Drabbles: Six ways Kon got laid
I was bribing Zee with drabbles, each a story of a time Kon got laid.
Warning: Kon's getting laid. Also, my sense of humour.
On the one hand, there's some nasty scented burning candles. And she's spooky. And he's seen her bald, and it wasn't a good look on her. And there's something going on where if Beast Boy every learns about this, he's going to be mad. And he's pretty sure she's wrong about Cassie not minding. But on the other hand, it's practically his duty. The titans need Raven in top form. She needs to meditate, doesn't she? Who is he to criticise her meditation aids? Especially if he's one of them.
Bart says he's in an experimental phase. Bart says he wouldn't want Kon to misunderstand. He says human beings' sexuality is innate, but self-discovery is important. He says he doesn't want Kon to feel pressured, he's just curious.
Kon's gotten a lot of mileage out of 'curious' before, and that should have stopped him. Mileage? Bart? You haven't *begun* to see mileage.
Bart takes him through the kama sutra in a night, stopping only when Kon pleads exhastion. Then he curls up sweetly beside Kon, and waits for tomorrow.
See, Clark never told him about this part of being Superman. Sure, Kon wants his own kid-sized body back, but who knew there were so many--
"Superman! It's an emergency!" says the woman. She's wearing pink bunny slippers, but with high heels. Kon doesn't get that. And who knew women actually wore-- "I really need someone to rescue me from this situation. It's... really *frustrating* me. I can't get *any* relief. I think your tool is *just* what I need."
Okay, it's sleazy, but at least he knows what he's getting.
It's like the last four times he's tried to get a little privacy for magazine appreciation, Dubbilex has walked in. You'd think a telepath would have better timing. Whatever.
Kon flies around the house once, to make sure this time, that he's alone, before closing himself in his room, and getting his magazines from under the mattress.
There's one girl who's winking, who always looks like she knows what he's doing and likes the idea of it. Kon turns to her first, leans back, gets comfortable.
"Superboy! Oh, I beg your pardon. I don't mean to intrude."
So yeah, he flirted with her, because duh. She's like, seven foot of babe. But he didn't really think he had a chance.
Until this time she's making him fight her for practice, and he's pissed, sweaty, and thinking Hawaii isn't maybe the best place to live.
And he accidentally whacks her in the head with a falling telephone pole, but she isn't pissed. "Well done!" she says, and pins him, face in the sand, hands in the small of his back. He can't really believe it's happening when she puts her hands down his shorts.
Tana's bikini has a flower printed on it, curling up between her legs. They both hold their breath while Kon traces its stem, and Tana shakes, a little, delicately, because that's the kind of lie she tells.
She lets Kon turn down the waistband, once, but then traps his hands, smiles. He lets her keep them.
She doesn't stop him when he seats her on a smooth piece of rock. She leans back, and tilts her head up. Tourists cover themselves in coconut lotion. Tana loves the sun
The flower tastes like ocean.