...how do i live with out you, i want to know..

[brwneyedangel46]

so legit, everything ive done and been doing in order to get my car. has failed. i went today with my dad and filled out a loan with a cosigner. called my old insurance, which i still owe 192 so i gotta send that out as soon as i get it. hopefully tonight will be busy enough, and im closing so i should have a good amount i guess. so then i called the insurance company my rents go to...bad news. i guess my last insurance was canceled for non payment. so that means if i wanna be insured anywhere for car insurance i have to pay the whole year in full. which is over 3Gs how the fuck am i gonna do that. right now i feel like...everything ive been paying off in order for me to get everything back to normal is just worthless bcuz im just gettin pushed back deeper and deeper.

and im feelin so depressed bout jon. i dont kno why. we're still friends. we're slowly worken things out, i just feel like..im still so dead and empty inside. im not the same girl i was. im not happy. its all fake and junk. i mean. tell me..plz someone tell me that it doesnt mean anything when my heart jumps and i get goosebumps when i see him sign online. when i see his goddamn screen name i get all excited...DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN SOMETHING? i cant breathe when i think of him becuz i get so overwhelmed with this feeling that ive never had b4..thats nothing right? i dont fucken kno. im just in a really bad mood right now.

. i dont kno anymore .