(no subject)
sometimes i notice how many ideas i've lost. and sometimes that's particularly hard to take.
it bitterly cold here tonight, not in the sense that four below is the worst it could be, but in how it makes everything tense and hard and horrible. i crawled out of bed because my battery ran out, and the rest of the house is just a bit shivery--we need to seal the windows.
i don't write enough. that seems to be a never ending thing with me. i looked back to the past three decembers tonight, just glanced. and i'm always promising to be better about things. and i'm never sure i am. life is life i suppose.
i'm still not used to being someone that knows things, that has answers. and it's tiring sometimes. most days it seems. and i can't tell if it's really that or only that i caught the cold going around just as i was starting to feel better from everything else. or maybe that we're still not really unpacked and i haven't had a real day to myself in more than three weeks. these things aren't bad, they just are.
and maybe i'll look back on this in a year or two or three and remember how happy i was or how miserable or think how my energy level has changed. or think something i haven't thought to think of yet.
there are always these moments that shape the future. and we never know them when we see them. when they happen. when we live them. hardly ever do we know them once the future's past.
i don't babble enough anymore. i think that's something i need to re-encourage in myself. because how can you be yourself when you don't know who that is.
it bitterly cold here tonight, not in the sense that four below is the worst it could be, but in how it makes everything tense and hard and horrible. i crawled out of bed because my battery ran out, and the rest of the house is just a bit shivery--we need to seal the windows.
i don't write enough. that seems to be a never ending thing with me. i looked back to the past three decembers tonight, just glanced. and i'm always promising to be better about things. and i'm never sure i am. life is life i suppose.
i'm still not used to being someone that knows things, that has answers. and it's tiring sometimes. most days it seems. and i can't tell if it's really that or only that i caught the cold going around just as i was starting to feel better from everything else. or maybe that we're still not really unpacked and i haven't had a real day to myself in more than three weeks. these things aren't bad, they just are.
and maybe i'll look back on this in a year or two or three and remember how happy i was or how miserable or think how my energy level has changed. or think something i haven't thought to think of yet.
there are always these moments that shape the future. and we never know them when we see them. when they happen. when we live them. hardly ever do we know them once the future's past.
i don't babble enough anymore. i think that's something i need to re-encourage in myself. because how can you be yourself when you don't know who that is.