..and i will always love you..
so wats up ppl. last night was so friggan dead u wouldnt even believe. but i dunno wasnt too bad. worked with good ppl. Rob gave me a ride home. we were talken bout driving and i said i wnted to learn how to drive a standard. his cars a standard so he taught me. i did so good. we started off in the parkinglot and then he took me on the st...that was kinda scary. but i did good then i drove all the way to his house. woohoo im soo good. lol. i came home and went to bed..mm hmm i slept shitty. i havent realy gotten a good night sleep for the past week now. worken tonight and then i dunno.
its been a week since jon and i havent been together. and its been the longest week ive ever been thru in my entire life. i talked to him yesterday and the convo didnt really go where i was hopen it would. he basically told me that the reason why we're not together is cuz im sneaky and shady and he cant deal with not being trusted and all this shit and that i should call him in a couple of weeks and we can work some friendship out and that if its meant to be then we'll be together again.
well fine watever...but he said i always ask scott and jeff where he is. i havent talked to jeff in quite sometime. cept for when he asked me where jon was and i said i wasnt sure, that he was lifting or something and he said o ok thanx. yes i have talked to scott abuot jon in the past week, but thats bout it, nothing b4 that. but hey im lying right. cuz im a huge lier. and yea i called from my number but blocked it...and hung up...and denied it...but wat am i sposed to do when my bf is ignoring me? FOR NO REASON! i went on his sn a couple of months ago for 2 seconds..im not sure why i did, its just a bad habit of yea..lack of trust from my last relationship. but u kno...i havent tried anything like that since then. i promised myself i wouldnt be like my xbf and go thru his fone and do stuff liek that. and i havent gone thru his fone..but u kno...u need to give a lil to get a lil. show me i can trust u and i will. dont lie to me bout tryin to call me when u dont, dont tell me ur goin one place when ur not. i ask for the truth and i shall return the truth. and certainly dont tell me im doint watever with whoever when im with u. i have never cheated on u and i never will. its wrong, i kno wat it feels like to be cheated on and its definitely not a good feeling. besides, i have no attraction to anyone besides urself so tell ur "sources" to fuck off. most of all i cant believe u would think i would do something like that. i dont even have time to cheat. im with u, working or with danielle. yay...thats alot of free time to sit around meet someone new and plan shit. like u said to me, if i was gonna cheat on u, id break up with u first. there u go. but u kno wat, its all over and done with, i trust u, u cant believe that. i dont kno wat to do to prove it to u. i would love for us to get back together and start over and i would love to prove to u that im NOT sneaky im NOT shady and i can definitely trust u, i can definitely not lie to u...but all i need is that chance... that one...chance..
"steph if its meant to be, we will be togather again"