(no subject)

[brshwdsmoke]

gulp, sigh, cry, die, trying to hard to try, make it work, if it doesn't lie, if you hear it, ask yourself why..... i'm not normal, never was, what are you striving for? who put that in your head? pay attention to you, why does it matter? Who wants that white picket fence and the trophy husband who brings home food that you are suppose to cook after getting on your hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor that he walked across in his muddy boots from his day with the boys fishing at the cove? Who wants that? I don't want to play the role of some fucking victim but we are all victims in so many ways.... yes, I am fuckin angry.... and I understand life isn't fair.... but if you are not outraged you are not paying attention, and don't blame me for being someone who is conscious of all the wrong being dealt in the world. People are killing, and dying. People are starving, and being raped..... and you can't understand that connection with that and body image? Well I do make that connection and you aren't the right person to tell me if it doesn't matter to you.... so speak from you white male privelege, because you will NEVER know what it is like to be me. You will never understand that depression of oppression. But if you are not with me, then I consider you against me. But that leaves me at odds with almost all of the world... and I don't fucking care anymore.
I am not a normal girl.... I just didn't come out that way. I won't be shoved into your fucking mold, or kneaded on you butchers block. So stop trying to make me something I am not, because your pattern isn't one that applies.