Just thinking.
You know, I was doing some thinking earlier and I realized something. Prior to moving out on my own, I was convinced that leaving for college would be an automatic solution to all of my problems. I couldn't wait to get out of Highlands county and leaving everything behind.
And now, here I am in my second semester here at FGCU with a completely new outlook on things. While moving out on my own has been great for me in the sense that I'm learning a great deal and working towards an amazing goal, leaving home behind didn't solve any of my problems. As a matter of fact, being here has made me realize how good I had it back at home. My first impression of 80% of the people here was completely false; they came across as genuine and caring when in reality, they're the most two-faced, maniuplative, decietful human beings that I have ever come in contact with. I mean, I just can't understand how these people can be okay with themselves knowing what a double-sided live they're living. And, I suppose that's where we clash. I'm the type of person who would rather be labled as a "bitch" than "two-faced", just because I have an extremely hard time putting on that sort of act. Why pretend that I like somebody when I don't? Sure, I'll be civil whenever we see each other, but I can't be all buddy-buddy with a person and then talk shit about them when they're not around. It just bothers me and gnaws away at my conscience. That's why I get so easily bothered when I sit back and observe people who I thought were genuine people. Do they not have a conscience? Were they born that selfish and inconsiderate, or was it something that they had to work at? Did their parents not teach them common courtesy? I just... don't get it. Granted, I'm not perfect either, but I try my hardest to be a fair, considerate, and above all genuine person. I just don't understand how people can live their lives happily knowing that everything they do is fake.
On a lighter note, there are people here who I have found to be truly good people, but it breaks my heart to know that I can count all of those people on one hand. I know it was unrealistic on my part to think that I would meet nothing but good people here at FGCU, but still, I would've NEVER expect to meet so many assholes.
Having said all of that, I absolutely cannot WAIT to get home this weekend. Between going to Orlando with Erica, and then going to Tampa to go to the male revue with Anna, and then Madison's birthday/dedication, there's just so much to look forward to! Going home seems to get more and more refreshing as each day passes, and I'm realizing that I will never meet people as genuine as the few people that I still spend time with at home. I may not hang out with everyone that I used to, but it's true when they say that you find out who your true friends are, because I have.
"It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not."
And now, here I am in my second semester here at FGCU with a completely new outlook on things. While moving out on my own has been great for me in the sense that I'm learning a great deal and working towards an amazing goal, leaving home behind didn't solve any of my problems. As a matter of fact, being here has made me realize how good I had it back at home. My first impression of 80% of the people here was completely false; they came across as genuine and caring when in reality, they're the most two-faced, maniuplative, decietful human beings that I have ever come in contact with. I mean, I just can't understand how these people can be okay with themselves knowing what a double-sided live they're living. And, I suppose that's where we clash. I'm the type of person who would rather be labled as a "bitch" than "two-faced", just because I have an extremely hard time putting on that sort of act. Why pretend that I like somebody when I don't? Sure, I'll be civil whenever we see each other, but I can't be all buddy-buddy with a person and then talk shit about them when they're not around. It just bothers me and gnaws away at my conscience. That's why I get so easily bothered when I sit back and observe people who I thought were genuine people. Do they not have a conscience? Were they born that selfish and inconsiderate, or was it something that they had to work at? Did their parents not teach them common courtesy? I just... don't get it. Granted, I'm not perfect either, but I try my hardest to be a fair, considerate, and above all genuine person. I just don't understand how people can live their lives happily knowing that everything they do is fake.
On a lighter note, there are people here who I have found to be truly good people, but it breaks my heart to know that I can count all of those people on one hand. I know it was unrealistic on my part to think that I would meet nothing but good people here at FGCU, but still, I would've NEVER expect to meet so many assholes.
Having said all of that, I absolutely cannot WAIT to get home this weekend. Between going to Orlando with Erica, and then going to Tampa to go to the male revue with Anna, and then Madison's birthday/dedication, there's just so much to look forward to! Going home seems to get more and more refreshing as each day passes, and I'm realizing that I will never meet people as genuine as the few people that I still spend time with at home. I may not hang out with everyone that I used to, but it's true when they say that you find out who your true friends are, because I have.
"It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not."