7/8
the Best Man
Author: Brown Eyes Parker
Artist: Caitriona
Link to art: coming soon
Word Count: 10, 718
Rating: K+
Summary: She wasn’t like other women. She could play the smiling best friend, pretending that she wasn’t in love with him.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.
Notes: This story started out as a one-shot, but it didn't want to be a one-shot. So, it turned into the multi-chapter it is now. I have to thank Nerwen Aldarion's encouragement or my cousin, who kept me company on Skype chat while I wrote and rewrote this, and made a million different soundtracks. Also, I have to thank the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, because the awesomeness between Lizzie and William the last few epiosdes was TOTALLY my inspiration to get the last of this written. And as always, thank you to my parents who let me be who I am and allow me to have access to their laptop so I can write my fan fiction.
You and I are meant to be, I’m the one for you, you’re the one for me
A few days later
Their kiss was driving him to distraction. It had taken over him, infiltrated every part of his mind. He could have sworn that his lips were still tingling from Lisbon’s touch. And suddenly, he didn’t know how he could go through with a marriage based on friendship when there was somebody out there who set his senses reeling.
But at the same time, he still didn’t want to break things off with Erin. She had told him once that he was her last chance. She’d given up on the possibility of ever finding love and had wanted to settle for something comfortable.
At the time it had seemed like a good idea, but now that he was really looking his feelings for Lisbon in the face, he was questioning everything he had decided months earlier.
He wanted to go back in time and cancel all the decisions he had made since Red John’s death. He wanted to change his mind and tell Lisbon that she was the one that he had always seen himself rebuilding his life with when he was finally free of the serial killer.
But life wasn’t a DVD player or an Etcha-Sketch. He couldn’t press the rewind button, or shake a plastic red box and get rid of the mess he’d made. The only thing he really could do was learn from his mistakes, move on, and try to make things better for everyone.
He just wasn’t sure how to do it exactly. Not without hurting one person in the process.
.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Jane opened one eye and saw Erin walking across the empty bullpen, her high heels clicking on the hardwood floor. “What are you doing here so early,” he asked. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just think that we need to talk,” Erin said as she tossed her coat on Rigsby’s desk.
Jane nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing for a couple days now.”
“I wanna go first,” she told him as she perched on the arm on the end of his couch.
“Go on,” he agreed, sitting up and stretching.
“I don’t think the two of us getting married would be a good idea,” Erin said quickly as she averted his gaze. “I know I thought it was at first, but that was before I knew.”
Jane frowned. “Knew? Knew what?”
“That there is such a thing as true love. That there’s somebody for everybody out there for everyone. Up until I saw you and Teresa together, I had stopped believing it.”
“What?” Jane asked, trying hard to temper his ebbing surprise.
“You and Teresa are the perfect picture of all the love you see in those Hallmark movies. The guy loses the woman that he adores and he never thinks that he’ll fall in love again. Then one day it happens, he meets somebody new and without either of them realizing what happens, she’s opened
his heart to love again-”
“I’m sure that isn’t true-”
“Have you ever even seen a Hallmark movie, Patrick?”
“Well, no-”
“Then don’t tell me that I’m wrong,” Erin interjected. “Okay? And don’t you dare deny that you’re in love with her either. I can tell by the way you look at her, and the way you touch her sometimes. I can tell by the way you talk about her, and the tone your voice takes when you talk to her.
What I don’t know is why you chose me instead of her.”
Jane shook his head. “Erin-”
“Tell me that you love her,” Erin demanded. “Please.”
He ducked his head, slightly embarrassed. “Why? Why do you want to hear it?”
“Because, I want you to confirm my newfound belief that true love really still does exist. I want you to believe it, I want you to give me a good enough reason to take off this engagement ring and let you go and be ridiculously happy with a woman who loves you as much as you love her.”
Jane met her eyes, her beautiful eyes filled to the brim with hope, and smiled slightly. “I do love her. I’m sorry.”
“I told you that I don’t mind,” Erin whispered as she slipped the dazzling diamond solitaire off her finger and pressed it into Jane’s hand. “I want you to love her. Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”
Jane hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say exactly since she had said almost everything he was thinking already. He cleared his throat and shrugged. “Just that you deserve to be happy and that one day I hope you find true love. That you don’t have to settle.”
Erin smiled. “Thank you.”
“And I hope we can still be friends?” Jane asked.
“Of course we can still be friends! We’re good as friends.” She stood up and touched his shoulder lightly. “I better get going now. Speak. . . soon.”
“Erin, wait!” Jane called.
She turned around and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“Thank you,” Jane said. “For everything.”
Erin’s smile grew, somehow knowing exactly what he meant. “You’re very welcome.”
And just like that Jane was free. He looked down at the engagement ring for a moment and then tucked it away in his vest pocket. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself, a part of him wanted to barrel straight into Lisbon’s arms. Another part of him wasn’t so sure if it was such a good idea to go straight to another woman after things had just ended between him and his fiancée.
But Erin had literally given him her blessing by telling him to speak soon.
He grabbed his suit coat and walked towards the elevator, his steps determined. It was time to finally man up and face his fears.
.
“Lisbon, I know you’re in there! Would you please stop avoiding me?”
“Just leave me alone Jane!” She replied. “I have a few things that I need to do before I have to go into work.”
“But I need to talk to you!” He insisted. “It’s really important!”
“We really don’t have anything to talk about!” Lisbon retorted, wrenching the door open and peering out at him.
“So, you just want to ignore what happened between us the other night then?”
“Yes,” Lisbon answered, wrapping her arms around her waist and looking at him, her jaw set. “You’re getting married soon. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“Well, I want to talk about it. It affected me just as much as it affected you,” Jane said. “For the past few days it’s all I’ve been able to think about.
I can barely eat or sleep. It’s had me questioning every choice that I’ve made post-Red John. And I realized that I was wrong, wrong to think I could spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage-”
“Loveless?” Lisbon asked, frowning slightly. “What do you mean ‘loveless’?”
“I told you when I got engaged to Erin that it wasn’t about love this time.”
“Then what was it about?”
“Companionship,” Jane replied. “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, but I didn’t want to complicate things with love and passion either.
You don’t know losing you would make me feel. I just couldn’t deal with it if I did.”
Lisbon pressed her lips into a thin line. “It didn’t cross your mind that you’d lose me when you married another girl? Because things would have to change between us. There wouldn’t be anymore late night Chinese or midnight movies. You would still belong to her, those moment would be her’s.
And whether we’re together or not, I’m still going to die one day. Everybody does it. Besides, you’re not the only one who’d lose somebody Jane! If we had gotten together, you could go before me. Then I’d be alone, but it wouldn’t have made me any less willing to enter something with you. Because I love you. And honestly I’d rather love you and lose you then never get the chance to love you at all-”
“I want that too,” Jane confessed.
“Yeah? Well, what about Erin?”
“Erin broke things off with me this morning,” he answered, digging the ring out of his pocket and showing it to her as proof. “She wants us to be together.”
“So, you think now that you’re a free agent, I’m just going to jump into a relationship with you?”
“Well, I was hoping-”
“Well, you’re wrong!” Lisbon said. “If you’re really serious about being with me, you’re going to have to woo me first. I want you to prove that you love me and that I’m not just your second choice. I want to know that you chose me first and that your fears are completely gone now. I want to know that the first time something bad happens; you’re not going to run away and settle for the first comfortable option that comes along. I want both of us to be in this together completely.”
Jane brushed a strand of hair away from her face and lowered his voice. “How long am I going to need to woo you?”
“We’ll just have to see now, won’t we?” She replied a whisper of a smile ghosted across her lips.
He smirked, because they both knew it wouldn’t take as long as she was making it seem. Not when being together was something they’d both wanted for a very long time.
Not when they’d already belonged to each other for years.
(part 8)