About time i had one that wasn't friends only, eh?
Just been trying to keep semi-busy and my mind off the 2 of them. But no matter how busy I am, I inevitably have plenty of time to think about them and what I'm doing w/my life and where i'm going. I did more things yesterday than I normally do in a week. Weirdness. I even volunteered for a promotions and advertising committee with the marketing club i'm in cuz i actually went to a meeting yesterday. Been watching noah and just trying to pass time with people around here. I've also been calling bestfriend pretty much every other day. I feel bad and good all at the same time cuz its nice to let everything off my chest but I don't really know if he wants to hear it. Well, i'm sure he doesn't "want" to hear it, but I dunno, he says its ok and that he doesn't mind. Guess thats what bestfriends are for, right? LOL
Erick is moving back on friday. I never thought I'd say this but I actually missed him. I guess it just took him being away for a long time to make me realize it. I know we'll never be as close as we were, but regardless i'm glad he'll be back ... even if he isn't my fake gay boyfriend anymore LOL
I dunno, i'm kind of just in a very hazy phase of my life right now. I'm the kind of person that always wants to know whats going on and whats going to happen so I play out these scenarios in my head and make all these plans for my life, when really they never work out that way. At the same time, i've been more spontaneous when it comes to alot of things than I've ever been. It been fun being spontaneous but I also think its been the cause of some of these not so great experiences at the same time. I've gotta find that balance. To quote John Lennon, "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans" How true is that ...
I've also been listening to the same song on repeat for days and days and days. I've had it on my comp for a long time, but I just refound it. I'm not really sure why I'm so attached to it right now because it doesn't really apply to anyone in particular, but I guess it just represents how I am in general with someone I love. And I miss that feeling, I miss being able to give everything I am to a person and knowing that I have them in return.
Pin this one last
because it was the hardest
Yet it meant the most to me at the same time
Feelings are tough to explain
when what i feel is bigger than any word that i can find
So i wrote you this song
To tell you i love you
But I know that thats much less than you deserve
It's all so much less
Then these feelings i'm feeling
I hope my actions speak louder than words
Call me whenever, and i will come running
I'm ready and waiting for ever for you
I'll give you my whole heart
To hold as your keepsake
If you should ever need proof
Remembering the times that we spent together
I know how good it feels to be in your arms
Im always so happy and filled up with laughter
when ever i'm with you i feel safe and warm