Friends
A good friend and I were talking about grudges this weekend. I used to be quite good at them, but eventually I lost the taste for them and skill at carrying them (growing up, go figure). As a result the subject of an old one came up. My grudge against them long since faded, but they had shown themselves to be a type of person I wouldn't enjoy being around. My friend asked, "how do you know they haven't changed?"
It was a fair question. My first comment was that apologizing for past behaviors they no longer support would be a good indication of change.
My friend countered with the suggestion that they consider the past over and done with and might not want to dredge it up again.
It was a fair point even though I didn't agree with it. In this case it was a non-issue as opportunities to interact in an environment "safe" from snarky behavior was offered and declined. They had the opportunity to display in public that they had changed if that was their desire. Perhaps the person in question has grudges they haven't released.
It was a fascinating conversation. My friends always challenge me. We don't always agree but when that happens it always inspires me to examine my position and theirs closely. My friends are quite intelligent and they frequently have knowledge I lack that could change my perspective for the better. It is great to have friends honest enough to disagree with you!
It was a fair question. My first comment was that apologizing for past behaviors they no longer support would be a good indication of change.
My friend countered with the suggestion that they consider the past over and done with and might not want to dredge it up again.
It was a fair point even though I didn't agree with it. In this case it was a non-issue as opportunities to interact in an environment "safe" from snarky behavior was offered and declined. They had the opportunity to display in public that they had changed if that was their desire. Perhaps the person in question has grudges they haven't released.
It was a fascinating conversation. My friends always challenge me. We don't always agree but when that happens it always inspires me to examine my position and theirs closely. My friends are quite intelligent and they frequently have knowledge I lack that could change my perspective for the better. It is great to have friends honest enough to disagree with you!