#6 Kristy's Big Day - my favorite as a kid.
Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking.
Why can't Hannah (for that's my name) ever finish a damned book? The answer is I can, but...
Well, I'm a teenager. I'm very easily distracted. And today I was looking through stuff I still haven't unpacked from when we moved last year, and sitting right on top were a few BSC books.
I chose Kristy's Big Day to do, because I remember adoring the crap out of this book.
It's only number 6 in the series and has no ghostwriter acknowledgment, which means what, exactly? Did ANN write these? Is she just being lazy?
Also, my parents are always misplacing my stuff, which at the moment includes pretty much every book I haven't finished. It's there for a reason, guys! The desk isn't that small! >:U
I also have Mary Anne and Camp BSC, Dawn's Big Date, and a Super Special -- California Girls! lined up.
Well, the book starts out with Karen spinning the tale of crazy old Ben Brewer. Apparently, he was crazy and ate fried dandelions, and decided to haunt their attic. What. I'd advise that ghost to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, because if Karen isn't enough to deal with, soon Kristy's entire family will be moving in as well. She lists the pros and cons; the pros all have to do with Watson being rich. Haha. And the cons are that she's moving across town and that Watson can be a jerk sometimes. Take a look in the mirror, K-Ron! You're the one who guilts people about being 2 seconds late to a meeting.
Blah, blah, blah. Kristy doesn't say anything too terribly interesting. But while, they're having dinner, Charlie asks if he can have some of the wine, and this amusing bit of prose follows:
"When you reach the drinking age," replied Mom pleasantly, "then you may drink."
"But Mom, a year from now I'll be going to college. All the kids -- " Charlie stopped. Mom isn't too partial to any sentence that begins with "all the kids."
That made me laugh. Oh, Charlie, you devil. He looks as though he might sulk for a while.
Elizabeth and Watson have decided on the date for the wedding - the third Saturday in September. Jeez, couldn't you just say the date instead of making us all rummage around for a calendar? Not that it's relevant anymore (if it ever was), since it was in whatever year the BSCult is perpetually stuck in.
Andrew doesn't know what a wedding is, so Karen reminds him of the time she put on a long white dress and kissed Boo-Boo. What.
Watson reveals that Kristy is to be a part of the wedding. Kristy is all awed. She's like, "Really? Like in a long, fancy dress with flowers in my hair?"
Sam's all, "Bitch, please. When have you ever been interested in long, fancy dresses and flowers?"
K-Ron doesn't take offense to this, oddly. She just agrees to be the bridesmaid.
Andrew doesn't want to be in the wedding. Charlie is way too eager to give Elizabeth away. DM's the ringbearer. Karen is the flower girl.
I'm the one who's going to retch when I get to that part where she inevitably causes some drama.
Kristy starts out our chapter 2 with saying essentially that good news is usually followed by bad news.
Or, the wedding's all turned to shit and everyone's panicking. Elizabeth's company wants to send her to Europe at the time of the wedding, oh no! And to make matters worse, there's a buyer for their house who wants to move in by July fifteenth (it's June)! And for some reason, Stoneybrook law forbids moving in with someone before marriage (well. apparently, because they can't reschedule), so all in all, the wedding has to be in two and a half weeks. And they have to move after that.
Elizabeth flips a shit. Unsurprisingly.
Kristy and DM start bitching. And this part always confused me:
(David Michael is a champion whiner. Anybody who can turn a one syllable word into a two-syllable word is good -- very good.)
As a kid, I was like: hasn't anyone who ever whined at their parents done that? Mo-om! From me to like, some rich girl whose mother won't let her have a third pony or whatever, everyone whines that way.
But whatever. This is not a typical Chapter 2, obviously.
K-Ron is all depressed because she can move into Watson's, but it's all the way across the sky town and it's not adjacent to MA's window. She reveals her manipulative streak by saying "When [MA] and I had fights, I knew I could always get to her by pulling my window shade down." I ponder the fact that no one complained in those years that they were doing the flashlight thing: "Those kids are sending messages with their damned flashlight Morse Code again and it's keeping me awake, dammit!"
Kristy goes back downstairs and sees her mom sorting out the guest list. I go to the kitchen to heat up a Bagelful. Yum. Elizabeth gives foreshadowing by saying, "Hmm. A lot of these people are from out of state, and a lot of them have children."
Chapter 3, it seems, is our typical intro to the BSCult. AND OH MY GOD KRISTY IS LATE BY SIX MINUTES.
She reveals her creeper-ness by saying,
However, since the others were all there already, I took advantage of the situation to get a good, long look at them...
[Claudia] was wearing one of her usual outrageous outfits: a black leotard and skintight red pants under a white shirt that was so big it looked like a lab coat. Claudia's a wonderful artist and she had decorated the shirt herself, covering it with designs painted in acrylic. She'd also pinned her long, black hair at the sides with red clips.
Oh, god. Please tell me K-Ron doesn't mean skinny jeans. Wouldn't those be terribly uncomfortable with the leotard? :U
MA's hair is loose, and Kristy's like whoa 'cause Richard's really giving the girl some freedom, here! Stacey's got permed hair and Swatch accessories and looks like a 13-year-old Madonna. Seriously, that's what Kristy says.
Dawn
had the most amazing hair I've ever seen. It's straight and fine and hangs down past her waist, and it's so light I couldn't even call it blonde. It's the color of sunlight or bleached straw.
The hell? Bleached straw? They don't mention her California Girl-ness, though, and I'm pleased.
K-Ron gets a prank call from Sam with a Little Women reference. What? Sam's not that cultured!
Finally, she tells them about the wedding. Then she tells them about moving. No one but Mary Anne appears to care. She looks like she might cry. I'm surprised she isn't already bawling. Dawn hilariously can't get past the wedding part. She says, "You're going to be a bridesmaid, Kristy? Oh, you're so lucky!"
The phone rings, and instead of the usual catfight that goes on when this happens, Stacey lazily reaches over after a few seconds.
Turns out it's Dr. J needing a sitter for Charlotte, which MA takes.
Kristy lies about not telling them about the wedding sooner -- it wasn't because she hates the idea of her mom and Watson marrying, but because it "seemed so far off." MA looks at her skeptically.
Stacey wants to know about dresses. Typical. So K-Ron starts to tell them, but they get cut off by a phone call for a job we'll inevitably hear about later so let's not go into detail.
Kristy's dress will be a long gown, with short sleeves and a ribbon sash above her waist.
Mom says that'll make me look taller - and older.
They bounce around ideas for dress colors, because Elizabeth is fine with anything but Karen has to agree.
.. I'm only a teenager, and the last time I was at a wedding was a long damned time ago, so I have to ask -- isn't there usually more than one bridesmaid? Just wondering...
They finally decide on pale yellow. Kristy is wearing heels, and they're buying "special shoes that you can dye to match your dress."
Do those exist? Seriously? o____o
She says it's a week after schools ends.
Claudia sighs with joy and notes that summer is only a week and a half away.
The BSCult begins to discuss the Final Fling, which Stacey is unfamiliar with. MA immediately opts for not going. Claudia is, but she doesn't know with whom; Stacey says she's going with or without Pete Black and she thinks he likes Dorianne now; Kristy will go if Alan Gray asks her. Is Dorianne a different person than Dori? I hope not.
The Final Fling comes and goes. People go with other people. Dorianne makes faces at Pete and Stacey. Boring.
Kristy comes home and finds her mother sitting at the kitchen table looking hysterical. She tries to take a guess at what's happening, and it legitimately makes me laugh.
"Let me take a guess. The wedding's in five days and we're moving in two weeks."
"No," said Mom with another smile.
"The wedding's tomorrow and we're moving on Wednesday?"
"No."
"The wedding's in five minutes and we're moving tonight?"
It turns out that there's going to be a staggering amount of 14 kids running around Watson's during the day next week. Sam lets out a low whistle. I finish the breakfast of champions, ice cream (I've snarked this over a few days). |D
In a flash, a brilliant idea comes to Kristy. Not a Great Idea? B-but... the natural order of the universe is off now!
The BSCult can take care of the fourteen kids! And Elizabeth is willing to pay them... 600 dollars! Calm down, not each. But it's enough to make Sam jealous, even though he has a summer job at which he makes more than 3 dollars per hour.
DM gets an award. Yay. Sam & Kristy discuss moving. It's not as big of a deal for Sam, since all of his friends don't live in one concentrated area of the Brook. Kristy bizarrely wonders whether she could ask Watson for a VCR since she'll only be his stepdaughter.
Next day and chapter. Kristy calls an 'emergency' meeting. She tells them the news, and nothing happens; they all just stare at her until Claudia realizes that she could buy 120 bags of peppermints with $120. Wow, Claud. Or she could buy 300 packs of Twinkies, or 1200 Jawbreakers, or 400 packs of gum -- what does she mean, the kind that have like 5 sticks of gum in them? I think she must, because otherwise I'd shit a brick. Or 60 cartons of ice cream. Claud says she's never been able to hide ice cream in her room. Duh, MA, why even suggest that?
Mary Anne checks the record book and sees that Kristy & Stacey both have sitting jobs next week. Kristy is dismayed, until she realizes that adding two more kids to the mix wouldn't hurt, of course! Jamie's mom is enthusiastic, and Dr. J didn't need them anyway since her schedule changed.
Now they're making a list of kids. As a kid myself, that was always my favorite part -- the list, I mean, which we'll get to later. Since K-Ron doesn't know anything about Watson's friend's kids, who are coming too, she calls. Karen (ugh) answers. She describes some new Mary Janes that she got for the wedding. She goes on about Ben Brewer's ghost for a while, then finally lets Kristy talk to Watson.
The list:
Luke - 10
Ashley - 9
Emma - 8
DM - 7
Berk - 6
Karen - 6
Grace - 5
Katherine - 5
Andrew - 4
Peter - 3
Patrick - 3
Maura - 2
Beth - 1
Tony - 8 months.
And actually, I'll have to split this book up too. It'll be super long otherwise. xD
Why can't Hannah (for that's my name) ever finish a damned book? The answer is I can, but...
Well, I'm a teenager. I'm very easily distracted. And today I was looking through stuff I still haven't unpacked from when we moved last year, and sitting right on top were a few BSC books.
I chose Kristy's Big Day to do, because I remember adoring the crap out of this book.
It's only number 6 in the series and has no ghostwriter acknowledgment, which means what, exactly? Did ANN write these? Is she just being lazy?
Also, my parents are always misplacing my stuff, which at the moment includes pretty much every book I haven't finished. It's there for a reason, guys! The desk isn't that small! >:U
I also have Mary Anne and Camp BSC, Dawn's Big Date, and a Super Special -- California Girls! lined up.
Well, the book starts out with Karen spinning the tale of crazy old Ben Brewer. Apparently, he was crazy and ate fried dandelions, and decided to haunt their attic. What. I'd advise that ghost to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, because if Karen isn't enough to deal with, soon Kristy's entire family will be moving in as well. She lists the pros and cons; the pros all have to do with Watson being rich. Haha. And the cons are that she's moving across town and that Watson can be a jerk sometimes. Take a look in the mirror, K-Ron! You're the one who guilts people about being 2 seconds late to a meeting.
Blah, blah, blah. Kristy doesn't say anything too terribly interesting. But while, they're having dinner, Charlie asks if he can have some of the wine, and this amusing bit of prose follows:
"When you reach the drinking age," replied Mom pleasantly, "then you may drink."
"But Mom, a year from now I'll be going to college. All the kids -- " Charlie stopped. Mom isn't too partial to any sentence that begins with "all the kids."
That made me laugh. Oh, Charlie, you devil. He looks as though he might sulk for a while.
Elizabeth and Watson have decided on the date for the wedding - the third Saturday in September. Jeez, couldn't you just say the date instead of making us all rummage around for a calendar? Not that it's relevant anymore (if it ever was), since it was in whatever year the BSCult is perpetually stuck in.
Andrew doesn't know what a wedding is, so Karen reminds him of the time she put on a long white dress and kissed Boo-Boo. What.
Watson reveals that Kristy is to be a part of the wedding. Kristy is all awed. She's like, "Really? Like in a long, fancy dress with flowers in my hair?"
Sam's all, "Bitch, please. When have you ever been interested in long, fancy dresses and flowers?"
K-Ron doesn't take offense to this, oddly. She just agrees to be the bridesmaid.
Andrew doesn't want to be in the wedding. Charlie is way too eager to give Elizabeth away. DM's the ringbearer. Karen is the flower girl.
I'm the one who's going to retch when I get to that part where she inevitably causes some drama.
Kristy starts out our chapter 2 with saying essentially that good news is usually followed by bad news.
Or, the wedding's all turned to shit and everyone's panicking. Elizabeth's company wants to send her to Europe at the time of the wedding, oh no! And to make matters worse, there's a buyer for their house who wants to move in by July fifteenth (it's June)! And for some reason, Stoneybrook law forbids moving in with someone before marriage (well. apparently, because they can't reschedule), so all in all, the wedding has to be in two and a half weeks. And they have to move after that.
Elizabeth flips a shit. Unsurprisingly.
Kristy and DM start bitching. And this part always confused me:
(David Michael is a champion whiner. Anybody who can turn a one syllable word into a two-syllable word is good -- very good.)
As a kid, I was like: hasn't anyone who ever whined at their parents done that? Mo-om! From me to like, some rich girl whose mother won't let her have a third pony or whatever, everyone whines that way.
But whatever. This is not a typical Chapter 2, obviously.
K-Ron is all depressed because she can move into Watson's, but it's all the way across the sky town and it's not adjacent to MA's window. She reveals her manipulative streak by saying "When [MA] and I had fights, I knew I could always get to her by pulling my window shade down." I ponder the fact that no one complained in those years that they were doing the flashlight thing: "Those kids are sending messages with their damned flashlight Morse Code again and it's keeping me awake, dammit!"
Kristy goes back downstairs and sees her mom sorting out the guest list. I go to the kitchen to heat up a Bagelful. Yum. Elizabeth gives foreshadowing by saying, "Hmm. A lot of these people are from out of state, and a lot of them have children."
Chapter 3, it seems, is our typical intro to the BSCult. AND OH MY GOD KRISTY IS LATE BY SIX MINUTES.
She reveals her creeper-ness by saying,
However, since the others were all there already, I took advantage of the situation to get a good, long look at them...
[Claudia] was wearing one of her usual outrageous outfits: a black leotard and skintight red pants under a white shirt that was so big it looked like a lab coat. Claudia's a wonderful artist and she had decorated the shirt herself, covering it with designs painted in acrylic. She'd also pinned her long, black hair at the sides with red clips.
Oh, god. Please tell me K-Ron doesn't mean skinny jeans. Wouldn't those be terribly uncomfortable with the leotard? :U
MA's hair is loose, and Kristy's like whoa 'cause Richard's really giving the girl some freedom, here! Stacey's got permed hair and Swatch accessories and looks like a 13-year-old Madonna. Seriously, that's what Kristy says.
Dawn
had the most amazing hair I've ever seen. It's straight and fine and hangs down past her waist, and it's so light I couldn't even call it blonde. It's the color of sunlight or bleached straw.
The hell? Bleached straw? They don't mention her California Girl-ness, though, and I'm pleased.
K-Ron gets a prank call from Sam with a Little Women reference. What? Sam's not that cultured!
Finally, she tells them about the wedding. Then she tells them about moving. No one but Mary Anne appears to care. She looks like she might cry. I'm surprised she isn't already bawling. Dawn hilariously can't get past the wedding part. She says, "You're going to be a bridesmaid, Kristy? Oh, you're so lucky!"
The phone rings, and instead of the usual catfight that goes on when this happens, Stacey lazily reaches over after a few seconds.
Turns out it's Dr. J needing a sitter for Charlotte, which MA takes.
Kristy lies about not telling them about the wedding sooner -- it wasn't because she hates the idea of her mom and Watson marrying, but because it "seemed so far off." MA looks at her skeptically.
Stacey wants to know about dresses. Typical. So K-Ron starts to tell them, but they get cut off by a phone call for a job we'll inevitably hear about later so let's not go into detail.
Kristy's dress will be a long gown, with short sleeves and a ribbon sash above her waist.
Mom says that'll make me look taller - and older.
They bounce around ideas for dress colors, because Elizabeth is fine with anything but Karen has to agree.
.. I'm only a teenager, and the last time I was at a wedding was a long damned time ago, so I have to ask -- isn't there usually more than one bridesmaid? Just wondering...
They finally decide on pale yellow. Kristy is wearing heels, and they're buying "special shoes that you can dye to match your dress."
Do those exist? Seriously? o____o
She says it's a week after schools ends.
Claudia sighs with joy and notes that summer is only a week and a half away.
The BSCult begins to discuss the Final Fling, which Stacey is unfamiliar with. MA immediately opts for not going. Claudia is, but she doesn't know with whom; Stacey says she's going with or without Pete Black and she thinks he likes Dorianne now; Kristy will go if Alan Gray asks her. Is Dorianne a different person than Dori? I hope not.
The Final Fling comes and goes. People go with other people. Dorianne makes faces at Pete and Stacey. Boring.
Kristy comes home and finds her mother sitting at the kitchen table looking hysterical. She tries to take a guess at what's happening, and it legitimately makes me laugh.
"Let me take a guess. The wedding's in five days and we're moving in two weeks."
"No," said Mom with another smile.
"The wedding's tomorrow and we're moving on Wednesday?"
"No."
"The wedding's in five minutes and we're moving tonight?"
It turns out that there's going to be a staggering amount of 14 kids running around Watson's during the day next week. Sam lets out a low whistle. I finish the breakfast of champions, ice cream (I've snarked this over a few days). |D
In a flash, a brilliant idea comes to Kristy. Not a Great Idea? B-but... the natural order of the universe is off now!
The BSCult can take care of the fourteen kids! And Elizabeth is willing to pay them... 600 dollars! Calm down, not each. But it's enough to make Sam jealous, even though he has a summer job at which he makes more than 3 dollars per hour.
DM gets an award. Yay. Sam & Kristy discuss moving. It's not as big of a deal for Sam, since all of his friends don't live in one concentrated area of the Brook. Kristy bizarrely wonders whether she could ask Watson for a VCR since she'll only be his stepdaughter.
Next day and chapter. Kristy calls an 'emergency' meeting. She tells them the news, and nothing happens; they all just stare at her until Claudia realizes that she could buy 120 bags of peppermints with $120. Wow, Claud. Or she could buy 300 packs of Twinkies, or 1200 Jawbreakers, or 400 packs of gum -- what does she mean, the kind that have like 5 sticks of gum in them? I think she must, because otherwise I'd shit a brick. Or 60 cartons of ice cream. Claud says she's never been able to hide ice cream in her room. Duh, MA, why even suggest that?
Mary Anne checks the record book and sees that Kristy & Stacey both have sitting jobs next week. Kristy is dismayed, until she realizes that adding two more kids to the mix wouldn't hurt, of course! Jamie's mom is enthusiastic, and Dr. J didn't need them anyway since her schedule changed.
Now they're making a list of kids. As a kid myself, that was always my favorite part -- the list, I mean, which we'll get to later. Since K-Ron doesn't know anything about Watson's friend's kids, who are coming too, she calls. Karen (ugh) answers. She describes some new Mary Janes that she got for the wedding. She goes on about Ben Brewer's ghost for a while, then finally lets Kristy talk to Watson.
The list:
Luke - 10
Ashley - 9
Emma - 8
DM - 7
Berk - 6
Karen - 6
Grace - 5
Katherine - 5
Andrew - 4
Peter - 3
Patrick - 3
Maura - 2
Beth - 1
Tony - 8 months.
And actually, I'll have to split this book up too. It'll be super long otherwise. xD