weird
so, i realized that my life disgusts me. not exactly in a really bad bad way, but i do the same thing everyday, and it's just this monotonous crap. it's stupid and annoying... or maybe i'm just contrasting it to what i know will be happening when i get back east. i think i'm playing it up too much in my head. i'm so worried that it'll just be the same thing, only worse, when i get back. that all my life will be about is school, work, school, work and more school. tho, given that i'm only going part time at first, i doubt that. who knows, i may only have a few classes a week.
i did get very upset last night...it almost seems as if no one here in boise cares that i'll only be around for less than two more weeks. i've also, realized just how many people think about me just as john's girlfriend. it's depressing. once i'm gone, it'll just be john not in a relationship. it won't matter. i'm pretty sure i know who my friends are, and i know who just considers me john's girlfriend. tho... i don't know. it was bothering me bad before, but i guess it's to be expected. i wasn't friends with anyone before i came here, and i got introduced to everyone as john's girlfriend. so it's understandble.
i got pretty upset again when i was talking to john about going with me to the airport. he tried to say he wasn't going to ask for the day i leave off, or anything, that he may not be able to go at all!! BECAUSE OF WORK
needless to say, i cried. i was upset. you would think, since i'm leaving for good, that he would want to see me off, since he wouldn't see me again for a while. not like it matters. the only reason we're still together is because it's easy. it's someone to come home to.
fuck, i'm getting depressed again. fuuuck.
at least the first week or two back in philly won't be too bad. i mean, i'll be organizing my house and my work and getting ready for class, but it won't be that hectic until i actualy start class. then the shit may hit the fan. we'll just have to see.
it made me feel special, there's a lot of people back in philly who want to see me. people keep asking when we're gonna hang out. it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. weeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i'm hungry. maybe i'll update more later...
i did get very upset last night...it almost seems as if no one here in boise cares that i'll only be around for less than two more weeks. i've also, realized just how many people think about me just as john's girlfriend. it's depressing. once i'm gone, it'll just be john not in a relationship. it won't matter. i'm pretty sure i know who my friends are, and i know who just considers me john's girlfriend. tho... i don't know. it was bothering me bad before, but i guess it's to be expected. i wasn't friends with anyone before i came here, and i got introduced to everyone as john's girlfriend. so it's understandble.
i got pretty upset again when i was talking to john about going with me to the airport. he tried to say he wasn't going to ask for the day i leave off, or anything, that he may not be able to go at all!! BECAUSE OF WORK
needless to say, i cried. i was upset. you would think, since i'm leaving for good, that he would want to see me off, since he wouldn't see me again for a while. not like it matters. the only reason we're still together is because it's easy. it's someone to come home to.
fuck, i'm getting depressed again. fuuuck.
at least the first week or two back in philly won't be too bad. i mean, i'll be organizing my house and my work and getting ready for class, but it won't be that hectic until i actualy start class. then the shit may hit the fan. we'll just have to see.
it made me feel special, there's a lot of people back in philly who want to see me. people keep asking when we're gonna hang out. it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. weeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i'm hungry. maybe i'll update more later...