"Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you."
"Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you. He said, when you are pissed off at somebody, and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time. Just give them a little more time - and they'll almost always impress you. And that really stuck with me. I think he's absolutely right on that one."--Randy Pausch
So i've come to realize, through talks with the wifey Allison and then further clarification from my sister in royalty jermayla (jeremy ahha), that often times I easily close people off almost instantaneously after experiencing or noticing what I perceive as a "red flag."
I've always been one to believe and supposedly follow the philosophy that an initial reason why we are ever frustrated stems from our inability to understand why someone does something. For example, some thoughts may be "why would you do that? how could you think that way? and the ever popular If i was in that situation, i would NEVER be like that." And that's just it, right, the reality is we can never truly understand someone else's actions because they are not our own. Moreover, it isn't our job to understand someone else's motives or actions, a motive that often times serves as a way to mold them to be what WE individually want them to be. It is in that dissonance, that disconnect, that frustration arises because we would never do or act or be the way the other person is or does.
So how does that rant relate to the quote above? I've come to realize that, although I may have assuaged frustrating experiences by remembering that I will never fully understand how someone else operates, my frustration has instead manifested into other actions. The main one--retreating, closing people off, cutting off opportunities, and jumping to assumptions.
Our assumptions are based on how we understand the world. In the vein of remembering that everyone does not operate in the same manner that we do creates the possibility of making false assumptions or perceptions of what may really be going on. So what do you do?
I suppose an answer that I'm going to pursue is to give people more time, to delay my assumptions. More time creates possibilities for people to impress us and to surprise us. In more time however, and by nature of understanding reality from my own vantage point, I choose to continue to offer time with an open eye; but at least now, I'll do so with the intent to allow someone time to surprise me.
I suppose I have to remember that not everyone can be as instantaneously amazing lol =)
Happy sunday and have a great week.
So i've come to realize, through talks with the wifey Allison and then further clarification from my sister in royalty jermayla (jeremy ahha), that often times I easily close people off almost instantaneously after experiencing or noticing what I perceive as a "red flag."
I've always been one to believe and supposedly follow the philosophy that an initial reason why we are ever frustrated stems from our inability to understand why someone does something. For example, some thoughts may be "why would you do that? how could you think that way? and the ever popular If i was in that situation, i would NEVER be like that." And that's just it, right, the reality is we can never truly understand someone else's actions because they are not our own. Moreover, it isn't our job to understand someone else's motives or actions, a motive that often times serves as a way to mold them to be what WE individually want them to be. It is in that dissonance, that disconnect, that frustration arises because we would never do or act or be the way the other person is or does.
So how does that rant relate to the quote above? I've come to realize that, although I may have assuaged frustrating experiences by remembering that I will never fully understand how someone else operates, my frustration has instead manifested into other actions. The main one--retreating, closing people off, cutting off opportunities, and jumping to assumptions.
Our assumptions are based on how we understand the world. In the vein of remembering that everyone does not operate in the same manner that we do creates the possibility of making false assumptions or perceptions of what may really be going on. So what do you do?
I suppose an answer that I'm going to pursue is to give people more time, to delay my assumptions. More time creates possibilities for people to impress us and to surprise us. In more time however, and by nature of understanding reality from my own vantage point, I choose to continue to offer time with an open eye; but at least now, I'll do so with the intent to allow someone time to surprise me.
I suppose I have to remember that not everyone can be as instantaneously amazing lol =)
Happy sunday and have a great week.