16.
I am so bored at work right now it's not even funny! I don't know how I worked 8-5 over the summer, howwww boooorrrring!... but it's waaaay worth it to work longer days today and friday and have gotten to stay home an extra day :).
16 days and then I can go home again. I am tottally "that" girl right now... all I can think about is getting to see Alex again. And a huge part of me is scared that the distance will get to him, that as I'm gone it will be an out of sight out of mind thing....I know it's not like that though.. but I can't help but be scared. Hopefully it will be more along the lines of a "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing haha... one can only hope.
I think the reason I am so worried is because I feel so strongly for him. I really cannot even put into words how I feel. I feel like my heart could explode right now, I want to laugh and cry all at the same time, it's really overwhelming. But in an amazingly wonderful sort of way.
I think I scared the crap out of myself the other day when I was talking to sammy.. she said something about how weird it is that now that we are getting older doesn't it feel weird that we shouldn't really waste our time on anyone that we couldn't see ourselves with in the long run... and I didn't even think before I told her that I could see myself with Alex...and at the time I wasn't really shocked to hear myself say that... but the more I thought about it the more and more I'm like... how the hell do I feel so comfortable with him, how do I feel so strongly so soon...I mean i know I am an emotional person and I do tend to get attached... but this is so different. I don't think I ever even felt as strongly for Duane after a year as I do for Alex now. I've only known him for a little over 2 months...it's so insane...
If I were anyone else listening to the things I was saying about how I am feeling I would think that I was insane.... if that even makes sense.
But I honestly do not even care what anyone else thinks about us... and thats the most beautiful thing of all. I feel so beatifully happy...despite the distance, despite this stupid town and the messy people I live with... despite the lack of funds and the other stressors in my life... nothing else seems as horrible as it was before....
[wow, I sound like the ending to an especially sickening disney movie... but I don't even care haha. I'm fucking happy, and right now, that's all that matters :).]
I keep thinking about the Libra thing too... I know it sounds crazy... but I really think more and more there is something to this whole thing. The people in my life that I have always felt the strongest mental connection with have been libra's. I feel like they get me, and I get them. I won't go on and on about that... but basically I just really love the intensity and passion that comes with a Libra... I could do without the indecisiveness haha, but that's only a minor downfall that I am used to anyways :)
he just gets me. and I couldn't be happier.
16 days and then I can go home again. I am tottally "that" girl right now... all I can think about is getting to see Alex again. And a huge part of me is scared that the distance will get to him, that as I'm gone it will be an out of sight out of mind thing....I know it's not like that though.. but I can't help but be scared. Hopefully it will be more along the lines of a "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing haha... one can only hope.
I think the reason I am so worried is because I feel so strongly for him. I really cannot even put into words how I feel. I feel like my heart could explode right now, I want to laugh and cry all at the same time, it's really overwhelming. But in an amazingly wonderful sort of way.
I think I scared the crap out of myself the other day when I was talking to sammy.. she said something about how weird it is that now that we are getting older doesn't it feel weird that we shouldn't really waste our time on anyone that we couldn't see ourselves with in the long run... and I didn't even think before I told her that I could see myself with Alex...and at the time I wasn't really shocked to hear myself say that... but the more I thought about it the more and more I'm like... how the hell do I feel so comfortable with him, how do I feel so strongly so soon...I mean i know I am an emotional person and I do tend to get attached... but this is so different. I don't think I ever even felt as strongly for Duane after a year as I do for Alex now. I've only known him for a little over 2 months...it's so insane...
If I were anyone else listening to the things I was saying about how I am feeling I would think that I was insane.... if that even makes sense.
But I honestly do not even care what anyone else thinks about us... and thats the most beautiful thing of all. I feel so beatifully happy...despite the distance, despite this stupid town and the messy people I live with... despite the lack of funds and the other stressors in my life... nothing else seems as horrible as it was before....
[wow, I sound like the ending to an especially sickening disney movie... but I don't even care haha. I'm fucking happy, and right now, that's all that matters :).]
I keep thinking about the Libra thing too... I know it sounds crazy... but I really think more and more there is something to this whole thing. The people in my life that I have always felt the strongest mental connection with have been libra's. I feel like they get me, and I get them. I won't go on and on about that... but basically I just really love the intensity and passion that comes with a Libra... I could do without the indecisiveness haha, but that's only a minor downfall that I am used to anyways :)
he just gets me. and I couldn't be happier.