(no subject)
I've just been in the slump it seems like, i can't seem to unravel from it. I've started composing again...i have these sparks of energy to accomplish it, but then it dies like a possum on the street. But hopefully with these new developments within my life, maybe i'll actually start to appreciate music once again.
I miss ellen. She definately was the one that would always make my day feel like it should mean something. I wish i could have that feeling back. I can even see it in her that she misses me also, but i knew that she wasn't happy with me. I hope she finds someone that will though...i wish i'll find someone that will though...It's a constant debate within me...should i be with a musician who can appreciate music with me at that higher level of understanding...who i can compose for and have at my side for all of my accomplishments...or should i be with someone who doesn't understand music like i do, but yet still likes it...it is a must that they like music...but i'm off and on about the actual understanding...i love the connection of being able to go to a symphony or an opera or even a jazz concert and talk about the feelings of the solos or the reason why the composer did it this way instead of that way. Maybe i'll find someone up at UNI...but i'm feeling like that's going to be a dream that might never be come real...
I don't understand why Augie students seem stuck up. I try and talk to some of them, but then they comment back to me with rude/harsh demeaning things that they can't say since they don't know me. I'm starting to feel that no one really knows me...i don't even know me...
I went to the district last night with some friends and i felt so out of place. I want to have fun and drink and be a normal college student, and i can do that here at my townhouse, but whenever i go anywhere else, i crawl into my shell and never leave until everyone is ready to go...
This seems like a pretty down entry, i don't mean it be like that...
The play is going well, we started having costumes a couple days ago, i have green tights, it's rather funny...the capes keep choking me, but i'll deal with it...we had most of the platforms last night...we should have all of the them next week...it's going to be awesome...i hope people will come and see it, it's an awesome play, you'll like it.
Things To Do:
1) Compose more (especially get brenda's music out to her)
2) Apply to UNI
3) Find a girlfriend (any one interested??)
I miss ellen. She definately was the one that would always make my day feel like it should mean something. I wish i could have that feeling back. I can even see it in her that she misses me also, but i knew that she wasn't happy with me. I hope she finds someone that will though...i wish i'll find someone that will though...It's a constant debate within me...should i be with a musician who can appreciate music with me at that higher level of understanding...who i can compose for and have at my side for all of my accomplishments...or should i be with someone who doesn't understand music like i do, but yet still likes it...it is a must that they like music...but i'm off and on about the actual understanding...i love the connection of being able to go to a symphony or an opera or even a jazz concert and talk about the feelings of the solos or the reason why the composer did it this way instead of that way. Maybe i'll find someone up at UNI...but i'm feeling like that's going to be a dream that might never be come real...
I don't understand why Augie students seem stuck up. I try and talk to some of them, but then they comment back to me with rude/harsh demeaning things that they can't say since they don't know me. I'm starting to feel that no one really knows me...i don't even know me...
I went to the district last night with some friends and i felt so out of place. I want to have fun and drink and be a normal college student, and i can do that here at my townhouse, but whenever i go anywhere else, i crawl into my shell and never leave until everyone is ready to go...
This seems like a pretty down entry, i don't mean it be like that...
The play is going well, we started having costumes a couple days ago, i have green tights, it's rather funny...the capes keep choking me, but i'll deal with it...we had most of the platforms last night...we should have all of the them next week...it's going to be awesome...i hope people will come and see it, it's an awesome play, you'll like it.
Things To Do:
1) Compose more (especially get brenda's music out to her)
2) Apply to UNI
3) Find a girlfriend (any one interested??)