Mystery #16: Claudia and the Clue in the Photograph
Well, it’s not my first time snarking a book-I’ve been trying to snark an SVU book but I got to chapter four and threw the book down at work and declared that I had no idea how those girls hadn’t been murdered yet because, Christ on a pogo stick, they are morons-but it is my first time snarking a BSC book. So I figured I’d do one that hadn’t been snarked yet and one that I remember reading a few times and voila, Claudia and the Clue in the Photograph was chosen. And let me just say now, I tend to ramble or go off on tangents and I’ll try to curb that impulse so this doesn’t get too ridiculously long, though I just know it’s going to take more than one post to get this done.
Let’s start with the cover, shall we? Claudia’s outfit looks pretty tame to me though she’s wearing her standard side ponytail. I know they always harp on Kristy and her turtlenecks, sweatshirts, and jeans but damn, don’t the artists know any other hairstyles for Claudia? It’s always a side ponytail. At least the ghosties sometimes have her put her hair in braids and then in a ponytail. Anyway, this cover isn’t too bad despite the fact that Claudia is touching the negatives. What the hell? You touch the edges when you’re developing those and then after you’ve dried them, you still handle them more carefully than that so you’re not covering them in fingerprints. Either way, this cover is way better than the revamped one where Claudia looks like a boy and her hair looks like it belongs on Mike Chang.
The ghostie this time around is Ellen Miles so I imagine we’re in for a lot of parenthesis. But with my luck, Miles will choose to prove me wrong.
Chapter One:
And here we go, the book is starting with dialogue! (Color me surprised. See, Miles, I can use parenthesis too!) Janine is bitching at Claudia recording her while eating. Oddly enough, it says she puts down her fork but Janine says that she’s eating Shredded Wheat, which is a cereal. Why the hell is Janine eating cereal with a fork? Well, maybe she’s like my dad and seriously hates spoons. But even he’ll just opt to eat dry cereal before using a spoon so I’m already confused which means that I’m right there with Claudia, though she’s confused because Janine used the word posterity. Apparently, Janine always uses words that Claudia doesn’t know but whatever, Claudia could give a shit about that.
Over the next few paragraphs, we’re treated to Claudia spouting off about how “Mr. Geist says *insert photography tip of the day here*” while she ignores her mom telling her to put the camera down and eat her breakfast-which is just two pieces of raisin toast anyway, what the hell, Mrs. Kishi? Does Claudia not get cereal as a punishment for her grades or something? Anyway, Mr. Kishi puts a stop to that nonsense by telling Claudia that the Kishis eating breakfast is not to be recorded and put his Minolta down because she’s going to get jelly on it. (How low is Claudia holding that camera if she’s running the risk of getting jelly on it?)
Claudia makes a point of saying that she’s been really careful with the camera and how Mr. Geist says it’s a classic and it’s been nearly twelve years since I read a BSC book but this just feels like foreshadowing already. Something’s totally going to happen to that camera while solving the mystery, isn’t it?
Blah blah, Mr. Geist is the photography teacher and one of the best teachers Claudia had ever had at SMS. (And hey, parenthesis to tell us that SMS is Stoneybrook Middle School which is in *gasp* Stoneybrook! That’s where Claudia lives you know, in case you missed the last however many books that came before this one.) Anyway, photography apparently makes summer school totally fun and worth it and she’s taking this as part of a deal with her parents. She has to redo math but she can take a fun course too. According to Claudia, Mr. Geist has opened her to a whole new world and my mind immediately goes to a place of sex and drugs but, no, apparently Claudia just means that she loves photography now. Or at least for as long as this book lasts so she can solve the crime.
Oh, I hate this next paragraph. Claudia introduces herself by talking directly to the reader and saying that we’ve probably already guessed her name and that she has a super smart sister named Janine. I’m not sure what about the exchange in the beginning is supposed to tell us that Janine’s super smart but I’m guessing it’s the fact that she uses words that Claudia doesn’t understand. I call bullshit on that since I’m sure a portion of their charges do that and I know that most of those kids are just insane. Also, her family is super close since they eat breakfast together. Again, I’m calling bullshit. My mom and I have always been close but we could only eat breakfast together on weekends. Not everyone lives in the 50s, Miles! Lastly, we must already know how much she loves all things like photography.
I was totally going to skip the next part but I have to just say, what the hell, Claudia?
Other kids would do a little crayoning and then move on to playing with dolls or riding bikes. Me? I moved from crayoning to finger-painting to papier-mâché and then back to crayoning.
Crayoning is not a word, Claudia. Just say that you used to like coloring, don’t make up words. Your English teachers must hate you between the spelling, grammar, and making up of words.
Developing film is magic and makes Claudia feel like a wizard.
Her dad turned the bathroom between her and Janine’s rooms into a dark room. Like…all the time? I hope not or that must be really annoying.
Dub. The BSC is a dub, not a club apparently. Claudia must have been the one to type this book.
Claudia gets bitchy about Janine’s summer job saying she thought it’d be something interesting like teaching rats to go through a maze-and okay, I suppose for Claudia, sitting in front of a computer would get boring but whatever. No need to be all “I’d rather watch bread get stale.” I’m guessing she couldn’t say she’d rather watch paint dry because she actually does that for fun or something.
Darn it, Claudia, I was going to skip to chapter two and then we get an outfit description!
Staring back at me was a medium-height Japanese-American girl with almond-shaped eyes and long, black hair held back by a pink, star-shaped barrette. She wore a silky pink tank top with a man’s white shirt tied casually over it, white jeans, and flip-flops decorated with more pink stars.
Huh...that’s actually really tame and not bad. I’m wondering why on earth a 13 year old owns a silk tank top but, yeah, really tame. No crazy patterns, no sheep, no vegetables or anything! Wow.
The only other clothing mention in this chapter is Claudia making a note that her math teacher’s tie is gorgeous and so she should find that material to work with it. When she became a seamstress, I don’t know.
The chapter ends after Claudia’s day of...well, I don’t know what the hell she did, I skimmed it because it was the junk food talk and how she hates reading anything other than Nancy Drew books.
Anyway, Claudia gets home and Janine’s there and the way they emphasize you when Claudia asks “What are you doing here?” makes me think she said that in a completely snotty and bitchy tone. Um, she lives there, Claudia. You should know this.
Janine accidentally ruins Claudia’s negatives by opening the bathroom door while Claudia is trying to develop her film and I have to give Claudia points here because rather than snap at Janine, she can see how bad Janine feels and tells her it’s okay and then just makes a sign that says Darkroom in Use for the door.
Chapter Two:
Claudia decides to start this one off by giving us all a heart attack when she says that she’s finished all of her math homework by 5:20. What is this madness?!
Her negatives were pretty much ruined but Claudia says that she’ll just reshoot the whole roll and it won’t be any trouble. Apparently the film is from a fashion shoot that she and Stacey did and Claudia just knows that Stacey won’t mind posing for her again because she loved playing model. Is playing model like playing doctor? Because it sounds dirty.
The chapter two dump about each member is actually done slightly differently this time around - Claudia’s photography assignment is portraits so she decides to capture each member (I swear that phrase makes me think she’s going to lock them up) as they walk into her room so that you can see who they really are. After each picture description, we get all their character traits. The first to arrive is, of course, Kristy so after her description, we also get the spiel of how the BSC was created and talk of Kid-Kits.
My mind is then boggled because rather than continue with the info dump, we get actual dialogue and-oh, damn. Never mind. That dialogue was just an excuse to explain what office in the club that Claudia holds and then Claudia actually makes Kristy wait to continue talking because she hears the front door slam. I’m sure the Kishis love that these girls just walk in and slam the door shut behind them rather than, I don’t know, respecting that it’s not their house and closing the door quietly behind them.
Aw, there’s a missed opportunity for an outfit description. The most we know is that Stacey is wearing blue suede clogs and an up to the minute outfit. I’ve read what you and Stacey like to wear, Claudia and I’m sort of terrified to know but let’s move on.
Stacey has a glow in her picture according to Claudia because she has a boyfriend-this time it’s Robert and I actually didn’t read a lot of the later books but didn’t he cause all sorts of drama or something? Well, Claudia insists she’s happy for Stacey but also jealous because she wants a boyfriend-badly enough that she advertised for one in the personals column she runs in the school paper and I...oh, damn, Claudia, really? I can’t even. You’re thirteen! *facepalm* And why does your paper even have a personals column? Oh, right, because in Stoneybrook, being thirteen means you’re basically twenty-five.
Oh, drama question answered. Thanks, Claudia.
Then Stacey gets on the bed, smiles up at Claudia and declares that she and Claudia can be together now. Sadly, the last part is a lie but that would’ve made chapter two so very interesting. Diabetes talk and I imagine my brother and cousin would both slap around Miles and AMM for this bullshit since they both have diabetes and while they have to be careful and make sure they give themselves their insulin, they don’t go into a coma at the sight of M&Ms or whatever.
I swear I won’t go through each girl but I just have to point out that when Mary Anne arrives next, Claudia makes it a point to say that Mary Anne has a cool haircut and, damn, Kishi, make up your mind. You girls were total bitches when Mary Anne first got that hair cut. Yeesh.
Dawn’s gone, Shannon’s there, woo! I totally forgot that about this book!
Mallory and Jessi only get one paragraph combined when they enter and records are broken because Mallory’s description isn’t horrible. But, hey, we’re back on track with Jessi being black. And you know what that means for the BSC?
Oh, hey, subplot intro! Special project idea from Mary Anne and Kristy isn’t offended that Mary Anne just stole her character trait! Anyway, the Barretts really miss Dawn so they want to make her a book or something that’ll make her even more homesick for Stoneybrook and she’ll come home sooner. Damn it, Barretts! You’re killing me.
Also, Mary Anne has an “I miss Dawn” look that just makes me wonder if things were turning into a girl-on-girl version of a Life With Derek fic in that house when Dawn was still around.
End of chapter with Claudia taking her own picture in the mirror and deciding to title her project Portrait of the BSC with the subtitle of My Best Friends.
Chapter Three:
Babysitting chapter time! I’m reading this through a download so the way I can tell this is a notebook entry is that it’s a different font and bolded. But apparently it’s Mary Anne’s notebook entry and it’s only four lines long because Claudia says that the entry goes on and on and she wants to save us from Mary Anne’s gushing. Ha.
They’ve got an idea for the project for Dawn and it took ten kids and three sitters to think of this so I’m waiting for something epic like a music video and a light show and maybe a short film but I doubt any of those will be it. I guess I better actually read to find out.
Mary Anne’s sitting for the Barretts again and we get a round up of who they are and then also mention of Franklin DeWitt-Claudia assures us he’s not one of the founding fathers even though she thinks his name sounds like something she needs to know for a history test-and then says that Mrs. Barrett and Mr. DeWitt are getting serious and if they get married, the Brady Bunch is going to have nothing on the Barrett-DeWitt bunch.
Buddy acts like a pretty typical kid with a one track mind when he completely bypasses Mr. DeWitt to ask Mary Anne if she’s come up with any ideas for the Dawn project but Mary Anne is shocked and about to order him to say hello when Mrs. Barrett-gasps-beats her to it! Madness, I tell you, madness!
And holy crap, here we go. Mary Anne apparently later tells Claudia that Mrs. Barrett’s white dress made her think of weddings and so she had a tear in her eye as she watched them leave. I’m going to be drinking by the end of this, I just know it.
Didn’t Mary Anne just sit for the Barretts? Because I’m not sure how she doesn’t know that they have a turtle and a gerbil then. Especially since the Barretts apparently have all kinds of pets to make up for the fact that they had to give away Pow when they found out Marnie was allergic to the dog.
The reason this is even brought up is because they have to feed the pets before Mary Anne takes them to the Pikes where Mallory (that girl never gets a break, damn) and Claudia are babysitting. They’re hoping between all of them, they’ll come up with an idea for the Dawn project.
Enter the Pikes. Adam and Jordan are teasing Nicky, Byron is off somewhere and pining for Jeff Schafer, Vanessa’s writing and the other girls are playing with Pow.
Oh, wait, no Byron is apparently scaling the gutter to get a Frisbee off the roof while Mallory watches anxiously. Doesn’t this family own a ladder? One of the sitters should be on a freaking ladder and getting the Frisbee if they’re that desperate for it but they should just tell him to forget about it for now and have Mr. Pike climb off of Mrs. Pike to go get it.
They brainstorm ideas and Claudia’s is to have a plane fly over Dawn’s favorite beach with a banner telling her to come home. She manages to stun everyone into silence with that one.
I have no words.
A bazillion more ideas from singing telegrams to other plane-centered ideas are thrown around and then Claudia has the idea to do a book, A Day in the Life of Stoneybrook where they’ll set up the kids with cameras and make a book of photos for Dawn.
Once more we revisit Mary Anne’s sketchy relationship with Dawn when she teases her over the phone at the end of the chapter and then she calls Claudia so they can squee over it and over Sunday, which is when they’ll be taking pictures.
Chapter Four:
Claudia realizes that this project will take actual planning so they spend the rest of the week doing that-checking which kids will do it and rounding up cameras from various families. And they bust into the BSC treasury to buy film and “those new disposable cameras”.
OMG, this is driving me nuts. It’s like the fourth time that the word dub has been used instead of club. Then two lines later, it’s club again. How did this even get published with that many typos? I really hope this happened when transcribing this book to Word but with these, who knows?
Again with the tame outfit! Claudia, jeans and a Hard Rock Café shirt? That’s it? Since when has hard work ever stopped you from dressing in one of your, according to you, high fashion outfits? You dressed up to go sailing and were the most stylish one on the island! A little walking shouldn’t stop you!
Claudia continues to call the baseball diamond “the ballfield” and annoys the shit out of me every single time. She also considers stalking Janine and her boyfriend for pics even though Janine told her hell to the no but then remembers that she and the others have already scheduled the day down to the minute. Kristy is going to lose it when some kid makes them stop so he can go to the bathroom or something. My money’s on Jamie.
There’s chaos at the Krushers vs. Bashers game, we get mention of Bart and his most important role is that of Kristy’s beard boyfriend. There’s cheerleaders in the form of Charlotte, Vanessa, and Haley and Becca keeps trying to get them to make a pyramid but they’re laughing too hard to keep it up. Mallory, Jessi, and Mary Anne are already there and Mary Anne’s taken a roll and a half of Tigger, color me surprised. There is actually a cute story of Nicky trying to take a picture of Pow that morning but Pow kept getting up and following Nicky back to the camera and it just sounds like something that would actually happen. Aw, Nicky, you’re totally going to need to bribe Pow to sit still.
This chapter is mostly the BSC taking the kids around town to take pictures (bet that won’t become a major point at all) and Claudia quoting Mr. Geist again and explaining words like façade until she spots the old bank and becomes fascinated by the building. She takes picture after picture and runs out of film. Mary Anne takes pictures of Claudia taking pictures because she looks funny and when they finally leave to meet up with Stacey at the train station, Mary Anne and the kids ignore Claudia trying to explain that she wants to use those photos for a new project for class and just continue to make fun of her. Nice.
Then the club meets up at Claudia’s to discuss the pictures they all took throughout the day and Mary Anne tells everyone about the bank photos so that they all make fun of Claudia. No, literally. Yeah, Mary Anne’s the sensitive one. *rolls eyes*
And then the chapter ends with a brick to the face about those photos by Claudia saying that little did they know but the photos would become very, very important.
Chapter Five:
Seriously, Claudia and Stacey are going to hook up in the future if they haven’t already. The chapter starts with them waltzing together around the room, singing a song that goes “angel of mine, my heart is in your hands”, and then collapsing on her bed, laughing. But then Stacey kills the moment by bringing up Robert and Claudia hits her with a pillow and Kristy calls the meeting to order, making me realize that they’re doing this with an audience so when they hook up, they’re going to be the girls that go at it in the middle of the party, I’m sure.
Kristy turns off the radio and Claudia protests and I’m sure the world will end soon because Claudia is telling Kristy that she can’t do something. Apparently the radio’s playing an hour of Billy Blue and Claudia refuses to miss it. When Kristy asks who that is, Claudia and Stacey flip their shit and I agree. Come on, Kristy, everyone knows that Billy Blue is the alias that Ray uses in I Know What You Did Last Summer that makes Julie think he’s a psychotic hook-using killer.
Oh wait, no, he’s a singer. So much for that.
Either way, Kristy compromises and lets the radio stay on but makes Claudia turn it way down so that you can just barely hear it. Claudia and Stacey grin and mouth the words of a song called “Your Sweet Kiss” to each other.
Just make out already, girls.
Hello, main plot, how are you today? Billy Blue gets interrupted for a special bulletin and it turns out that there’s hundreds of thousands of dollars missing-Watson’s going to be pissed, I bet-and if anyone has any clues, to call a special number. Claudia is all freaked out about how that could be their money and Shannon, oh Shannon, she brings the logic and asks if Claudia has an account there and Claudia has to admit that, no, she doesn’t but she could have and then that money could’ve been hers. I’m flashing back to the Phantom Caller now. Get a grip, Claudia.
Oh, oh, oh though! Claudia points out that she took tons of pictures of the bank and maybe there’s a clue in one of those! Stacey says she’s been watching too many late night movies. Mary Anne points out that there’s a movie like that only the crime in the movie was a murder. Kristy brings the logic this time and says that while it could happen, they don’t even know when the robbery took place and it’d be a huge coincidence if it happened on Sunday.
Claudia ignores all of this and decides she’s going to develop that film that very night.
I hadn’t pointed it out but, wow, Miles makes it a point to go over the different steps of developing film and all of that step by step. I never noticed that back when I first read the book but I do a lot of skimming now when it happens.
Well, anyway, surprise! Nothing is in the pictures. Claudia’s pretty disappointed but goes to bed and then she’s mentally laughing her ass off at Kristy, Mary Anne, and Stacey because they show up as soon as summer school is over for Claudia to see if she actually did find anything in the pictures. Kristy is disappointed because she was hoping for a clue but Mary Anne is more curious about the age of the baby in the stroller that’s in one of the pictures and goodness, she’s trolling for new clients even through photographs, isn’t she? Stacey also makes a point of pointing out a man she thinks is a banker because of his old school banker’s watch.
I’m sure neither of those characters is going to come up ever again. At all.
And that's it for now but I'll try to get the next part up within the next few days! Who knows what crazy hi-jinks these girls will get involved in during the next few chapters?
Let’s start with the cover, shall we? Claudia’s outfit looks pretty tame to me though she’s wearing her standard side ponytail. I know they always harp on Kristy and her turtlenecks, sweatshirts, and jeans but damn, don’t the artists know any other hairstyles for Claudia? It’s always a side ponytail. At least the ghosties sometimes have her put her hair in braids and then in a ponytail. Anyway, this cover isn’t too bad despite the fact that Claudia is touching the negatives. What the hell? You touch the edges when you’re developing those and then after you’ve dried them, you still handle them more carefully than that so you’re not covering them in fingerprints. Either way, this cover is way better than the revamped one where Claudia looks like a boy and her hair looks like it belongs on Mike Chang.
The ghostie this time around is Ellen Miles so I imagine we’re in for a lot of parenthesis. But with my luck, Miles will choose to prove me wrong.
Chapter One:
And here we go, the book is starting with dialogue! (Color me surprised. See, Miles, I can use parenthesis too!) Janine is bitching at Claudia recording her while eating. Oddly enough, it says she puts down her fork but Janine says that she’s eating Shredded Wheat, which is a cereal. Why the hell is Janine eating cereal with a fork? Well, maybe she’s like my dad and seriously hates spoons. But even he’ll just opt to eat dry cereal before using a spoon so I’m already confused which means that I’m right there with Claudia, though she’s confused because Janine used the word posterity. Apparently, Janine always uses words that Claudia doesn’t know but whatever, Claudia could give a shit about that.
Over the next few paragraphs, we’re treated to Claudia spouting off about how “Mr. Geist says *insert photography tip of the day here*” while she ignores her mom telling her to put the camera down and eat her breakfast-which is just two pieces of raisin toast anyway, what the hell, Mrs. Kishi? Does Claudia not get cereal as a punishment for her grades or something? Anyway, Mr. Kishi puts a stop to that nonsense by telling Claudia that the Kishis eating breakfast is not to be recorded and put his Minolta down because she’s going to get jelly on it. (How low is Claudia holding that camera if she’s running the risk of getting jelly on it?)
Claudia makes a point of saying that she’s been really careful with the camera and how Mr. Geist says it’s a classic and it’s been nearly twelve years since I read a BSC book but this just feels like foreshadowing already. Something’s totally going to happen to that camera while solving the mystery, isn’t it?
Blah blah, Mr. Geist is the photography teacher and one of the best teachers Claudia had ever had at SMS. (And hey, parenthesis to tell us that SMS is Stoneybrook Middle School which is in *gasp* Stoneybrook! That’s where Claudia lives you know, in case you missed the last however many books that came before this one.) Anyway, photography apparently makes summer school totally fun and worth it and she’s taking this as part of a deal with her parents. She has to redo math but she can take a fun course too. According to Claudia, Mr. Geist has opened her to a whole new world and my mind immediately goes to a place of sex and drugs but, no, apparently Claudia just means that she loves photography now. Or at least for as long as this book lasts so she can solve the crime.
Oh, I hate this next paragraph. Claudia introduces herself by talking directly to the reader and saying that we’ve probably already guessed her name and that she has a super smart sister named Janine. I’m not sure what about the exchange in the beginning is supposed to tell us that Janine’s super smart but I’m guessing it’s the fact that she uses words that Claudia doesn’t understand. I call bullshit on that since I’m sure a portion of their charges do that and I know that most of those kids are just insane. Also, her family is super close since they eat breakfast together. Again, I’m calling bullshit. My mom and I have always been close but we could only eat breakfast together on weekends. Not everyone lives in the 50s, Miles! Lastly, we must already know how much she loves all things like photography.
I was totally going to skip the next part but I have to just say, what the hell, Claudia?
Other kids would do a little crayoning and then move on to playing with dolls or riding bikes. Me? I moved from crayoning to finger-painting to papier-mâché and then back to crayoning.
Crayoning is not a word, Claudia. Just say that you used to like coloring, don’t make up words. Your English teachers must hate you between the spelling, grammar, and making up of words.
Developing film is magic and makes Claudia feel like a wizard.
Her dad turned the bathroom between her and Janine’s rooms into a dark room. Like…all the time? I hope not or that must be really annoying.
Dub. The BSC is a dub, not a club apparently. Claudia must have been the one to type this book.
Claudia gets bitchy about Janine’s summer job saying she thought it’d be something interesting like teaching rats to go through a maze-and okay, I suppose for Claudia, sitting in front of a computer would get boring but whatever. No need to be all “I’d rather watch bread get stale.” I’m guessing she couldn’t say she’d rather watch paint dry because she actually does that for fun or something.
Darn it, Claudia, I was going to skip to chapter two and then we get an outfit description!
Staring back at me was a medium-height Japanese-American girl with almond-shaped eyes and long, black hair held back by a pink, star-shaped barrette. She wore a silky pink tank top with a man’s white shirt tied casually over it, white jeans, and flip-flops decorated with more pink stars.
Huh...that’s actually really tame and not bad. I’m wondering why on earth a 13 year old owns a silk tank top but, yeah, really tame. No crazy patterns, no sheep, no vegetables or anything! Wow.
The only other clothing mention in this chapter is Claudia making a note that her math teacher’s tie is gorgeous and so she should find that material to work with it. When she became a seamstress, I don’t know.
The chapter ends after Claudia’s day of...well, I don’t know what the hell she did, I skimmed it because it was the junk food talk and how she hates reading anything other than Nancy Drew books.
Anyway, Claudia gets home and Janine’s there and the way they emphasize you when Claudia asks “What are you doing here?” makes me think she said that in a completely snotty and bitchy tone. Um, she lives there, Claudia. You should know this.
Janine accidentally ruins Claudia’s negatives by opening the bathroom door while Claudia is trying to develop her film and I have to give Claudia points here because rather than snap at Janine, she can see how bad Janine feels and tells her it’s okay and then just makes a sign that says Darkroom in Use for the door.
Chapter Two:
Claudia decides to start this one off by giving us all a heart attack when she says that she’s finished all of her math homework by 5:20. What is this madness?!
Her negatives were pretty much ruined but Claudia says that she’ll just reshoot the whole roll and it won’t be any trouble. Apparently the film is from a fashion shoot that she and Stacey did and Claudia just knows that Stacey won’t mind posing for her again because she loved playing model. Is playing model like playing doctor? Because it sounds dirty.
The chapter two dump about each member is actually done slightly differently this time around - Claudia’s photography assignment is portraits so she decides to capture each member (I swear that phrase makes me think she’s going to lock them up) as they walk into her room so that you can see who they really are. After each picture description, we get all their character traits. The first to arrive is, of course, Kristy so after her description, we also get the spiel of how the BSC was created and talk of Kid-Kits.
My mind is then boggled because rather than continue with the info dump, we get actual dialogue and-oh, damn. Never mind. That dialogue was just an excuse to explain what office in the club that Claudia holds and then Claudia actually makes Kristy wait to continue talking because she hears the front door slam. I’m sure the Kishis love that these girls just walk in and slam the door shut behind them rather than, I don’t know, respecting that it’s not their house and closing the door quietly behind them.
Aw, there’s a missed opportunity for an outfit description. The most we know is that Stacey is wearing blue suede clogs and an up to the minute outfit. I’ve read what you and Stacey like to wear, Claudia and I’m sort of terrified to know but let’s move on.
Stacey has a glow in her picture according to Claudia because she has a boyfriend-this time it’s Robert and I actually didn’t read a lot of the later books but didn’t he cause all sorts of drama or something? Well, Claudia insists she’s happy for Stacey but also jealous because she wants a boyfriend-badly enough that she advertised for one in the personals column she runs in the school paper and I...oh, damn, Claudia, really? I can’t even. You’re thirteen! *facepalm* And why does your paper even have a personals column? Oh, right, because in Stoneybrook, being thirteen means you’re basically twenty-five.
Oh, drama question answered. Thanks, Claudia.
Then Stacey gets on the bed, smiles up at Claudia and declares that she and Claudia can be together now. Sadly, the last part is a lie but that would’ve made chapter two so very interesting. Diabetes talk and I imagine my brother and cousin would both slap around Miles and AMM for this bullshit since they both have diabetes and while they have to be careful and make sure they give themselves their insulin, they don’t go into a coma at the sight of M&Ms or whatever.
I swear I won’t go through each girl but I just have to point out that when Mary Anne arrives next, Claudia makes it a point to say that Mary Anne has a cool haircut and, damn, Kishi, make up your mind. You girls were total bitches when Mary Anne first got that hair cut. Yeesh.
Dawn’s gone, Shannon’s there, woo! I totally forgot that about this book!
Mallory and Jessi only get one paragraph combined when they enter and records are broken because Mallory’s description isn’t horrible. But, hey, we’re back on track with Jessi being black. And you know what that means for the BSC?
Oh, hey, subplot intro! Special project idea from Mary Anne and Kristy isn’t offended that Mary Anne just stole her character trait! Anyway, the Barretts really miss Dawn so they want to make her a book or something that’ll make her even more homesick for Stoneybrook and she’ll come home sooner. Damn it, Barretts! You’re killing me.
Also, Mary Anne has an “I miss Dawn” look that just makes me wonder if things were turning into a girl-on-girl version of a Life With Derek fic in that house when Dawn was still around.
End of chapter with Claudia taking her own picture in the mirror and deciding to title her project Portrait of the BSC with the subtitle of My Best Friends.
Chapter Three:
Babysitting chapter time! I’m reading this through a download so the way I can tell this is a notebook entry is that it’s a different font and bolded. But apparently it’s Mary Anne’s notebook entry and it’s only four lines long because Claudia says that the entry goes on and on and she wants to save us from Mary Anne’s gushing. Ha.
They’ve got an idea for the project for Dawn and it took ten kids and three sitters to think of this so I’m waiting for something epic like a music video and a light show and maybe a short film but I doubt any of those will be it. I guess I better actually read to find out.
Mary Anne’s sitting for the Barretts again and we get a round up of who they are and then also mention of Franklin DeWitt-Claudia assures us he’s not one of the founding fathers even though she thinks his name sounds like something she needs to know for a history test-and then says that Mrs. Barrett and Mr. DeWitt are getting serious and if they get married, the Brady Bunch is going to have nothing on the Barrett-DeWitt bunch.
Buddy acts like a pretty typical kid with a one track mind when he completely bypasses Mr. DeWitt to ask Mary Anne if she’s come up with any ideas for the Dawn project but Mary Anne is shocked and about to order him to say hello when Mrs. Barrett-gasps-beats her to it! Madness, I tell you, madness!
And holy crap, here we go. Mary Anne apparently later tells Claudia that Mrs. Barrett’s white dress made her think of weddings and so she had a tear in her eye as she watched them leave. I’m going to be drinking by the end of this, I just know it.
Didn’t Mary Anne just sit for the Barretts? Because I’m not sure how she doesn’t know that they have a turtle and a gerbil then. Especially since the Barretts apparently have all kinds of pets to make up for the fact that they had to give away Pow when they found out Marnie was allergic to the dog.
The reason this is even brought up is because they have to feed the pets before Mary Anne takes them to the Pikes where Mallory (that girl never gets a break, damn) and Claudia are babysitting. They’re hoping between all of them, they’ll come up with an idea for the Dawn project.
Enter the Pikes. Adam and Jordan are teasing Nicky, Byron is off somewhere and pining for Jeff Schafer, Vanessa’s writing and the other girls are playing with Pow.
Oh, wait, no Byron is apparently scaling the gutter to get a Frisbee off the roof while Mallory watches anxiously. Doesn’t this family own a ladder? One of the sitters should be on a freaking ladder and getting the Frisbee if they’re that desperate for it but they should just tell him to forget about it for now and have Mr. Pike climb off of Mrs. Pike to go get it.
They brainstorm ideas and Claudia’s is to have a plane fly over Dawn’s favorite beach with a banner telling her to come home. She manages to stun everyone into silence with that one.
I have no words.
A bazillion more ideas from singing telegrams to other plane-centered ideas are thrown around and then Claudia has the idea to do a book, A Day in the Life of Stoneybrook where they’ll set up the kids with cameras and make a book of photos for Dawn.
Once more we revisit Mary Anne’s sketchy relationship with Dawn when she teases her over the phone at the end of the chapter and then she calls Claudia so they can squee over it and over Sunday, which is when they’ll be taking pictures.
Chapter Four:
Claudia realizes that this project will take actual planning so they spend the rest of the week doing that-checking which kids will do it and rounding up cameras from various families. And they bust into the BSC treasury to buy film and “those new disposable cameras”.
OMG, this is driving me nuts. It’s like the fourth time that the word dub has been used instead of club. Then two lines later, it’s club again. How did this even get published with that many typos? I really hope this happened when transcribing this book to Word but with these, who knows?
Again with the tame outfit! Claudia, jeans and a Hard Rock Café shirt? That’s it? Since when has hard work ever stopped you from dressing in one of your, according to you, high fashion outfits? You dressed up to go sailing and were the most stylish one on the island! A little walking shouldn’t stop you!
Claudia continues to call the baseball diamond “the ballfield” and annoys the shit out of me every single time. She also considers stalking Janine and her boyfriend for pics even though Janine told her hell to the no but then remembers that she and the others have already scheduled the day down to the minute. Kristy is going to lose it when some kid makes them stop so he can go to the bathroom or something. My money’s on Jamie.
There’s chaos at the Krushers vs. Bashers game, we get mention of Bart and his most important role is that of Kristy’s beard boyfriend. There’s cheerleaders in the form of Charlotte, Vanessa, and Haley and Becca keeps trying to get them to make a pyramid but they’re laughing too hard to keep it up. Mallory, Jessi, and Mary Anne are already there and Mary Anne’s taken a roll and a half of Tigger, color me surprised. There is actually a cute story of Nicky trying to take a picture of Pow that morning but Pow kept getting up and following Nicky back to the camera and it just sounds like something that would actually happen. Aw, Nicky, you’re totally going to need to bribe Pow to sit still.
This chapter is mostly the BSC taking the kids around town to take pictures (bet that won’t become a major point at all) and Claudia quoting Mr. Geist again and explaining words like façade until she spots the old bank and becomes fascinated by the building. She takes picture after picture and runs out of film. Mary Anne takes pictures of Claudia taking pictures because she looks funny and when they finally leave to meet up with Stacey at the train station, Mary Anne and the kids ignore Claudia trying to explain that she wants to use those photos for a new project for class and just continue to make fun of her. Nice.
Then the club meets up at Claudia’s to discuss the pictures they all took throughout the day and Mary Anne tells everyone about the bank photos so that they all make fun of Claudia. No, literally. Yeah, Mary Anne’s the sensitive one. *rolls eyes*
And then the chapter ends with a brick to the face about those photos by Claudia saying that little did they know but the photos would become very, very important.
Chapter Five:
Seriously, Claudia and Stacey are going to hook up in the future if they haven’t already. The chapter starts with them waltzing together around the room, singing a song that goes “angel of mine, my heart is in your hands”, and then collapsing on her bed, laughing. But then Stacey kills the moment by bringing up Robert and Claudia hits her with a pillow and Kristy calls the meeting to order, making me realize that they’re doing this with an audience so when they hook up, they’re going to be the girls that go at it in the middle of the party, I’m sure.
Kristy turns off the radio and Claudia protests and I’m sure the world will end soon because Claudia is telling Kristy that she can’t do something. Apparently the radio’s playing an hour of Billy Blue and Claudia refuses to miss it. When Kristy asks who that is, Claudia and Stacey flip their shit and I agree. Come on, Kristy, everyone knows that Billy Blue is the alias that Ray uses in I Know What You Did Last Summer that makes Julie think he’s a psychotic hook-using killer.
Oh wait, no, he’s a singer. So much for that.
Either way, Kristy compromises and lets the radio stay on but makes Claudia turn it way down so that you can just barely hear it. Claudia and Stacey grin and mouth the words of a song called “Your Sweet Kiss” to each other.
Just make out already, girls.
Hello, main plot, how are you today? Billy Blue gets interrupted for a special bulletin and it turns out that there’s hundreds of thousands of dollars missing-Watson’s going to be pissed, I bet-and if anyone has any clues, to call a special number. Claudia is all freaked out about how that could be their money and Shannon, oh Shannon, she brings the logic and asks if Claudia has an account there and Claudia has to admit that, no, she doesn’t but she could have and then that money could’ve been hers. I’m flashing back to the Phantom Caller now. Get a grip, Claudia.
Oh, oh, oh though! Claudia points out that she took tons of pictures of the bank and maybe there’s a clue in one of those! Stacey says she’s been watching too many late night movies. Mary Anne points out that there’s a movie like that only the crime in the movie was a murder. Kristy brings the logic this time and says that while it could happen, they don’t even know when the robbery took place and it’d be a huge coincidence if it happened on Sunday.
Claudia ignores all of this and decides she’s going to develop that film that very night.
I hadn’t pointed it out but, wow, Miles makes it a point to go over the different steps of developing film and all of that step by step. I never noticed that back when I first read the book but I do a lot of skimming now when it happens.
Well, anyway, surprise! Nothing is in the pictures. Claudia’s pretty disappointed but goes to bed and then she’s mentally laughing her ass off at Kristy, Mary Anne, and Stacey because they show up as soon as summer school is over for Claudia to see if she actually did find anything in the pictures. Kristy is disappointed because she was hoping for a clue but Mary Anne is more curious about the age of the baby in the stroller that’s in one of the pictures and goodness, she’s trolling for new clients even through photographs, isn’t she? Stacey also makes a point of pointing out a man she thinks is a banker because of his old school banker’s watch.
I’m sure neither of those characters is going to come up ever again. At all.
And that's it for now but I'll try to get the next part up within the next few days! Who knows what crazy hi-jinks these girls will get involved in during the next few chapters?