(no subject)
I havent posted here in the longest time but today I just felt like I had to.
I am getting that itch. The itch for something other than the normal. When my everyday work just feels so mundane I feel like banging my head against the wall. Maybe it would hurt. Most likely I would be in a lot of pain but atleast it would be a change.
I hate feeling like this or saying shit like this. All I can think about is that my aunt has cancer and is in the hospital. And I know for a fact that it seems ridiculous to complain about boredom when boredom in itself is such a luzury. But it is how I feel and I can pretend in front of others but I cant lie to myself that I am incredibly bored.
Perhaps I find work to be lacking in challenge. I feel like I am not really growing as a person. I still want the same things that I did 3 years ago and yet somehow I cant seem to do anythng about it.
I am contemplating which change to make. Should I look for a transfer? Should I get my posted someplace else hoping that the new place will bring with it new challenges and different changes? No. This would be a superficial change. I would still have the same work profile that I always did but its simply that the people would be different and thats a very minor difference.
Should I look for a deputation? I feel like this is the most logical move. The only problem is that I still am fairly inexperienced and so I would have to wait for a whille before I can make any such change. And waiting is something that has become tiresome.
Its a ridiculous thought and one that I will hopefull not go through but I have actually contemplated getting married. Perhaps that would be the change that is needed. The problem with this is that I am not in love with anyone and I am not jaded enough to marry someone I do not love. I see the people around me doing this and it seems like such a temporary solution to a bigger problem. Mostly people get married just so others will stop asking them the most dreaded of questions "So, when are you getting married?"
Great. Now, I have a headache as well!
I am getting that itch. The itch for something other than the normal. When my everyday work just feels so mundane I feel like banging my head against the wall. Maybe it would hurt. Most likely I would be in a lot of pain but atleast it would be a change.
I hate feeling like this or saying shit like this. All I can think about is that my aunt has cancer and is in the hospital. And I know for a fact that it seems ridiculous to complain about boredom when boredom in itself is such a luzury. But it is how I feel and I can pretend in front of others but I cant lie to myself that I am incredibly bored.
Perhaps I find work to be lacking in challenge. I feel like I am not really growing as a person. I still want the same things that I did 3 years ago and yet somehow I cant seem to do anythng about it.
I am contemplating which change to make. Should I look for a transfer? Should I get my posted someplace else hoping that the new place will bring with it new challenges and different changes? No. This would be a superficial change. I would still have the same work profile that I always did but its simply that the people would be different and thats a very minor difference.
Should I look for a deputation? I feel like this is the most logical move. The only problem is that I still am fairly inexperienced and so I would have to wait for a whille before I can make any such change. And waiting is something that has become tiresome.
Its a ridiculous thought and one that I will hopefull not go through but I have actually contemplated getting married. Perhaps that would be the change that is needed. The problem with this is that I am not in love with anyone and I am not jaded enough to marry someone I do not love. I see the people around me doing this and it seems like such a temporary solution to a bigger problem. Mostly people get married just so others will stop asking them the most dreaded of questions "So, when are you getting married?"
Great. Now, I have a headache as well!