The Start of a Sin [Chapter 4]
Title: The Start of a Sin
Author: dephi
Pairing: Pitego, Ryotego
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG - 15
Disclaimer: Own the plot, not the characters
Summary: There were times when you were put in a situation where you would have to choose one between two while each of them were completely different from each other There were times you’re your choice would lead into an eternal pain or a guilt. And there were times when you had to make your final choice, although you didn’t want to but the condition forced you too while you might regret it, forever...
Notes: There'll be character's death later.
Tegoshi still couldn't get over Yamashita's confession even when he was already at home. It was the least of what he had expected when he started this at the first place. His order was to keep an eye of Yamashita and he had did it amazingly but he hadn't expected that Yamashita would really fall into him.
His cheeks turned into red when he was inside his room. Tegoshi went into the bathroom inside his bedroom and washed his face immediately. He looked into the mirror and sighed. The redness stayed still in his cheeks no matter how hard he washed his face. But, what was the reason?
Tegoshi stepped out of the toilet before approaching the bed he usually sleeps at. His heart was beating hard even when Tegoshi was just lying down at his bed. He closed both of his eyes as his mind went back to what he had experienced earlier. This was not supposed to be the feeling he should have had. Tegoshi should have been able to just laughing over the confession before thinking of what kind of step he should take next. But he felt it now, the forbidden feeling... No it was not supposed to be like that. Tegoshi wouldn't let his own self to feel that kind of feeling, at least not to Yamashita Tomohisa, and not also to Nishikido Ryo although it was quite obvious that he had had a thing on Nishikido for what seemed to be forever.
Yes, Nishikido Ryo. Tegoshi hadn't forgotten the feeling he had towards that guy at all, although he had tried hard to throw that feeling. And now what he felt to Yamashita. This was too much for Tegoshi to take. He was able to fake his smile earlier but now his heart was torn completely.
A sigh was heard from Tegoshi's mouth when the same thought just popped up into his mind. That was when he thought that taking a rest would make him able to relax, even for just a bit, and perhaps he would eventually be able to get the conclusion. Just when he was about to take a nap, there was a knock on the door. Tegoshi let out an irritated sigh but he eventually stood up to open the door. One of the maids was standing in front of the door, giving him a single polite bow when the door was opened. The appearance of this maid here gave Tegoshi an uncomfortable feeling as he could guess for what kind of purpose she was sent here.
The maid raised her head and looked straight to Tegoshi with an expressionless face. 'Nishikido-sama...'
'I know. At the library, yes?' Tegoshi cut off what the maid was saying and advanced his way to meet Nishikido, even before the maid was able to give a reply to his question. He was, after all, carrying Nishikido's order. So it wouldn't be strange that Nishikido would summon him anytime soon, especially with the impatient self Nishikido had.
----
It didn't take long for Tegoshi to arrive in front of the library. He was not quite ready to face Nishikido yet but there weren't much he could do about it so he had to face it no matter what. Nishikido practically 'owned' him anyway.
Exhaling a deep breath, Tegoshi knocked a few times at the door. 'Come on in.' Nishikido said from inside and Tegoshi opened the door slowly. He unconsciously closed his eyes while hoping that he wouldn't have to get the same sight as the previous time. Tegoshi opened his eyes slowly and thankfully Nishikido was alone at the room. But then there was a high possibility that Nishikido was going to give him another order which nobody should know about.
'What is it?' Tegoshi finally asked as his heart was beating hard.
Unexpectedly a small laugh came out from Nishikido's mouth when he looked at how tense Tegoshi was. Nishikido simply poured a wine to his glass and took a sip of it. 'Don't be so tense. There's nothing to be afraid of anyway.' he took another sip of his wine before staring at Tegoshi. 'So, any new report?'
Tegoshi almost thought that everything was ok until Nishikido finally returned to his usual self, someone with a cold stare. Just as he had thought, Nishikido summoned him just for this purpose. Not that he hadn't expected it, it's just he couldn't help to feel a bit disappointed by it. 'Just the same as ever. We are friends now, if that is the information you want to get.'
'Hmm...' Nishikido didn't seem to be impressed by it at all. He placed his glass to the table and was silence for a moment, as if he was putting a lot of thought on something. 'You... What will you do if someone gets on your way?'
Tegoshi was a bit startled by the sudden question Nishikido gave to him but he slowly gained his composure again. 'D-Dispose it? It would be a pain on the eyes for sure.'
A weak nod came from Nishikido as he suddenly opened his drawer and took something from it. 'Then, will you do it, for me?'
'W-What?' Tegoshi's body was shaking especially when he saw what Nishikido put at his table. 'You... Yamashita... T-This pocket knife. D-Don't say...' it was clearly seen in Tegoshi’d face that he was so confused of the statement Ryo gave to him. Just when he finally discovered another small part of his feeling... But the look of Nishikido's face made him frowned. Nishikido looked...lonely? It was as if he was expecting a help from Tegoshi.
Tegoshi's body was shaking even hard as he bit his lower lip. But he had finally made up his mind. 'I understand...' he took the thing and put it inside his pocket before leaving the room without looking at Nishikido's face anymore...
####
Tegoshi's body was shaking hard while his mouth was mumbling various things. His eyes were even widened than ever as his shock was clearly seen in it. Tears kept coming out of his eyes while it seemed he had lost control of his own body.
Who was the person standing in front of him? His mind was too confused to think of anything. Another hand gripped both of his hand and another lips were locked with his lips. Tegoshi was finally able to close his eyes before the lips left his and he returned to his earlier state.
Fear... That was the dominant feeling in his heart currently. Shock was the second thing coming. None of this was on his prediction and he still couldn't believe how weak he really was. No wonder Nishikido hadn't acknowledged him even once.
Nishikido, again. The person in front of him was definitely not Nishikido but he couldn't simply forget about him. But then it was Yamashita there. Tegoshi was afraid of what he would think of him, especially when Tegoshi had the intention to kill him earlier. But before he was able to answer his own question, Yamashita's lips met his again.
It was a gentle kiss, not like the one Nishikido gave to him before. The kiss eventually turned into a passionate one as Tegoshi simply let Yamashita took the full control of it. Both of the lips were parted when there was the need of air.
Tegoshi finally got the courage to look at Yamashita's eyes. But what he found there was lust and perhaps a bit of betrayal feeling. Indeed, Tegoshi had betrayed his trust but Tegoshi approached him for Nishikido's sake at the first place so he shouldn't have worried about it at all. He wouldn't have worried about it if only there was no small feeling infiltrated his heart now. It was a taboo yet he couldn't escape from it.
"Y-Yamashita - senpai..." he murmured right when his body started shaking again.
"Hushh..." Yamashita caught his lips again and patted his head. He continued the kiss by trailing the neck and Tegoshi couldn't help to whimper a bit. Tegoshi felt a hand started undressing his shirt yet he didn't give any protest at all. He was pushed into the bed and the kiss took over everything again while Tegoshi simply enjoyed it...
####
He had done the thing he shouldn't have to. Tegoshi could clearly recall what had happened at the night and he regretted it so much. The first thing he did when he woke up was looking at the guy sleeping soundly beside him. That was a big mistake and he could imagine how mad Nishikido would be if he knew what had happened.
He hasted his way to the bathroom and quickly took a shower. It would be the best if he finished everything as fast as possible and left this place before Yamashita would be awaken. But it seemed like he had completely lost control of his eyes. The tears coming out from it couldn't be stopped and he couldn't forgive himself anymore.
"Where are you going?" Tegoshi thought that Yamashita was still asleep but it seemed like he was wrong.
"Home..." he replied without looking at the other's face.
Suddenly he felt the embrace from Yamashita and Tegoshi couldn't help it that his eyes were suddenly widened due to his shockness. "Stay here..."
"B-But, l-last..." a single tear fell down from his eyes and followed by others.
"It's ok. Just...stay here. You are welcome to live here..." Tegoshi wasn't able to hold his tears anymore and he continued his cries while a big hand was covering him.
Is this how it feels to be needed?
E/N : Fast update, yes. In case anyone want to know, this is suppose to be a part of chapter 3, but since it's too long, I divided this into 2 chapters.
And I failed on this.. The rating is up a bit, but I'm not sure if I've rated it right. And moreover, please please tell me if I make any mistake (gramatically, spelling, etc). I'm sure there're lots of mistakes here.
Thanks for reading ♥
Author: dephi
Pairing: Pitego, Ryotego
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG - 15
Disclaimer: Own the plot, not the characters
Summary: There were times when you were put in a situation where you would have to choose one between two while each of them were completely different from each other There were times you’re your choice would lead into an eternal pain or a guilt. And there were times when you had to make your final choice, although you didn’t want to but the condition forced you too while you might regret it, forever...
Notes: There'll be character's death later.
Tegoshi still couldn't get over Yamashita's confession even when he was already at home. It was the least of what he had expected when he started this at the first place. His order was to keep an eye of Yamashita and he had did it amazingly but he hadn't expected that Yamashita would really fall into him.
His cheeks turned into red when he was inside his room. Tegoshi went into the bathroom inside his bedroom and washed his face immediately. He looked into the mirror and sighed. The redness stayed still in his cheeks no matter how hard he washed his face. But, what was the reason?
Tegoshi stepped out of the toilet before approaching the bed he usually sleeps at. His heart was beating hard even when Tegoshi was just lying down at his bed. He closed both of his eyes as his mind went back to what he had experienced earlier. This was not supposed to be the feeling he should have had. Tegoshi should have been able to just laughing over the confession before thinking of what kind of step he should take next. But he felt it now, the forbidden feeling... No it was not supposed to be like that. Tegoshi wouldn't let his own self to feel that kind of feeling, at least not to Yamashita Tomohisa, and not also to Nishikido Ryo although it was quite obvious that he had had a thing on Nishikido for what seemed to be forever.
Yes, Nishikido Ryo. Tegoshi hadn't forgotten the feeling he had towards that guy at all, although he had tried hard to throw that feeling. And now what he felt to Yamashita. This was too much for Tegoshi to take. He was able to fake his smile earlier but now his heart was torn completely.
A sigh was heard from Tegoshi's mouth when the same thought just popped up into his mind. That was when he thought that taking a rest would make him able to relax, even for just a bit, and perhaps he would eventually be able to get the conclusion. Just when he was about to take a nap, there was a knock on the door. Tegoshi let out an irritated sigh but he eventually stood up to open the door. One of the maids was standing in front of the door, giving him a single polite bow when the door was opened. The appearance of this maid here gave Tegoshi an uncomfortable feeling as he could guess for what kind of purpose she was sent here.
The maid raised her head and looked straight to Tegoshi with an expressionless face. 'Nishikido-sama...'
'I know. At the library, yes?' Tegoshi cut off what the maid was saying and advanced his way to meet Nishikido, even before the maid was able to give a reply to his question. He was, after all, carrying Nishikido's order. So it wouldn't be strange that Nishikido would summon him anytime soon, especially with the impatient self Nishikido had.
----
It didn't take long for Tegoshi to arrive in front of the library. He was not quite ready to face Nishikido yet but there weren't much he could do about it so he had to face it no matter what. Nishikido practically 'owned' him anyway.
Exhaling a deep breath, Tegoshi knocked a few times at the door. 'Come on in.' Nishikido said from inside and Tegoshi opened the door slowly. He unconsciously closed his eyes while hoping that he wouldn't have to get the same sight as the previous time. Tegoshi opened his eyes slowly and thankfully Nishikido was alone at the room. But then there was a high possibility that Nishikido was going to give him another order which nobody should know about.
'What is it?' Tegoshi finally asked as his heart was beating hard.
Unexpectedly a small laugh came out from Nishikido's mouth when he looked at how tense Tegoshi was. Nishikido simply poured a wine to his glass and took a sip of it. 'Don't be so tense. There's nothing to be afraid of anyway.' he took another sip of his wine before staring at Tegoshi. 'So, any new report?'
Tegoshi almost thought that everything was ok until Nishikido finally returned to his usual self, someone with a cold stare. Just as he had thought, Nishikido summoned him just for this purpose. Not that he hadn't expected it, it's just he couldn't help to feel a bit disappointed by it. 'Just the same as ever. We are friends now, if that is the information you want to get.'
'Hmm...' Nishikido didn't seem to be impressed by it at all. He placed his glass to the table and was silence for a moment, as if he was putting a lot of thought on something. 'You... What will you do if someone gets on your way?'
Tegoshi was a bit startled by the sudden question Nishikido gave to him but he slowly gained his composure again. 'D-Dispose it? It would be a pain on the eyes for sure.'
A weak nod came from Nishikido as he suddenly opened his drawer and took something from it. 'Then, will you do it, for me?'
'W-What?' Tegoshi's body was shaking especially when he saw what Nishikido put at his table. 'You... Yamashita... T-This pocket knife. D-Don't say...' it was clearly seen in Tegoshi’d face that he was so confused of the statement Ryo gave to him. Just when he finally discovered another small part of his feeling... But the look of Nishikido's face made him frowned. Nishikido looked...lonely? It was as if he was expecting a help from Tegoshi.
Tegoshi's body was shaking even hard as he bit his lower lip. But he had finally made up his mind. 'I understand...' he took the thing and put it inside his pocket before leaving the room without looking at Nishikido's face anymore...
####
Tegoshi's body was shaking hard while his mouth was mumbling various things. His eyes were even widened than ever as his shock was clearly seen in it. Tears kept coming out of his eyes while it seemed he had lost control of his own body.
Who was the person standing in front of him? His mind was too confused to think of anything. Another hand gripped both of his hand and another lips were locked with his lips. Tegoshi was finally able to close his eyes before the lips left his and he returned to his earlier state.
Fear... That was the dominant feeling in his heart currently. Shock was the second thing coming. None of this was on his prediction and he still couldn't believe how weak he really was. No wonder Nishikido hadn't acknowledged him even once.
Nishikido, again. The person in front of him was definitely not Nishikido but he couldn't simply forget about him. But then it was Yamashita there. Tegoshi was afraid of what he would think of him, especially when Tegoshi had the intention to kill him earlier. But before he was able to answer his own question, Yamashita's lips met his again.
It was a gentle kiss, not like the one Nishikido gave to him before. The kiss eventually turned into a passionate one as Tegoshi simply let Yamashita took the full control of it. Both of the lips were parted when there was the need of air.
Tegoshi finally got the courage to look at Yamashita's eyes. But what he found there was lust and perhaps a bit of betrayal feeling. Indeed, Tegoshi had betrayed his trust but Tegoshi approached him for Nishikido's sake at the first place so he shouldn't have worried about it at all. He wouldn't have worried about it if only there was no small feeling infiltrated his heart now. It was a taboo yet he couldn't escape from it.
"Y-Yamashita - senpai..." he murmured right when his body started shaking again.
"Hushh..." Yamashita caught his lips again and patted his head. He continued the kiss by trailing the neck and Tegoshi couldn't help to whimper a bit. Tegoshi felt a hand started undressing his shirt yet he didn't give any protest at all. He was pushed into the bed and the kiss took over everything again while Tegoshi simply enjoyed it...
####
He had done the thing he shouldn't have to. Tegoshi could clearly recall what had happened at the night and he regretted it so much. The first thing he did when he woke up was looking at the guy sleeping soundly beside him. That was a big mistake and he could imagine how mad Nishikido would be if he knew what had happened.
He hasted his way to the bathroom and quickly took a shower. It would be the best if he finished everything as fast as possible and left this place before Yamashita would be awaken. But it seemed like he had completely lost control of his eyes. The tears coming out from it couldn't be stopped and he couldn't forgive himself anymore.
"Where are you going?" Tegoshi thought that Yamashita was still asleep but it seemed like he was wrong.
"Home..." he replied without looking at the other's face.
Suddenly he felt the embrace from Yamashita and Tegoshi couldn't help it that his eyes were suddenly widened due to his shockness. "Stay here..."
"B-But, l-last..." a single tear fell down from his eyes and followed by others.
"It's ok. Just...stay here. You are welcome to live here..." Tegoshi wasn't able to hold his tears anymore and he continued his cries while a big hand was covering him.
Is this how it feels to be needed?
E/N : Fast update, yes. In case anyone want to know, this is suppose to be a part of chapter 3, but since it's too long, I divided this into 2 chapters.
And I failed on this.. The rating is up a bit, but I'm not sure if I've rated it right. And moreover, please please tell me if I make any mistake (gramatically, spelling, etc). I'm sure there're lots of mistakes here.
Thanks for reading ♥