NYE/Finishing the year
Meme of the month first:
29 Would you rather your life have a rewind button or a pause button?
I don't want either. Rewind would be awful unless you could change things, and how would you possibly know what would end up better? I get anxious waiting, so a pause button seems like a poor choice.
30 If you could change one bad habit you have, what would it be?
Overthinking before acting. Sigh.
31 Do you prefer beginnings or endings?
I don't much like either. Beginnings are scary, but endings are sad. I quite like the parts of life that go on. I am, at heart, a Maintainer. All hail the maintainers, who get shit done while other people create and emote.
There's a year end meme under the cut, which is inevitably pre-2020 in flavour. But let's reflect:
What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?
Zoom. Running a webinar. Remote lecturing. Running an online cookery community. Attending live theatre online. Allll the onlines.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, weirdly enough - I, uh, resolved to spend more time at home, especially in the evenings. And boy, howdy.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not super close, but two of my yoga teachers (both well) and a colleague, whose son died at 3 days in the midst of first lockdown. Which was awful in so many ways, but at my level of distance from her it was the ripple of shocked sadness through the wider group which affected me. We raised £750 for SIDS research in his memory, which is one of my proudest moments this year.
Did anyone close to you die?
No. But there has been a lot of very poor health.
What countries did you visit?
None. The first time as a working adult that I didn't go abroad. Possibly even longer as I did a fair bit as a student.
What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
Space. Variety. Touch.
What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
18 March. My last day in the office. (I had one more in October but I already knew by then I wouldn't be back much.)
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping an online community together - we've really helped one another through this, and been pretty honest about how we're doing, which has been massive.
What was your biggest failure?
Well, I had one of our partners ring me up to warn me she thought a major piece of work I'd done was "really bad"... I've had better days. At least she did warn me before the meeting where it was meant to be signed off. We'll get back to it next year.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a storming cold for the middle of February, but I haven't got near anyone since to catch anything. Thankfully no injuries; I'm a bit terrified of going over on my bad ankle - so much this year has depended on me being able to walk decent distances.
What was the best thing you bought?
So many things in my lockdown panics - an electric blanket, a mattress topper, quite a lot of Campari, many yellow things (a lamp, a blanket, a jumper) which have cheered my otherwise functional flat.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Anyone who had to keep going to work in a public facing role through this terrifying year. Not just in health, I think people working in supermarkets and delivery have been total heroes.
Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I am contractually forbidden from answering that. But also, Dominic Cummings.
Where did most of your money go?
Mitigating the lockdown: my former travelcard cash goes on flower deliveries. Wine. Theatre. Lots of charity donations. Gifts and daft things for friends to cheer them up. And my equivalent of holidays - Courtauld art courses, all online.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Courtauld stuff was great. My three nights in Bath in September were pretty goddamn exciting in the context.
What song will always remind you of 2020?
Almost any podcast theme you care to mention. Drunk Women Solving Crime, maybe? I saw them live! Online, but still, live!
Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? ii. thinner or fatter? iii. richer or poorer?
Much sadder (that's the contextual poor health situation, which can only get worse). Slightly fatter but not too bad - I've stuck much more to healthy eating and regular exercise this year than ever before. About the same for cash - unlike many people I have found plenty to spend money on and I've been desperately trying to give to/spend on things I want to survive the pandemic.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Travelling and seeing people. I was sensible in context, I don't think I *should* have done more, even seeing the boyf which I have longed to do so often, but it would have been a much happier year. I also wish I'd read more. My concentration has been shot, and some things I'd assumed I could do this quiet year haven't happened.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Doomscrolling. Worrying while staring into space. Crying.
How did you spend Christmas?
Cooking and trying to sort out caring needs for my parents. And everything in the answer above.
What LJ users did you meet?
I'm 99% sure I didn't see any of you in Jan/Feb did I? Clearly, no one since...
Did you fall in love in 2020?
No, but we're just about making it work despite now being officially in two separate bubbles. Fucking covid.
How many one-night stands?
None. Though the extremely brief window we managed for my birthday between lockdown and Tier 4 did feel a bit like that. Keeping the flame alive: pandemic style!
What were your favourite TV programmes?
I May Destroy You, Normal People, the Repair Shop. And House of Games, which is so daft it has been my relaxation betweek work and 'home' every night.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. But I have struggled with some people's judgemental attitudes, and other people's carelessness. And I'm very pissed off with next door over something trivial, sigh. This is a year when it's been so easy to be touchy and not give people the benefit of the doubt.
What was the best book you read?
As above, I've struggled with reading. I loved the book Normal People (after loathing its predecessor); and enjoyed Daisy Jones and the Six a whole lot. Currently reading A Pacifist's War, which is Frances Partridge's diaries. Fascinating stuff. Honestly though, I read pretty much the whole of KJ Charles in September, and I regret nothing.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Showstoppers the Musical - who knew musical improv was a thing?
What did you want and get?
Replacement tech (I did my laptop, phone and tablet in early lockdown). Lots of wine.
What did you want and not get?
Travel, company, space, live theatre blah blah. I would have liked to get a big shallow ovenproof casserole and have totally failed to find one that works for me. That is surely resolvable.
What was your favourite film of this year?
Probably David Copperfield, though I think I saw Little Women this year and I loved that too.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 45 and I spent it almost entirely in bed with the boyf aside from when we got a serious food delivery.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being allowed to be part of two bubbles. I know it doesn't work with transmission.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Relaxed. Or more specifically, leggings.
What kept you sane?
Online everything, especially live online stuff. Yoga (I've been doing it about 8 times in an average week). Friends who walk miles to stand in a park for an hour till we all need a wee and have to walk miles to go home (did that today, 7.75 miles in total for me, for 55 minutes in Wandsworth with an admittedly delayed friend. Still totally worth it). All the podcasts.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm watching the Last Leg and finding Adam Hills damn good at the moment. Though also, everyone in Normal People, though I'm far too old for that.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Brexit. 27 minutes till it's all over. And that's all I can say.
Who did you miss?
Bloody everyone. But especially people I hug.
Who was the best new person you met?
Not new, but my friend qualifying as a yoga teacher has become a much closer friend this year, which is awesome. I also picked up several new buddies on twitter who have been great.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020?
You're more resilient than you think, but society is also more connected than you think.
29 Would you rather your life have a rewind button or a pause button?
I don't want either. Rewind would be awful unless you could change things, and how would you possibly know what would end up better? I get anxious waiting, so a pause button seems like a poor choice.
30 If you could change one bad habit you have, what would it be?
Overthinking before acting. Sigh.
31 Do you prefer beginnings or endings?
I don't much like either. Beginnings are scary, but endings are sad. I quite like the parts of life that go on. I am, at heart, a Maintainer. All hail the maintainers, who get shit done while other people create and emote.
There's a year end meme under the cut, which is inevitably pre-2020 in flavour. But let's reflect:
What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?
Zoom. Running a webinar. Remote lecturing. Running an online cookery community. Attending live theatre online. Allll the onlines.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, weirdly enough - I, uh, resolved to spend more time at home, especially in the evenings. And boy, howdy.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not super close, but two of my yoga teachers (both well) and a colleague, whose son died at 3 days in the midst of first lockdown. Which was awful in so many ways, but at my level of distance from her it was the ripple of shocked sadness through the wider group which affected me. We raised £750 for SIDS research in his memory, which is one of my proudest moments this year.
Did anyone close to you die?
No. But there has been a lot of very poor health.
What countries did you visit?
None. The first time as a working adult that I didn't go abroad. Possibly even longer as I did a fair bit as a student.
What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
Space. Variety. Touch.
What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
18 March. My last day in the office. (I had one more in October but I already knew by then I wouldn't be back much.)
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping an online community together - we've really helped one another through this, and been pretty honest about how we're doing, which has been massive.
What was your biggest failure?
Well, I had one of our partners ring me up to warn me she thought a major piece of work I'd done was "really bad"... I've had better days. At least she did warn me before the meeting where it was meant to be signed off. We'll get back to it next year.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a storming cold for the middle of February, but I haven't got near anyone since to catch anything. Thankfully no injuries; I'm a bit terrified of going over on my bad ankle - so much this year has depended on me being able to walk decent distances.
What was the best thing you bought?
So many things in my lockdown panics - an electric blanket, a mattress topper, quite a lot of Campari, many yellow things (a lamp, a blanket, a jumper) which have cheered my otherwise functional flat.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Anyone who had to keep going to work in a public facing role through this terrifying year. Not just in health, I think people working in supermarkets and delivery have been total heroes.
Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I am contractually forbidden from answering that. But also, Dominic Cummings.
Where did most of your money go?
Mitigating the lockdown: my former travelcard cash goes on flower deliveries. Wine. Theatre. Lots of charity donations. Gifts and daft things for friends to cheer them up. And my equivalent of holidays - Courtauld art courses, all online.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Courtauld stuff was great. My three nights in Bath in September were pretty goddamn exciting in the context.
What song will always remind you of 2020?
Almost any podcast theme you care to mention. Drunk Women Solving Crime, maybe? I saw them live! Online, but still, live!
Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? ii. thinner or fatter? iii. richer or poorer?
Much sadder (that's the contextual poor health situation, which can only get worse). Slightly fatter but not too bad - I've stuck much more to healthy eating and regular exercise this year than ever before. About the same for cash - unlike many people I have found plenty to spend money on and I've been desperately trying to give to/spend on things I want to survive the pandemic.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Travelling and seeing people. I was sensible in context, I don't think I *should* have done more, even seeing the boyf which I have longed to do so often, but it would have been a much happier year. I also wish I'd read more. My concentration has been shot, and some things I'd assumed I could do this quiet year haven't happened.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Doomscrolling. Worrying while staring into space. Crying.
How did you spend Christmas?
Cooking and trying to sort out caring needs for my parents. And everything in the answer above.
What LJ users did you meet?
I'm 99% sure I didn't see any of you in Jan/Feb did I? Clearly, no one since...
Did you fall in love in 2020?
No, but we're just about making it work despite now being officially in two separate bubbles. Fucking covid.
How many one-night stands?
None. Though the extremely brief window we managed for my birthday between lockdown and Tier 4 did feel a bit like that. Keeping the flame alive: pandemic style!
What were your favourite TV programmes?
I May Destroy You, Normal People, the Repair Shop. And House of Games, which is so daft it has been my relaxation betweek work and 'home' every night.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. But I have struggled with some people's judgemental attitudes, and other people's carelessness. And I'm very pissed off with next door over something trivial, sigh. This is a year when it's been so easy to be touchy and not give people the benefit of the doubt.
What was the best book you read?
As above, I've struggled with reading. I loved the book Normal People (after loathing its predecessor); and enjoyed Daisy Jones and the Six a whole lot. Currently reading A Pacifist's War, which is Frances Partridge's diaries. Fascinating stuff. Honestly though, I read pretty much the whole of KJ Charles in September, and I regret nothing.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Showstoppers the Musical - who knew musical improv was a thing?
What did you want and get?
Replacement tech (I did my laptop, phone and tablet in early lockdown). Lots of wine.
What did you want and not get?
Travel, company, space, live theatre blah blah. I would have liked to get a big shallow ovenproof casserole and have totally failed to find one that works for me. That is surely resolvable.
What was your favourite film of this year?
Probably David Copperfield, though I think I saw Little Women this year and I loved that too.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 45 and I spent it almost entirely in bed with the boyf aside from when we got a serious food delivery.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being allowed to be part of two bubbles. I know it doesn't work with transmission.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Relaxed. Or more specifically, leggings.
What kept you sane?
Online everything, especially live online stuff. Yoga (I've been doing it about 8 times in an average week). Friends who walk miles to stand in a park for an hour till we all need a wee and have to walk miles to go home (did that today, 7.75 miles in total for me, for 55 minutes in Wandsworth with an admittedly delayed friend. Still totally worth it). All the podcasts.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm watching the Last Leg and finding Adam Hills damn good at the moment. Though also, everyone in Normal People, though I'm far too old for that.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Brexit. 27 minutes till it's all over. And that's all I can say.
Who did you miss?
Bloody everyone. But especially people I hug.
Who was the best new person you met?
Not new, but my friend qualifying as a yoga teacher has become a much closer friend this year, which is awesome. I also picked up several new buddies on twitter who have been great.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020?
You're more resilient than you think, but society is also more connected than you think.