the camp, well, why can't they? So they totally wrote a whiny letter to Old Meanie pleading their case, and Old Meanie sighed and was like, whatever; you can help out with the younger campers. Which means the 8-year-olds. Um. Wouldn't they be a better fit with the youngest campers? Like, Karen is at this camp. She's a handful all on her own, and there are five other girls just like her contained within a cabin; why wouldn't you give those counselors and CITs an extra hand (or at least some time off to get away from her)?
So, anyway, Jessi and Mal have already forced the camp to create special positions for them. Jessi sticks out like a sore thumb because she's the darkest thing there aside from the trees at night. And then every other camper in her cabin has a Ma- name--Mallory, two Marys, a Maureen, and a Mandi. When they get to their cabin, Mal and Jessi immediately scramble to pick out their bunk; the others could not care less, because they're just that cool. They snicker as Mal and Jessi unpack, as well, and the situation doesn't get any better when Mal pulls out Junior CIT armbands she's made for them to wear. Mal. They might as well say "Super Dork" on them, because that's what they'll mean to every other person there. Poor Jessi. She already knows that the other girls don't like her, yet she puts her armband on out of loyalty to Mal. Soon after, Old Meanie arrives; one of the M girls snickers that they're in trouble, and a second chimes in that it's because they're wearing something that's not part of the uniform. Mal thinks she's being serious. Oy. No; OM is there to give them their Junior CIT assignment, which is to work with the 8-year-olds on their part of the Parents' Day program (which, for them, is their end-of-camp performance). Naturally, it'll be a dance routine. Conveniently, they'll be working with Char and Becca. Really? You're putting her in charge of her sister? That's pretty much stacking the deck, isn't it? Old Meanie sure has confidence in your abilities there. Since this occurred in the cabin, the M girls all heard and one calls them the Bobbsey Twins. Mandi goes, "They don't look like any sort of twins, if you know what I mean." Oh, Mal. She has to chime in that the Bobbseys were boy-girl twins, but this of course leads the Ms to go, wait, you still read those? Oh, yeah. Things are off to a smashing start in cabin 11-B.
Chapter 5: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mr. Richard Spier
59 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A cat, presumably Tigger, since the greeting is, "Hi, Dad! Hi, Tigger!"
Mary Anne knows cool. Mary Anne knows her fellow CITs are way cool. We're talking ice cold. Mary Anne, however, is a drippy popsicle. I mean, her co-CIT is named Randi. *And* she wears a bracelet with her name spelled out on it. The CITs next door are Faye and Julie, and Mary Anne melts into a puddle after explaining that their names remind her of "old movie-star names...Faye Dunaway, Julie Harris..." That's...kinda weird, MA. Anyway, Faye and Julie are practically from Antarctica, they're so cool and sophisticated; MA figures they came up on the NYC bus. They've never seen her before, and MA admits she's never been; Faye actually says, "What'd you do? See Meatballs or something and think camp would be the coolest, funnest place in the world?" MA can't actually agree with that sentiment, even though it's totally true, so she goes for what she thinks is her trump card: Her boyfriend is on the other side of the lake. Alas, she doesn't have time to bask in that glorious thought--which, of course, the others don't believe--because two of the 7-year-olds in her midst are fighting over a hairbrush. One is Margo Pike; the other is a girl who keeps going to Faye. Her name is Tara, and Faye is her older sister, and the whole family apparently lives at Camp Mohawk in the summer or something, and there's no way Tara could possibly lie, so the hairbrush *must* be hers and it's impossible that Margo's is identical. Mary Anne solves the issue by walking over to Tara's luggage and pulling out her brush, but this only causes everyone to glower at each other. Also, when Tara tries pulling rank with Faye being a CIT and their older sister Autumn being a counselor, Margo tries to counter with *her* sister being a Junior CIT; obnoxious Tara goes, "I never heard of such a thing!" And of course she's the expert, since she was at camp last year. MA starts thinking of her as Tara the Terror. Bet she's wishing she got the 6-year-olds right about now.
Connie, the counselor, suggests the CITs go out on the porch to get to know each other. Oh, I think they know enough already. Randi, Faye, and Julie all squeeze onto the porch swing, leaving no room for MA, and they promptly start grilling her on Logan. Mary Anne almost cries but manages to hold it in. Through the window, she can hear Tara taunting Margo with lies about what's in the food. MA, sensing a situation, runs inside in case Margo vomits again. Yeah, kinda sucks when dealing with vomit is preferable to hanging out with people your own age.
Chapter 6: Dawn
Postcard: To The Schafers
22 Buena Vista
Palo City, CA
92800
Drawing: A smiling sun (naturally)
Dawn ended up with the 11-year-olds who aren't pretending to be authority figures. She gives us little blurbs on everyone in her cabin--one camper tells dirty jokes, one has bionic vision and can see a tiny spider from across the room. One, Heather, is very quiet and barely talks. She's pretty much the opposite of every other camper in their cabin. To wit, when the group gets free time after unpacking, Heather is perfectly content to stay on her bunk and write while everyone else thunders outside. Dawn offers to stay with her, but Heather assures her she'll be fine. Now this is a girl after Mallory's own heart; too bad they didn't room together. But then we wouldn't have our fun conflict, now would we?
Chapter 7: Stacey
Postcard: To Laine Cummings
The Dakota
72nd and Central Park West
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: A thermometer, a pill bottle, and a couple pills
I'm pretty sure the pills on her postcard are aspirins, which she needed after dealing with her cabin of 6-year-olds. Yes, Stacey ended up with Karen. And a bunch of other little darlings who, as she explained to Laine, don't know the different between inside and outside voices. Also, they get sick. As in while they're unpacking, two girls have to go to the nurse because one has pinkeye and one has a sore throat. I'm not quite sure how a parent completely misses that their kid has pinkeye; not every parent is Watson thinks of camp as a place to dump their kid for the summer. One little girl helps out with the pinkeye diagnosis; her name is Nonie and she talksh like thish becaushe she hash a lishp. And lishp-shpeak getsh really old, really fasht. Nonie has several older siblings who've all attended the camp, so she claims to know all about Camp Mohawk, sickness...and practical jokes, which piques Karen's interest. Looks like Sam has a challenger in the Older Brother Who Plays Jokes On Younger Siblings category. Stacey's nervous as she hears them talk, because all she can think of is that evil Betsy Sobak, whose practical joking led to Claudia's broken leg.
Dinnertime comes along, and Stacey's concerned--not only does camp food have a bad reputation, but she's diabetic, you know. It's like she's half-expecting everything to be coated in Karo. It's not quite that bad, but half the food isn't edible in her case; no candied sweet potatoes or honeyed biscuit for her. This is despite Old Meanie assuring Stacey and her parents that food wouldn't be an issue. Sigh. Stacey gets up and goes back to the kitchen, where the cook promptly yells at her. Mrs. Means joins them back there, they have a talk, and Stacey walks out with meat, carrots (the two things she could eat), an apple, and a muffin (to replace what she couldn't), all on a clean plate, since if Stacey eats an M&M honey, she'll die. This upsets the little kids at the table, who don't understand that Stacey gets special food; they want an Oompa-Loompa apple, too. Sorry, kids; they're actually supposed to be for another meal, and apparently there aren't any extras.
She gets through dinner okay, and the whole camp ends up gathering around the camp flagpole for something called a group sing. I am so thankful that the camps I went to did not include such a thing, as that sounds incredibly dorky, and I'm unabashedly a music dork. Before getting to the singing portion, though, Old Meanie goes through the camp rules and warnings, particularly regarding certain plants (don't eat the mushrooms, look out for poison oak), and Stacey pays particular attention to her discussion on Lyme disease, which, if I recall correctly, was coming into prominence around that time. Stacey's kind of freaked out. She's also getting bitten by mosquitoes. She scootches away from the crowd and finds a patch of leaves and settles in, thinking the mosquitoes won't bother her as much in there. Except she somehow doesn't notice that the leaves are grouped in threes...
Chapter 8: Mallory
Postcard: To Claire Pike
134 Slate Street
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Girls sleeping in bunk beds
Mal's postcard to her baby sister is kind of cute. First, Claire gets the rare experience of being an only child for two weeks, since she's too young for camp (though I'm sure if she'd written a letter to Mrs. Means explaining that she had lots and lots of experience living in a house with nine other people, an exception could've been made for her). Mal explains that she's sleeping in bunk beds "just like the ones in the boys' room at home." And, at the group sing, they learned a song about a guy who couldn't wash his neck due to the lack of rain. Now, here's my problem with this--how had Mallory gotten to the age of 11 without hearing "Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more. How in the heck can I wash my neck if it ain't gonna rain no more?" Stacey hadn't heard it, either. Isn't that one of the standard little-kid songs? The farther I get in this book, the more annoyed I get.
Mal's entry is the first to take us to the next day at camp, yay. Except, of course, it's Mallory, meaning something unspeakably dorky will probably occur, because Ann hates her and can't let her be a normal kid at any point in time. Mal wakes up early, at 6:45; wake-up time isn't until 7. She peeks at Jessi, who's in the bottom bunk; Jessi is reading a horse book. They dare to say good morning to each other; one of the Ms hisses at them that it's not time to be up yet. Mal then pulled out her own horse book to read until wake-up time. No, Mal, there's no camp-sized alarm clock; they way they wake up is that Mrs. Means gets on the PA system, tells them what day it is, then announces what they're having for breakfast. What, and ruin the surprise? Since they've been awake for a while, Jessi and Mal close their books with a snap and pull on fresh teepee clothes. The Ms are not impressed. Mal says, but there's only a half-hour to breakfast! We don't want to be late for our burnt waffles and soggy bacon! Jessi links arms with her--really? And you don't realize that will invite more ridicule?--and they head off to the bathrooms to brush their teeth. Maureen calls out "Oreos" after them, which causes counselor Autumn (yes, Tara and Faye's sister) to snap that she never wanted to hear that term again. Jessi has to explain the derogatory term; Mallory thinks Maureen is stupid, because Mal's white on the outside *and* on the inside, so the insult didn't work on her.
The day isn't all bad. It's their first chance to work with cabin 8-B on their dance routine! Mal is concerned, knowing that Becca and Charlotte have stage fright and Becca can't dance. But there's four other girls, and they have two weeks, and Jessi is an expert on working with children (or so she told Old Meanie), so they head to the rec hall to start their work. It's daunting; the kids can't follow Jessi just with warm-ups. Also, Charlotte was freaked out by the thought of performing in front of an audience. Jessi tells them not to worry; it'll be fun. But they have no idea what they'll be doing.
(So, I'm going back and re-reading what I've written, and I've realized this is Mallory's only chapter. Mallory, the writer of the group. Yes, that's entirely realistic. High five, Ann.)
Chapter 9: Kristy
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Watson Brewer
1210 McLelland Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: Life preserver and paddle board on water
In her postcard, Kristy asks her parents how they've raised so many children. Well, in Watson's case, he passes them off to others to raise, so that's how he still has lots of energy. Anyway, it's not that her crop of 8-year-olds is so exhausting; it's just that one of them, Charlotte, is so homesick. Kristy's not sure she'll make it the full two weeks, though she knows Becca will be very disappointed if Char goes home early.
Meanwhile, Kristy feels like a baby compared to her fellow CITs. For example, the other three (Tansy, Lauren, and Izzie) wear white lace-up sneakers; Kristy has "blue Ponies with Velcro straps." One, who remembers when Velcro first came out on shoes and it was the coolest thing since sliced bread? Well, apparently that was several years before Kristy went to Camp Mohawk. Second, Ponies? The only Ponies I hear about these days are on MLP:FiM. (Bring on the pony icons!) But seriously, did she not know that the uniforms were green and white? The girl is not colorblind. I know she's the least fashionable sitter aside from Claudia (because who are we kidding with those outfits), but blue? Does not go with green. Also, the other girls sigh about being away from their boyfriends; Kristy misses Bart. Who is not her boyfriend. The others get these glints in their eyes: Hello, human arts and crafts project! Making over Kristy is *so* much better than making another friendship bracelet. One of the girls leans in and Kristy notices--gasp--a bra strap, then suddenly realizes they're probably *all* wearing bras.
But Kristy doesn't have time to contemplate bras and shoes all day; she has a homesick camper to deal with. Char gets embarrassed by the littlest things; simply dropping her fork during dinner causes tears. It doesn't help that a honeyed biscuit, which went flying during Stacey's chapter (which she never saw land), ends up on her head. It's the first full night and already Char's in Mrs. Meanie's office calling home. Aaaaand...no. This is not something we allowed the kids to do at my camp. We'd pull them aside, talk to them, maybe give them a special treat, but home is a four-letter word. Dr. and Mr. J assure Char that she could come home if she really wanted to, but she decides to tough it out. That night, she sleeps with Kristy. "I mean, literally. In my sleeping bag." (Must. Resist. Penthouse letter joke.)
The next day, Kristy and her counselor discover Charlotte is afraid of everything at camp--no swimming, no horseback riding. She does okay with the dance rehearsal, but then what? She decides to try archery, and Kristy accompanies her with that, except the first time she shoots her arrow it almost appears that she nails a little kid with the arrow; the kid just tripped at the exact moment the arrow flew. Still? Charlotte cries. Goodness. Are we sure she's not related to Mary Anne?
Also, Kristy's counselor is Jo, "the only person at Camp Mohawk who actually has a mohawk." How jealous is Claud that she didn't think of it first?
Chapter 10: Claudia (or, vacation boyfriend alert!)
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. John Kishi
58 Bradford CT
Stoneybrook, Conn 06800
Drawing: A horse
Pro tip: If you're an artist, your horse should look better than your friends' drawings of water safety gear and people in bunk beds. Just sayin'.
So, breakfast was gross. Claudia and a few others immediately head to the canteen for junk food to fill their tummies; Claudia orders so much that the counselors (including Mohawk Jo) just stare. Seriously, Claud, it's Tuesday. The canteen will be there the whole time. You can go back.
Her cabin goes horseback riding and when they return everyone's a dirty, smelly mess. Everyone starts changing as soon as they get back; at that moment, three boy CITs knock on the door. Boys! At my cabin door? Naturally, the girls start screaming ("I'm changing!" "I'm naked!") but Claudia calmly introduces herself. One of them says he's John and...blah blah blah. Claudia neither hears nor cares because her Cute Japanese Boy Alarm is going off due to another of the boy CITs. They stare at each other until John finishes his spiel and they leave. The campers start teasing love-struck Claudia until they realize, wait, this isn't a joke; it's TRUE LUV. They vow to help Claud find out who he is. Also, the good news is that she'll get to see him again! The whole reason they came over was because they were inviting Claud and the other girl CITs to a movie night *and* a dance the following week. Oh, man. Claud *has* to find out who he is. Thank goodness she has long-time campers who have their ways of getting in touch with the forbidden boys' side.
Chapter 11: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mr. Richard Spier
59 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: None, because MA dashed this off right quickly
Each day, the CITs and campers have to write postcards and letters to people while their counselors get free time. On Thursday of the first week, MA's postcard to her father is so short and uninformative it looks like one of my 5th grade diary entries ("Dear Dad, Hi! How are you? I'm fine. Camp's fine. Gotta go. Bye. Love, Mary Anne P.S. Pat Tigger for me."). Instead, she focuses on writing a mushy-gushy love letter to Logan, her not-fake boyfriend who is definitely on the other side of the lake. (Meanwhile, this poor lake keeps getting its name mispronounced. What's so hard about Lake Dekanawida?) So, this letter isn't actually for Logan; it's for MA's snotty co-CITs to find...which they do. And they promptly chastise MA for leaving it where anyone, like the campers, could find it. Naturally, it backfires, because the other CITs wonder how she's going to get it to Logan in time for him to find her a yellow flower for the CIT dance, something mentioned in the letter. Tara the Terror suggests she go at night, and ultimately an elaborate plan is hatched. Randi draws up a map of the camp and gets a cantaloupe from the kitchen so MA can hide it under her pillow because Old Meanie does nightly bed checks. Why MA doesn't wait until *after* bed checks--they're only at 9:30--is beyond me. Hello. Just pretend you have to pee. Oh, she says, "I did not want to be wandering around woods infested with murderers at midnight." Uh, one, 10 o'clock isn't midnight; two, do you think the boys' camp is *that* far away? And, three, the two escaped murderers from the asylum in Peacham? You know they were made up by the other CITs to freak you out. Still, she goes, and it's dark; after a while, she hears voices. Oh, crap, there really are murderers out here! No--it's Mrs. Means, Connie her counselor, and a couple guys from the boys' side. Turns out Tara finked on her during bed checks, but when MA returns, and everyone finds out she was roughly halfway across, they're in awe. Hardly anyone had ever done that (though Connie was one of them), and no one had gotten nearly as far as she did. Well. The only bad part? The guys from the boys' side took her letter to give to Logan. Oh, dear.
Chapter 12: Logan
Postcard: To Mr. and Mrs. Lyman Bruno
689 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: None. Like boys draw. Sheesh.
And so we have the fallout from Logan's side. First, we have to hear about the people in his cabin, who include Jackie Rodowsky, Buddy Barrett, and Matt Braddock, who are all bunking together because they're able to communicate with Matt. Naturally, with Jackie around, bunks are collapsing, the cabin has a mosquito infestation, and apparently Jackie stepped on his toothpaste tube and there's stuff all over the floor. The other boys are a handful, too. They're at lunch on Friday when a counselor comes over to Logan and hands him MA's letter, which the CITs read over Logan's shoulder. They've heard about "the feeb" who tried to sneak over the previous night and put two and two together, much to Logan's chagrin. Actually, CIT Cliff's dramatic reading of the letter was really to Logan's chagrin. Despite its ooey-gooey contents, Logan is touched; he thinks it's for real, even though most of MA's previous notes to him have been more like that postcard to her father. He can't think on it for too long, though, because a table full of seven-year-olds is now laughing at him. So, Logan does what comes natural to him, and fires off a spoonful of peas and creamed corn at Cliff. It's not long before the whole mess hall lives up to its name. For his transgression, Logan is barred from doing arts and crafts for three days. Yes, that's really going to teach him. (MA's punishment had been no swimming for three days. I think they mixed up the punishments.)
Chapter 13: Dawn
Postcard: To Mrs. Sharon Schafer
177 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A ghost with shaky lines around it
Dawn, she of tons of camping experience, probably got put with the 11-year-olds because...wait for it...they are the only campers who actually get to go camping. By now it's Sunday of the second week, and they're packing to leave the next day. She's excited, too, despite knowing "the food won't be too healthy." Well, sorry, but I haven't yet found a Whole Foods in the middle of a forest.
She's concerned about Heather, the oddball of her campers. She's still quiet and rebuffs any attempts at friendship by the other girls. She'll go to the arts and crafts cabin but won't do athletic things like swimming, even though it's mandatory; she cut one lesson and Dawn found her reading in her bunk. By now, the other girls have started ignoring her. Frankly, she seems okay with that; less interruptions that way when you're reading or writing. I tell you, this girl should have been with Mallory.
Dawn's discussion of Heather is interrupted because of sad news her counselor receives; Charlene's mother is sick and she has to go home immediately. Oh, dear. The cabin is hushed; everyone's concerned. Mrs. Means, who had come to break the news, tells the cabin that she'll have a replacement counselor there by the next day, but in the meantime Dawn is put in charge. They're so stunned that nobody questions it. Once Charlene leaves, Dawn decides to order everyone around--into having a good time, like the cabin had been planning. She makes them eat junk food and tell ghost stories and stay up late, and that gets the girls in better spirits...except for Heather, who is back to reading in her bunk.
Chapter 14: Stacey
Postcard: To Henry and Grace Walker
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 18E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: A wind-up teddy bear
And then there's Stacey. As if her diabetes isn't enough, she basically has the plague. She's achy and tired, has a rash, thinks she has Lyme disease and possibly chicken pox and allergies. Also, her stomach hurts due to dyspepsia. She's a mess. When the nurse almost faints upon seeing her walk into the infirmary, she's convinced she has leprosy, too. (BTW, that was one of the highlights of my camp years, walking into the nurse's office with nearly 150 bug bites on my legs. When you almost make the nurse faint, you know you're special. Also, you learn to hose yourself down with bug spray.) What it all really is, though, is this:
--A massive case of poison ivy; the nurse asks, "What did you do? Roll around in the leaves?" Actually, yes.
--An equally massive mosquito bite, which was made worse by the poison ivy
--Pinkeye from her cute little camper
--A cold
--Impetigo ("the disgusting thing by my mouth")
--Other bug bites
At least her stomach calmed down when she found out she didn't actually have Lyme disease.
The nurse makes her stay in the infirmary for a few days; Karen ends up bringing over some things for her. Stacey's not alone for long; she gets a roommate in the form of Miko, a CIT with a broken leg and a cast up to her thigh. Why Miko wasn't kept in the hospital for a few days, I don't know, but at least Stacey had company. They both get enough visitors that the nurse has to tell them to keep it down, even though it doesn't appear that anyone else is in there. By Monday, Stacey's doing well enough that she can go back to her cabin the next day. Nonie comes to visit, and Stacey's nervous, thinking she'll pull a prank. The visit goes well, but as Nonie leaves, she shoots a rubber band through a window at her.
Chapter 15: Kristy
Postcard: To Bart Taylor
65 Edgerstoune Drive
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: A bat and ball that suggest Kristy is a better artist than Claudia
Kristy discusses the ups and downs of camp, starting with Charlotte, who cries so much at camp I'm seriously starting to wonder if Richard didn't have a fling with Dr. J back a few years ago. At least Charlotte likes arts and crafts, but that's about it. Kristy then lists the things she likes and dislikes about camp; basically, if it has to do with the lake, she loves it, along with other sporty endeavors; if it's crafty, not so much, and that goes for the whole CITs wanting to make her over deal. (She also dislikes living with so many people, yet by my count there's one less person in her cabin than at her house when it's full, so go figure.) She mentions the routine her campers are doing with Jessi and Mal and describes it as "fun, funny, and touching." Becca, though, "doesn't have much of Jessi's talent," which I wouldn't expect unless Jessi had given birth to her, honestly, and even that's not a given.
For the past week, though, in between Charlotte's crying jags and taking the campers to their rehearsals, the other CITs have been making over Kristy in their heads. They finally sit her in a chair and go at her, though not before Kristy seriously imagines rolling around in Stacey's poison ivy patch to try to get out of the dance. My lord, Kristy. It's not that bad. You'll be wearing teepee clothing, so it's not like you have to get all dressed up for it or anything. (There is no mention of teepee skirts, for instance.) Anyway, on Monday of the second week the other CITs (including "Izzy"--was it that hard to keep spelling her name the same way?) sit Kristy down and attack her with makeup, more of an experiment than full-on makeover. When Izzy holds up a mirror, Kristy honestly doesn't recognize herself, though "I have to admit that I did not look revolting." She feels she looks older, though this isn't the Kristy she knows. She suddenly feels the need to get away from everyone...and understands some of what she imagines Charlotte's feeling.
Chapter 16: Claudia
Postcard: To Janine Kishi
58 Bradford
Stoneybrook, Connec 06800
Drawing: Flower doodles
I really, really dislike the Claudia drawings. They're pretty crappy. I don't know why the good drawings are done by people who want nothing to do with the arts (ahem, Kristy). Perhaps Claudia's artistic abilities have been hampered by her finding TRUE LUV at camp. Except, of course, she doesn't know his name. That is, until Tuesday. It's after lunch, and it's letter-writing time, except the campers take a page from the Mary Anne Book of Postcard Writing and are done in a flash. Haley Braddock's the one to announce they've found her cutie pie; Jayme, a longtime camper, tells her his name is Will Yamakawa and he'll be at CIT movie night. The following night, she puts on "my best teepee clothes" along with minor accessories and joins fellow CIT Sally in the Camp Mohawk mini-van. There's no sign of Mary Anne or Dawn, which surprises her--why wouldn't Mary Anne take the chance to see Logan?--but there was some sort of camp crisis so maybe they were attending to that, whatever, CUTE BOY HERE I COME. She spots Will and elbows her way over; he's pleasantly surprised to see her, and also shocked she knows his name. When the movie turns out to be Meatballs, and their talking through it disrupts everyone, they end up going outside to talk in peace. She finds out that he's from New York state and used to live with his grandmother, though she just died after an illness. Once the movie is over, the CITs sit around a campfire and roast marshmallows; Will roasts for both of them, and they sit there holding hands until the girls have to go back.
Chapter 17: Dawn (or, guess who has to eat a hot dog!)
Postcard: To Granny and Pop-Pop Porter
747 Bertrand Drive
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: A knapsack
Dawn's new counselor arrived the next day; Debra's only two years older than Dawn, and was a CIT the previous year. Debra thinks things will be fine--she'd done the camping trip the previous year--yet she doesn't get more than two steps away from the cabin when she's reminded that she forgot something...by quiet Heather, who even reminds Dawn to bring extra canteens. The camping trip is the same thing over and over--follow the piles of rocks known as cairns roughly five miles away from camp to the camping site. Things are going well, and they're singing "Monster Mash" of all things, when Heather notices a cairn that collapsed. They don't know which way to go. Debra consults her map and says they have to go left. Heather disagrees, but they go left anyway and soon are completely lost. Heather ends up spotting a clearing and suggests they make camp there, which they do. She even helps get the fire going (which is useful for the hot dogs they made for dinner; Dawn admits to choking one down, because it "was okay as long as I didn't think about what was in it." Dawn, that's what everyone does. Shut up). Somehow the insane murderers from Peacham come up, which really freaks them out, especially since they don't know where they are. They don't sleep well that night. They walk for hours and hours the next day, with Heather helping out at times and surprisingly being a comfort to her fellow campers. Dawn discovers that one of the books she'd read was a camping and survival guide. Aha. Actually, the only person who doesn't ask Heather for help is Debra, which is part of how they ended up back at the same clearing as the night before. Heather asks to see the map, determines where they are, and says it's a long-enough walk that they should just stay in place and go back the next day. Within two hours of starting back, they run into a search party from camp that includes Mary Anne and Stacey. Heather ends up getting a bravery medal from Mrs. Means upon their return.
Chapter 18: Mary Anne
Postcard: To Mrs. L. Yamamoto
58 Bradford Court
Stoneybrook, CT
06800
Drawing: An earring
Kristy's not the only CIT with makeover issues. Mary Anne's fellow CITs wanted to pierce her ears. They've given her more respect since the lake incident, but it's like they don't have total faith in her. For instance, they keep asking her for beauty tips. Mary Anne keeps making things up she thinks they want to hear. Yes, that's the way to build trust in others. Anyway, they suddenly think MA needs holes in her head, and she decides to call their bluff. The others are taken aback. MA plays cool, calm, and collected, even though she knows her father will disown her if she comes home pierced. The others gather the necessary materials, and Randi offers up earrings to use as studs; MA keeps playing dumb and selecting inappropriate pairs, but finally picks ones that will work, to her chagrin. Faye ends up having to do the piercing, and...she chickens out. Mary Anne's lobes are safe.
Chapter 19: Logan
Postcard: To Kerry and Hunter Bruno
689 Burnt Hill Road
Stoneybrook, CT 06800
Drawing: None
Way to keep up character traits: Logan asks his brother if he's "a-chooing everywhere" in his postcard home. Really? With such little space on a postcard, you're going to waste time with that? At least he also mentions the CIT dance, to be held that night; he's looking forward to seeing Mary Anne, AKA "the feeb." He goes and surveys the boys' mess hall; it's festooned in red and white a la Valentine's Day. It's as ooey-gooey as MA's letter, which, by the way, he's trying to follow--he finds a yellow flower and borrows after-shave from a counselor. Also, he may be a Kentucky boy, but the East Coast has permeated his wardrobe: "I put on my teepee shorts and teepee polo shirt and tied my teepee sweater casually around my shoulders." Along with the outfit from Cats mentioned in #17, chalk this up to something I doubt an actual 13-year-old boy would wear.
Now, after MA skipped movie night, Logan is paranoid she won't show up for the dance. Oh, but she does, and immediately throws herself on him. When they let go of their embrace, they have an audience--all the boy and girl CITs who wanted to know the other actually existed. Canon alert: Logan references the first dance they attended, when MA's shoe flew off; understandably, MA's nervous about this dance, but things go well--so well that after a few dances CIT Cliff cuts in to dance with MA. This causes Logan to cut in on another couple, and the girl turns out to be a made-over Kristy. Logan doesn't even recognize her and goes, "Anyway, wow!" The boy CITs realize Mary Anne's not a feeb, and the girls are thrilled to finally meet Logan, and the night goes well. At one point Logan cuts in on Claudia, who'd been dancing with Will (who else?), but he quickly gets Will back because Claudia's acting spacey. That's fine, because it means he can get back to MA...and they can sneak away for a kiss. Or two.
Chapter 20: Claudia
Postcard: To Ashly Wyeth
12 Reilly Ln
Stoneybrook CT 06800
Drawing: Broken heart
Claud's postcard to Ashley (Ashly?) deals with the pain of breaking up with someone she's known for a week, and how pain is good for art; she theorizes she'll be plenty inspired once she gets home. But first, the dance. She gets plenty of help from her campers on how to accessorize and do her hair, because Claudia's never been able to do this for herself. Once ready, she joins the other BSC CITs on the van and heads over to the boys' side. I have to pause here and snark the vehicle, because it's described as a mini-van, a regular van, and a bus. Which is it? Those are three separate vehicles, and considering, if they're transporting all the CITs, that's 24 people; a mini-van would fit 7 or 8; a regular van seats what, 15? Even small school buses only fit maybe 16-20. And it sounds like they took just one vehicle. I think whoever built the van also built Kristy's house, since it can morph to fit Ann's needs. But I digress.
As soon as they arrived, Claudia was off the...um, vehicle...and into Will's arms. She mentions that some boys like to check out the food immediately upon arrival, but not Will; the two of them waste no time and get right to dancing. After a few dances people start cutting in, and Logan cuts in on her; she says, after 30 seconds, Logan got Will back and that "I don't remember much about dancing with Logan, but I remember every second of dancing with Will." The luv, it is true, people. They spend their dances talking, and Will says he thinks his grandmother's spirit is with him. They're in the middle of a slow dance when Kristy cuts in, much to Claud's chagrin, because oh, my lord, "Do you cut in on two people in the middle of a slow dance who look like they're having a heavy conversation?" Right, because Kristy is aware of the subtleties of interpersonal communication. The girl lives with Karen at times. Subtle is when someone's not shouting. Eventually they grab some food and dance a little more before heading outside, where Claudia breaks the spell and goes, you know, we'll probably never see each other again. Will wonders, what about next year? Claudia counters with, a lot can happen in a year; they agree to say good-bye, and just then the dance lets out--yep, it's really good-bye. Except their final words to each other are "I wish I could hold you forever" and "I wish time could stop right now." Aw. Somewhere, Mary Anne is crying, but I think it's because her flower pin is sticking her. Claudia board the vehicle, without even exchanging addresses or numbers, though I doubt there's that many Yamakawas in Ashfield, New York. They had operators and 411 back then. Alas, all Claud can think of is having to leave her beloved Will, and Stacey comforts her on the ride back while Claud cries. Once back at her cabin, though, her tears stop flowing; it's hard to cry when you have a bunch of 9-year-olds pestering you. Especially when they ask about kissing.
Chapter 21: Kristy
Postcard: To Shannon Kilbourne
Camp Eerie
Princeton, MI 48800
Drawing: Water skis
It's Kristy's turn to narrate the dance. Her experience includes the full-on makeover by her fellow CITs, done while Kristy protested that she, in fact, was not actually attending. The only person who sided with Kristy? Charlotte. Even Becca Ramsey chimes in with ideas to help Kristy look better, suggesting she borrow a pair of shoes from another CIT (because, hello, you can't impress the boys while wearing Velcro). She may have looked decent, even pretty, but she felt like Margo Pike and the bumpy ride to the boys' side didn't help matters. She tries to stay on the bus but the driver wasn't having it, so off she went. Tansy ends up being her wingwoman, suggesting they hang around the food table for a while to get comfortable. Kristy realizes she's surprisingly hungry, then remembers "I'd been too nervous to eat supper, and anyway, who could have eaten vegetable burgers?" Have you met Dawn?
Tansy eventually gets asked to dance--by a boy--so Kristy's alone for a little bit until a boy asks her to dance! And then Logan cuts in! Two boys in one night, wow! Won't Bart be jealous. Kristy decides to take charge and cuts in on a couple herself, though it ends up being Claudia and Will, and Claud is none too happy. You know those looks Kristy gives people when they're thirty seconds late to a meeting? Claud finally gets to return the favor.
After a while she ends up without a partner and heads back over to the food table; by then people are taking breaks and she catches up with the other BSC members plus a few others. Even so, she's not sorry to see the vehicle come to pick them back up. Back at the cabin, she checks in on Char; Char's glad to have her back.
Chapter 22: Stacey
Postcard: To Mrs. and Mrs. Edward McGill
14 West 81st Street, Apt. 12E
New York, NY 10000
Drawing: Self-portrait with spots
Stacey's postcard starts off with her semi-mad at her parents because they called to check up on her while she was still in the infirmary. She repeats, "I'M NOT A BABY!" Perhaps not, but you're acting like one. Be glad your parents care enough to be concerned; some parents go off on their own vacations while their kids are at camp and they're hard to reach. On the flip side, they should be glad the camp was keeping them informed on Stacey's status and that they kept her in the infirmary long enough to make sure she was getting better and wasn't going to potentially infect other kids. That's all they'd need. Also, she mentions that she has to test her urine daily due to her diabetes. Um, any diabetics want to chime in on that? I know about blood tests, but urine? Daily? I have a close friend who's been diabetic for years and she's never mentioned that as part of her routine. The line even goes on to read "the test tells me if there's too much or too little sugar in my blood." ...From your urine you can tell this? So confused.
Stacey's backtracked a couple days and is still in the infirmary, though it's time for her to go "home." Miko and her broken leg have just gotten crutches, and she's working with them while Stacey packs up. Miko loses her balance and Stacey rescues her from falling, incurring a couple new bumps in the process. She's fine enough to still leave, at least, and lispy Nonie and loud Karen are the ones to accompany her back. Upon entering her cabin, Stacey promptly gets a splinter and has to go back to the nurse. Sigh. But, she promises, she stayed healthy after that, even attending movie night and the dance. She wakes up Thursday morning--after not having any jokes played on her by Nonie--to the declaration, "It'sh Chrishtmash!" Wait, what? No. It's like July. But she goes and looks outside and it's "snowed," and then Stacey looks around the cabin and, sure enough, it looks like Santa had come. Cabin 6-A had Christmased them, in the fine Camp Mohawk tradition. Stacey checks her stocking and inside her gifts include sugarless candy...and Calamine lotion and bandages. Nice.
Chapter 23: Jessi
Postcard: To Keisha Ramsey
8320 Wagner Lane
Oakley, NJ 07400
Drawing: Ballet slippers
Hello! Remember Jessi and Mallory? They're still here. They're the ones that aren't dealing with mosquito bites or makeovers. No, no; they have the honest-to-goodness serious topic of racism. Also, teaching 8-year-olds to dance. I do like her postcard because aside from Mary Anne's slap-dash one to her dad, it's the one most likely to have been written by a kid, at least in terms of style; she writes so much to Keisha that she has to scrunch her last few lines really closely to fit them in. Also, I've suddenly realized that her handwriting resembles something you'd get from your 70-year-old great aunt. This definitely is not sixth-grader handwriting.
What could have been the most interesting story line is glossed over in one paragraph: The Ms still suck. (There's no mention of how they got screwed out of going camping, either. Dawn's group getting lost meant the other 11-year-olds couldn't go.) But Mal and Jessi don't care. In fact, through their dramatic dance, they'll find a way to stick it to their fellow campers/non-junior CITs. That's right, let's use a bunch of 8-year-olds as pawns. Fabulous. There's also no mention that Becca was treated shabbily in any way, either, but then again it's not like Stacey forced her to write down all her feelings for posterity.
What Mal and Jessi have done is write a mini-musical "about friendship and trust and being black or white." Yes, because that's totally realistic and feasible to pull off in two weeks' time by two 11-year-olds who've never done such a thing, and who are coaching a bunch of kids who, at best, have little to no talent and, at worse, have severe stage fright. Yes. I can totally see this happening. They couldn't just, like, pick a Madonna song and teach them simple choreography? My day camp had a yearly talent show along the same lines and, trust me, it took us three to four weeks to learn a simple dance routine. Just once do I recall us writing our own material, and it was but one song. Not an entire musical. (Fun fact: I basically looked like Stacey at the time, since the song detailed things that had gone wrong at camp or something and people were pretending to hobble around on crutches. Good times.)
The stars of the show are Becca and Char, and they play twins. Jessi admits that the show isn't subtle and wonders how it'll go over with her cabin mates. By now it's Saturday, time to perform, just about time to go home. Jessi has lunch with her parents prior to show time, and she's thrilled they've brought Squirt with; "I'd been sure they'd leave our baby brother in Connecticut with a sitter. (What sitter? We were all at Camp Mohawk.)" ...I'll just leave that there.
The show started at two, and Jessi mentions the groups that go before her. Finally, it's their turn, and while lines are forgotten and dancers fall, overall it goes well, and Charlotte is even able to perform a crucial trust fall. The performance gets a standing ovation. Back at the cabin, packing up, everyone's silent until counselor Autumn congratulates them, and then most of the other campers apologize or offer up horse books to read. Only one of them, Maureen, stays silent. Can't win 'em all.
It's time to go, and the cars are packing up; Jessi and Kristy watch Char get in her parents' car, and they're both amazed she stayed the full two weeks. Kristy had talked with Char the night before, and basically Char had wanted to prove to herself she could do it. And she did. Other people leaving include Dawn and Mary Anne--together--and Claudia with only her parents, because Mimi wasn't doing well and she stayed home with Janine. Knowing what happens soon after this book makes me really, really sad. But, for now, the only ending comes from Camp Mohawk. Oh, and Stacey.
Epilogue: Stacey
Instead of a postcard, the final chapter includes letters from Kristy, Claud, Charlotte, and Nonie of all people. Stacey and Nonie exchange Christmas cards, which is pretty cute, actually. Claud's letter amuses me because she writes, "Today is the thrid day in a row Ive' worn something with no TP on it." I'm imagining this as toilet paper. I doubt there will be a fourth day. Stacey muses that going to camp has involved her getting a lot of mail--not only is she getting letters from people, she's also getting the diary entries that make up her book. As it turns out, Claud's campers got her Will's address, and they've been writing back and forth. TRUE LUV CONQUERS ALL. On occasion, Kristy wears mascara. It's pretty much only when she anticipates running into Bart, but it's a start. Mary Anne kept in touch with some of the other CITs, though she'll never pierce her ears. Super camper Dawn, upset with the whole camping debacle, is thinking about doing Outward Bound the following summer, if she ever gets to it. She's kept in touch with Heather, whose Camp Mohawk days are over. As for Mal and Jessi, they wrote to Mandi, their fellow camper who'd made the book recommendation--and even heard back. And as Stacey's favorite character might say, that's all, folks.
Well, that wasn't as snarkable as I'd hoped, but it still ended up really long. Sorry.