Little Girls
When I was a teacher, there was a young girl (I'll call her Katie) who went to my high school. At the age of 16, she decided that she wanted to be a mother--not in the future, but then. She was 16. She got married that year, and got pregnant. Her family backed her decision fully.
I saw her in the grocery store last week. She's in her early 20s now (and quite sexy, I must say), and her little boy is about 5 or 6. She was explaining measurements to him as she was weighing vegetables. He was asking questions and talking away.
While they were standing in the checkout line, she politely shushed him, and looked around to see if anyone was bothered. I had to smile. I was only 8 or 10 feet away, and the boy's voice was no louder than anyone else's. When I got in line, however, there was a young girl (10 or so) who was loudly going on about how daddy really needed to buy her something from the rack. By comparison, Katie's boy was exceptionally well-behaved.
What's my point? Teen pregnancy. We are continually told that teen pregnancy is a horrible thing. It destroys the lives of the mothers, and degrades society as a whole. But nobody tells us why. Why are teen pregnacies bad? Because we've decided that they're bad. Teen pregnancy is shamefull because we've chosen to shame teens who become pregnant. It's recursive logic.
The notion that teenagers are too young to have children is a rather recent development. Throughout history, young people have been having children, and it's been considered "normal". Katie is a perfect example of why the "teen pregnancy is bad" mentality is wrong. She made a conscious decision. She had the support of her family. Her child was born from love, and was raised in a loving environment. And from the little I saw of him, he is a bright, well-behaved young man. Katie, herself, is healthy, well-educated, loving, and "normal". There are no bad consequences.
Teen pregnancy has been villafied. And the facts have been twisted. I once listened to a speech where the presenter quoted the fact that "80% of teen pregnancies involve women under the age of 20" [1] Read that carefully. 80% of teen pregnancies involve..... teens. That would imply that the other 20% involve women who are not teens.
Another thing these statistics never state is how many of these "teen pregnancies" are women who are happily married and having children by choice. Getting married at 18 and bringing a child into that family when the mother is 19 is not a horrible thing. But we choose to paint those happy families in the same light as the 14-year-old drug-addict runaway who "gets knocked up" and ends up living on welfare, or out on the streets.
I have to wonder... What would our society be like if, instead of branding these young women with a metaphorical Scarlet Letter, we accepted them as part of the community and helped them to raise their children in a loving and supportive environment? If we allowed them to finish school, to go on to college, to pursue careers?
Perhaps the right thing to do (the Christian thing to do?) would be to stop condemning and persecuting these young women, but rather to accept them, love them, support them, and help them. Even if the pregnancy was a mistake, wouldn't it be better for all--the mother, the child, society--if we gave them love and support, encouraged both mother and child toward self-betterment, and accepted them as a vital and contributory part of our culture?
I look at Katie and I see the perfect example of what a mother should be. Why should we destroy all that just because of numbers on a calendar? Why should we destroy her? What possible purpose could it serve?
[1] I can't remember the exact percentage, but it was somewhere between 70% and 90%.
Imported from the Buzz
I saw her in the grocery store last week. She's in her early 20s now (and quite sexy, I must say), and her little boy is about 5 or 6. She was explaining measurements to him as she was weighing vegetables. He was asking questions and talking away.
While they were standing in the checkout line, she politely shushed him, and looked around to see if anyone was bothered. I had to smile. I was only 8 or 10 feet away, and the boy's voice was no louder than anyone else's. When I got in line, however, there was a young girl (10 or so) who was loudly going on about how daddy really needed to buy her something from the rack. By comparison, Katie's boy was exceptionally well-behaved.
What's my point? Teen pregnancy. We are continually told that teen pregnancy is a horrible thing. It destroys the lives of the mothers, and degrades society as a whole. But nobody tells us why. Why are teen pregnacies bad? Because we've decided that they're bad. Teen pregnancy is shamefull because we've chosen to shame teens who become pregnant. It's recursive logic.
The notion that teenagers are too young to have children is a rather recent development. Throughout history, young people have been having children, and it's been considered "normal". Katie is a perfect example of why the "teen pregnancy is bad" mentality is wrong. She made a conscious decision. She had the support of her family. Her child was born from love, and was raised in a loving environment. And from the little I saw of him, he is a bright, well-behaved young man. Katie, herself, is healthy, well-educated, loving, and "normal". There are no bad consequences.
Teen pregnancy has been villafied. And the facts have been twisted. I once listened to a speech where the presenter quoted the fact that "80% of teen pregnancies involve women under the age of 20" [1] Read that carefully. 80% of teen pregnancies involve..... teens. That would imply that the other 20% involve women who are not teens.
Another thing these statistics never state is how many of these "teen pregnancies" are women who are happily married and having children by choice. Getting married at 18 and bringing a child into that family when the mother is 19 is not a horrible thing. But we choose to paint those happy families in the same light as the 14-year-old drug-addict runaway who "gets knocked up" and ends up living on welfare, or out on the streets.
I have to wonder... What would our society be like if, instead of branding these young women with a metaphorical Scarlet Letter, we accepted them as part of the community and helped them to raise their children in a loving and supportive environment? If we allowed them to finish school, to go on to college, to pursue careers?
Perhaps the right thing to do (the Christian thing to do?) would be to stop condemning and persecuting these young women, but rather to accept them, love them, support them, and help them. Even if the pregnancy was a mistake, wouldn't it be better for all--the mother, the child, society--if we gave them love and support, encouraged both mother and child toward self-betterment, and accepted them as a vital and contributory part of our culture?
I look at Katie and I see the perfect example of what a mother should be. Why should we destroy all that just because of numbers on a calendar? Why should we destroy her? What possible purpose could it serve?
[1] I can't remember the exact percentage, but it was somewhere between 70% and 90%.
Imported from the Buzz