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You know, for all the advice on love, life, and relationships; I think its my turn to get some because I really just dont know what to think or do anymore. My life is a whirlwind of everything. I dont think I can handle it all anymore. I feel like a machine. You would never know because everything on the outside looks fine, like I have the perfect
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I can't say I know exactly how you feel, because that wouldn't be accurate since I am not you, but I can certainly sympathize with how you feel. Its always hard when it seems like on the surface, there is nothing wrong with your life, and yet at the same time, you can't help but try to figure out why you feel the way you do, and how to fix all of the things that other people don't see, or understand. I do know what its like to feel as though you have no one to talk to, or not be near the one person who you can talk to; its frustrating to say the least. So although I don't know if I'm any good at giving advice, this is what I can tell you based on my personal experience...
Don't let other people decide what should be the most important things in your life. You are a part of all the things you do for a reason, and ergo, it should be you exclusively making all fo the executive decisions in your life. I think it is so important to have goals and a bunch of things to want to accomplish in your life, but Brooke, you are still young, and you are only a teenager for so long, and going through that effectively is not something you can accomplish at a later date, so please, try really hard to do that now. Take is from someone who sort of skipped their adolescents, and went from having the mindset of a 12 year old, to having the mindset of a 40 year old. You will have the rest of your life to climb mountains, and ride in a hot air balloon with the love of your life. Also, if you feel like you don't need to get married, or have a boyfriend, thats ok too, you shouldn't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. I've always been a big believer in doing things in doing things on your own time, not letting other people's opinions sway you one way or the other, which I guess is being hypocritical since I'm sitting here, typing out advice, but these are just suggestions. As for saying goodbye to people that you love, I don't know, I really don't know what to tell you because as much as I hate to say it, I don't really get attached enough to people where I don't know what I'm going to do when they go away. That's something I definately wish I could change, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt myself... I don't know. But regarding what Watson said, Brooke, everthing will be ok. I don't know if its going to happen soon, or, you might end up like me, where things take until college to finally balance themselves out, but all of these confusing feelings you have will eventually end when you find yourself in a place you are completely comfortable with, and where you feel totally loved and accepted. Until then, things will definately suck at times, and you'll wish you could just erase yourself from the face of the earth, but please trust me, it will all turn out to be worth it. You will learn invaluable lessons about appreciation, compassion, and self-worth. You just have to hang in there, and do the best you can with what you have.
If you ever need me, or just want to talk to someone different, give me a holler 313-5138.
-Alyssa
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