The change that ruined my day
I dislike one of my mom's character. She always accuses people out of the blue. It hurts a lot when she does that. Moreover, she makes it worse by not listening to others.
Young adults or even people of all ages can be forgetful, not the way old people do, that may be caused by the depleting active brain cells. I think, my brain only stores things that I consider important, i.e. In line with today's argument, whether I had returned the change I obtained after purchasing some items. Therefore, I could not remember to whom I had given it to. Maybe my father told me to put it in his wallet or whatnot. I just can't really reminisce that insignificant piece of information.
Life sucks here. She also often says derogatory words and phrases. It is needless to say that they pain me deeply.
Why doesn't she listen to others more? I don't know. Maybe she wants to get her opinions heard by other individuals as she hardly had any chance to do so in her early years. I don't know what the real reason is. But recently i had an epiphany that having a long holiday and having to stay at home during that period of time are really detrimental to my mental health. I surmise that this revelation may only be applicable to my life.
She said that I can do nothing but cry. However, she should know that no one really wants to cry except when one is clearly very frustrated and have no other choice but to cry. It is always my last choice of action.
When I said that they do not believe in me, my mom just interrupted me and went on saying that that is preposterous, as she always trusts me to get money from my parents' wallets without supervision. However, the case is different, it was in another context. If they had believed me from the beginning, they would not continue to question me so aggresively. That was the basis of my way of thinking. As always, I was not given the opportunity to state that. I am once again at the losing side.
My bro is my only salvation. From mental damage I mean. At least, he listens to me more than others do. Once he starts working and staying somewhere else, I don't know how long I will last for at home.
I had a revelation based from his incidence: One will not be able to stop crying when the conflict is not resolved. Whether this applies to everyone, I am not sure, nevertheless that's how I am feeling right now.
And my father should stop adding fuel to the fire when my mom is on her scolding mode. It makes everything worse than how it actually can turn out.
I am mentally exhausted. Crying really drains my emotions. Now I am just to tired to do anything.
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