Of Fairy Wings and Cement Trucks
Okay, so last Saturday, I got a recorded message phone call from Bama's Office of Student Receivables saying I needed to confirm my enrollment on mybama.com. Okay, cool. I logged in, found the proper page, and tried to do so. MyBama then informed me that I had to pay $2,939.00 to confirm said enrollment.
So I'm freaking and spazzing, because I am supposed to have a full academic scholarship and was assured by some woman from the Scholarship Office that said scholarship would be credited to my account for the fall semester.
I called the Office of Student Receivables three times. They don't actually answer their phones, you see, as that would be un-bureaucratic behavior and therefore entirely unacceptable. Also, in keeping with that logic, they also don't return phone calls. It was Thursday before I actually talked to a human being--and the deadline for confirming registration was Friday.
The woman from Student Receivables said I had to talk to someone from Scholarships, typical bureaucratic behavior. She transferred me over to that office, and someone actually answered the phone there. Turns out they had *lost* my scholarship when they transferred registration et cetera from Tide Navigator to MyBama. How do you *lose* $3000? That's a lot of money, especially for an unemployed college student who can't even afford to put gas in her tank and doesn't have a rutting place to live! But she did fix it and told me everything was taken care of.
I didn't even bother bringing up the fact that they were charging housing costs to my scholarship fund despite the fact that THEY screwed me out of a place to live on campus. To borrow from Mr. Garibaldi, protests with bureaucratic administrators are about as useful as fairy wings on a cement truck.
Well, today I got another recorded message from the University. They said that I needed to confirm my enrollment ASAP--"If you do not confirm your enrollment by Monday, August 14, your enrollment will be canceled.". Uh, 'scuse me, isn't that what I spent hours on the phone getting accomplished? I assumed that when the woman from Scholarships told me "everything is taken care of," she meant my enrollment was confirmed. But I logged onto MyBama, where I found the following e-mail in my inbox:
"The University of Alabama has an important reminder about your Fall 2006 enrollment. If you will not be attending the University for the Fall term, you must cancel your enrollment by 3 p.m., Monday, August 14, 2006, or you will be officially enrolled and subject to associated charges. If you will be attending, no action is required."
By this point I am utterly confounded as to what I am supposed to do, so I go to the Student Receivables page and log in. It tells me this: "You have sufficient funds to cover all financial cost for the Fall 2006 term. Your schedule will be automatically confirmed unless you cancel your schedule by August 11, 2006. Once your schedule has been confirmed, you are liable for charges incurred, in accordance with institutional refund policies." But then the projected account balance was -$200. Beneath that, it had a link that said, "Yes, I will attend UA during Fall 2006." So I clicked it, and it says I'm enrolled, despite the fact that it also says my account balance is -$200.
WTF, mate? These fidiots can't get their stories straight! I have no rutting idea what is going on. Whatever. I give up.
But anyone who understands bureaucratic math and wants to explain this to me, I'd be eternally grateful.
Summary Total Account Balance:
$2,939.00
Projected Credits and Payments:
$3,139.00
Projected Account Balance:
-$200.00
--Fall 2006--
Description - Charges and Credits
Charge Payment
DINING DOLLARS 300.00
TUITION-UG F/T HRS (R)
$2,639.00
Description - Projected Term Credits and Payments
Charge Payment
Presidential M/A/H 2004 $2,639.00
U A Special Merit/Ach Schol $500.00
So I'm freaking and spazzing, because I am supposed to have a full academic scholarship and was assured by some woman from the Scholarship Office that said scholarship would be credited to my account for the fall semester.
I called the Office of Student Receivables three times. They don't actually answer their phones, you see, as that would be un-bureaucratic behavior and therefore entirely unacceptable. Also, in keeping with that logic, they also don't return phone calls. It was Thursday before I actually talked to a human being--and the deadline for confirming registration was Friday.
The woman from Student Receivables said I had to talk to someone from Scholarships, typical bureaucratic behavior. She transferred me over to that office, and someone actually answered the phone there. Turns out they had *lost* my scholarship when they transferred registration et cetera from Tide Navigator to MyBama. How do you *lose* $3000? That's a lot of money, especially for an unemployed college student who can't even afford to put gas in her tank and doesn't have a rutting place to live! But she did fix it and told me everything was taken care of.
I didn't even bother bringing up the fact that they were charging housing costs to my scholarship fund despite the fact that THEY screwed me out of a place to live on campus. To borrow from Mr. Garibaldi, protests with bureaucratic administrators are about as useful as fairy wings on a cement truck.
Well, today I got another recorded message from the University. They said that I needed to confirm my enrollment ASAP--"If you do not confirm your enrollment by Monday, August 14, your enrollment will be canceled.". Uh, 'scuse me, isn't that what I spent hours on the phone getting accomplished? I assumed that when the woman from Scholarships told me "everything is taken care of," she meant my enrollment was confirmed. But I logged onto MyBama, where I found the following e-mail in my inbox:
"The University of Alabama has an important reminder about your Fall 2006 enrollment. If you will not be attending the University for the Fall term, you must cancel your enrollment by 3 p.m., Monday, August 14, 2006, or you will be officially enrolled and subject to associated charges. If you will be attending, no action is required."
By this point I am utterly confounded as to what I am supposed to do, so I go to the Student Receivables page and log in. It tells me this: "You have sufficient funds to cover all financial cost for the Fall 2006 term. Your schedule will be automatically confirmed unless you cancel your schedule by August 11, 2006. Once your schedule has been confirmed, you are liable for charges incurred, in accordance with institutional refund policies." But then the projected account balance was -$200. Beneath that, it had a link that said, "Yes, I will attend UA during Fall 2006." So I clicked it, and it says I'm enrolled, despite the fact that it also says my account balance is -$200.
WTF, mate? These fidiots can't get their stories straight! I have no rutting idea what is going on. Whatever. I give up.
But anyone who understands bureaucratic math and wants to explain this to me, I'd be eternally grateful.
Summary Total Account Balance:
$2,939.00
Projected Credits and Payments:
$3,139.00
Projected Account Balance:
-$200.00
--Fall 2006--
Description - Charges and Credits
Charge Payment
DINING DOLLARS 300.00
TUITION-UG F/T HRS (R)
$2,639.00
Description - Projected Term Credits and Payments
Charge Payment
Presidential M/A/H 2004 $2,639.00
U A Special Merit/Ach Schol $500.00