i've never felt this bad, ever.
This morning I found out that I would never see one of my close friends again. It is unreal. Adam Carter passed away sometime this morning. I met him freshman year, when he began dating my friend Amy. We kept in touch throughout college, but this semester we started to get really close. It started when I came to visit for Katie's birthday and went over to his house to see his yellow lab puppy, Boone. From that point on really, we started hanging out a lot. We went out to dinner, we went to his favorite place downtown- the Knoxville Cigar Company, he went with me on a midnight walmart run just because i couldn't find my hairbrush, we went to the lake one time, and of course, the nightly reunions at Coolbeans. "Hellllooo gorgeous....what are you doin?" he would say when he answered the phone. Everytime (although sometimes it would be beautiful, or darling, but it was always sincere and always with that sweet southern accent that i will never forget.) There were those times that he would call me at 3 in the morning and come snuggle with me, stinking of beer and cigarrettes. I would fuss at him- telling him that those cigarettes were going to kill him and they made him smell bad. But what I would give for just one more late night snuggle. The sweet little text messages at work at 8 in the morning because he knew i was the only one of his friends that was up that early.
A few weeks ago, Amanda and I were just randomly talkign about him, and we both agreed that he is just one of those guys that makes you feel so good inside, just by being around him.
I took him to my formal last weekend, and we both agreed that it was the BEST date party either of us had ever been to. We danced for 4 hours straight, being stupid and crazy and just having such a good time. And the whole time agreeing that the dj needed to play a good Frank or Dean hit. When we got back on the bus, we got a standing ovation for our mad dance skills. He had already asked me to go to his formal with him.
I really did love him. He was such a wonderful person, with strong character, a true love for his mama, and never one to turn down a good time. As much as I am hurting right now, I still would rather be bawling like this than to never have known him at all. You know, the joy that he filled me with....those cute little dimples.....how much he loved Boone- he said he was just like his daddy, short and stocky. He was such a good good good friend....the kind that would do anything for anyone. The kind of guy who follows every rule in the southern gentleman's handbook, but in a way that was not pretentious or annoying at all.
I just can't explain it. I really don't want to believe it. Like Shannon said earlier today.... it is so hard because we were really close. And we were getting closer....
He called me yesterday at 4:30 to see what I was doing. I said after work I was going to the basketball game, and he told me he'd be going to chili's or somewhere else. He was sick and wanted to drink - it was the weekend, and he wanted to forget about his headache and cold. He texted me during the basketball game. Then he called me around 1 am- from Amanda's phone. She ran into him at Coolbeans and he asked where I was. He said his phone was dead, so Amanda gave him her phone to call me. He sounded so sick, so congested, but I couldn't really tell if he was drunk or not. Well apparently, he was extremely intoxicated. After last call, he took beeper back to the fraternity house. From there, he got in his car with his roommate Dane to drive home. On the way home, on a dark windy road, he hit a tree and was killed instantly. Dane only had to get stitches.
I feel so bad for his family. The funeral is Tuesday in Huntingdon and Amanda and I are going together. I'll be home after that. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this. I never really believed the saying "Only the good die young," but now I have proof. The memory of a friend. Adam, I miss you buddy.