I'm a stupid bitch.
I hate messing things up with the ones I love. Especailly with Greg. I keep being stupid and starting things that arent even suppose to be a fight. And I know it's bound to happen if I keep it up. I'm surprised he's stayed with me so long. With as much shit as I have put him through.If I keep this shit up. This part of me I dont want to be. He's going to go. And I hate ruining him.
I just want to be happy every day. And not so. I want to make him happy every day.
I wish I could make my sorries work. I wish I did what I said when I said that I was going to get help. I wish I was alot better for him. Alot prettier. Alot smarter. Alot nicer. Alot more social. Less jealous. Less tired. Less stressed. I need a new start. A new location. If things work out in Canada, I'm going to dissapear and leave it all behind.
I want some sanity in my life.
I just want to be happy every day. And not so. I want to make him happy every day.
I wish I could make my sorries work. I wish I did what I said when I said that I was going to get help. I wish I was alot better for him. Alot prettier. Alot smarter. Alot nicer. Alot more social. Less jealous. Less tired. Less stressed. I need a new start. A new location. If things work out in Canada, I'm going to dissapear and leave it all behind.
I want some sanity in my life.