Reality Check
I was accused of being a real sob the other day, and I thought it might be a good idea to test my perceptions.
I am absolutely not a morning person. I wake up grouchy and it takes me a while to get my attitude in order. My normal routine is to get up, shower, dress, make and eat breakfast, check e-mail, listen to the TV and prepare for the day. After about an hour` I am ready to go to work and meet whatever demands the day may make of me. My job has people making demands of me all day.
So when I started taking care of my father I told him that I preferred to be left alone first thing in the morning. In fact I told him that it really screwed up my day to have someone in my face first thing in the morning and I found it very annoying. Now the reason we had this conversation was that he had been getting up early (05:00) for three weeks so that he could rapid fire dozens of pointless questions at me while I was trying to get ready for the day. As I watched my efficiency deterriorate day by day as a result of the disruption I decided I should just let him know the unpleasant effect his behavior was having on me. I figured he would just save the questions until I got home. He was already in my face every moment after work so I figured he could part with an hour.
His response was, "Well you'll just have to get used to it."
It seemed as if everything I told him had gone in one ear and out the other. I finally told him if he didn't allow me at least a little time in the morning to myself I would have to leave. He seemed to get the message, for a day or two.
I started a new job about a month ago. As soon as I started he once again started getting up early (he'd actually go back to bed after I left) and getting in my face again. I was going to remind him again when he entered the living room one morning and prefaced the visit with, "I know you don't like this, but I don't care."
I finally asked him, "So are you just trying to get me fired or what?" Once again I told him that I needed an hour to get my act together in the morning and learning this new job was quite a challenge, one that I couldn't meet if I was having every day disrupted by his morning habits. He sulked, but let me alone for three whole mornings.
Then earlier this week I had the same problem again. I was making breakfast and again he started with pointless questions. I grudgingly answered until my breakfast was ready. Then I took it outside to the front stoop and ate it in silence. I didn't see any point in once again rehashing something that he clearly didn't care about. So I just went where I could prepare for my day in silence.
So is it unreasonable to expect an hour of polite silence and privacy each day, just Monday through Friday? Was I in some way failing to communicate the issue, and why it is important to me?
I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.
S-