(no subject)
so how long has it been... hang on lemme check!
::runs and check last entry::
damn... i haven't written a goddamn thing since december...
well, a lot happened. i have a job i hate but am working on getting out of. i started modeling, have done a few photoshoots so far, it's been going pretty good! also have made some awesome friends, met a really great guy, and things are just going well.
i still have some misgivings of course. i still miss boise, i still love my scumby, and i'm still convinced that someday he and i will end up together. it seems foolish to most when i say that, but i don't really give a shit. it sounds naive, and silly and hopeful, and youknow what? GOOD. thats how i am, tho most people don't really realize it. i act like a bitch to cover the fact that i still wish i could run away and live with peter pan forever, that one day i just might be walking through the woods and spot a unicorn or a faerie. and yeah, it's dumb, but i'm a dreamer. YAAY ME!!!
among other misgivings.... mostly they have to do with scumby, and my new guy. he's nice and really good to me, but some times there are thingis he does that just set my teeth on edge. but then, it's only been 2 weeks, so i'll give it a chance, talk to him and see if we can't work this shit out. which we will, but i can already tell that this isn't at all like me and scum. maybe thats what my problem is. who knows??? but i do like this new person quite a bit, or else i wouldn't have given up my carefree ways because of him.
and... i stopped being crushingly depressed about john (scum). i still miss him and love him with all my heart, but... i dunno. i wish he would get over his shit. everyone else (including his family) has told me at one time or another that he loves me. SO WHY CAN'T HE??? i mean seriously, why can't this guy just get over his emotional constipation? ::sighs:: but in a way that is exceedingly callous of me to say, because i know john, and i know how he is. i can't wait till i go back and visit him. first thing i'm going to do is run up to him and hug him and prolly start bawling. fucker is getting a teary emotional glomp from dah lacey next time i see him.
funny, why don't i ever get those? i mean, not the teary emotional part, but the glomping part? when dan showed up at the club last night, he got glomped by everyone and they all startyed screaming his name. granted, all the havortown girls were there, so yeah. that would TOTALLY explain it.
umm, i'm gonna start updating regularly again, so yeah. hope to actually hear from you guys!!!
::runs and check last entry::
damn... i haven't written a goddamn thing since december...
well, a lot happened. i have a job i hate but am working on getting out of. i started modeling, have done a few photoshoots so far, it's been going pretty good! also have made some awesome friends, met a really great guy, and things are just going well.
i still have some misgivings of course. i still miss boise, i still love my scumby, and i'm still convinced that someday he and i will end up together. it seems foolish to most when i say that, but i don't really give a shit. it sounds naive, and silly and hopeful, and youknow what? GOOD. thats how i am, tho most people don't really realize it. i act like a bitch to cover the fact that i still wish i could run away and live with peter pan forever, that one day i just might be walking through the woods and spot a unicorn or a faerie. and yeah, it's dumb, but i'm a dreamer. YAAY ME!!!
among other misgivings.... mostly they have to do with scumby, and my new guy. he's nice and really good to me, but some times there are thingis he does that just set my teeth on edge. but then, it's only been 2 weeks, so i'll give it a chance, talk to him and see if we can't work this shit out. which we will, but i can already tell that this isn't at all like me and scum. maybe thats what my problem is. who knows??? but i do like this new person quite a bit, or else i wouldn't have given up my carefree ways because of him.
and... i stopped being crushingly depressed about john (scum). i still miss him and love him with all my heart, but... i dunno. i wish he would get over his shit. everyone else (including his family) has told me at one time or another that he loves me. SO WHY CAN'T HE??? i mean seriously, why can't this guy just get over his emotional constipation? ::sighs:: but in a way that is exceedingly callous of me to say, because i know john, and i know how he is. i can't wait till i go back and visit him. first thing i'm going to do is run up to him and hug him and prolly start bawling. fucker is getting a teary emotional glomp from dah lacey next time i see him.
funny, why don't i ever get those? i mean, not the teary emotional part, but the glomping part? when dan showed up at the club last night, he got glomped by everyone and they all startyed screaming his name. granted, all the havortown girls were there, so yeah. that would TOTALLY explain it.
umm, i'm gonna start updating regularly again, so yeah. hope to actually hear from you guys!!!