Laundry as a metaphor for recovery
Alternate title: "Responsibility does not necessarily equal enthusiasm."
I was talking on an ED recovery forum about my apathy about going to Riggs, and one of the girls there sort of took me to task for "not taking responsibility for my recovery." That kind of pissed me off because I'm doing the goddamn best I can. It may not look like much to most people, but I *AM* trying.
I'm not expecting anyone else to take responsibility for my recovery. I'm not thrilled about what I have to do, but I'm doing what I can. That's about the best definition I've heard for responsibility. I mean, it seems to me it's not really all that different from doing chores. For instance, doing laundry is a huge drag to me. I don't think there's been a single day in my life I've gotten up and said, "Oh, yay, laundry to do today!" But that doesn't mean I don't do my laundry. I may not get it all done in one day because other things come up and life happens, and sometimes I throw something in the dryer without thinking and it gets messed up--but I do the best I can, and I get through it before I'm out of clean socks to wear.
Recovery is like that for me. I don't bounce out of bed in the morning and say "Oh, yay, recovery today!" It's a chore for me, and not all that pleasant, but I do the best I can anyway. I'm not perfect, and I do screw up, but I'm getting somewhere. I need it to be okay that I'm not excited about recovery, because I'm still doing it, and this is what works for me.
And to me, that's what responsibility is like in The Real World. Who knows, maybe one day I'll start liking laundry and/or recovery...but until then, I still have to do both anyway.
I was talking on an ED recovery forum about my apathy about going to Riggs, and one of the girls there sort of took me to task for "not taking responsibility for my recovery." That kind of pissed me off because I'm doing the goddamn best I can. It may not look like much to most people, but I *AM* trying.
I'm not expecting anyone else to take responsibility for my recovery. I'm not thrilled about what I have to do, but I'm doing what I can. That's about the best definition I've heard for responsibility. I mean, it seems to me it's not really all that different from doing chores. For instance, doing laundry is a huge drag to me. I don't think there's been a single day in my life I've gotten up and said, "Oh, yay, laundry to do today!" But that doesn't mean I don't do my laundry. I may not get it all done in one day because other things come up and life happens, and sometimes I throw something in the dryer without thinking and it gets messed up--but I do the best I can, and I get through it before I'm out of clean socks to wear.
Recovery is like that for me. I don't bounce out of bed in the morning and say "Oh, yay, recovery today!" It's a chore for me, and not all that pleasant, but I do the best I can anyway. I'm not perfect, and I do screw up, but I'm getting somewhere. I need it to be okay that I'm not excited about recovery, because I'm still doing it, and this is what works for me.
And to me, that's what responsibility is like in The Real World. Who knows, maybe one day I'll start liking laundry and/or recovery...but until then, I still have to do both anyway.