(no subject)
i'llput the poetry at the beginning, so that if you want, you can just read that then ignore everything else. which is ok, i won't mind in the slightest.
don't stare like that
but don't look like that
don't look away
eyes follow pale limbs
flushed face with it's gasping mouth
exploring hands
demanding mouth
and always those painfully bright eyes
falling into those arms
is it some myth made flesh?
a hidden treasure of limitless worth
erupting with rainbows
skin spilling golden light and unearthly visions
a stranded angel writhing and trapped
wings shorn by choice and circumstance
bound by that gaze those lips and hands
a creature not of this dimension
of a place and time lost and forgotten
born again through shatterings and hardships
to be cherished then scorned
is that what they see?
bringing joy then ripping it away
unaware of the bleeding heart in their hands
the angel never speaks
the creature never tells
falling back into the depths of it's origin
broken, it waits
waits to be found again
-----------------------------------------------------------
this weekend was the singularly weirdest time of my life.
i went to knuckle up, and it was fun as hell. pictures soon to
come. and as always, i must do the highlights of the night.
-the bathroom at god's. it was AWESOME.
-doing the ninja turtle dance with wolfie to "tequila"
-my random myspace encounter. YOU RULE SAL!!!
-being quite wasterded, on barely anything.
-seeing teh dan! YEAH, I MISSED YOU!!!
-chillin' with my sidekick. "did that guy just jump out of the wall????"
-cheeseburger....thats all. just....yeah. cheeseburger. hahahaha!
-"you dropped your pocket"
-"let's dropkick a goose into a lake!"
-that fucking INSANE trip to south street.
-i found out that andy is a fucking AWESOME cracked out buddy.
it was an interesting night, but also slightly sad. i really couldn't go into all of it, but lets just say i'm totally alone now. i've pretty much just got my friends and that's it. and even them, i don't know how close i'm willing to let them be at the moment.
things have cleaned themselves up. mostly everything is resolved, and after today, at least finals will be over.
but i'm still quite lost. i'm sad, and depressed as hell, but not because of anything in particular.
i'm missing idaho a whole fucking lot right now. especially my scumby. oh god, it's so hard, and i haven't talked tohim in weeks. i suppose i should just keep calling him until he answers, but... for some odd reason, i'm scared. ever since he told me that he wished i could get over him, i don't know what to think. i'm afraid to tell him how much i miss him and want him with me, because i don't think he wants the same thing.
there isn't much more to say. i feel frozen inside, as if i swallowed liquid nitrogen. i just don't know how to be, how to act. what is it about me that makes people turn away? i should just stop letting them in.
don't stare like that
but don't look like that
don't look away
eyes follow pale limbs
flushed face with it's gasping mouth
exploring hands
demanding mouth
and always those painfully bright eyes
falling into those arms
is it some myth made flesh?
a hidden treasure of limitless worth
erupting with rainbows
skin spilling golden light and unearthly visions
a stranded angel writhing and trapped
wings shorn by choice and circumstance
bound by that gaze those lips and hands
a creature not of this dimension
of a place and time lost and forgotten
born again through shatterings and hardships
to be cherished then scorned
is that what they see?
bringing joy then ripping it away
unaware of the bleeding heart in their hands
the angel never speaks
the creature never tells
falling back into the depths of it's origin
broken, it waits
waits to be found again
-----------------------------------------------------------
this weekend was the singularly weirdest time of my life.
i went to knuckle up, and it was fun as hell. pictures soon to
come. and as always, i must do the highlights of the night.
-the bathroom at god's. it was AWESOME.
-doing the ninja turtle dance with wolfie to "tequila"
-my random myspace encounter. YOU RULE SAL!!!
-being quite wasterded, on barely anything.
-seeing teh dan! YEAH, I MISSED YOU!!!
-chillin' with my sidekick. "did that guy just jump out of the wall????"
-cheeseburger....thats all. just....yeah. cheeseburger. hahahaha!
-"you dropped your pocket"
-"let's dropkick a goose into a lake!"
-that fucking INSANE trip to south street.
-i found out that andy is a fucking AWESOME cracked out buddy.
it was an interesting night, but also slightly sad. i really couldn't go into all of it, but lets just say i'm totally alone now. i've pretty much just got my friends and that's it. and even them, i don't know how close i'm willing to let them be at the moment.
things have cleaned themselves up. mostly everything is resolved, and after today, at least finals will be over.
but i'm still quite lost. i'm sad, and depressed as hell, but not because of anything in particular.
i'm missing idaho a whole fucking lot right now. especially my scumby. oh god, it's so hard, and i haven't talked tohim in weeks. i suppose i should just keep calling him until he answers, but... for some odd reason, i'm scared. ever since he told me that he wished i could get over him, i don't know what to think. i'm afraid to tell him how much i miss him and want him with me, because i don't think he wants the same thing.
there isn't much more to say. i feel frozen inside, as if i swallowed liquid nitrogen. i just don't know how to be, how to act. what is it about me that makes people turn away? i should just stop letting them in.