Pulled apart
Have you ever felt like you are caught between two opposing forces, held tight to each because of your own feelings of love and caring, then had those two forces rush different directions? I'm sick of feeling like I have to choose between people that I love and care for in my life, it makes me feel very, very sick of trying at times. Perhaps it's not possible to juggle so much or so many at one time, maybe so many different factors are simply to hard to keep in balance all together and I am simply being a ridiculous optimist even trying. I suppose that I bring this sort of thing upon myself, but I just don't know what to do, although finding a hole where I can live comfortably and climbing into then pulling it in behind me looks better and better everyday, just sort of drop off the face of the Earth for a few months/years and not worry about anything for that time. I'll leave off with the whining self-pity now. In other news, the boss at work left for three weeks, which means I get to skip this payday entirely, and won't get paid at all until after the first. My truck blew out it's cooling system again so I couldn't work tonight, although they are certain it will be running for my next shift on Sunday. I get to see my grandaughter tomorrow though, she's going to come over and keep her dear ol' grandpa company for a few hours tomorrow since I am staying home and keeping an eye on the house because everyone will be gone for most of the day and we don't like to leave the house empty since the robbery. Hoping to make it to Summerstar but with my payday getting moved back two weeks so unexpectedly I doubt I will be able to manage the sight fee before Vac needs to send it in, so it looks like I get to skip it again this year, I doubt that I will be making it to NorWesCon at all this year, I have no room, nor the finances to really afford it and at this point in time it doesn't really sound all that appealing to me, too many other things that I need to concern myself with right now, Con requires too much energy for me to enjoy it. That's all that is going on with my as of late, I hope that life is treating you all well.