Bahamas Chronicles, pt. 1 - Finally, a vacation.
I'm 31 years old and I've never taken a vacation.
I know, I go to New York a lot... and Montreal every now and then, but that's to visit my family. I went to the Dominican last year, but that was to work so I wasn't ON vacation. Then there's me going to the Philippines, but really I was there to work at that point, plus I was visiting my family.
Nope. 31 years old and I've never put down cash, hopped on a plane, said "fuck it" and gone on a VACATION. So here it is, this is it. My very first vacation for vacation's sake.
Destination: The Bahamas
As the plane was taking off, I felt funny. Not because of the rise in altitude, but because a part of me felt like I didn't deserve to be on that plane. I'm not rollin' in the dough, so how can I warrant the money it's costing to be on this vacation? There is money to save... debts to pay... pennies to pinch.
And then, I closed my eyes, exhaled and opened my eyes again. And I told myself, "I DESERVE THIS. I AM GOING."
Part of the reason I never took a vacation like this is because I couldn't afford it. Straight up. I have been fighting tooth and nail since I graduated almost 10 years ago and no matter how hard I was working, I wasn't getting far. I did all the shitty jobs you hear about.
I drove the truck. I picked up the coffee. I did stupid shit so I could prove myself to some asshole rich person who probably also had to pay their dues too, so that's why they're treating me like shit and paying me peanuts.
I didn't want to let anyone else know how hard I was having it, so I worked hard and I shut the hell up... saved my money, and I STILL went into debt because I wasn't making enough to pay back the debt I incurred trying to make things better.
If only people knew what kind of pill I've been swallowing over the past few years, just so people would be reassured that I was ok... when in fact, I was struggling.
God, it was so hard explaining that to my parents, because the assumption is that young people incur debt because they're frivelous. This assumption was wrong -- I was trying to change my tide and get to a different, better place.
I'm 31 and I can finally say, that for the most part.... the tide has changed.
Finally, it has changed.
I am happy.
Sure, I'm not home free yet. I'm just beginning this new chapter and even though things are going well and the climb seems fast right now, I'm dealing with a decade of dues paying and blind faith... the 'normal people' have gotten a head start on me
A lot of them l living in their semi-detached in Milton, driving their Honda Civic Sedans and going to the AMC theatre on Friday night after eating at Montana's or Jack Astor's.
A lot of them are also quitting their high-paying jobs and cleaning out their cubicles because their souls have been sucked clean out of their being. I meet them on the street, and ironically, some of them ask ME how they can be down with what I'M doing. They want to start over and have a life like MINE?!?! So very ironic, that my parents would ask me why I couldn't be more like these people. (Take that, Mom and Dad.)
Now its time for me to play catch-up, to be who I always wanted to be, to let my talent shine through and to kick ass all over the place....
...and this trip is a gift to myself, because I worked damn hard to get HERE.
This is also the first time that Paul and I get to go on vacation. Seems a little weird that we're each other's longest-standing friends and we have never taken a trip like this. Anyways, here it is.
I'm hoping a bit of my friend's influence rubs off on me. Since we've known each other, I think we've gone in two very different directions. I feel like I risked a lot by going against convention, all the while just wanting things to be stable. I also look at my friend, who has achieved amazing stability, which is probably also against convention too, at least a long ways from Kirwin and Hurontario.
This trip is to commemorate the moment...
the moment of being here, at this point in my life...
... to celebrate the work that it took to arrive...
... and to prepare for the good things that are bound to come.
I know, I go to New York a lot... and Montreal every now and then, but that's to visit my family. I went to the Dominican last year, but that was to work so I wasn't ON vacation. Then there's me going to the Philippines, but really I was there to work at that point, plus I was visiting my family.
Nope. 31 years old and I've never put down cash, hopped on a plane, said "fuck it" and gone on a VACATION. So here it is, this is it. My very first vacation for vacation's sake.
Destination: The Bahamas
As the plane was taking off, I felt funny. Not because of the rise in altitude, but because a part of me felt like I didn't deserve to be on that plane. I'm not rollin' in the dough, so how can I warrant the money it's costing to be on this vacation? There is money to save... debts to pay... pennies to pinch.
And then, I closed my eyes, exhaled and opened my eyes again. And I told myself, "I DESERVE THIS. I AM GOING."
Part of the reason I never took a vacation like this is because I couldn't afford it. Straight up. I have been fighting tooth and nail since I graduated almost 10 years ago and no matter how hard I was working, I wasn't getting far. I did all the shitty jobs you hear about.
I drove the truck. I picked up the coffee. I did stupid shit so I could prove myself to some asshole rich person who probably also had to pay their dues too, so that's why they're treating me like shit and paying me peanuts.
I didn't want to let anyone else know how hard I was having it, so I worked hard and I shut the hell up... saved my money, and I STILL went into debt because I wasn't making enough to pay back the debt I incurred trying to make things better.
If only people knew what kind of pill I've been swallowing over the past few years, just so people would be reassured that I was ok... when in fact, I was struggling.
God, it was so hard explaining that to my parents, because the assumption is that young people incur debt because they're frivelous. This assumption was wrong -- I was trying to change my tide and get to a different, better place.
I'm 31 and I can finally say, that for the most part.... the tide has changed.
Finally, it has changed.
I am happy.
Sure, I'm not home free yet. I'm just beginning this new chapter and even though things are going well and the climb seems fast right now, I'm dealing with a decade of dues paying and blind faith... the 'normal people' have gotten a head start on me
A lot of them l living in their semi-detached in Milton, driving their Honda Civic Sedans and going to the AMC theatre on Friday night after eating at Montana's or Jack Astor's.
A lot of them are also quitting their high-paying jobs and cleaning out their cubicles because their souls have been sucked clean out of their being. I meet them on the street, and ironically, some of them ask ME how they can be down with what I'M doing. They want to start over and have a life like MINE?!?! So very ironic, that my parents would ask me why I couldn't be more like these people. (Take that, Mom and Dad.)
Now its time for me to play catch-up, to be who I always wanted to be, to let my talent shine through and to kick ass all over the place....
...and this trip is a gift to myself, because I worked damn hard to get HERE.
This is also the first time that Paul and I get to go on vacation. Seems a little weird that we're each other's longest-standing friends and we have never taken a trip like this. Anyways, here it is.
I'm hoping a bit of my friend's influence rubs off on me. Since we've known each other, I think we've gone in two very different directions. I feel like I risked a lot by going against convention, all the while just wanting things to be stable. I also look at my friend, who has achieved amazing stability, which is probably also against convention too, at least a long ways from Kirwin and Hurontario.
This trip is to commemorate the moment...
the moment of being here, at this point in my life...
... to celebrate the work that it took to arrive...
... and to prepare for the good things that are bound to come.