(no subject)
Of late I've been dreaming of dark chocolate covered cherries, the freshest vegetables the earth has to offer, tuna and whole grain carbs, running shoes and a tighter body. Just a few more days until I move back to my childhood home, with more independence than before, but less than I've known the last three years. I'm excited. I'm sad. I'm ready for the hard work towards something better. I'm ready to fufill my goals of becoming someone hard working and I pray that the light of my spirit will cease to flicker and become steady. He's good for me in that motivational way. He lacks affection and intimacy in the way that I need. The change I've longed for is coming, and I'm frightened but ready for the ride. Finally the peace of mind, compromise, and support I need to set myself on a path towards better things and better times. I want to plant a rose bush and nurture it from seedling to shrub and gaze upon its beauty in the springs to come. I want to lay in the open field and gaze up at the stars, though they'll probably think I'm nuts. I want to sip wine and listen to the highway and the sounds of high school, where I was drafted. My body shivers with anticipation. Now for a deep breath and the first step. The first item packed will bring tears for the memories, and rest for the soul. 8 short days and it begins. Will you please come see me? I long to talk to you more than any other. I miss our stimulating conversations over coffe, chop sticks, french fries or pie. These things have been begging to be written, and in the whirlwind of thoughts in my mind, I hope they are coherent. With that I'll say goodnight.