UGH, almost one month since I said I'd be back.
... and I haven't even written once in the past 30 days. It's like joining a gym and not going (which I'm also guilty of).
I used to say that a writer should write at least 20 minutes a day and that its like working a muscle, if you don't use it, it gets out of shape... and my writing is out of shape.
I can't believe how much my life has changed since starting this journal.
Any random surfer who finds this blog would think that it's been boring for the last little while and that I've had nothing to write about.
Au contraire, mon frere... my life has gotten even more busy and it's changed in almost every way. In fact, it's often a struggle to maintain the way of life that I once led.
So many great things have happened in the past year:
- my career has continued to flourish here at THE BIG SHOW and surprise, some of my ideas actually came to fruition here, solidifying my belief that bigger things are surely to come. I know there is more to learn and possibly new directions to go. Right now, I'm biding my time with my eyes focused on what the next step should be.
- I've been able to dabble with my friends in community and art, although these opportunities come all too rarely. It always kills me when I have to cancel, or miss something, or turn something down because of "work", but I guess that's the reality of balancing - I'm fortunate enough to even get a chance to take part and give back once in a while. It's better than most people do.
- We went to Montreal and to New York and to Spain. Finally, I get to travel without having to couch surf or eat at Burger King. Seriously, I so deserve this. I'm gonna go somewhere hot this winter.
- I finally paid off my credit cards in full after a long journey. I'm happy about that, but it's lined with a bit of sadness -- because its not like those debts were frivelous purchases -- they were me paying rent, buying groceries and paying tuition during times when I was doing what I had to do to make something of myself, not me buying stupid shit.
It makes me sad because I ask, why did I have to resort to living like that, taking all those battle scars along the way? Did no one believe i could do it? Why did I have to strike out on my own, and why do I still have to pay for huge debts when all i was doing was trying to hold on to my own dreams? It makes me sad because no one but me really will ever realize what I had to do to get to where I am today and I guess the credit cards were a symbol of that. I'm gonna be really depressed when I pay of fuckin' OSAP (not really).
For once, I'd like to spend my money on stupid shit.
- I married Rosalyn -- It's funny when people ask "how's married life?" and I shrug and say "It's the same" and they seem disappointed in the answer, as if I'm supposed to say its totally a whole new world and new fantastic points of view... Really, I don't totally believe that -- I already felt comfortable and secure before, that's why I proposed. There's a poem somewhere that says 'love is quiet... love is kind...' something like that... and if I were to say what's different about married life - I'd say my favourite thing is just knowing that there's someone in my corner and that at the end of the day I don't have to wonder, I just know, in every way... and that's it. Of course, there's a journey ahead, but I know its a journey for two people that's the thing that has changed - I don't feel so alone in it anymore. It's that simple, really.
Now, what are my plans for this blog?
Well... I'm not sure yet.
Someone told Rosalyn the other day that they think I should continue to write. I dunno if that means I should write poems again (instead of performing the same one all the time), or I should write screenplays again (wow that's time consuming), or I should write articles again like BrownScene styles of years ago, or I should just write in my blog again. I guess this is the easiest way to ease back into it, so let's just start here.
Whew, that was about 20 minutes.
What a workout.
I used to say that a writer should write at least 20 minutes a day and that its like working a muscle, if you don't use it, it gets out of shape... and my writing is out of shape.
I can't believe how much my life has changed since starting this journal.
Any random surfer who finds this blog would think that it's been boring for the last little while and that I've had nothing to write about.
Au contraire, mon frere... my life has gotten even more busy and it's changed in almost every way. In fact, it's often a struggle to maintain the way of life that I once led.
So many great things have happened in the past year:
- my career has continued to flourish here at THE BIG SHOW and surprise, some of my ideas actually came to fruition here, solidifying my belief that bigger things are surely to come. I know there is more to learn and possibly new directions to go. Right now, I'm biding my time with my eyes focused on what the next step should be.
- I've been able to dabble with my friends in community and art, although these opportunities come all too rarely. It always kills me when I have to cancel, or miss something, or turn something down because of "work", but I guess that's the reality of balancing - I'm fortunate enough to even get a chance to take part and give back once in a while. It's better than most people do.
- We went to Montreal and to New York and to Spain. Finally, I get to travel without having to couch surf or eat at Burger King. Seriously, I so deserve this. I'm gonna go somewhere hot this winter.
- I finally paid off my credit cards in full after a long journey. I'm happy about that, but it's lined with a bit of sadness -- because its not like those debts were frivelous purchases -- they were me paying rent, buying groceries and paying tuition during times when I was doing what I had to do to make something of myself, not me buying stupid shit.
It makes me sad because I ask, why did I have to resort to living like that, taking all those battle scars along the way? Did no one believe i could do it? Why did I have to strike out on my own, and why do I still have to pay for huge debts when all i was doing was trying to hold on to my own dreams? It makes me sad because no one but me really will ever realize what I had to do to get to where I am today and I guess the credit cards were a symbol of that. I'm gonna be really depressed when I pay of fuckin' OSAP (not really).
For once, I'd like to spend my money on stupid shit.
- I married Rosalyn -- It's funny when people ask "how's married life?" and I shrug and say "It's the same" and they seem disappointed in the answer, as if I'm supposed to say its totally a whole new world and new fantastic points of view... Really, I don't totally believe that -- I already felt comfortable and secure before, that's why I proposed. There's a poem somewhere that says 'love is quiet... love is kind...' something like that... and if I were to say what's different about married life - I'd say my favourite thing is just knowing that there's someone in my corner and that at the end of the day I don't have to wonder, I just know, in every way... and that's it. Of course, there's a journey ahead, but I know its a journey for two people that's the thing that has changed - I don't feel so alone in it anymore. It's that simple, really.
Now, what are my plans for this blog?
Well... I'm not sure yet.
Someone told Rosalyn the other day that they think I should continue to write. I dunno if that means I should write poems again (instead of performing the same one all the time), or I should write screenplays again (wow that's time consuming), or I should write articles again like BrownScene styles of years ago, or I should just write in my blog again. I guess this is the easiest way to ease back into it, so let's just start here.
Whew, that was about 20 minutes.
What a workout.