Things we have learned
I got freaked out by my comica_obscura challenge. Why did I say I could write Shiva!? I've read her appearances in Robin and the Bat titles, but argh!!
So I found Richard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter, Shiva's first performance. Hooo boy.
Richard Dragon and his sidekick who speaks fairly painful slang. When the god-daughter of their sensei is kidnapped:
"Rich, I don't mean to sound like an establishment type, but don't you think we oughta drag the fuzz in on this?" Richard, of course, doesn't. Something far more important than Carolyn's safety is at stake: their honour has been damaged by the fact that Carolyn was "in [their] care when when the Swiss grabbed her!" (The Swiss is the villain, not a group of swiss men.)
"We might have... meant much to each other, Richard, I might have... loved you! G-goodbye." Well, she certainly might have, but she's only known him a week or so, and most of that time she was a proffesional hostage.
Arch-villain's name: Guano Cravat. I... just.. I, Guano Cravat. Seriously. Was Shit Necktie taken? I can hardly read any scene in which he appears or is referenced without cracking up.
Richard and G.C. exchanging insults:
G.C.: "As you have no doubt surmised, you have stepped into a trap. I commend you! Your entrance was most resourceful!"
Richard: "Your compliments are hollow... Stupid!"
(All bold in the original.) What are you, twelve?
People are rude to Richard for no good reason. Richard beats them up. Ad naseum. "I'm sorry, I can't let you in, you're two minutes early." "Oh yeah, that's two minutes of whoop-ass!" (I paraphrase)
"I'd like to buy your product."
"How about I just take your money?"
"How about I just open up a can of whoop-ass?" (I paraphrase)
Richard comments, "every where we go, conflict." Uh yeah.
"I have knife. I cut you!" (actual dialog)
The line "Bad men hurt her with hatchets" should not have made me laugh.
In China, they encounter the "alter of heaven" where "annual sacrifices were offered up ceremoniously to the gods of old China." It's implied that these sacrifices were human. Now I'm certainly not an expert on China, but I'm fairly sure it has never had an established cult of human sacrifice. I know this is a comic book, but that's a fairly appalling thing to manufacture out of whole cloth.
Shiva, um.. makes puns. I'm repressing.
Best villain yet. Ojo. He wears a helmet surmounted by a lidless eye. Like Sauron, but goofy instead of creepy. His plan for world domination somehow involves a hybrid ice of his own creation that is "sliprier than normal ice." I so wasn't paying attention. He controls some kind of enormous hovering eye which shoots lasers, and has a tractor beam attachment. And Holy Saint Knievel, I just downloaded David's Steve Goodman dead girl meddly, and it's awesome!
So Carolyn was murdered (read: died by accident in the process of being used as a hostage by) The Swiss, a thug and torturer working for Guano Cravat, a weapons Manufacturer. Shiva used to work for Cravat, prior to her sisters death. Then, believing her sisters death was Richard's fault, she went to work for Ling in order to deceive Richard.
Cravat is working w/ Dr. Moor, a Dr.. Moreau type. Shiva has Cravat at her mercy, but lets him live because Richard asks her to and needs help. (IOW, has a crush on Richard.)
Shiva works for / worked for Ling, an operator in the agency known as G.O.O.D. (an acronym which the book delights in reminding us may actually stand for nothing! That's just how evil they are.) She also used to work for Cravat.
Does this make any sense?
In other news, I had a bet with myself that Te wrote Doubt and Awakening and I win!
So I found Richard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter, Shiva's first performance. Hooo boy.
Richard Dragon and his sidekick who speaks fairly painful slang. When the god-daughter of their sensei is kidnapped:
"Rich, I don't mean to sound like an establishment type, but don't you think we oughta drag the fuzz in on this?" Richard, of course, doesn't. Something far more important than Carolyn's safety is at stake: their honour has been damaged by the fact that Carolyn was "in [their] care when when the Swiss grabbed her!" (The Swiss is the villain, not a group of swiss men.)
"We might have... meant much to each other, Richard, I might have... loved you! G-goodbye." Well, she certainly might have, but she's only known him a week or so, and most of that time she was a proffesional hostage.
Arch-villain's name: Guano Cravat. I... just.. I, Guano Cravat. Seriously. Was Shit Necktie taken? I can hardly read any scene in which he appears or is referenced without cracking up.
Richard and G.C. exchanging insults:
G.C.: "As you have no doubt surmised, you have stepped into a trap. I commend you! Your entrance was most resourceful!"
Richard: "Your compliments are hollow... Stupid!"
(All bold in the original.) What are you, twelve?
People are rude to Richard for no good reason. Richard beats them up. Ad naseum. "I'm sorry, I can't let you in, you're two minutes early." "Oh yeah, that's two minutes of whoop-ass!" (I paraphrase)
"I'd like to buy your product."
"How about I just take your money?"
"How about I just open up a can of whoop-ass?" (I paraphrase)
Richard comments, "every where we go, conflict." Uh yeah.
"I have knife. I cut you!" (actual dialog)
The line "Bad men hurt her with hatchets" should not have made me laugh.
In China, they encounter the "alter of heaven" where "annual sacrifices were offered up ceremoniously to the gods of old China." It's implied that these sacrifices were human. Now I'm certainly not an expert on China, but I'm fairly sure it has never had an established cult of human sacrifice. I know this is a comic book, but that's a fairly appalling thing to manufacture out of whole cloth.
Shiva, um.. makes puns. I'm repressing.
Best villain yet. Ojo. He wears a helmet surmounted by a lidless eye. Like Sauron, but goofy instead of creepy. His plan for world domination somehow involves a hybrid ice of his own creation that is "sliprier than normal ice." I so wasn't paying attention. He controls some kind of enormous hovering eye which shoots lasers, and has a tractor beam attachment. And Holy Saint Knievel, I just downloaded David's Steve Goodman dead girl meddly, and it's awesome!
So Carolyn was murdered (read: died by accident in the process of being used as a hostage by) The Swiss, a thug and torturer working for Guano Cravat, a weapons Manufacturer. Shiva used to work for Cravat, prior to her sisters death. Then, believing her sisters death was Richard's fault, she went to work for Ling in order to deceive Richard.
Cravat is working w/ Dr. Moor, a Dr.. Moreau type. Shiva has Cravat at her mercy, but lets him live because Richard asks her to and needs help. (IOW, has a crush on Richard.)
Shiva works for / worked for Ling, an operator in the agency known as G.O.O.D. (an acronym which the book delights in reminding us may actually stand for nothing! That's just how evil they are.) She also used to work for Cravat.
Does this make any sense?
In other news, I had a bet with myself that Te wrote Doubt and Awakening and I win!