(no subject)
It's a terrible thing to grow up in a guilty family. In translation, everything that goes wrong is your fault, period.
I screwed up quite a bit this week with fictitious statements. So much that my favorite person in the company (who often saves the day when I miss things) raised her voice to me over the phone. Something she has NEVER done. I apologized profusely for messing up so much and she said it was ok. But it didn't feel ok. And over there in her office I wonder if she is thinking 'damnit, I am always fixing everything with this girl'.
My guilt focused mind never really lets go of anything and it is almost certain it will always direct my sensibility.
I screwed up quite a bit this week with fictitious statements. So much that my favorite person in the company (who often saves the day when I miss things) raised her voice to me over the phone. Something she has NEVER done. I apologized profusely for messing up so much and she said it was ok. But it didn't feel ok. And over there in her office I wonder if she is thinking 'damnit, I am always fixing everything with this girl'.
My guilt focused mind never really lets go of anything and it is almost certain it will always direct my sensibility.