Know your plagues!
So Jim MacDonald @ Making Light wrote Cold or Flu?, a helpful guide to figuring out which is making you miserable.
And then I, uh, remixed it.
Signs/Symptoms
Flu
Zombie
Appetite
May be decreased
For brains
Extreme exhaustion
Usual; at onset of the disease
Increasingly likely as decay sets in
Fever
Usual; high (100° to 102° F; occasionally higher; especially in young children). Lasts three to four days.
Rare; however, zombies are at an increased risk for being set on fire.
General aches and pains
Usual. Often severe.
Common
Headache
Common
Rare
Poor skin tone
Common
Common
Sloughing skin
Rare
Common
Sneezing
Sometimes
Rare
Sore throat
Sometimes
Sometimes
Stuffy nose
Sometimes
Sometimes
Compulsive counting
Rare
Usual
Treatment:
Flu:
Zombies:
Prevention:
Flu:
Zombies:
I am not a physician or zombie expert. This post is provided solely to amuse me.
And then I, uh, remixed it.
Signs/Symptoms
Flu
Zombie
Appetite
May be decreased
For brains
Extreme exhaustion
Usual; at onset of the disease
Increasingly likely as decay sets in
Fever
Usual; high (100° to 102° F; occasionally higher; especially in young children). Lasts three to four days.
Rare; however, zombies are at an increased risk for being set on fire.
General aches and pains
Usual. Often severe.
Common
Headache
Common
Rare
Poor skin tone
Common
Common
Sloughing skin
Rare
Common
Sneezing
Sometimes
Rare
Sore throat
Sometimes
Sometimes
Stuffy nose
Sometimes
Sometimes
Compulsive counting
Rare
Usual
Treatment:
Flu:
- Antiviral medications under medical supervision
Zombies:
- Firearm
- Grenade launcher or SAM
- Chainsaw
- Dismemberment by other means
Prevention:
Flu:
- Annual vaccination
- Wash your hands
- Avoid close contact with anyone who has the flu
Zombies:
- Avoid close contact with anyone who is a zombie
I am not a physician or zombie expert. This post is provided solely to amuse me.